Chapter One
Severus Snape was in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. He was finally getting out of the place that had tortured him for seven years of his life; but he was also sad to be leaving it because he felt like Hogwarts was his home. It was sort of a refuge from his mother and father, who didn’t care much about him. Getting away from James Potter and Sirius Black had been somewhat of a stimulator for Snape to want to get the year over with, and being free from the constant taunting and teasing. He was tired of it.
Severus Snape was listening to McGonagall spill on about proper spells to use in transfiguration.
I already know all this, thought Snape to himself. This was the case on most of his classes, except for maybe History of Magic, which he didn’t really care much about anyway. He always let his thoughts wander, and they always seemed to mindlessly fall to the same thing: Lily Evans. He looked forward to classes with the Gryffindors just so he could see Lily Evans and her long deep red hair covering her face when she bent over to take notes. She never noticed him staring, as she was always very attentive in all the classes (one of the very few that was). But other people, who weren’t so attentive, like James and Sirius, noticed Snape staring at Lily for long periods of time. They gave him a hard time about it, “Keep on staring, that’ll be as close as you ever come to getting her, Snape,” they would say.
Snape came out of his reverie when a large, balled piece of parchment flew over and hit his head. He turned around to see James and Sirius laughing at him. They were motioning at him to open it, but he picked it up and threw it back. It was then when he heard Professor McGonagall’s voice, screeching from the front of the classroom.
“Throwing objects around in the classroom is not acceptable, Snape! This is your first and last warning. Next time points will be removed.”
Snape grimaced to himself, and turned back around in his desk, only to hear the sharp voice of McGonagall start back up again.
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That night at dinner, Snape was incessantly looking over to the Gryffindor table, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lily. When he did finally did catch a glimpse of her, it was obstructed by Avery’s (a fellow Slytherin) fat head. The two sat and talked for a while before finally everyone left the Great Hall to go up to their common rooms. More than ever Snape wanted to be somehow switched to Gryffindor so he could talk to Lily that night. He really felt for her, even though they really didn’t know each other that well. But the Gryffindor commone room held two other faces that Snape hated the most: James and Sirius. But as Lily’s face flashed through his mind, his thoughts changed once more.
Winter quickly engulfed Hogwarts in a pallid blanket of deep snow, and the students were looking forward to Christmas break. Snape on the other hand was excited about something else. Hogsmeade weekend was coming up, and he had a plan: he wanted to ask Lily Evans to go to the Three Broomsticks with him. At first, the idea seemed completely out of reach; but the more he though about it, the more feasible the plan became. He and Lily had a conversation for the first time ever in Potions the other day when they had been placed together as partners. It was a pleasant talk, counting out the fact had to pretend he didn’t enjoy his time with her because of the Slytherins watching. Snape was never good at talking to anyone; he preferred writing to express his sentiments. But with Lily he felt free to express himself.
The weekend approached quickly and Snape still hadn’t asked her. He had to make sure none of his friends were around when he did, or else they’d never let him live this down. The perfect time came one day after Potions. Lily had stayed behind to ask Professor Slughorn something, and Snape patiently waited at the door of the classroom for her.
“Lily,” said Snape as she walked through the door, barely noticing him.
She turned around in surprise and said, “Snape… um, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” said Snape shyly. “Er, I wanted to ask you… if maybe… this weekend at Hogsmeade, maybe… we could get together.” Snape couldn’t believe he had just asked her this.
“Oh,” said Lily, taken back, “I guess we could. Where were you thinking?”
“Um, how about the Three Broomsticks?” asked Snape.
“Slytherins usually don’t hang out there… are you sure?”
“Yeah,” said Snape, thinking of how humiliating it would be to be seen by a Slytherin. “That’s why I thought there. I would never be forgiven if a Slytherin caught me with a mud… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Snape Blushed.
“Oh, I understand,” said Lily warmly.
They started walking down the chilly corridor together, setting the exact time when they were to meet at the pub.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” said Lily, a bit awkwardly.
“Yeah,” said Snape, watching Lily run off to a group of Gryffindor girls who were giving Snape an odd stare. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. Ask Lily Evans out… no, It must have been a dream. But as the students started gathering around the Entrance Hall the next day, he realized it wasn’t a dream. As he shuffled his way through the crowd of students he spotted Lily and waved to her feebly.
In Hogsmeade, Snape had to make an excuse to his friends to leave the Hog’s Head at noon time. He told them he was going back up to the castle to read, which he had done many times before, so they took it as plausible reason to leave. As soon as he left, he quickly made his way over to the Three Broomsticks.
As he walked through the threshold, he immediately noticed Lily sitting at a table near the back, looking as beautiful as ever. As he made his way over he ignored the strange looks he recieved from the Gryffindors, and kept his mind on Lily.
“Hi,” he said breathlessly.
“Hi,” Lily replied. “Want a Butterbeer?” She handed him a warm bottle without waiting for an answer.
They sat and talked for a while talking. With the night going as planned, Snape was happy. That is until James and Sirius, came trotting into the pub like they owned the place. It took the two of them a minute to notice Snape and Lily, but when they did, hell broke loose.
“Well, well. Snape Finally got a date with his fantasy girl, did he?” spat Sirius. They both started laughing.
“What did you do, poison her? Give a love potion?” asked James. Snape opened his mouth to speak in fury, but before the words came out, a louder voice spoke up.
“No, he didn’t. As a matter of fact, Snape asked me to meet him here today, and I agreed to. That’s more than you can say, James Potter,” said Lily furiously. James said nothing to this, he only blushed a little.
Snape couldn’t have been more proud or more embarrassed. He was proud because of Lily standing up for him; embarrassed because of James and Sirius.
“So… looks like you got a girlfriend at last, Snivellus,” said James. But he wasn’t looking at Snape when he said this; he was looking straight at Lily. Snape drew his wand out.
“We’re just friends,” said Lily, as she pushed Snape’s wand down. Snape, reluctantly, put his want back in his robes.
“Thought you were going to Jinx me did you, Snivelly?” said James.
“I don’t need to think I am… I know I am,” said Snape, as he pulled his wand back out and pointed it at James. “Think your better than me, don’t you Potter.”
By now James had gotten to his feet as well, and pointed his wand back at Snape. Before Snape could react, James yelled, “Expelliarmus,” and Snape’s wand flew from his hand.
“Ha! Snivellus’ hand is too greasy to keep a grip of his wand,” Sirius said, sneering.
“STOP IT! Potter, put your wand down!” yelled Lily.
James tucked away his wand down and thrust Snape’s wand back his wand angrily. Sirius and James left the little pub hastily without saying another word.
“You really shouldn’t have got your wand back out, Snape. You’re lucky he didn’t jinx you,” remonstrated Lily, after the pub finally settled down.
“Yeah,” said Snape, “I really should get back to the castle now. See you later.”
Snape walked back to the castle alone, avoiding speaking to anyone. He was angry with Potter; angry with himself; he was just angry at everything. Nothing ever seemed to work out right for him. Now, more than ever, he wanted to leave Hogwarts behind, so he didn’t have to face the embarrassment from James and Sirius anymore. He was sick of them.
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Winter pressed on, and Valentines Day came to be at Hogwarts. It was something that Snape had not been looking forward to at all. Every year, he watched people exchange Valentines to the person they liked. And every year, Snape didn’t have enough guts to give Lily Evans a Valentine. He hadn’t spoken to Lily ever since the fight in the Three Broomsticks; they had said “Hi” a couple of times, but that was about it. Despite this fact, Snape was going to give Lily a gift this year. He didn’t have much money, so the Hogsmeade weekend before Valentines Day weekend, he got her a big box of Chocolate Frogs at Honeydukes.
Valentines Day came, and Hogwarts was decorated in what seemed like a mélange of pink and red. Little cupids were floating around, giving people their presents. Snape had been looking for Lily all day, but never saw her. Finally, right before dinner in the Great Hall, he spotted her walking with a group of friends. He immediately panicked and tucked away into a little alcove and hid behind the knight in armor as they passed by… but she wasn’t in the group anymore. He peeped around the armor to see that James Potter had pulled her from the group of giggly girls. The girls pretended to go around the corner, but they all stopped and looked around from behind it, watching James and Lily. Snape was puzzled; as far as he knew, Lily and James didn’t really like each other. He continued watching as James gave Lily a rectangular red velvet box. She looked a little surprised herself, as she opened and pulled out a beautiful scintillating silver locket. Snape looked down at his measly box of Chocolate Frogs and bit his lip to keep from shouting an unforgivable curse at James. The next thing Snape knew, he was watching the two of them snog passionately; the group of giggly girls started gilgging, and Snape was fuming with anger. Of course James liked the same girl he likes; and of course he got her. Why did Snape even try; why did he ever think that maybe, one day, Lily would love him as much as he loved her. It was a pipe dream.
Without even thinking what he was doing, Snape burst from behind the armor, knocking it over. The giggly girls suddenly screamed, and James and Lily broke away from each other. Snape threw the box of Chocolate Frogs at Lily and ran... he didn’t know where he was going… he just ran. Tears streamed down his face, it was the first time he remembered crying for years. He ran until he was outside on the Hogwarts cold, snow covered grounds. He stopped and looked over the frozen lake, and vowed to himself right then and there, that he would never, never love again. His heart was broken, and it would remain that way for a long time.