- The way this boy was talking... it made it seem as if every single one of his worst nightmares were going to come true. -
The last words Larry had said as he left the Hospital Wing left Remus very confused and extremely nervous. He didn’t like the way it sounded. There was something behind it, but what that was, Remus couldn’t tell. What he knew for sure was he wanted to avoid this student at all costs. Wilkins was up to something, Remus could tell. He just wished he knew what it was. All he did know was that it wasn’t good, whatever it was.
Remus didn’t like this. He had actually been friends with Wilkins at the beginning of the year. Ever since the Quidditch match, things had changed for the worse. He hated this. He had one friend, and now he had lost him. Now, his former friend was up to something that could be dangerous. Of course, Remus tried to tell himself he was overreacting. He tried to convince himself that he wasn’t thinking straight, as it was right after a full moon.
What he really wanted to know, was why Wilkins was so interested in Remus accidentally killing himself or his brother? Wouldn’t he be more interested in the fact that Remus was a werewolf? If he wasn’t interested then he could least be frightened like everyone else. Wilkins had an unnatural interest in Remus, and it was unnerving. Now that he had found this out, he was spending every spare moment trying to weasel more information out of Remus. Remus didn’t like it. Wilkins was going out of his way to question him about this. It just wasn’t normal.
The only thing Remus gained from Wilkins’s endless questions was finding out how Wilkins knew where he had gone at Hogsmeade. Apparently, Wilkins had seen Remus making his way towards the Shrieking Shack. His curiosity got the better of him, naturally, and he followed. He saw Remus enter the house and decided to wait until he came out. When he didn’t come out and started to transform, his screams of pain piercing the night, Wilkins had hurried over to the window. Managing to peer through a large crack in the boards that were meant to block the windows, he saw Remus as a werewolf. He waited until morning to inspect the Shack and found Remus as a bloody mess. He only managed to narrowly escape when he saw Madame Pomfrey coming.
Remus had to admit, it took a lot of nerve to do what Wilkins had done. Not many people would brave a night near the Shrieking Shack, especially when most considered it to be haunted. Nerve, however, was just one way to describe it. Remus also considered it foolish, stupid, and downright meddling. He couldn’t help but be worried about what Wilkins might do; he had the worst kind of ammunition against Remus.
“Remus, what’s up?” Remus looked up from his seat in the library, expecting to see Wilkins making his way towards the table. It wasn’t him, however, it was Blake. Remus smiled slightly. He hadn’t talked to Blake since their Hogsmeade trip a few weeks ago. Remus had purposely been avoiding his brother after he heard the arguement between Blake and Billy. If he was annoying his brother’s friend and jeopardizing their friendship, he wanted to stop it as quickly as possible.
Blake took a seat and looked at the book Remus was reading. “Checking up on Grindylows?”
Remus nodded. Professor Hanks had warned them that they would be studying them in their next lesson. There would be dire consequences if they did not have a solid background. Since Remus knew next to nothing about Grindylows, he had been studying them furiously so he could avoid another one of his professor’s mood swings.
“I haven’t seen you lately, not even in the common room,” Blake continued. Remus shifted in his seat and shrugged. “Remus, I know you heard that arguement between me and Billy. You’re not taking that seriously, are you?”
“I dunno… he had a good point,” Remus muttered. “I should have my own friends instead of hanging around yours. I don’t care if you’re the one who asks me to,” he said promptly as Blake opened his mouth. “I need to find my own friends.”
“What about that Wilkins kid?” Blake asked hesitantly. It was well known that Blake didn’t like Wilkins, for the simple reason that he was far too interested in that Quidditch match. The corner of Remus’s mouth twitched. How was he supposed to tell his brother that Wilkins had discovered his secret? Remus had tried so hard to keep it from everyone and it was found out just like that. “Don’t you talk to him?”
“He talks to me, yeah,” Remus agreed. “But I don’t want him around.”
This confused Blake. Why would Remus reject a friend, even if they were from Slytherin? He wasn’t that prejudiced. “Why?”
Remus struggled with his words. As he glanced around, he saw that the library was far too crowded to actually come out and say it. “He knows something he shouldn’t know.”
Blake blanched upon hearing this. This wasn’t happening. This kid couldn’t possibly know. “Remus, how the hell did this kid find out?” he whispered furiously.
“He saw me going to the Shrieking Shack. He was there when my transformation was over... he saw me!” Blake was beside himself with fury, causing Remus to recoil slightly in his chair. “I didn’t see him when I was going in. When I looked around, there was no one there, and there’s nowhere to hide over there.”
“Remus, how the hell did you let him find out?” Blake yelled, jumping out of his seat, causing Madam Pince to threaten him. He completely ignored the many occupants of the library who had now turned to stare.
Remus gestured for his brother to sit back down and to lower his voice.
“I didn’t let him find out,” Remus hissed. “He was just being nosey.”
“Don’t you know what could happen now that he knows? Remus, he’s friends with Snape!”
“Yes, I know what could happen! Trust me; if anyone knows how bad things could get, it’s me! But I warned him not to tell, and he said he didn’t want to ruin my life like that.” He almost considered telling Blake the way Wilkins had said it, that he had said it in such a way that it made Remus scared to even think of what it meant. From the way Blake was acting at the moment, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to divulge that information.
“Remus, he could be lying!” Blake argued, his voice rising again.
“He’s not lying, honestly!” Remus stood up, picked up the book he was reading, and turned back to his brother. “Look, you’re angrier about this than you should be. If anyone has the right to worry… just forget it.” He quickly turned around to check the book out and left the library before his brother could stop him. As he was walking down the Entrance Hall steps he heard a voice calling for him to stop. He knew that voice and he was in no mood to be interrogated endlessly about his lycanthropy. He already had to be yelled at by his brother about this kid. No sooner would he be receiving a Howler from his parents about it. His parents loved him very much, but they were as strict about his secret as he, himself, was.
No matter how fast Remus walked, Wilkins wasn’t giving up. He ran towards Remus, nearly knocking him off the stairs.
“Can I help you?” Remus said exasperatedly.
“I’m not going to bother you about that,” Wilkins said quickly.
Remus raised his eyebrow at him, he strongly doubted it. “Then what do you want with me?”
“I just want to talk. You know, we were pretty good friends at the beginning of the year.”
“Yeah, we were. That was before the stupid Quidditch match, and you kept bothering me about it. You know I don’t like to talk about all the bad stuff that happens to me.”
They were out on the very cold grounds now. Since it was mid November, they were getting bouts of snow. Their most recent snowfall had covered the grounds in two feet of the white powder. Remus liked going out in the snow. He wouldn’t participate in the many snowball fights that took place, but he enjoyed watching them. At the present moment, there was not a soul out on the ground, save for himself, and Wilkins. He could also see Fang the boarhound sleeping in the frozen pumpkin patch.
Remus had hoped that he could shake off Wilkins once he was outside, but to his misfortune, this seemed to only make Wilkins more intent on following him. Remus had an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, something wasn’t right. He felt as if he was reliving every horrible event in his life. The feeling was so strong it was almost painful. He rubbed a spot right about his left eye and trekked on, thinking that, if he showed signs that he wasn’t going inside soon, Wilkins would lose interest in talking. That was false wishing on his part, because Wilkins did not lose interest.
Getting disgusted with the boy, Remus turned on his and glared at him straight in the eye.
“What do you want from me?” he snapped, throwing the book he had been holding on the ground.
Wilkins grinned and took a step forward. “I want to know something. What would happen if you were really vicious as a werewolf and attacked yourself like you were another werewolf? Would you kill yourself? That’s your worst nightmare, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about? Can’t you just leave me alone?”
Remus hated to admit it, but he was getting scared. The way this boy was talking. It made it seem as if every single one of his worst nightmares was going to come true. Wilkins’s grin was growing wider as he continued stepping forward, closing the gap between he and Remus.
Unless Remus’s eyes were cheating him, he could swear the boy’s eyes had flashed gold for a moment… a strange, werewolf-like gold.
“That’s what would probably happen, right?” Wilkins continued. “You would hate that, wouldn’t you? Not only because you’d be dead, but it would destroy your family.”
“Leave me alone,” Remus said, nearly in a pleading tone. This was wrong. This wasn’t the kid Remus had met in Gringotts. This wasn’t the boy he had been friends with at the beginning of the school year. Maybe Wilkins was finally showing his true colours? Maybe he was finally revealing to Remus the reason why he had been sorted into Slytherin. Whatever the reason was, Remus wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, something bad was going to happen.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Wilkins said, his voice sounding as if he savored every moment that Remus was in a panic.
“What “ who are you?” Remus said at last.
Wilkins’s smile turned into a fanged one, his eyes had definitely flashed gold, and remained that way. He closed the gap between him and Remus and said slowly, “Me? I’m your worst nightmare.”
Sirius, James and Peter had been debating for at least an hour about having a snowball fight out on the grounds. Sirius was all for it, having a strong need to relieve himself of all of the energy he had bottled up as he studied for their Transfiguration exam. He didn’t care if it was nearly below zero outside; he just wanted to have fun. James was also for a snowball fight, but he just wanted to wait until it got a little warmer outside. He had only just gotten over the flu and didn’t want to bring it back full force. Peter, on the other hand, was stating that a snowball fight wouldn’t be fun with only three people; it would be too easy for one of them to win.
In the end, Sirius won the debate, only by jumping on James’s back. He gave James a noogie until he pleaded for him to stop. Then Sirius pointed out that it was two against one, so Peter had no choice but to join him and have fun. They made their way out onto the grounds (only after Sirius threw two coats at his friends) and scouted out the area with the most snow. As they were nearing the lake, James could swear he saw a large animal running into the Forbidden Forest. At first he thought it was merely Fang breaking free of his leash and trying to give Hagrid a problem. He soon realised that Fang was still asleep beside his owner’s hut.
He shrugged the thought out of his mind and continued on his search. They went on further and found a nice spot near the Whomping Willow. Sirius announced that they would each have five minutes to make their snowballs. Then they would have another five minutes to get as far away from each other as possible. At the end of the first five minutes they each had a considerably large pile of snowballs. As the boys backed away to make their first shot, Peter began to notice something odd. The snow was red where he was standing. Curious, he forgot all about the fight and went to investigate.
“Oh, Merlin… James! Sirius!”
James and Sirius dropped their snowballs upon hearing Peter’s shout and sprinted over, nearly knocking their friend backwards. There something was wrong with Peter. He was staring at the ground, shaking; his face was pale.
“Peter, what’s wrong? What happened to you?” Sirius asked nervously, looking his friend over for some sign of illness. Peter shook his head and pointed to what he was looking at.
On the ground, surrounded by a puddle of blood, was Remus Lupin. His whole body was mangled in such a way that it looked like he was dead; but, as James knelt down and placed two of his fingers on Remus’s neck, he felt a faint pulse.
“How did he end up like this?” James wondered, looking him over. Sirius and Peter didn’t respond; they simply stared at his various wounds. Remus had three large gashes going down the right side of his face. His nose was spouting blood that mixed with the stream that was coming out from under his hairline. The sleeves of his robes were torn beyond repair, and his arms had dozens of bites over them that were bleeding freely onto the snow. The wounds looked so horrible that they had no idea how he could still be alive.
“James,” Sirius said, slowly turning to his friend. “Go inside now; get Madam Pomfrey, or someone!”
James didn’t need telling twice. He swiveled around and did a mad dash towards the castle. The second he skidded into the Entrance Hall, he saw one person who needed to hear the news.
“Blake!” he called out frantically, hurrying up to catch the sixth year.
Blake turned around and looked at the panicked James inquiringly.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Your brother! Something… something attacked him out on the grounds!” James explained frantically.
The colour in Blake’s face drained when he heard this, and he broke into a run towards the doors.
“Where on the grounds?” he asked James, who was struggling to keep up.
“He’s near the Whomping Willow. But it wasn’t the Willow; there were too many bites on him.”
“Merlin…,” Blake moaned, skidding to a halt and placing his face in his hand. “How could this happen? I was talking to him not even an hour ago.” He squinted out over the grounds and spotted Sirius and Peter standing over Remus. They seemed to be talking very swiftly. Blake turned to James and in a very firm, yet frightened, voice instructed him to get Madam Pomfrey and bring her down to the grounds. James listened without hesitation. Within moments the nurse was bringing the unconscious form of Remus up to the Hospital Wing.
The boys weren’t allowed in as she did her best to fully heal Remus, so they waited outside, occasionally peering through the window in the door. It was useless though, Madam Pomfrey had him in a corner where no one could see him.
“Oh, how did this happen,” Blake said miserably, glancing over his shoulder into the Hospital Wing.
“It’s not even a full moon,” James said lazily, then mentally slapping himself.
Blake slowly looked up at the third year, shaking his head disbelievingly.
“How many people know, for Merlin’s sake!” he yelled, only to have the nurse scold him from inside the infirmary.
“Only us!” Sirius explained. “It’s pretty obvious if you share a dormitory with him for three years.”
“But you haven’t told anyone, have you?” Blake asked; anger clearly evident in his voice.
“No, we’re not stupid. We wouldn’t do that to him.”
“Well, if you wouldn’t tell anyone, why didn’t you tell him you knew?”
“Because we didn’t know if he would trust us,” Peter said. “He hasn’t told anyone else; he doesn’t trust anyone.”
“Well, you can’t exactly blame him,” Blake said, looking into the ward once more, still unable to see if his brother was okay. “When he was little he didn’t think there was anything wrong with other people knowing. Then when they found out, they abandoned him. He was scared of that happening to him here, so he never told anyone.” He turned around and kicked the door. “Come on, Madam Pomfrey!” he snapped. “It’s not like it did any good! That moron of a Slytherin knows, and that’s probably why he’s in there, nearly dead!”
James, Sirius and Peter looked at each other. Someone else knew? Remus definitely hadn’t meant them to find out, judging by the way his brother was acting. They suddenly felt like they shouldn’t be there. This was a family matter and they were intruding. As soon as they went to leave, they were stopped.
“Do you care?” Blake asked; his voice becoming calmer. “That he’s a werewolf?”
“No,” James said sincerely. “We’ve known this for a long time and we don’t care. He’s a werewolf for one night out of a month, but he’s just Remus Lupin for the rest of the time.”
“Then tell him you know, tell him you don’t care. Please, you guys can help him. There’s only so much I can do.”
“Lupin, you can come in now,” Madam Pomfrey said through a crack in the door. She stuck her head further through the crack and said that James, Sirius and Peter could come in later, if they wanted.
The three boys nodded and returned to Gryffindor Tower, though rather reluctantly. They wanted to do what Blake told them to do; they wanted to let Remus know that they didn’t care; that he could trust them. That was why James was always so hard on Remus. James wanted friends who he could trust. He wasn’t about to befriend someone who couldn’t trust him. They could change that, though, if they tried. They’d just have to wait.
Remus was barely awake when Blake sat down beside his bed. The potions hadn’t taken their effect yet, as Remus was still in significant pain. The right side of his face was covered in a purple substance to heal the gashes that were there. His right arm was bound in a sling; his left arm and legs were bandaged heavily, as well as his torso.
“How are you, Remus?” Blake asked quietly.
“Fine. Madam Pomfrey says I’m going to be okay,” Remus answered in a small, pain-filled voice.
The corner of Blake’s mouth twitched. He hated seeing his brother like this. So many bad things had happened in his life already, why did he have to add this to the list? “Remus, what happened?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember anything that happened after I talked to you in the library.”
“You don’t know if you met someone else between the library and the grounds?”
“I didn’t even know I was on the grounds.” He inhaled sharply and scrunched his face in pain.
“Remus?”
“I’m fine, it just hurts a bit.” He tried smiling, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Don’t start yelling or anything. Madam Pomfrey’ll kick you out if you do.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t.”
They sat in silence for a long time, Blake not sure of what to say, and Remus in too much pain to speak. The door to the ward opened about a half an hour later and James, Sirius and Peter walked quietly inside. They looked extremely anxious, like they were unsure of what to say.
Blake looked up at them with an expression that clearly asked if they had thought about what he had said. They nodded at him; they had spent all their time in the common room discussing it. They had come to a decision.
Blake stood up, gave his brother an encouraging nod, and left the ward.
“Remus, we need to tell you something,” Sirius said. Remus sat up a little to signal he was listening. “We know you’re a werewolf.”
Remus’ eyes widened at an alarming rate, three more people knew? This was getting to be too much for him to handle. How was this happening? No one was supposed to know and now four people did.
“We haven’t told anyone,” James added, sensing that Remus was starting to panic. “We just wanted to tell you that we don’t care if you are. It doesn’t change anything about you.”
“Yeah, you’re still human ninety percent of the time,” Peter said.
“Was that why you never bothered to talk to me, or you just yelled at me when you did?” Remus asked quietly.
“Yeah, it was,” James admitted. “We didn’t find out until our second year, but first year we knew something was up with you. We didn’t like that you wouldn’t trust anyone with whatever it was. And if you don’t trust us now with it, I guess we’ll understand.” They turned to leave, thinking that nothing was going to change, but Remus stopped them. They had known all along that something was wrong with him; they hadn’t told anyone, and they didn’t care either. Maybe he could really rely on them with this. After all, their friendship was based on trust.
“I do,” he said. “I trust you. You guys would never do anything to betray each other so… I guess you wouldn’t betray me with this.”
“And we wouldn’t.”