Dedicatory: To all those who have stuck with me, but specially to lisa_lovegood and Phoenix3 for waiting for this so [im]patiently :)
Old wounds, new beginnings - Chapter 1
Harry roamed through his closet, trying to find that little thing that had become so important to him while trying to remember where he had left it. He had been searching it for more than an hour now, and yet, he hadn’t had any success so far. He was growing desperate, as he once again found nothing amongst a pile of oversized shirts that were lying motionless in the floor. His room was completely disordered after suffering a complete and thorough search. The sheets of his bed had been ripped off, his trunk’s contents turned over, and all of Dudley’s old toys had been moved numerous times. His messy jet-black hair was untamable as usual while he ran his hand through it, annoyed.
A white owl was patiently standing on his bed’s headboard, waiting for her master to finish his useless quest. He scratched his nose, making an account of his last days in Privet Drive. It had not been until a few hours ago, whilst lying on his bed, that he had noticed it missing. Lately, he had been spending a lot of time on that spot. He had tried numerous times to occupy his mind with other things, but in the end, his thoughts always floated back to Sirius, his godfather.
He shook his head as if to clear it from the sombre thoughts and focused back on his quest. At second thought, he didn’t know why he was so stubborn to have at all times that picture somewhere near him. It was, after all, only a picture. A weak smile appeared on his face. Yes, but it is a picture of my best friends. Harry could still remember when Cho Chang had entered his compartment at the beginning of his fifth year. In that time, he had wished to be found with more cool people, immersed in an intelligent conversation. Now, however, he couldn’t think anyone else he would rather be. Yes, Luna could be very… peculiar, and Neville wasn’t exactly the most skilled with a wand. But he had gotten to know their hidden faces. The ones no one every really saw because no one really cared.
Scanning the room one more time, Harry thought sombrely that of all the places where the picture could have been lost, it had to be Privet Drive. He grimaced at the thought of what Uncle Vernon would do if he were to find the picture.
He sighed deeply as he sat on the floor, careless of the mess around him. He was too tired to keep searching, and the sun had long ago disappeared behind his window. Hedwig flew across the room to rest on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort Harry. He gently caressed Hedwig as he stared off into space, thinking of his best friends: Ron, Hermione, and just recently, Ginny, Neville and Luna. They had all been with him at the end of the last year, facing danger and death without wavering back. This was a thought that made him feel both happy and guilty at the same time.
That simple thought summoned darker ones, and memories of his godfather once again flooded his mind. He had just tried to help Sirius; he didn’t mean to get him killed. Fat lot of good that did, Harry thought bitterly, fighting the lump forming in his throat. He forced his mind back to the present.
No, he couldn’t grieve. He couldn’t afford such luxury yet. He had the prophecy ahead of him, and if he wanted to live, Harry would need his mind fully set into it without looking back. There would be time to mourn later. After all, all the fallen ones need someone to cry for them.
It had also taught him a valuable lesson. After long hours of deep reflection while the room sank into the inevitable darkness, Harry had realized that his emotions were becoming his weakness. Voldemort knew it, and that was why he had used Sirius as bait. If he was to destroy the most feared wizard of all time, he couldn’t peril others by feeling. He would have to learn how to close his heart to his surroundings, to freeze his deep emotions and keep them beneath the core.
As he remembered the night he came to that conclusion, Harry felt a twinge of regret that he hastened to subjugate. He closed his eyes tiredly but remained firm in his decision. It was the only way to accomplish it. For the well being of others that would become his path. What would his parents think of him? Would they feel proud?
Harry felt his eyes moistening, but he blinked furiously and forced the tears back. No, crying was useless. Hedwig hooted as if in protest, but Harry only caressed her softly with a sad smile in his face. “It’s the only way, Hedwig…”
Hours passed by until he finally moved again and undressed himself in the darkness of his room. Harry pulled down the blankets and then lay on the bed, waiting for a peaceful and silent sleep to drift him away to another world free of prophecies and Voldemort. Unfortunately, not even in his dreams was he free of Voldemort.
Harry felt as though he had just closed his eyes when Uncle Vernon’s good-morning howlers reverberated in his ears.
“Get down right now, boy!” raged Uncle Vernon from the floor downstairs.
The sun entered his room through the window, casting its light on tiny dots of dust that lazily hovered to the ground. Although Harry was used to being shouted at by his uncle, he couldn’t but wonder what he had gotten himself into this time. It had to be something really bad if Uncle Vernon was addressing him again, let alone shouting. Since the warning Moody gave Uncle Vernon about mistreating Harry, his uncle, and the rest of the family for that matter, had stopped talking to him. If they had to tell something to him, they would say it through a series of grunts, growls, and grumbles.
“I’ll be down in a minute!” shouted Harry in reply.
“You’ll be down in a second! We don’t have all day for this nonsense,” Uncle Vernon commanded impatiently to his nephew.
Harry slowly pulled off the blankets and started his way down to the kitchen. This was definitely not his favourite way to start the day. He found his aunt and uncle looking at him expectantly from behind the kitchen table as though they were judges and Harry was the defendant. Uncle Vernon had a furious look on his face and his aunt was breathing hard, the same way she did whenever Harry did any magic or when he scared Dudley with it.
“Explain this!” barked Uncle Vernon as if he was still talking to Harry through the ceiling. He slammed a small squared picture on the kitchen table.
Harry could feel all the colour draining from his face. He didn’t need to see it twice to know which picture it was. There, on top of the kitchen table, five young students in Hogwarts’ robes were now smiling at him and waving their hands excitedly from the confines of a photograph. So this was the offender...
Harry slowly swallowed hard. If the Dursleys really hated something, besides him of course, it was magic in any form. He looked up at Uncle Vernon’s red face to find two small black eyes piercing into his. In that moment, Harry knew that he was in for a very long morning.
A/N: It's finally here! I'm sorry for announcing this for so long without actually posting it. Hopefully, you'll think it was worth the wait as we go on :) I have so many things prepared for this story! I'm excited and eager to post it! Many thanks to sayiamsirius for betaing this first chapter, and tons of thanks and praises to I Love Severus Snape for also betaing this chapter and accepting to be my beta :D
The next chapters are already written but are waiting for my beta, but that means that there won't be an writer's block keeping you from reading the next chapters :D Please don't forget to leave me a review! I love to know what you readers liked or hated :) Just for the record, I'm not asking for a certain amount of reviews to upload the next chapter, just asking you to leave your feedback on the story :) Thanks for reading!