Around midnight on Christmas Eve, Harry was awoken by the ringing of bells.
"What the hell?" Harry thought.
He got out of bed, grabbed his wand, put on his glasses, and quietly walked down the steps and into the common room. He reached towards the portrait, ready to push it open when it opened by itself. He stood there with his wand raised, ready for anything to happen. A man with a white beard, a red suit, black boots, and quite a large stomach stepped in through the portrait and into the room.
"Why hello there, Harry. What're you doing up at this hour?" asked the man.
"Who are you?" Harry asked, his wand still raised, "How do you know my name?"
"Why, I'm Santa Claus. I know everyone's name." Santa Claus. That name seemed familliar. But why? "Don't tell me you don't know anything about me."
"I'm sorry to say but I don't know anything about you."
"Well, I go around the world on Christmas Eve giving good little children gifts. I even have my own song!" *Starts to sing* "You better not pout, you better not cry. Better not shout I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town. He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. H-"
"That song is sooo lame. If I were you I would totally lay off the twinkies. I'm surprised you need that belt!" Harry then poked Santa in the stomach. "You're no wizard but you're not a muggle either. How the did you get into Hogwarts? Is Dumbledore in on this?"
"You better be nice little boy or you'll end up on the naughty list."
"You still didn't answer my questions. How did you get into Hogwarts?"
"I came through the chimney," replied Santa as if this was how everyone entered a building.
"You're so fat I'm surprised you fit in the chimney. I'm shocked that you didn't get stuck! Like I said before, lay off the twinkies."
"No, I despise twinkies. I prefer cookies. And for that you just got your name on the naughty list."
"Oooh! The naughty list! I'm scared now! What're you gonna do? Spank me?"
"No, while the rest of your friends get toys, you get coal! Muhahahahahaha! Scared yet?"
"Not exactly...."
Suddenly, both turned to look at the staircase. Neville had just entered the common room due to the noise. He looked tired and a bit perplexed.
"Whatsamatter?" he could barely be heard. He looked up and literally lit up like a lightbulb when he spotted Santa. "Santa! Did you bring it? Huh! Huh! Did you?"
"Now here's a true believer. Why, hello Neville. Here you go." Santa handed Neville an interesting looking package. Neville squealed with delight and began tearing off the wrapping paper. Once he had finished that, a plant was revealed. As soon as Harry had seen it he knew what it was. The plant was a mandrake.
"Thank you Santa." Neville ran up and gave him a hug. He then turned on his heel and raced back into his dorm. Harry stood there looking very confused.
"So...Neville knows who you are. But how?"
"Everyone knows who I am. 'Cause I'm Santa Claus." Santa snapped his fingers and disappeared.
"But no one can apparate or disapparate in Hogwarts. It says so in Hogwarts a History." Harry suddenly realized how much he sounded like Hermione. He shook his head and headed back to the boys' dorm. Once he arrived, he noticed presents at the end of everyone's bed, except his. The only object at the end of his bed was a lump of coal with a card. He picked up the coal and the card and began to read:
Dear Harry,
All you have to do is believe. And the next time you feel like dissin' Santa, you better have a pretty damn good reason. Maybe next year you'll stay on the nice list.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
(P.S. That's not coal. Comet had an accident earlier and we ran out of coal trying to keep the Polar Express running. It seemed like a pretty good substitute.)
Harry threw down the "coal" that he was holding and stared at the letter with a look of disgust.
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(AN: I hope you liked the story. It's just in time for Christmas! Please review!)