Life Is But A Dream by Pondering
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily.
Life is but a dream.
I. Row, Row, Row, Your Boat
Sirius saw the spell hit him. It was only a stunner. All it could possibly do was knock him unconscious. He would only miss out on the battle. He awaited the unconsciousness, but it never came. He was confused, but figured he would get knocked out when his head hit the cold stone floor.
But that never happened either. Instead, he felt himself fall backward, through some sort of material. I’ve fallen through a curtain, he thought to himself. But his head didn’t hit the floor on the other side of the curtain. Nor did it fall on top of him. There wasn’t even a wall. He saw Bellatrix, his cousin, laughing at him. He saw Harry and Remus. Harry looked in his direction and yelled, “SIRIUS!” He saw his black hair, his skinny, small, frame, and his emerald green eyes. There was a look of shock on his face that Sirius could not understand. What was so scary? All that would happen was that he would hit his head on the floor, and someone would revive him later. Remus came and put his arm around Harry. Sirius fell completely backwards, and he could see the ceiling of the Department of Mysteries. Then the view disappeared.
And then…there was nothing. Well, technically not nothing, it was pitch black, as if he was looking at the back of his eyelids. Where had the Department of Mysteries gone? He couldn’t see an inch in front of his face. He waved his hand around. Well, he tried to. He didn’t have any hands.
“It’s like someone spilled the insides of my head into a black, lightless pit,” he mused silently. He would have spoken out loud, but a voice required a body.
“I guess it is a bit like that…” a voice beside him spoke (spoke?). “It’s quite boring. So dark and lonely…”
Sirius was surprised. There was someone here with him! He looked around, but all he saw was darkness…and more darkness.
“Where are you?” he spoke in his mind. Would there be an answer? Was this some sort of hallucination? Had he struck his head on the floor too hard when he fell? Did he even fall?
“I am everywhere,” the voice replied. Sirius decided by the tone of this ‘voice’ that it was female. Not that it mattered. Were there any differences between men and woman that weren’t…well…physical?
“Are you…God?” he asked, mystified.
Whatever answer he anticipated, it was not the other person laughing hysterically. If she had a body, she would have been slapping a knee. “No, no…” she replied. “I’m just everywhere here, beyond the veil. Just like you are. My spirit is everywhere. It has no physical shape or form in this realm. Just like yours.”
If Sirius had an eyebrow, he would have raised it. “So let me get this straight. We are ‘beyond the veil’. We are in some sort of different realm. We have no physical bodies. But…where are we?”
The female tutted. “We’re in the land of dreams. The land beyond the veil.”
“The land of dreams? But…how do we escape?”
“Escape?” she asked, as if Sirius had asked something amusing. “No one escapes from the land of dreams.”
“The land of dreams?” Sirius asked, confused. “What better way to escape a dream than wake up?”
The woman sighed. “If it was that easy, why would I still be here. That’s how you escape a normal dream. That’s how you escape the realm of dreams on the other side. This is the side of the Dead.”
“I-I’m…” Sirius stuttered weakly, “I’m dead?”
“There’s no other way you can be here.”
“B-but…isn’t there meant to be some sort of after-life? Somewhere we can go and live happily ever after?”
“There is. We just have to get there.”
Sirius could not understand how this woman could be there and speak so calmly about death. He was dead! Dead was a term used for not breathing, which he wasn’t, not thinking, which he was. “So how do we get out of here?”
“There is no escape!” the woman said hotly. She paused. “Unless…do you see that river?”
This woman was a loony, Sirius deduced. There was no river…there wasn’t anything! There was darkness, and there was her. Sirius was ready to think that she was some figment of his imagination. This couldn’t possibly be all true. Dreams, death, all in a day? More like a nightmare.
“I guess it isn’t much of a river,” she pondered, “It’s more like a stream. Or is it? I can't really decide.”
“I don’t see a river. I don’t see anything,” he told her.
“Look.”
“I am looking!” Sirius exclaimed angrily. “There’s nothing there, I can’t see anything! I can’t say anything; I can’t hear anything apart from your voice. How can we hear and speak to one another anyway?”
“You’re trying to see. Take a step back and look. You have to look for the sock under your bed before you can see it.”
“I can’t believe this,” he said disbelievingly.
“Then you may as well not try. The first step to seeing is believing.”
“How can you believe in something that’s not there?” he asked.
“This may sound like a silly question, but do you believe in magic?”
“What does that have to do with anything? Of course I believe in magic. There’s proof it exists.”
The woman sighed sadly. “You have a lot to learn. Maybe this is a better question, do you believe in fate?”
“Well…” Sirius hesitated, wondering how much he should tell this woman. He realised it didn’t matter. She was dead. Like him. “I guess I do believe in fate.”
“Do you then, perhaps, think you were fated to be here, and to go down the stream?” she asked cryptically.
“I guess it’s possible.”
“Then try. Just imagine the stream. It’s there. All you have to do is look for it. I know you can do it.”
“How can you have so much faith in me?” he asked.
“You managed to speak to me. You must have looked for me, subconsciously at the least.
Sirius gazed at the darkness. Then he found it. The stream. He heard it before he actually saw it. The sound of slowly flowing water. Then he saw the blue fresh water stream. It was slightly unnerving how it had appeared out of nowhere, and was the only coloured thing he could see in the darkness. And on the side of the river, there was a boat. A wooden boat, complete with a set of oars.
“Maybe you will be able to cross the stream, and wake up. I have tried, many, many times, but I am always unsuccessful. Be careful not to get lost, or you may end up not in the wrong place, but in the wrong time.”
“Do you think I can make it?” he asked.
“You never know if you don’t try.”
“Who are you, anyway? How did you get here?” he asked her as his spirit clambered into the boat.
“I came to be here in a similar way you did. No, I did not come through the veil, but I came because of a spell went awry. It’s what you think that makes you stay. You have the will to escape, while I do not. I am not a strong-willed person, and I fear I will be here for a long time yet.
The boat had started to float slowly down the stream. “And if you ever get lost, remember the name Monday Lovegood and you’ll find your way back.”
“Lovegood? Are you Luna’s mother?” Sirius shouted back at her as it got faster. He could hear wind in his ears, which confused him. How could there be wind if there was no air?
Monday sighed. “Luna was my daughter. I miss her every moment that goes by. But the reason I cannot escape is because I am scared of going back. I scared at how many things will have changed, what will happen to my family. That’s why I can’t leave. You, though, are strong spirited. And I don’t even know your name,” she only whispered, but somehow Sirius caught every word.
“I’M SIRIUS!” he shouted, “SIRIUS BLACK!”
“There is no need to shout. You and I are both everywhere. Even though in the rules of science, two things should not exist in the same space at the same time. But magic defies the laws of science everyday. So I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re about to leave, and when you leave I can no longer help you. You will be on your own.”
Sirius nodded, the water was getting much faster now, and the oars were quite unnecessary. “It was nice meeting you, Monday, maybe I’ll see you again,” he said looking at the darkness. She was everywhere.
He turned the corner, and was hit with colors. He saw colors. The grass was green, the sky was blue. The boat was brown…and most important of all…he had a body. He looked down and saw he was wearing his black robes. He examined one of his hands. It was there, and he flexed his fingers. His legs were bent underneath him and felt numb. He decided to stretch them out, so he stood up. Big mistake to make in a small boat.
The boat over turned, throwing Sirius headfirst into the clear blue water of the river. It was so cold against his skin he felt like it was on fire. He tried to surface for air, forgetting that there was no oxygen up there and he didn’t need it anyway. Except he couldn’t move. He could feel himself breathing in water…he was drowning! How could he die if he was already dead? His head swam as he inhaled more water. His limbs shuddered and he could feel himself stop breathing. He kept sinking, down and down and down. The water was deep. It was almost bottomless. In one last burst of energy, he closed his eyes. If this was the end, he didn’t want to see it. He closed his eyes for just one more sleep. Maybe Monday was right. Maybe he would wake up.
*****
“Uncy Padfoo’!” someone sitting on his stomach exclaimed. “Uncy Padfoo’, wake up!” he shouted, poking Sirius in the eye. This caused Sirius to gasp in pain and open both his eyes in surprise.
When he opened his eyes, he knew something was wrong. On his stomach sat a healthy fifteen-month old boy with very familiar messy jet-black hair, and unforgettable emerald green eyes. He was wearing a bib decorated in various baby foods.
He was looking into the eyes of a baby Harry James Potter. He had woken up alright. He had woken up in the wrong decade. And he sure wasn’t dead.