Two months is too little,
they let him go, they had no
sudden healing.
I don't want to talk to anyone. How could I want to? I love him, but I can’t be with him. ‘I can’t handle this. I need him back.’I think to myself.
I get up off of my bed, pacing the room with tears silently trickling down my already soaked cheeks. I didn't cry when he left me, but what can I do now? He thinks that no one understands why he needs to leave. But I know I do.
To think that providence would
take a child from his mother
while she prayed is appalling.
This is all about revenge. He wouldn’t have left me. He wouldn’t need to if Voldemort hadn’t ruined his life at such a young age. He’s left me for revenge, and I can’t blame him. I want so badly to be back in his arms. I want to stand by him to the death. He won't have that though. To me, being with him is worth anything. Being away from him for two minutes hurts more than he could possibly imagine.
Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and why should we be saved
From nightmares
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live
It’s unfair
I love her. Anything that causes me happiness is always snatched away before I can fully enjoy it. ‘Nightmares,’ Harry thought. ‘My whole life is a nightmare; I just can’t seem to wake up.’
I find that my feet are carrying me away, but I'm not sure where I'm going. All I can see is her face. She’s my inspiration. I need her to go on. I've thought about writing to her, but if I do, I’ll want her back. I finally realize where I am. I have walked to the park. It’s empty, and I find it peaceful. I sit on a swing and push off, gently swaying forward and back. Holding on to the swing tightly, I close my eyes. All I can see is her.
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell
We’d be held
We had danced together, one night up in the astronomy tower. I remember it so clearly. She had been studying and I had surprised her. There was no music, but we danced for hours. She failed her test the next day, but I had danced with her and it was the best night of my life. She smiled the whole time. Oh, how I love her smile. I jump off the swing and start running. I can’t believe I left her in the first place. My heart racing, head pounding, and sides burning, I keep running. I'm not even sure for how long. I just need to feel her embrace one last time.
This hand is bitterness
We wanna taste it, let the hatred know
Our sorrow
The wise hand opened slowly
to lilies of the valley
and tomorrow
I hate him. How could he put me through this? Could he think that this has done something good for me? I haven't left my room for days. I don't have the desire to be with anyone any more. I sway silently on my bed, remembering my dance with him one night. It had been so perfect. I can’t hate him. He is everything that I could ever want. He doesn’t see it, but being with him saves me more than staying alone. I hug my pillow tightly, wishing that it was Harry. More tears leaked into the small puddle that had not fully dried since I started crying days ago.
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell
We’d be held
I drop my pillow and storm down the stairs. I am a mess, but it doesn't matter. My mother looks up as I run through the kitchen. She gasps at finally seeing her daughter after days of her being alone in her room. “Ginny,” she said. She never finishes her sentence because I am already out the door and running through the yard. I will never stop running. Not until I have him back. It seems like I will never reach him, but it doesn’t matter. Running feels better than sitting and waiting. Now I am doing something, and the stitch in my side is somehow easing my emotional anguish.
If hope is born of suffering
And this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our savior
I have been running for hours. I hurt all over, but I can’t stop running. If I stop now, I’ll never see her again. I can’t live without her. I close my eyes and run blindly for a while. When I open my eyes, I see someone off in the distance running towards me. It is too dark to tell who it is. It makes me nervous and excited at the same time. It’s her, I know it. I take a breath and run faster than I have ever run in my entire life. She finally reaches me. We stop, three inches apart, just staring into each other’s eyes. Her eyes are leaking tears, making her lovely eyes deep and glossy. I don’t know what to do now that she is here. She makes the first move and leaps into my arms. All I can do is hold onto the girl that I almost let go.
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell
We’d be held
I have no desire to ever move again. Harry is embracing me so tightly; I know that he feels the same. I loosen my grip on Harry and relax into his arms. He gently kisses my lips and I kiss him back. We lace our fingers together and start walking towards the Burrow. We took our time, because when we are with each other, time moves slower. I stop, holding Harry back. I stand on my tip-toes and kiss him lightly on the cheek. I whisper quietly in his ear, “I’m coming with you.”
He smiled at her, “I know you are.”
To Be Held by Seriously in love with Sirius
Chapter Notes: Thanks so much to my Beta, GinnyLovesHarry4Ever
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.