Life is But A Dream by Pondering
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
VII: Tampering With Time
Monday smiled belligerently at the Minister for Magic. In her hands she held a thick tome entitled: Time-Traveler Tales: A Collection of Paradoxes. Monday’s pale blue eyes glinted hostilely as she stared Lockhart down. Lily thought that she looked rather violent.
“Get out,” Monday spat, brandishing the heavy book. “I’m warning you.”
Lockhart looked mildly sympathetic as he unrolled the parchment he was carrying in the crook of his arm. “I have your papers here for your admission into St Mungo’s.”
Monday let out a low hiss. “You can’t do that.”
“Well, actually, I can. I am your husband, Monday—”
“Which I deeply regret,” Monday interjected.
“And I am quite concerned about your mental health and rightly so! I simply insist that you have a psychiatric evaluation done! I have even gone to the trouble of bringing these four fine Aurors with me to ensure that you do not overextend yourself too much!”
“I am perfectly fine and would be even more so if you just left me alone.”
Lily withdrew from the corridor, shaking her head. “I don’t know how long that will last,” she muttered. “I have to get out of here soon, but I can’t sneak through the front door when it is being blocked by four highly qualified Aurors and the Minister for Magic himself.” She sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Does this house have a back exit?” she asked Sirius.
“Dunno,” Sirius murmured.
Lily grimaced. “Stupid question, I know. You’ve only been awake a little while and have been confined to your bed the whole time apart from that short stint you did lying down on the floor. Can I climb out a window? How do I get out?”
“Big house,” grunted Sirius. He still didn’t have the energy to speak in full sentences.
“Yes, I am aware of the size of the house,” snapped Lily. “I don’t have the time to go through the masses of corridors looking for a door!”
“Apparate?” suggested Sirius.
Lily tapped a finger to her nose. “Now, why didn’t you think of that earlier?”
Sirius shrugged, but due to the stiffness of his limbs, it was unnoticeable.
Lily gripped her wand and closed her eyes. Sirius expected there to be a crack, the usual sound of Disapparation. But there was nothing.
Lily opened her eyes, sighing. “This place must be warded. I didn’t know. I took the bus most of the way here, because I’d never been here before.” She started crying again.
“Oh, Sirius, I have to get out! I can’t stand it anymore. I keep having images of Harry in my mind, images that scare me…he could be kidnapped or tortured and I wouldn’t know! I realise that I shouldn’t let these pictures run through my head…but I can’t stop them…I…I thought that you would be able to help me…but then I came here and you were so weak…and James is still unconscious…I…I…forgot what I was going to say,” breathed Lily. “I’m a horrible mother,” Lily admitted, shuddering.
“NO!” Sirius shouted louder than he thought his vocal chords would allow him to.
Sirius heard Lockhart’s voice from the hallway. “What are you doing to your guests, Monday? Why are they shouting? Is there something I should know about them?”
“No,” replied Monday, “They’re fine. All right, I agree that I have been acting differently lately, and I should be checked by a certified professional at St Mungo’s. Unfortunately, I have prior commitments to deal with this week, but should be available this day next week. Is that soon enough for you?”
“I don’t think that the terms are negotiable,” Lockhart began.
“Well then, I’ll come tomorrow. Just not today, I have to make sure that things are taken care of in my absence. Can we achieve a compromise like mature, responsible adults?”
“I guess,” Lockhart said hesitantly. “We shall leave now, but you will most definitely be coming in tomorrow, whether you like it or not. My Aurors will certainly make sure of that.” The door slammed.
Monday came into the room and let out a small sigh. “He’s more irritating than I ever believed possible. I wanted more time…there’s no way I can get everything done now.”
Lily glared at her. “Well, it’s lucky for you then that you have a veil in the Department of Mysteries, then, so you can ‘go back in time and get everything done’. What about me? What about Harry? Time is running out for us!”
Monday drew herself up to her full height, looking extremely exasperated. “How many times do I have to tell you that you cannot just simply tamper with time and hope that everything turns out all right? It’s rather like mixing a group of random ingredients together and hoping that it’ll turn into a cake!”
”I know the consequences!” Lily shouted. “I trained to be an Unspeakable, I know all this, and I know what will happen! I’ll risk it anyway, because it’s better than the alternative! Harry could be dead!”
“He might not be,” Monday pointed out.
“So, what am I meant to do?” Lily said snappily. “Just wait a few days until Death Eaters send me Harry’s pinky finger in the mail?” Tears streamed down her face now, she was not ashamed of them.
“Well, there’s always Time-Turners,” Monday suggested. “For one thing, it’s much easier to gain clearance to use them.”
“Time-Turners only go back so far though! I need more time! I need to save him!” Lily wailed.
Monday considered this, thinking slowly. “And how do you suppose you will gain entry to the Department of Mysteries?” she asked curiously.
“I…I” Lily stuttered, “You’d help me, that’s why!” All of a sudden, she pulled out her wand and pointed it at Monday.
“Mrs Potter, I have to warn you against making quick decisions. Are you sure you really want to do this?” Monday asked, staring apprehensively at Lily’s wand tip.
“Yes!” Lily shouted.
Monday set the book she was holding down on Sirius’s bedside table. “Have you read this book, Mrs Potter?”
Lily glanced at the title. “No. I haven’t.” Sirius swiveled slightly to get a better look at it.
Monday drew a breath. “If I am to let you go gallivanting around the passages of Time, you might as well be prepared. Those stories aren’t the usual ones covered in Unspeakable training. These ones,” she said, fingering the lettering of the title, “are real.”
“Oh, yeah?” Lily said defiantly. “How do you document something like time travel anyway? How can you be so sure if it’s real?”
“Well,” Monday said, a small smile flitting about her face, “One thing that can be said about time-travel is that it can certainly change your perceptions on reality. Look, Mrs Potter,” she said, laying an awkward hand on Lily’s shoulder, “I think it is too early to be panicking just yet.”
“But…” Lily stammered, wiping her eyes, “How will I know if he’s safe?”
Monday pondered this for a second, her finger scratching the side of her nose. “Well, you said he was looking for his father, didn’t you?”
Lily looked up at her, her eyes widening. “Yeah, I did.”
”Well, there’s no need to go looking for him, when he’s going to come looking for you.”
”I…I guess not. But what if he can’t find us? This place is very secluded. What if I don’t hear from him?”
Monday smiled sadly. “That is when you can start panicking.”
Lily swallowed, suddenly looking a lot paler than she did before. “Well, that’s reassuring, I’d hate to think—" She was interrupted by a loud pecking sound coming from the window. A handsome tawny owl was pecking madly against it, an envelope tied to its leg.
“Oh!” Monday exclaimed, moving towards the window and sliding it open. “The letter, it’s addressed to you, Mrs Potter.”
“How would someone know I was here?” Lily wondered. “Maybe it’s from Remus?”
Monday cast her eye at the envelope, shrugging nonchalantly. “Owls can be fairly smart. If the sender was close by, they’d be able to find you pretty quick.” She threw the parchment at Lily. Lily caught it deftly and in one quick motion, ripped it open.
If it was possible, Lily’s face grew even paler. “It…no…” She dropped the envelope and its contents onto the floor. She slumped onto Sirius’s bed, trembling head to toe. “I knew…I just knew…”
Monday frowned. “Knew what?” she asked, picking up the paper. Lily just shook her head, refusing to even speak. “What’s wrong?” Monday repeated.
Lily said nothing.
Monday, grim-lipped, read the note aloud. “We have your son. A photograph is enclosed as proof. We will avenge the death of the Dark Lord. There is nothing that can be done now.”
Sirius tried to decipher the meaning of these words. His brain was informing him of what they should mean, but he refused to believe what it was telling the truth. After what seemed like an eternity of shocked silence, he croaked, “Damn them!”
“Damn what?” asked a scratchy voice from the bed beside him. Sirius turned and saw James making the same struggling motions that he himself had made when he first had regained consciousness.
Lily, however, seemed not to have heard anything. “Nothing can be done? I’ll show them what can be done. They…they think that by capturing Harry…it will make things even?”
Monday licked her lips. “Are you completely sure you want to do this? You know if I’m caught aiding you, I’ll lose my job.”
Lily’s eyes looked frenzied. “You’re worried about your job? Well, I don’t give a damn about your job. Wouldn’t you go back to save your child?”
Monday looked as if she had been slapped. In a quiet voice, she whispered, “My daughter is dead.”
“Well, maybe it doesn’t matter to you!” Lily yelled. “It’s not as if she’s really your daughter, she’s just some alternate version you could care less about. It’s not the same for me!”
“My mother died trying to save someone by meddling in time. Someone she didn’t even know! Don’t you think that would teach me the consequences from meddling with time? Because things never get better, you know. Things just change.”
“Well, I don’t know about you,” Lily said slowly, “But I’d die to save my son.”
“You already have,” Sirius stated. His limbs felt more energetic than they all he did, he could feel adrenaline rushing through his body. His arms still wobbling slightly, he pushed himself into an upright seating position.
“I…what?” Lily asked, looking slightly disconcerted.
“You saved…saved our world.”
“Your world! Your world!” Lily shouted. “I don’t care about your world, this is the world I know. You may have had some crazy dream, but that doesn’t mean it was real. You took James to Peter’s, and that was the last time I saw him alive! It’s your fault!” Lily jumped to her feet, her hand clutching her wand tightly.
“I WAS RIGHT!” roared Sirius. He didn’t care if it would hurt his throat, he didn’t care about anything anymore. All he knew was that Harry had to be saved. His revival from death be damned, he would go back through that veil to save Harry. He leaped upright, but only made it two steps until he collapsed onto James’s bed. Sirius saw that his friend’s hazel eyes were open, but not fully comprehending.
“It…it’s not your fault, Sirius,” James said so quietly that Sirius almost didn’t hear him.
Lily’s attention was drawn to the two men. “James?” she asked.
“Lily?” James replied.
“James…I’m so sorry…I should have never let Harry run away, I should—“
“Shh, Lily, it’ll be okay. I’ll help you with whatever needs to be done.”
Monday’s eyes narrowed. “Can you walk?” she asked bluntly.
James’s brow furrowed in concentration. After a few moments, he replied regretfully, “I don’t think so. I can talk though.”
Monday looked at Sirius intensely. “You’re doing better than Sirius though, Mr Potter. You certainly reached the talking stage more rapidly.”
“I can help!” Sirius shouted. “I’m not just going to sit here and lay waiting for you two to go about saving the world.”
Monday drew in a sharp breath. “I am forbidding you to come. You would only be a hindrance.”
”You can’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” Sirius yelled. He jumped up again for another futile attempt at standing up. He fell back to his bed almost immediately. “I can help!” he repeated.
James looked at Sirius, and he found himself being drawn to his friend’s eyes. “She’s right, you know. We really can’t help.”
”That’s funny,” Sirius muttered sardonically, “I never thought you were the type to give up.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m…just being reasonable.”
”So…so you don’t care that Harry could be being beaten and tortured at the moment, do you? You don’t mind that Harry could be dead, do you?”
“No, no, don’t you dare say that!” James shouted. “It’s just that in my mind, Harry is still a little boy. It’s so hard to believe that I’m in the future now. I don’t even know what year it is, and I…” James seemed to be quickly running out of breath.
“Well, it’s 1996,” Monday supplied helpfully.
James inhaled deeply. “He’s sixteen then? In the space of a day my little boy has grown fifteen years…”
”He’s turning sixteen next month, actually,” Lily muttered, “Or would turn, I should really be saying…” Lily looked strangely blank. Turning to Monday, she asked, “How much time do we have?”
Monday blinked. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, we need to save Harry, don’t we? How much time do we have?”
“Well, technically, we’ll have all the time in the world, if we’re going into the past. I think we would do much better to write out a fully detailed plan of action before we rush into anything.”
Lily glared. “What good will a ‘detailed plan of action’ do? We’ll never know more, and I don’t want to sit around waiting, feeling helpless and useless, I want to do something now!”
“What about Sirius and James? They want to help. Shouldn’t you wait until they’re feeling better so they can assist us?”
“No, because I don’t know how long that will take, and I don’t want to have to mourn Harry’s death at all if I know there’s a chance I can save him!”
"That's true," Monday admitted. "There's always the possibility that if they travel back into the past with us that the timeline will have to recreate their bodies again. Theoretically, however, since it has already recreated them once in this future, I don’t think that it will happen again.”
“I certainly hope not,” Sirius snorted.
Monday turned to Lily. “You know that if we leave without them, they’ll probably follow us anyway?”
“She’s right. If she leaves with you, I’ll just fight my way into the Department of Mysteries, I’ve done it before,” said Sirius.
“Well, if they’re going to come anyway, can’t we just leave now?” Lily looked fidgety; her hands kept curling into fists. “Lockhart, sorry, I mean, your husband is going to admit you to St Mungo’s tomorrow, so we don’t have as much time as you’d like to.”
”Oh, right,” Monday said vaguely. “I forgot about that. I like to think about my ‘husband’ as little as possible. What about him?” Monday asked, pointing to the bed where Peter lay, peacefully sleeping.
Lily’s eyes lingered on the slumbering forming of Pettigrew and barely repelled a shudder. “No,” she said in a disgusted voice. “We are not waiting for him.”
Monday retrieved her cloak from one of the shiny coat hooks on the wall. “When we leave,” she said, looking straight at Sirius, “You will follow?”
”Yes,” Sirius said truthfully.
“Well, I suggest you get a rest first, and exercise your limbs a little bit before setting off. If you want to, you can even read some of the stories in the book.” She pointed at it.
“But—“ Sirius started.
“No buts. I will give you clearance to enter the Department of Mysteries, but I will not let it activate for a few hours.” Then she added thoughtfully, “I suppose that not many people will be there now that it is getting dark, but the clearance will make it easier to move about unhindered.”
She then turned to look at James. “You will be coming as well.”
Mutely, James nodded.
“Well, the same applies to you then.”
Lily gathered herself and retrieved her own cloak, putting it over the bright green jumper she was wearing. She fastened the clip. “I guess we’re going then,” she said, kissing James’s forehead and giving Sirius a brief hug.
Monday smiled ironically. “See you two last week,” she said in farewell as she headed out the door with Lily.