Hate. Hate is a fickle thing. A fickle thing that can cause this world more destruction and torment than anything else, ever. It can ruin everything. No, let me rephrase that. It will ruin everything. It always does.
They say there’s a thin line between love and hate… well, that’s debatable.
I knew what I felt. I loved Harry. I hated Hermione. It was simple like that. I understood it, it made sense to me. And not many things made sense to me, so I was glad for at least one.
But enter hours and hours of meaningless thinking and new theories come to mind. New, annoying theories that make you question the core of your very beliefs. Did I hate Hermione? Yes, I did. I hated her for what she did to me. Ok, that part didn’t really change and I don’t think it ever would. But something else did…
Did I love Harry? Or did I hate him?
I loved him. But I hated him just as much, also. I loved him because it’s all I knew. I knew nothing else of this world, except loving Harry Potter. It was natural to me, like instinct. I loved him with my whole heart, always and forever.
But I hated him so much. I hated him for picking her over me. I hated him for not loving me, loving me the way I loved him with my unwavering loyalty. For that, I hated him.
It’s so funny because the hate… it grew from something else. I used to love Hermione, love her like a sister. I did actually consider her my sister. We were very close friends. Sure, Rona and Harry came first, but I was her best girl friend by a mile.
And Harry. I loved him purely, without a single shred of hat in my mind. I loved him so much it hurt. It hurt to know that he was away from me. It hurt to see him laughing from a distance, because I knew I didn’t cause that laughter, that happiness. I loved him that much.
And now what? Now there is hate. For Hermione, there is only hate. For Harry, there is love and hate.
There is a thin line there. I understand that saying now. I hate him, but I love him. Well let me tell you, the feeling is a complete waste of time. All it does is confuse you, and I want to escape it.
I want to escape the hate, the hate that is consuming me. And fast. It’s consuming me so quickly, because I have nothing else left.
There is no joy within me. No compassion, or pride or even anger. It is all gone it’s left me to be an empty shell with only three things inside. There is only greed, hate and envy.
And at the moment, hate is ruling my life.
Hate. Hate is underrated. It’s a very powerful thing… there’s my bit of philosophy for the day. Thanks to all for reviewing, and to Meg for beta-ing.
xo anniePADFOOT