He stared deep into her eyes, the first time he had done so since they had broken up. He muttered an apology, and inquired as to how she was. Although her reply was ‘fine’, he could see it in her face; she was anything but okay.
The same as me, thought Harry, except she hasn’t got Voldemort coming after her…she might have done if I hadn’t broken up with her…I did the right thing…
He thought it almost as a question, reassuring himself rather than actually believing it was true. Rather than drawing comfort from this, he felt a dull ache in his heart, knowing he wasn’t with her. He wondered whether she felt the same…he thought she did; hadn’t Hermione told him she was upset?
Ginny seemed to know he was thinking (or making himself think) he had made the right decision. And how she felt.
“He’s probably coming after me anyway Harry. And Ron and Hermione. I know you feel you have to do this, but I also know you don’t want to.” Harry didn’t hear her add: “I don’t want to either.”
She looked at him, deep into his green eyes, as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes. His common sense was succeeded by his want for her to be safe. When she got no reply to the statement both knew was right, she carried on: “I’m not trying to make this harder. But I doubt me saying this will make this easier…” She took a deep breath, as though steeling herself, forcing herself, to say what she said next: “Harry, I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this! When I remember…after the Quidditch final…before my O.W.L.s…Harry, I feel like saying I won’t do this. I’m only doing it because if one person wants you to break up, then you break up. I want- I want- I don’t know what I want. Sometimes I get so confused…Vold-Voldemo- he could…[she faltered] then we won’t be together, ever! So I ask, why? And this gets harder everyday! And it hurts just a bit more each day…”
Harry was reeling. Ginny’s eyes were suspiciously bright; Harry knew that her definition of ‘making this harder’ would be to cry in front of him. He knew she was barely able to hold the tears in. That, for Harry, made it worse. She was trying to make it easier for him…he knew he had broken her heart. Breaking up with Ginny had broken both their hearts. Although the last bit of hope he had that it was protecting her faded away, he didn’t register that. On the contrary, he subconsciously felt he needed to protect her more. But she wasn’t this unhappy when she and Dean broke up…or her and Michael…he couldn’t remember her being like this over any boyfriend…
“I don’t need protecting Harry. I’d be in danger anyway. I- I-”
As though afraid she couldn’t hold tears in any longer, she turned into her room, and closed the door, not harshly or loudly, but with a soft click. He heard a quiet sob as it closed. He felt like sobbing himself. He didn’t hear her finish her sentence behind the door: “And I love you…”
This was worse than any argument. Harry felt as though he had tears streaming down his face, although none came; he felt as if his heart had been ripped out. He stood there, pale and shocked. He didn’t go to the bathroom as he originally intended. He sat on his camp bed in Ron’s room, beyond any tempers, tears, tantrums. Why did he have to feel this way about her? Why did it have to happen to him? Not only could he not be with Ginny, he had the whole world’s bloody fate resting on his shoulders! He was grieving! And what was it she was going to say, before she left? She never finished.
He couldn’t take it anymore; even Harry Potter has a breaking point. He wanted to scream and shout, his temperamental side returning hurriedly. He lay down, to think, and unintentionally slept; a sleep that did nothing for his worries just then …a sleep that only reminded him of how he was the one who broke them up.
***
“Where is she?”
No answer.
“I said, where is she?”
No answer.
“Ginny?”
Silence.
“GINNY? Don’t be dead…please don’t be dead!”
“Hello Potter! Cottoned on yet?”
“But…I wasn’t with her! She should have been protected! NO!”
High, cold, cruel laughter.
A green flash of light; awakening the sight of a cold, dark graveyard…with Ginny’s headstone a few mere yards away…
Everything goes black.
Silence once more.
***
Harry woke up in a cold sweat to find a mane of bushy brown hair and a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Harry? What happened? You were talking…you kept asking for Ginny…” Hermione decided not to delve further if Harry replied in the negative.
“I...when I…when I came upstairs…bathroom…met Ginny. Dreamt…Voldemort teasing…dumped her…Voldemort…green light…Ginny…”
Hermione seemingly understood this.
“Harry, what happened when you met her?”
“She…I…bumped into her. I bumped into her,” Harry was becoming more able to speak coherently, “She told me…she told me that…It- She told me that this gets harder everyday…that she didn’t want this…but at the same time, she was angry with me, I could tell. She didn’t need to say she was angry. She said…she almost said something…don’t know what…” Harry’s speech grew more understandable.
In his mind, Harry puzzled over his ‘meeting’ with Ginny. Why had she left it hanging? Why-
An ache grew in his temples as always after a nightmare. He rubbed his head, trying to make sense of what had happened.
Hermione passed him his glasses and a glass of water.
“Harry…you’re not going to like this, but I doubt you’d find anyone that thinks it’s completely a good idea.”
“But...I-“ he spluttered.
“Harry, think about it. You want to be with her; she wants to be with you…”
“Bu-“
“And even if you’re apart, you’ll still have the feelings for each other. So Voldemort could still take her and use her as a captive. You know that. So better to spend the little time you may have together. And not forgetting, Ron and I could be used as captives too, and we’re coming with you. She’s in just as much danger as any of the three of us.”
“Yes, but-“
Hermione ploughed on regardless: “And to be perfectly honest, it’s pretty clear how much you feel for her,” Hermione’s voice was unbearably all-knowing; perhaps she had realised this, for she said her next words in a much softer voice.
“You love her, don’t you?”
This silenced Harry. He thought. He thought of the pain he had just gone through, seeing her, hearing her voice, seeing the tears in her eyes…
He remembered the pain he had caused her; guilt welled up inside him…
He did. No doubt about it. He had known it “ subconsciously “ for days. Weeks even. At least since he had arrived at the Burrow…and seen her…and her beautiful eyes…her soft wavy hair…
Harry was sharply brought back to reality.
“And Harry, I don’t want to make this worse, but didn’t…Dumbledore…say that your greatest weapon was, well, love?”
Hermione was right. Harry reflected on the last hour; all the ups and downs…
You love her don’t you? That was all that was going through Harry’s mind. He knew his answer as well. He was definite about it. And she was right about Dumbledore as well. Although he hadn’t needed convincing.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes. I love her. And I have been-“
“The world’s biggest prat. Second only to Percy,” Grumbled Ron, coming in, “He’s not even coming to the wedding. Mum just got an owl.” He informed them.
Ron, on Hermione’s request (as Harry had rightly suspected) had not raged at Harry as he would have done normally, for breaking up with his sister. Ron didn’t need too, though. Just seeing her face was punishment enough for Harry, as Hermione had patiently told an irate Ron several times.
“So what are you going to do Harry? Because she has plenty of reason to hate you right now, but at the same time, she really wants to be with you. She only told you that she can’t be apart from you. You have to handle it just right,” said Hermione thoughtfully.
“Yeah. Remember her bat bogey hexes?” interjected Ron, sitting on the bed and hesitantly winding his arm around Hermione’s waist.
Harry stopped listening to Hermione and Ron’s conversation. He cursed himself for being so stupid. Why had he done this? He had wasted time that they may have little of! Why had he dumped the one girl he loved?
Well, he had an answer. Because he had been so in love. He hadn’t seen what was too protective.
Now all he had to do was make her see that.
You Love Her, Don't You? by PheonixFeathers
Chapter Notes: Thanks to those who reviewed! Title becomes apparent in this chapter.
PS Also, I have some other POV sections written, I'm doing four POV's for the same story. PPS I can't develop a plot very well, so if it seems rushed, that's why! I'll try my bestest though