Chapter 4
"Right, so if we just go down here - " Hermione gestured to her left, only to see that Matilda had taken her words too literally and had actually fallen down. "Matilda! Are you okay?" She helped her up, soon realizing that a few drops of red were dripping onto her arm. "You're bleeding!" Hermione pointed out, but Matilda looked away, as if she were ashamed.
"I've been losing blood for a while now," she admitted quietly. "Hermione, I - I don't know how long I can hold out for..."
"Why didn't you say something?" Hermione asked, trying hard not to sound exasperated, which wasn't hard considering that Matilda was being very quiet and looked fairly pale.
"I didn't want to slow us down even more," Matilda explained, a look of determination returning to her eyes.
"Right, a simple Blood-Replenishing Potion should do it. Excuse me," Hermione called out to a passing Healer. "Do you have any Blood-Replenishing Potions? You see, my friend - "
"Yes, I see your friend. I work here, so if my eyesight wasn't up to scratch, I'd know how to fix it. Now, can't you see that everyone here is rushed off their feet? We don't have time for your queries - go to the Enquiries desk for that!" he snapped, walking away briskly.
"He can't just say that! He's a Healer - he's meant to help people! That was so rude!" Hermione exclaimed angrily, feeling her jaw drop open. "I mean, there's a store cupboard right there! How hard would it be for him to just get a Blood-Replenishing Potion out for us quickly, then carry on with whatever he was doing?"
"Don't worry about it. It's not as if I have long left anyway..." Matilda said dismally.
Hermione scowled, thinking hard. "Well, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself," she stated, and drew out her wand. "Alohamora!" She waved her wand at the store cupboard and eagerly went inside. "Clothes. They have about five dozen spare Healer's aprons, but no Blood-Replenishing Potions! They even have a sock," she cried in despair.
"Look, Hermione, there's obviously nothing you can do with some old aprons and a sock, and there's nothing you can do for me, so - "
"There is always something you can do for someone. There's always a way, you just have to find it," Hermione said quite coldly, quickly grabbing an old apron and tying it around her waist. "Healer!" she called out to a young girl who was walking the other way. "Healer! We have a code 34 up on the fifth floor!" she said loudly, ignoring the shocked expression on the girl's face. Hermione reckoned that she must have been a trainee, called on to help at such a dire time - it was obvious that things were getting worse.
"A - um - a code 34?" the girl repeated nervously.
Hermione rolled her eyes, and she suspected that Matilda would be laughing if she had any energy. "Yes, a code 34! Don't tell me you didn't read the handbook?" Hermione asked sternly, alarming the girl even more.
"Oh! A code 34! Right!" she said, though it was obvious she had no idea what Hermione was talking about. It was particularly obvious to Hermione, as she had just made it up. "I'll get to it!"
"Wait - before you go, where are the Blood-Replenishing Potions? I need one urgently." Hermione quickened her pace to catch up with the poor girl.
"We've run out," she replied in a whisper. "There have just been so many other things to deal with at the moment. But here's the key to the stock cupboard on the third floor, you can make a batch from the ingredients there," she said, handing Hermione a key before dashing off.
"Right, we have to go to the third floor, and look out for any stock cupboards," Hermione said, conjuring up a stretcher for Matilda, which she gladly fell down on. As they made their way to the stairs, Hermione caught Matilda looking at her with what seemed like almost admiration. "What?"
Matilda laughed, some colour seemed to have returned to her face after she lay down for a bit, and the hope of a Blood-Replenishing Potion helped to lift her spirits slightly. "That was pretty smooth, back there! I didn't know you had it in you."
"Well, I've learnt from experience. When you have a particularly vile toad of a teacher and several armed Junior Death Eaters holding you at wand-point, with several nasty curses they're just itching to try out on you - after which your nose will never quite look the same, no matter how talented a Healer is, suddenly it's quite easy to get inventive," Hermione explained with a short laugh.
"Here's one," Matilda pointed out, inclining towards a cupboard on their left. Hermione quickly checked to make sure that no-one official looking was around before trying the key. To her delight, it worked, but to her horror, there were shelves and shelves of bottles, boxes and jars, few which seemed to be labelled legibly.
"Right. Blood-Replenishing Potion. We did this in sixth year," Hermione dictated to herself, not that it was helping much. "I know you need five salamander parts, as they're used in Strengthening Solutions, and of course, if you've lost blood you'll need strength. Also, on that note, we need three drops of pomegranate juice."
"Found them," Matilda called from her stretcher, which was now floating by some of the higher shelves that Hermione couldn't reach.
"Good," she said absentmindedly, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, trying to think. "Now, I know we need a base of Pepper-Up Potion - but is it knotgrass or fluxweed?" she wondered out loud.
"Well, I can see some knotgrass, but there isn't any fluxweed..." Matilda noted, moving her stretcher from row to row.
"Oh, that's lucky, as it is knotgrass!" Hermione said enthusiastically. Matilda did not look convinced. "No, it is!" she protested. "I remembered it, because, 'You must note, it is knotgrass, for it's never not knotgrass! Fluxweed failingly fails.' You see?" Hermione asked, a broad smile on her face. "What? I took my studies seriously!" Matilda rolled her eyes, but passed down the knotgrass anyway. "And the last ingredient is some powdered moonstone, for not only bodily balance, but emotional too."
As Hermione got to work brewing, she couldn't help but worry. It was knotgrass, wasn't it? As she glanced at Matilda's hopeful expression, she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty - what if it wasn't? Being 'inventive' definitely came in handy at times...
"So if we turn around here," Hermione said wearily, afraid that their search wasn't getting them very far. They'd been looking for over half an hour after Matilda's Blood-Replenishing potion started to take effect, and although she was noticeably better, Hermione wasn't sure how long it would last. "Then we should find - "
"Well, look who we've found!" came a different voice, one which Hermione instantly recognised. She looked up to see the identical freckled faces of the Weasley twins grinning down at her. But for some reason, their grins didn't seem as stable as they usually were. Hermione tried to put on a smile, but was painfully aware that it was a very weak one. It could have been worse, Hermione consoled herself, hoping they weren't going to ask any awkward questions. It could have been -
"Hermione!" The other twin interrupted her from her thoughts, and Hermione thought it was George. "Long time no see, eh? Why haven't you popped by lately? We'd all love to see you." At that the twins exchanged pointed glances, which Hermione did her best to ignore, but that wasn't easy as she was also having to ignore Matilda's inquisitive gaze.
"Matilda, these are my friends, Fred and George. Or George and Fred," Hermione said, after a moment's consideration. They grinned and nodded. "Fred and George - no, sorry - George and Fred, this is Matilda."
"Wait - are you Charlie's brothers?" Matilda asked fairly enthusiastically. Hermione could bet that she had heard a lot about them. She also couldn't help but wonder if her own name had ever come up.
"That's us," Fred agreed.
"What are you two doing in St. Mungo's anyway?" Hermione asked, curiosity overcoming her. "Shouldn't you be out causing chaos somewhere?" she continued wryly. The twins exchanged further glances at that, and seemed to be having an argument in their eyes, and small shakes and nods of their heads.
Fred sighed, looking serious all of a sudden. "About that, Hermione. You see - "
"I think the better question is, what are you doing here? We heard you went running off to Romania! What happened - missed us too much?" George asked lightly, but Hermione felt it sounded a bit forced. She also wondered why he'd cut his brother off - it wasn't uncommon for the twins to complete each other's sentences, but that wasn't just completion or a twin thing - that was a cover up.
"Actually, Matilda's come down with Dragon Pox. We're looking for a cure," Hermione explained, deciding to respect the twins' privacy in the hope that they'd respect hers. She wasn't sure how much more she could deal with right then. Familiar sympathetic looks came over the twins, as all facades came down.
"And have you found one?" Fred asked keenly.
"Almost. Well, we're on our way, at any rate. If only we could find the way... We're looking for a portrait that can help us, Hippocrates. He was a great ancient Healer who practically discovered medicine. If anyone can help us, he can. The only problem is, we don't know where his portrait is."
"We'll help," Fred said quickly, not even needing to look at his brother to know how they both felt. Hermione couldn't help but smile; any help couldn't hurt.
"If you want us to," George added.
"Of course! That would be great, thank you." She smiled at the twins and Matilda, feeling the flicker of hope still burning. "Just be on the lookout for an old portrait or a man who has a long grey beard, probably medieval, dressed in old fashioned clothes who looks wise, and probably a bit ghostly - "
"How about an annoying witch in long purple robes, blonde curls so rigid someone must have tried to hex her nose, but missed - "
"Though it is pretty hard to miss - "
"And who has talons instead of fingernails?" Fred finished. Hermione looked at the twins strangely, though with some of the stuff they came up with, this was almost normal.
"No, we definitely want a wizard," Hermione stressed. "Not that a witch couldn't do it as well normally, but this is a particular person who we're - "
"No, Hermione, there is actually a witch of the description we just gave you, who, unless I'm very much mistaken - which isn't often, let me tell you - is Rita Skeeter," Fred explained calmly.
Hermione held back a gasp, peeking through the drapes which separated the ward they were in and the one Rita Skeeter was currently scouring. The woman looked unchanged; her nails – or talons, as Fred had more accurately described them – were still vivid red and capable of scraping any story out of the barrel. Her beady eyes were eagerly looking everywhere for something – or someone, Hermione couldn’t help but think.
"I bet she's looking for me," Hermione whispered, careful not to take her eyes off Rita, for she was well aware of her ability to disappear and fly away - or nearer - at any given moment. "She's been out to get me since fourth year, especially after - " Hermione broke off, not sure how much she should say. However, the twins seemed to understand her silence from earlier, and didn't probe. Matilda was another matter.
"Especially after what? You know, Hermione, all the time I'm finding out new things that I'd never have guessed - or more often, I'm not finding out new things. I mean - "
"Don't worry," Fred hastily interrupted. Hermione quite liked her newfound allegiance with them. "We'll distract her for you."
"Yes, what do you want us to do?" George asked. A grin began to form over Hermione's face.
"Well..."
"Hello, Miss, can we help you?"
Rita turned to see two identical young men in Healer's aprons. One was also wearing a sock on his right hand, but she decided to ignore that. She also decided to ignore the rather wicked grins on their faces, which in hindsight might not have been entirely wise...
"Yes, I'm looking for Hermione Granger. Do you happen to know which ward she might be in?" she asked in the sickly sweet voice which she always used when trying to get a scoop, making Hermione cringe from behind the drapes where she was spying.
"Hermione Granger?" Fred asked, looking at George as they both scratched their chins, thinking. "Yes, I saw her in the Dai Llewellyn ward a while ago."
"A few years ago to be precise. But she was in the Janus Thickey ward more recently." George added, trying to hide a grin as he tried to look thoughtful and sincere.
"Yes, that was at Christmas, wasn't it?" Fred said enthusiastically.
"What use is it to me if she was there at Christmas?" Rita asked in aggravation, studying the twins to see if they were serious.
"Oh no, not this Christmas!" George corrected with a laugh. Fred chuckled with his brother, which made it seem as if they were sharing a private joke. "That was - ooh, how many years ago, Fred?"
Rita peered over the top rims of her jewelled glasses and narrowed her eyes at the twins, who seemed absorbed in their discussion of exactly how long ago it was. They had decided on how many years, and were in the middle of debating whether it was four or five months when Rita interrupted. "I am not finding this at all helpful," she spat, tapping her foot. Clearly she was not in a good mood - mention of Hermione did that always seemed to darken her day. "I have a good mind to speak to your supervisor, or write an article confirming the incompetence of St. Mungo's staff. I can see it now - "
"No!" Fred interrupted, looking genuinely afraid. "Have you tried the Enquiries desk?" Rita's foot-tapping increased.
"How about we offer you a heath enhancing sweet? Free of charge," George tempted, holding out a round, gold wrapper. "It's a prototype, but it's supposed to ward away germs and viruses - very useful for the Healers, as we're always exposed to them. Much more effective than Pepper-Up Potion, and without that pesky steam to ruin your hair."
Rita petted her curls fondly before swiftly accepting the sweet, letting the wrapper fall to the floor. Matilda watched on, fascinated by the scene unfolding in front of her. Hermione giggled, knowing what was coming next, but still delighting in seeing it. If anyone deserved to be pranked, it was Rita.
Hermione stuffed her hands in her mouth to keep from laughing out loud as Rita let out a shrill scream, blood dripping down her broad chin and staining her mauve robes. Her hands flailed in the air helplessly as she realised she couldn't stop it, the blood was dripping from her hands onto the otherwise white floor.
"Do something!" she hissed at the twins, her face still in complete shock. "Make it stop bleeding!"
"Are you sure that's blood? I thought it was just your nails," Fred asked, leaning forward for a closer look.
"Yeah, you really shouldn't pick your nose, Rita, horrible habit," George agreed with a nod, circling Rita, who looked on the border of hysterics. "Is that one stuck up there?"
"It's not!" Rita gasped, looking even more horrified, as she eyed the twins circling her like lions that were ready to attack their prey. "Just make it go away!"
"Oh, all right," Fred relented. "Put on this hat," he instructed, pulling out an old fashioned bowler hat from the bag he was carrying. Rita grabbed it quickly and shoved it on her head.
"How exactly does this wor - Argh! My head! It's gone!" Her screams intensified, and Hermione wondered why no one was coming to see what the matter was. She supposed that other problems must be causing too much hassle, and the sight of two (supposed) Healers with the woman must have placated them enough to ignore it.
"Exactly! Now no one can see your nosebleed!"
"Or your face - it's two for the price of one!"
"Yes, speaking of price, that will be eleven sickles please."
"We'll throw in the Nosebleed Nougat for free." This seemed to be the tip of the iceberg for Rita, who charged at the grinning twins, but they retaliated by each throwing a separate hex at her. Hermione gasped - that hadn't been part of the plan. However, the sight of Rita lying powerlessly on the floor, being attacked by flying, murky green slugs was fairly comical.
"Interesting," Fred noted. "I always wondered what would happen if we combined a Slug-vomiting Charm and the Bat-Bogey Hex."
"I have to say, it's not very attractive."
"And just after she got rid of the nosebleed as well."
"How tragic."
"Very," the twins sympathised unconvincingly as they turned on their heels, leaving Rita to her own devices.
"No, I'm not sure it will sell well," George said sadly, turning back for a last look at the slayer slugs engulfing Rita's spectacles.
"You know, we should be proud of our siblings," Fred noted as they walked away.
"Yeah, I mean, Ginny inspired us to use the Bat-Bogey Hex, and the re-enacting of Ron's Slug-vomiting Charm was just too funny not to want to see it for ourselves."
"They really are a credit to us."
Escaping Fate - Alongside Certain Death And Other Such Predicaments by Oppungo
Chapter Notes: Many thanks to Emily (little_kitty) for betaing at short notice!