Falling Apart
“Hermione, you’re not ill. You’re pregnant.”
The statement took Hermione aback.
“What are you talking about?” she asked. “Those can’t be my test results.”
“I ran the tests myself. These are your results.”
“No, Ben, you don’t understand,” said Hermione, laughing nervously. “I’m on the Contraceptive Potion. I can’t be pregnant.”
“Hermione,” said Ben, “you should know better than anyone that that potion is not a hundred percent effective. Here,” he said, giving her the results, “take a look.”
Hermione took the papers in her hands and was left speechless.
“But I- I can’t be…” she said, clasping a hand over her mouth and looking at Ben in horror.
“I thought you would be happy,” said Ben, utterly confused and surprised by Hermione’s reaction. He got up and sat down next to her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Ben! What’s wrong? I’m not even married yet!” she said, tears starting to stream down her face, a note of hysteria in her voice. “I can’t get pregnant right now! I’m not ready! I can’t take care of a baby! I can’t Ben! I just-”
“Can anyone get me a Calming Draught?” Ben shouted out the door. A healer quickly brought him a vial of the potion.
“You need to calm down,” Ben told a hyperventilating Hermione. “This is not doing you any good. Drink this,” he said as he passed her the potion. “Please.”
Hermione, still sobbing, emptied the vial in one gulp.
“Lie down for a bit,” said Ben, conjuring up a small bed. “This is going to make you drowsy. I hate seeing you like this, Hermione,” he said, softly rubbing her back.
“I’m sorry,” she said, in a whisper. “I- I’m not ready, Ben.”
“Don’t worry about that now,” he said. “I’ll be back to check on you later.”
After a moment, she fell asleep.
Thirty minutes later, Ben was back, this time with an unexpected visitor.
“Hermione,” said Ben, tugging at her sweater, trying to wake her up. “Hermione, wake up.”
As Hermione opened her eyes, she was surprised to see Harry sitting next to her on the bed.
“Harry, what are you doing here?” she asked.
“Er, he called me,” replied Harry, pointing to Ben. “Are you okay?” Harry asked.
“Um, I’m not sure,” she replied sleepily.
“I hope you don’t mind,” said Ben, “but I remembered Harry was a close friend of yours so I took the liberty of calling him. You needed someone to take you home after you took the Calming Draught.”
“Thank you, Ben,” said Hermione, sitting up.
“You’re welcome. When is Michael coming back?”
“Um, the day after tomorrow, I think,” replied Hermione.
“I’ll see you soon after, then. Bye,” said Ben, as he closed the door behind him.
“Hermione, you look awful,” said Harry truthfully. “What happened?”
“Oh, Harry…” said Hermione, giving Harry a wan look.
“Let’s go to the house,” said Harry. “Ginny is waiting for us there.” He picked up her coat and helped her get it on.
“Grip my arm,” he told her. “I don’t want you to end up in Antarctica.” The joke made Hermione smile weakly.
In a few seconds she experienced the familiar feeling of being pushed through a tight rubber tube. She shut her eyes firmly. When the feeling faded she opened her eyes and realized they were standing in front of Harry and Ginny’s house.
“Are you alright?” asked Harry.
“Sort of,” replied Hermione. “I feel a bit… dizzy.”
“Let’s go in,” said Harry.
When Hermione entered the living room, she saw Ginny sleeping on the couch, a huge bowl of treacle fudge next to her. She laughed softly.
“That’s her thing now: treacle fudge,” said Harry, smiling. “C’mon. Let’s get you settled,” he told her, leading her to the guest room.
“Why don’t you rest for a bit? You’re probably just tired because of the Calming Drought. I’ll check on you later.”
By the time Harry had exited the room, Hermione had already fallen asleep.
Harry went downstairs to the kitchen. When Ginny heard him rummaging there she woke up.
“What are you doing?” she asked Harry curiously.
“Do we have green tea?”
“What do you want green tea for?”
“It’s for Hermione,” replied Harry.
“Oh. Is she coming over already? I hadn’t realized the time,” said Ginny.
“She’s sleeping upstairs.”
“What? Why? Is she okay?”
“I got a floo call from a healer from St. Mungo’s while you were sleeping. He told me that he was a friend of Michael and Hermione and that Hermione had an appointment with him this morning. Something happened and Hermione had some sort of anxiety attack and they had to give her a Calming Drought.”
“What happened?” asked Ginny.
“He didn’t tell me,” said Harry. “He said that it should be Hermione who told me.”
“But why did he call you?”
“They needed someone to take her home after taking the potion; apparently Michael is in Paris.”
“In Paris? What’s he doing over there?”
“Ginny,” said Harry, trying to keep his patience, “how should I know?”
Ginny glared at him. He ignored her.
“Help me get up,” she said.
“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere,” said Harry. “Healer said bed rest, remember?”
“But this isn’t my bed,” said Ginny, putting on an innocent face.
Harry gave her a look that would make Professor McGonagall proud.
“Come on! I need to see Hermione!” she begged Harry.
“I helped you come downstairs this morning because I know you get bored from staring at the four walls of our bedroom,” he said. “That doesn’t mean you can go walking around the house all day.”
“But Harry-”
“Don’t argue,” Harry interrupted. “You know you’re not going to win this one.”
An hour or two after Harry had taken her to his house, Hermione woke up. At first she didn’t recognize where she was, but after a few seconds she remembered everything. She got up and went downstairs, where she found Harry and Ginny in the living room. Harry was working at his desk and Ginny was reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting Triplets.
“Hermione! How are you feeling?” asked a concerned Ginny as soon as Hermione entered the room.
“I’m okay,” said Hermione quietly.
“I’ll go get the tea,” said Harry, standing up.
Hermione sat down next to Ginny on the couch.
Harry came back with the tea and quickly gave Hermione a cup.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked her.
Hermione nodded.
“Hermione,” said Ginny very cautiously, “what happened this morning?”
Hermione remained silent, although the tears falling down her cheeks were speaking for her.
“Hermione, please tell us,” said Ginny. “You’re worrying us.”
“Ginny,” said Hermione, “I- I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“What did that healer tell you this morning?” asked Harry.
“I thought it was nothing, really. But Michael insisted…”
“Hermione, you’re not making any sense,” said Ginny.
“I’m… I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my god,” said Ginny, her voice barely a whisper. “Ar- Are you sure?”
Hermione nodded.
There was silence for a few moments and then Harry spoke.
“Hermione, everything is going to be okay,” he said.
Hermione shook her head.
“Hermione,” said Ginny, “it’s not like you’re alone. You’re getting married soon, money is not really a problem for Michael and“”
“Ginny, it’s not about the money!” screamed Hermione, breaking down for the second time that day. “It’s not about being married or not! The problem is that I’m not ready to have a baby! I’m too young to have a baby!”
“Hermione, I’m not exactly older than you are… I’m actually two years younger and I’m expecting triplets!”
“But it’s so different!” said Hermione. “You two planned this to happen! I just got engaged! This is something Michael and I talked about happening in a very distant future. I’m not supposed to have a baby right now! Don’t you understand? Can’t you understand?”
Ginny and Harry remained silent. After they managed to calm Hermione down, Ginny was brave enough to speak again.
“Hermione,” she said, “I know this is very hard for you. I know you’re reacting this way because this was completely unexpected. But you have to think; clear your head, evaluate the situation. If you do that, all the answers to your problems will come to you. You’re blocking yourself: you’re putting up a barrier in front of yourself. You’re going to lose your mind if you keep going like this.”
“I just feel so… lost,” said Hermione quietly. “I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a mother.”
“Oh, please!” said Ginny. “That’s like saying Mum wasn’t meant to be a mother!”
Hermione smiled.
“I know you’re going to be thrilled about it. Eventually,” said Ginny, laughing.
“I think you might be more ready than you think you are,” said Harry wisely.
“I hope so,” said Hermione. “I really hope you’re right.”
“Are you feeling better now?” asked Harry.
“Yes. Thank you,” Hermione said. “For everything.”
“It was no problem for us. You are our best friend,” said Harry. “You know that can never change.”
Harry gave Hermione a long hug, whispering to her ear, “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.”
These words made Hermione feel much better. From that moment on she knew everything was going to be alright.
“Now,” said Ginny, “can we get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine,” said Hermione.
“You can stay in the guestroom,” said Harry.
“Don’t worry about me,” said Hermione. “I’m going home to“”
“You’re staying here,” said Ginny. “There is no way we are letting you go tonight.”
Hermione gave Harry an are-you-going-to-help-me? look. Harry replied with a no-way look.
Hermione sighed heavily. “You’re both impossible,” she finally said, after she figured they were not going to let her go.
The rest of the day ran smoothly, considering how the morning went. Hermione helped Harry prepare dinner, with Ginny giving instructions from the couch, something Hermione found very funny.
Hermione was the last to fall asleep that night. Her mind was racing with possible scenarios of what would happen once Michael came back. Would he be happy when he found out? Would he be angry? She didn’t know what to expect. It was just a matter of hours before she would find the answer to her question.
The following morning Hermione was woken up by Harry, who was wearing an apron with a flower print.
“Hermione, breakfast is ready.”
“Okay,” said Hermione sleepily. She had to do a double-take when she saw Harry’s apron. “You look quite nice in that apron, Mrs. Potter,” she said, laughing.
“Shut up,” said Harry, smiling.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ll be right down,” she said.
But immediately after she got downstairs the smell of scrambled eggs and sausage hit her, she had to run to the loo. A nasty bout of nausea hit her.
“Here,” said Harry after she came out of the bathroom, handing her a potion. “Don’t ask me what it has. It’s what Ginny’s healer gave her for the nausea.”
“Thanks,” said Hermione. “I think I’m going to skip breakfast. Michael will be getting home soon, and I want to be there when he comes back.”
“I understand,” said Harry. “Good luck.”
Hermione kissed Harry goodbye and quickly apparated to Hogsmeade.
Hermione entered the house quietly. She headed to the sitting room to light a fire and ponder over her thoughts. She was still worried about Michael’s reaction. Just as she sat down on the couch, she heard someone open the door.
“I’m baack,” said Michael.
Hermione tried to keep her composure. This was going to be one of the hardest things she would have to do in her life.
“Well look at you!” said Michael. “I decide to come home early so I could surprise you and you’re already dressed! I missed you,” he said, giving her a kiss.
Hermione remained silent, keeping her eyes fixed on a stain on the carpet.
“What? You didn’t miss me?” asked Michael jokingly. After a moment of silence he asked more seriously: “Are you okay?”
Hermione nodded, still keeping her face down.
“No, you’re not,” said Michael, kneeling down next to her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Hermione gave him a miserable look.
“Michael, I went to see Ben yesterday.”
Michael’s face turned ghastly white.
“What happened, Hermione?” he asked, sitting down next to her. “What did he find?”
“Michael, I… I’m pregnant.”
Michael stared at her in disbelief.
“I’m sorry?”
“I’m pregnant, Michael.”
“But I… I thought that… Weren’t you taking…?”
“I was taking the Contraceptive Potion but it failed this time,” said Hermione, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Hermione, are you crying?” asked Michael incredulously.
“No,” she replied, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks.
Michael laughed softly. “Darling, it’s going to be alright. I mean, our timing is a bit… well… off, but you can not imagine what you have done. You just made me the happiest man on earth. This is truly the best… belated Christmas present anyone has given me.”
Hermione looked at him in amazement. “I thought you… Aren’t you worried…?”
“We’ll have time to prepare! It’s not like you are having this baby right now. Right?”
Hermione laughed.
“I love you, Hermione,” said Michael.
“I love you, too,” she replied, giving him a kiss.
“Now we just have to tell my mother,” said Michael.
“Oh God,” said Hermione. “She’s going to have a heart attack.”
“She’ll survive. I hope,” said Michael. “She already invited us to the house. It will be best if we go tomorrow.”
“So soon?”
“It’s better that way. When are you supposed to start work?”
“January 4,” replied Hermione.
“The day after tomorrow?” asked Michael.
“Yes.”
“How have you been feeling lately?”
“Normal,” replied Hermione. “Just the usual morning sickness.”
“I see,” said Michael. “I think you should talk to Minerva.”
“Professor McGonagall? Why?”
“Well, you are going to be absent for many days. And I think we should begin discussing your retirement from Hogwarts,” said Michael, standing up and walking towards the fireplace.
“Why would I leave Hogwarts, Michael?”
“Hermione, you know how everybody talks,” said Michael. “Besides, I don’t want you working. I want you to take care of yourself during this pregnancy. And then when the baby arrives you are going to be too busy to go back to work.”
“The fact that I am pregnant does not mean I’m handicapped, Michael! And does the fact that I’m having a child mean that I have to give up my career as a teacher?”
“You can scream and shout all you want, but you are going to do as I say.”
“No, I’m n“”
“Yes, you are!” screamed Michael, losing his temper.
Hermione sat frozen on the couch, her eyes wide open in shock.
“I’m… I’m sorry…” said Michael, walking towards Hermione. She quickly raised her hand, as if to tell him he should stay away, and ran to the bedroom.
“I thought the idea of reading this book was to get educated, not get scared,” Ginny told Harry from behind her copy of What to Expect. “How long ago did you say she left?”
“About an hour. Why?” asked Harry.
“Oh, I was just wondering why she hasn’t flooed yet.”
“Ginny, it’s not like Hermione has to report over here every hour,” said Harry.
“I know, I know. It’s just that“”
Ginny was interrupted by someone knocking on the door.
“I’ll be right there!” yelled Harry, getting up.
He was surprised to see Ron standing at the other side of the door.
“Come in,” he said, a bit confused. “I thought you were supposed to be in Australia by now.”
“Oh, I’m talking the day off to solve a few personal matters,” said Ron.
“What ‘personal matters’, Ron?” asked Ginny suspiciously.
“Nothing important,” replied Ron. “So, what have you two been up to?”
“Oh, nothing new, except “”
“Can someone please explain to me since when Hermione is engaged?” Ron demanded.
“So this is what this is all about,” muttered Ginny under her breath.
“Yes Ginevra, this is what it’s all about,” Ron snapped back.
“Last time I checked Ron, Hermione was free to do whatever she wanted to do with her life,” said Ginny. “You are in no position “”
“In no position? We almost got married!”
“Oh, for goodness sake, Ron! You were not even engaged!”
“She broke off with me!”
“You broke her heart!”
“Ron! Out! Now!” said Harry, with a furious voice, from the door.
Once Ron was outside, it was Harry’s turn to burst.
“Are you out of you mind? If you keep arguing with her like that you’re going to send her to the hospital!”
“I’m sorry,” said Ron, turning a light shade of pink.
“Sit down,” said Harry, gesturing to the porch swing. “We need to talk.”
Once they were seated, Harry shot the first question.
“Why are you reacting this way? I mean why now, after two years?”
“I don’t know,” said Ron helplessly. “I guess… I’m confused. I mean, two nights ago I thought I had managed to get her out of my mind. And she just… She comes back into my life just like that, with no warning at all. Harry, she looked so... And then to see her wrapped in the arms of that “” he stopped abruptly. Then Harry distinctively heard the word “asshole” escape Ron’s lips.
“You cannot possibly be jealous,” said Harry in disbelief. “Ron, the break up was two years ago. Hermione is engaged. She moved on when you ran away.”
“I didn’t run away, Harry! Don’t you realize this didn’t affect Hermione only? Didn’t it cross your mind that Hermione broke up with me and it broke my heart?”
“And you didn’t do anything about it, did you? I told you that immersing yourself in work was not the answer. I told you that going away would make things worse. I told you to talk to her. I told you to tell her how you felt. We all did, Ron. You just didn’t want to listen.”
Ron remained silent.
“And anyway, what are you going to do about it now? Are you going to ruin this for her? Hermione has been through a lot. You cannot imagine how hard it has been for her to get to where she is,” said Harry.
“Where is Mr. Optimism now?” yelled Ginny from the living room.
“I left him yesterday morning at St. Mungo’s, Ginny,” said Harry.
“Er… could you explain?” asked Ron.
“We are going to have to tell him sometime,” said Ginny, who was now standing at the door.
“Ginny, why can’t you just stay put?” asked Harry, hurrying to help Ginny sit next to Ron. “How did you even get up?”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” she replied.
“Guys, what do you have to tell me?” asked a very confused Ron.
Harry and Ginny exchanged tense looks.
“Go ahead. I’m waiting,” said Ron.
“Ron, yesterday we found out Hermione is pregnant,” said Harry bluntly.
“What?” Ron’s hurt expression was indescribable.
“I’m very sorry, Ron,” said Ginny, who was on the verge of tears.
“I… I have to go,” said Ron slowly.
“Oh, Ron, please don’t go,” said Ginny, pleading. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“It’s… okay, Ginny,” he said. “I… I just need fresh air.”
And just like that, Ron disapparated.