Let The Rain Fall by lily_evans34
Chapter Notes: EDIT: I haven't been able to edit in any of Dory_the_fishie's lovely revisions, because I sent this to queue before having it beta'd. I plan on doing that very shortly, however!
Ginny leaned back in her chair, staring vacantly into the fire, trying to empty her mind of thought.
Rain was pouring onto the rooftop; the only sound that could be heard through the empty house. It would have been eerie, almost, had this not been the atmosphere presented to her each day. Possibly it may have seemed frightening to someone else. But this was the life that she knew, for now. The only life she had known for a while. Perhaps she wanted change. Something else to occur to make her life meaningful. But all she was aware of was pain. All she was ever aware of.
Ginny stared down at her hand, and ran her right index finger over the silver ring, glinting faintly on the dim firelight.
She used to cry whenever she saw the ring. She used to sob for what was, and what could have been. But now, the desolate feeling that had settled over her made her pain beyond tears. She wanted this pain to stop. She wanted her heart to be whole again, though she knew that nothing could come of wanting. No amount of wishing could ease her pain. No amount of hoping could mend her heart.
She thought back to the day that Harry had given her the ring.
It had been a year ago today. There was a light snow falling onto the ground. It was freezing, though Harry had insisted on taking a walk.
“I have something to ask you,” he had told her.
At those words, Ginny could only guess what was to come. He could ask anything, good or bad. She didn’t care, though. Due to recent events, she had taught herself not to rely on optimism. But could she help herself? Is it possible to help yourself from being optimistic when you’re in love? She was only filled with an unexplainable anxiety, and could hardly enjoy their hour long walk. She kept waiting to hear what Harry had to say.
At long last, they stopped.
“Ginny,” Harry began. She could feel herself trembling, and her heart racing.
“It’s been hard for both of us,” Harry continued. “It’s dangerous for you, to be with me. Voldemort could use you, or try to harm you in some kind of way. But I’ve told you this before. You didn’t seem to care then, and you don’t seem to care now.”
Ginny smiled at the genuine truth of these words.
“I know it must be hard for you; to wait for me, and to have to worry about me every day. A better man would try to keep you safe, to stay away from you for your own protection. To not keep you waiting. To let you love someone else.
“But Ginny, I’ve tried. And I can’t do it. I can’t stay away from you, Ginny, because I love you.”
He slowly bent down on his knee, and withdrew a small black box from his pocket. Perhaps seconds, perhaps hours passed before he uttered the words, “Will you marry me?”
Ginny felt tears form in her eyes as she said, “Yes. I love you, Harry.”
Ginny stared down at the ring once more, and a faint smile settled on her face upon recalling this memory. She wanted to stop there, to make up her own happy ending. But she knew what was coming next. Denying wouldn’t change what had happened. Pretending wouldn’t make everything alright again.
Two days later, Ginny had been sitting in this very chair, waiting for Harry to come home. She heard a knock on the door, and stood up to answer it. She pulled open the door to find Hermione there, sobbing. Ginny didn’t know what to think. Her heart began to race as she wordlessly invited her inside. They walked into the living room and sat down. Slowly, Hermione’s tears began to subside.
“I-I have something to tell you,” she said, her voice trembling. “About Harry.”
By then, Ginny knew what was coming. She remembered back to the day that Harry had asked her to marry him. She remembered the feeling of anticipation that she had felt. She was aware of that feeling now. But this time she didn’t want Hermione to speak. She wanted to stay ignorant to reality. She could feel tears forming in her own eyes as se sat, waiting helplessly for Hermione to speak, though she knew that no words of assurance were to come.
“He-he’s dead.”
Ginny’s tears had begun to fall. She had begun sobbing, her tears shedding every ounce of remorse and grief that she had. Had this really come as a shock? Hadn’t this been what she had known since Hermione had arrived? She didn’t know. She just continued sobbing.
She wasn’t aware of Hermione telling her how it had some about. She wasn’t registering a word. She sat there, sobbing her heart out until Hermione told her that she had to leave. She sat there, sobbing, until she was out of tears.
Hours later, she picked up the Daily Prophet that she had neglected earlier, and opened it. On the first page was a picture of Harry’s face, smiling and carefree under the caption The Fall of the Dark Lord and the Chosen One. Ginny closed her eyes and started fiercely blinking away tears before continuing.
Harry had been battling Voldemort earlier that day. Harry aimed a killing curse and it hit him. Voldemort had fallen. After years of power, after many lost lives, Voldemort was dead. But only seconds later was a killing curse aimed at Harry. By whom it did not say. Harry, too, had fallen. Harry, too, was dead.
Ginny remembered that moment perfectly. Remembered the feeling of emptiness that followed. Voldemort was dead. Gone. After years of searching for horcruxes, after years of fighting, Harry had killed him. Yet now Harry was gone, too.
Ginny didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Was it selfish for her to feel pain? Was it wrong for her to cry for her own grief when the world was rejoicing?
She didn’t know. She couldn’t answer. She couldn’t see as the world swam in front of her. All she was aware of was her undying pain.
Looking back upon this, Ginny noted a tear falling down her cheek. She didn’t bother brushing it away.
She stood up and walked over to the window. The rain was falling steadily, echoing her unfading feeling of melancholy. She wanted it to stop. She wanted her pain to stop.
Once more, she looked down at her finger. One year ago, Harry had given the ring to her. One year ago today. Not once had she taken it off. Was it wrong to hold onto to those you loved even when they were gone?
Taking a deep breath, Ginny took hold of it, and slowly pulled it away from her finger. A mark was left where it had been. As she held it, it felt warm in her hands. Reassuring.
Walking over to her mantle, she held it tight, felt it warmth one last time. “I love you, Harry,” she whispered as she set it down.
Blinking away tears, Ginny walked back to the window. She stared out at the dreary sight in front of her. The mournful scene her life had come to be. The only life that she knew.
Tears were streaming down her face, now. She wondered if her pain would ever end. If her heart would ever be whole again. She wanted her depression to stop; her heartache to subside.
But for now, all she could do was let the rain fall.