“And for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin”
I was nervous as I walked up her front steps. It was as if the entire world was watching as I walked in slow motion, my too-tight jeans pressing into my stomach, my socks already sweaty around my feet. My breath was short and my hands were shaking terribly as I reached out to ring the bell. Silence filled my ears as I waited for her to answer the door- I was even deaf to my immature friends honking the car horn and yelling obscenities out the window.
My heart stopped as I heard the lock click open. I hardly dared draw breath as the door knob turned, and as the door swung inwards to reveal Hannah, looking more beautiful than I’d ever seen her. Her lovely golden hair cascaded down her back and over her shoulders, and she was wearing a rumpled singlet top under her denim jacket, coupled with some hipster jeans and high-heeled boots. In her ears she wore gold sleepers, which matched the bangle at her wrist.
She closed and locked the door, then turned to look at me. Her eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help grinning as I was sucked into those beautiful brown orbs.
‘Hello,’ I said. ‘You’re looking lovely tonight.’
She smiled shyly, almost self-consciously. ‘Hi,’ she said, then looked past me to the almost-full car, that had started honking again when she had come out. ‘Friends of yours?’
‘But of course.’ I led her down to the car, opened the door for her, then climbed in after her. I was so happy that everything had gone so well so far.
When we arrived at the club, a crummy kind of place with bad people and good music, the owner looked up with a scowl which lightened when he noticed how many more customers he had.
We grabbed a table and ordered our first round of drinks. Everyone except Hannah, that is. Again I was struck by the fact that I knew so little about her, and added a few more questions to the list that I had made in my head. Slowly, my friends dispersed into couples and smaller groups- drinking, talking, dancing, or for some of them, making out- until it was just me, Hannah, and my work partner Greg sitting at the grimy table.
Greg struck up a conversation about some book he’d read recently, which I couldn’t really contribute to, never having read the book, or many others. Hannah, however, joined in heartily; discussing in great detail the novel’s many plot twists, and the altogether too cheesy ending. They debated whether the author was a genius or an idiot, and whether his use of personification was clever or pure fluke. I felt a sharp pang in my chest as I watched her. She was just so passionate about it; it even made me feel interested.
She had made me feel like that too.
As the night wore on, everyone got more and more relaxed as they ordered more and more drinks and became more and more drunk. I had certainly had a lot more than I would have normally, probably because of the nerves Hannah being there was giving me.
Suddenly she looked across at me. Her warm eyes seemed distant, the smile playing at the corners of her mouth somehow sad. Her pale features weren’t so delicate tonight. They were stronger, more determined. She hadn’t danced with anyone all night, although she’d talked to almost everyone in the room. She seemed happy that way.
‘Are you ok?’ I asked her.
‘Yes. Why?’
I followed her gaze out the window. ‘I’m just wondering if you really want to be here. You seem far away.’
She flashed me a forced smile. ‘No, no. I’m having a great time. I’m a little tired, is all.’
I cast around for something for something to say. I’d always been terribly hopeless about talking to girls. Especially girls who didn’t seem to like me at all.
‘Can I buy you a drink?’ I asked.
Hannah shook her head slowly. ‘Thanks. But I don’t drink. I’ve had some bad experiences that I don’t wish to repeat.’
‘That’s fine,’ I said quickly. ‘Normally I don’t drink much either.’
She nodded vaguely, waving at Greg as he walked past with some poor girl he had just picked up from another table.
‘Do you want to dance?’ I asked nervously, my hand gripping the chair.
I laughed as she looked behind her to check no one was there before looking back at me.
‘Who, me?’ she said. ‘Sure, why not.’
I grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the floor. We had just started dancing, when suddenly the fast paced pop song that had been playing ended, to be replaced by some slow song- a couple song.
We looked at each other uncomfortably. Slowly I took one of her hands into my own, placing my other one lightly on her thin waist.
Hannah looked scared as she put her hand onto my shoulder, as though I might bite her head off or something. We began to dance, swaying slowly to the music and rotating on the spot as the floor around us quickly filled up with other couples holding hands.
I lightly pulled her closer, so we were practically touching; her head just a bit higher than my shoulder. My breath caught in my throat as she gripped my hand within hers. I lifted my hand from her waist and ran a finger around the edge of her face, down her neck, and onto her shoulder. I put my hand behind her neck, supporting her head. And then, before I could stop myself, I leant down and kissed her lightly on her forehead.
She jumped back, as if electrocuted. Her eyes were wide and afraid, looking straight up at me. She looked so scared.
‘Hannah-’ I said worriedly, reaching out my hand.
‘Sorry-sorry,’ she said. ‘I just…I just need some air.’
She ran off through the crowd towards the door. I walked after her, receiving weird looks from others dancing as I passed them. When I got outside, I couldn’t see her anywhere. I looked down the street and right at the end, I could see a single taxi turning the corner, before disappearing into the darkness.
My eyes snap open, my breath quick, my heart beating hard and fast. I’ve been dreaming again. These dreams always seem to come just as I’m starting to forget. And they’re always the same.
It’s her, standing there, asking me to forgive her. She turns and walks away. I follow her, only to find myself in a corridor full of doors. Where’s she gone? I see a red door with a rusty knob. I open it, and I’m surrounded by coloured lights, with loud music playing all around, but it doesn’t seem to be coming from anywhere. And then I fall. And I keep on falling until suddenly I find myself in bed.
I know what it means. I know what I have to do. But I’m too afraid I’ll fall.
Yay!!!!! See you in chapter 7 (if i can write it)
luv ya,
chlo xoxo