Lily Evans stared out the dusty train window at the enormous crowd that had gathered. Everyone, she knew, was saying goodbye to their friends before leaving with their families. Full to bursting with stories of the long school year, there would be no lack of conversation on the way home. Everyone was glad to finally be back.
Except for herself, that was. For the first time in her life, there would be no one to pull her into their waiting arms, no one to tell her how much they'd missed her, no one to be proud of her accomplishments. She was all alone, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Tears now filled her emerald eyes, and it scared her. She had always been calm, cool, and collected, but now she found that her life was slowly but surely spiraling out of her control.
The world swam in front of her as she cried, and it became a difficult task indeed to drag her things out of her lonely compartment and into the deserted aisleway. It appeared that everyone else was gone. If she wasn't off soon as well, the train would probably leave with her still aboard.
She wiped her eyes and reached back down to gather her luggage when an all-too-familiar voice spoke behind her.
"You all right, Evans?" sounded the words of eighteen-year-old James Potter, and a rush of memories filled her head. She saw him as he had been that first night at the Sorting. As a rebellious second year. As a clever third year. As a handsome fourth year. As on obnoxious fifth year. As an intelligent sixth year. As her boyfriend this last, seventh year.
He had been the best guy she had ever been with, by far--not that she had dated very many guys at all, but still. He had completed her so perfectly, she often wondered how she hadn't been able to see it for all those years. So why had it all come to an end?
But she knew why. After her parents' deaths in the middle of that cold January, she had distanced herself from everyone, afraid that she would lose them too. She had been tired of hurting, and if she didn't want to hurt, she couldn't love. It was too risky.
Looking up, she brushed the tears from her eyes once more, knowing as she did how red and puffy they must be.
"Er...yeah, I'm okay," she replied, glancing at him over her shoulder and then turning back to her bags. "I'm okay," she said again, reassuring herself more than anything. Lily could almost hear him smile behind her.
"You always were a bad liar, Lils," he said, using his nickname for her. "Me and you both know you're not okay." His hand came to rest on her shoulder.
She turned around to face him, seeing as she did that his free hand had jumped up to ruffle his unkempt hair. Slightly smiling at this, she looked up into his hazel eyes.
"C'mon, you know you can tell me anything," she said. A rebel tear slipped from one of her eyes as he pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her comfortingly.
"James," she said, and she saw hope flare in his eyes, "these past few months have been so hard, and I never meant to hurt you. You were always there for me when I needed you, and you still are, but please, James, leave the past where it belongs. In the past." She removed herself from his embrace and picked up her bags. Without so much as a backward glance, she stepped off the train.
"Lils," whispered James to the empty aisleway after she had disembarked, "Lils, God damn it, I love you." Then he, too, slung his bag over his shoulder and exited onto the platform.
It did not take long for Lily to realize that she had no idea of what to do or where to go next. She had only enough money to stay in Diagon Alley for a week or so--after that, there was no telling what would happen.
Glancing around, she noticed that there were only a few families left, and she began forward towards the entrance to King's Cross Station. Before stepping through, however, she took one final look around. James was staring at her, but when he saw her return his gaze, he quickly averted his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she disappeared out into the mass of people.
Something Like A Broken Heart by Tara Ranae
Chapter Notes: This is a story that has been sitting on my desk for quite a while now. Only recently did I pick it up and polish it....I hope you enjoy it!!