Harry rose early to pack the next day; the Hogwarts Express would be leaving an hour after the funeral. (HBP p. 639)
Wanting some time alone, Harry left Gryffindor Tower for breakfast without Ron and Hermione. He walked quietly through the corridors of the castle, wrapped up in his own thoughts of the past few days. He let his feet lead him wherever they would, not really thinking or caring where he ended up. He simply wanted to walk the hallways one last time on his own, because he knew that after the funeral he might not come back to Hogwarts.
The corridors were empty; soon the students would be coming down for breakfast, and Harry knew his peace would be over. His journey took him past the Great Hall, and he looked into its dark and silent places. His eyes were drawn to the empty chair on the front dias where Professor Dumbledore had sat, and he was struck by a vision of the headmaster, hands spread out in welcome on his first night in the castle. As he continued to stare at the headmaster’s chair, the words of the Hogwarts school song, silent for several dark years, floated through his head:
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something, please,
Whether we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot. (SS. p.128)
Harry thought about all he had learned at Hogwarts, and wondered if it would be enough for what he had to do now. He felt overwhelmed at times with the enormity of the situation: Dumbledore was gone, and he, Harry, still had four Horcruxes to find and destroy before Voldemort could be finally vanquished. And although a prophecy from long ago laid the burden on Harry, he had always thought that Dumbledore would be there to guide him.
With a sigh, Harry turned away from the Great Hall and climbed the staircase. He soon found himself walking along the corridor that would take him to Professor Dumbledore’s office. ‘Headmistress McGonagall’s office’, he reminded himself. Of all the teachers at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall was the most qualified to run the school; she had stepped in for Dumbledore during Harry’s second year, and had proved herself to be both a strong teacher and fair leader. She was also a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry felt it was important that the Order maintain a presence at the school. ‘If it reopens,’ he thought, knowing there was a strong chance that the school would close, given that its headmaster had been murdered by one of his own professors. Even though he had already made up his mind about returning, the thought of other students not being able to complete their magical education because of Snape’s treacherous actions filled Harry with a slow anger; and once again he vowed that he would catch up with his former Potions professor sometime on his journey to vanquish Voldemort.
Harry soon found himself walking down the seventh floor corridor where he had first found the Room of Requirement. He stopped outside the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy where the doorway appeared for the secret room. Harry frowned, remembering the last time he had been here. He had just used the Sectumsempra curse on Draco Malfoy, and he had been looking for somewhere to hide the potions book the Half-Blood Prince had written in. A room of hidden treasures had magically appeared and Harry had hidden the book inside to avoid giving it to Snape. It was the same room Draco Malfoy had then used to sneak Death Eaters into Hogwarts the night Dumbledore died; if Harry had only been paying better attention, he thought he might have figured it out, somehow stopped him. . .
But he shook his head, knowing that he could never have guessed that Malfoy was using a Vanishing Cabinet from the Room of Requirement, connected to a second cabinet in Borgin and Burkes, to bring in Death Eaters into a supposedly impenetrable castle. He had done the best he could, asking Ron, Hermione, and Ginny to stand guard and arming them with his Felix Felicis. Draco may have still snuck past them, but Harry was sure that their readiness had saved the school, and that the lucky potion had saved their lives, during the ensuing battle. He felt responsible for far worse mistakes that night, mistakes he did not want to dwell on.
Standing there thinking about the room, and that fateful night, Harry was not surprised when the door appeared before him. He hesitated, wondering and dreading what he would find. Nevertheless, he opened the door and stepped inside. “Lumos,” he said, lighting his wand and illuminating the room. The large cathedral-like room was exactly the same as the day he had hid his book, except for one thing: Harry noticed immediately that the large Vanishing Cabinet was gone, no doubt removed or even destroyed after the horrible events it had initiated.
Harry remembered exactly where he had left his potions book, and his feet took him there automatically. He walked down rows of old, hidden treasures, and wondered how they had gotten there. Soon he came to a large cabinet, on top of which was a bust of old warlock wearing a wig and a tiara. He had thrown his book in there, and marked it to remember where. But as Harry stood there, staring at the cabinet, he wondered what had brought him back to the room to retrieve the book.
Snape was the Half-Blood Prince. Snape, who had pledged loyalty to Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix, who had betrayed them all and murdered the headmaster in cold blood. It had been Snape’s notes that had been guiding him in Potions all year, Snape’s scribblings that had taught him the Levicorpus spell and the horrible Sectumsempra curse. Why was he coming back for a book from Snape?
Harry felt betrayed all over again just thinking about his former professor; and he felt angry with both Snape, and with Dumbledore for trusting Snape. He also felt ashamed for putting so much faith in a book that had turned out to be written by his worst enemy. He remembered what Arthur Weasley had said to Ginny during his second year, when she had trusted a book and ended up ensnared by Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets. And yet after all that, he had kept the potions book, trusted the Prince, and used it. He had even defended him to Hermione, who had warned him over and over about the Prince and his book. And she had been right, like she usually was about such things.
Harry raised his hand to open the cabinet, but let it fall. If he retrieved the book, wouldn’t it be like he was betraying Dumbledore? How could he use something that had been written by a traitor like Snape? Wouldn’t that make him little better?
But, argued another small part of him, didn’t he need all the help he could muster in order to find and destroy Voldemort’s Horcruxes? What if there was something “ even Dark Magic - in the book that would somehow help Harry in his final battle to destroy the Darkest wizard the world had seen?
The first part of him remembered something Professor Binns had said during his second year: that just because a wizard knew Dark Magic, did not mean they had to use it. There was little doubt in Harry’s mind that Dumbledore knew Dark Magic; yet in all his time with him, Harry had indeed never known the late headmaster to use Dark Magic against Voldemort.
At that moment, Harry decided he would not use it either, no matter the cost. He had seen what Dark Magic did to a man’s soul as he watched Tom Riddle slowly evolve into Voldemort in the Pensieve; he would not do that to himself. And hadn’t Dumbledore told him that the power of a pure soul was stronger? Harry knew he would need all of the strength he could muster to battle Voldemort.
Harry turned his back on the cabinet and slowly made his way toward the door. He was still unsure of his decision to leave the book behind. Just before he reached the doorway, his eyes caught a glimpse of something tall and white and skinny “ and definitely out of place. Harry forgot about the potions book as he walked behind a large pile of broken chairs, where to his amazement he found a set of ten bowling pins, complete with a pair of shiny purple bowling shoes and a golden ball that looked more magical than marble.
It was so Muggle-like that for some reason, Harry picked up the ball, fascinated. What in the world was something so normal doing in a crowded and dusty storage room of the very magical Hogwarts Castle? He turned the ball around in his hand, until an engraving caught his eye. A set of initials was carved into the ball:
A.P.W.B.D.
Harry had had quite enough of initials and nicknames, yet he couldn’t help but smile at these. Looking down at the shiny purple shoes, he started laughing. Of course - it was the first Chocolate Frog Card he had ever received:
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE:
Currently Head master of Hogwarts.
Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling. (SS p.103)
Soon Harry was laughing loudly and tears were forming in his eyes. He could only imagine what had possessed the headmaster to hide his hobby away in this room. The thought of the professor playing such a game “ in a pair of purple shoes, no less - soon had him almost rolling with mirth on the floor.
Catching his breath, Harry grinned to himself as he began to clear a space in the room with his wand. He set up the pins, and balancing precariously on a broken chair he tied on the purple shoes. Hoisting the ball up with two hands (he had never actually done this before) Harry let it roll toward the ten pins. It rolled slow but straight, and to his surprise they all fell over. He couldn’t help but punch the air with his fist, laughing again.
For a moment he imagined that Professor Dumbledore was standing behind him, laughing with him. He pictured the Headmaster’s crooked nose and twinkling eyes, watching him through his half-moon spectacles. But Harry knew that it was only his own wishful thinking; he had learned the hard way last year that death was final. Still, he was glad for this chance to connect to something Dumbledore had enjoyed. It somehow lightened the sorrow that Harry knew would come crashing down later that morning at the headmaster’s funeral.
Harry waved his wand and returned the pins and other hidden treasures back to their places. But the shoes he kept. Picking up his trainers, he headed back toward the door. He no longer felt any remorse about leaving behind his potions book. He had come in for one thing, but had left with quite another. Looking back, Harry simply said, “Thanks Professor,” and left the Room of Requirement.
* * *
A/N: Many thanks once again to my beta reader, ginnyweasley718! I had a few more questions on this story and she really helped answer them! She was also very supportive through the submission process “ thank you!! And a second thank you to Julie, who helped reaffirm my faith in the piece with her kind words.
I don’t know whether Harry went back for his book before he left Hogwarts at the end of HBP, or if he will try to get it back sometime during the seventh book, so this isn’t exactly a missing moment but more of a speculative moment. I hope you enjoy following Harry as he takes his last walk around Hogwarts and experiences an unusual, yet poignant, connection to Professor Dumbledore. I have enjoyed your feedback on my other pieces and always appreciate more!