The silence was almost broken, but I held back my sob as I watched the wraith in my kitchen. However, I couldn’t restrain the glassy pool forming in my eyes.
I’d never seen her like this, not in the two years I’d known her. It was as if she’d been crying for a year, and her weary eyes would not endure another tear. Her silhouette was too small for even my cooking to remedy. As she searched for my teacups, I could have sworn one small gust of wind would have knocked her off her feet. Not that it was uncommon for her to fall; she was having more accidents lately. I kept a close eye on my precious cups. Her shaggy, dull brown hair was the perfect veil for her downcast eyes. Every motherly instinct within me longed to hug the heartbroken girl in front of me, but she wasn’t a child. She was a woman.
“Do you want sugar, Molly?” she asked, her soft voice barely reaching my ears. Dabbing at my eyes, I nodded. When she didn’t turn her head to look at me, I gave her my answer aloud.
Nodding herself, she added sugar to my cup, a pink one with a green handle. I decided to offer my help and carry the cups to the kitchen table, and in so doing, ensure the safety of said cups. She shrugged and sat down in the chair across from me, her cloak on the back of it. She stuck an unneeded spoon into her cup and twirled it in the tea, absentmindedly. I again repressed a sob. I would never have guessed she’d take it this hard.
“What is it, Molly?” Her lifeless eyes looked into mine, and I saw the emotions she was wearily hiding behind them. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
To keep my hand from patting hers, I took a sip of my tea. Replacing it on a saucer, I answered, “Actually, I wanted to invite you to dinner.”
Two eyebrows rose. “Molly, it’s late. Didn’t you have dinner already?”
“Oh, no! Well, I mean, yes, I did, but I didn’t mean tonight,” I stammered. “I was wondering if you wanted to come this weekend.” And I wanted to know how you were holding up, I thought to myself.
“Who will be there?”
We both knew what she meant. Would Remus be there? “What does it matter?”
Her smile held no amusement. “Molly, who’s going to be there?”
“He will.”
She winced. “Right.” She bit her lip. “Of course, you knew.”
My chuckle held as much mirth as her bitter smile did. “Dear, you’re not exactly being subtle.”
Lowering her head further over her tea, she nodded. “I can’t help it. I didn’t mean for my appearance to change like this. I never wanted…” An unbidden tear joined her tea.
“When did this all start?” Curiosity got the better of me. I’d been dying to know for ages, and I hoped it would help her to talk about it.
She leaned back in her chair and closed her wet eyelashes. “I’ve been trying to guess that for a while now. I think it was the first official dinner party you held at the Burrow. I remember everything about that night. All the kids were at school, and Bill was on a date with Fleur. There was no moon that night, so Remus was looking very healthy. We stayed up all night talking in the garden. It was so dark, and we could barely see each other. Oh, we had so much fun.” Unknowingly, a smile came to her face as she relived one of the only happy moments she had with the man she loved. “I learned so much about him that night. He told me so many stories from his time at Hogwarts. I almost fell asleep listening to his voice. He really loved his friends. I think it may have been then. Listening to his voice and his memories…”
Her eyes opened, and with the opening, she came flying back to reality, wiping the smile off her face. “We don’t talk anymore. He won’t even look at me.”
I despaired at the hopelessness in her face and fought my dislike of the match. I had always wanted her to be my daughter, from the moment I saw her. Now, that couldn’t be. She had given her heart to a man who was her complete opposite. Remus was a learned werewolf who had grace and a comforting calm. She was an Auror who had more spunk and action, however clumsy it may be, than knowledge. She was just the sort of girl my Bill was looking for. Well, at least I thought she was until he started dating Fleur, the world’s most annoyingly perfect part-Veela.
“You’re not serious?”
A pretty frown played on her features. “Molly, does it look like I’m joking?”
Following her example, I frowned. “You mean, you haven’t noticed how he looks at you?”
She scoffed. “Now you’re joking. I’ve been trying to get him to look at me for a year. He only sees me as a sisterly figure.” She held up a hand, refusing my protests. “He told me so, Molly. I’ve tried everything. Remember when I tried dating that one guy from the Ministry? I was just trying to make him jealous. Oh, and I never really had a broken leg. That was just a ruse to see if he’d fall for the damsel in distress.”
I have always called myself observant, which I am, but I never guessed any of that.
A sigh fled her lips. It was full of hopelessness, finality, and surrender.
“Maybe he’s right.”
I allowed my face to show my shock. “Excuse me?”
She shrugged. “Maybe he’s too old for me. Maybe we really don’t make such a smart match.”
She had spoken my very thoughts out loud, but hearing them from her was so different. Seeing this woman who had fatally offered her heart to a man who wouldn’t accept it suddenly question herself was enough to change my mind. I temporarily swallowed my beliefs on the matter.
“Nymphadora Tonks, this is the first time in my life I have ever heard you give up unless you are cooking. I am disappointed.”
Her face twisted as if the tea were sour. “Don’t you think I am too? I’ve been holding on to this heartless hope for too long. What good has it done for me?”
“A lot more than any giving up will do! Tonks, don’t let this happen. He’s taking everything from you. Your heart, your appearance, your demeanor, and your life are all changing because of him. Hope is the one thing you should never give up. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve seen how looks at you. Every time you’re absent, he’s the first to ask where and how you are. Have you noticed how he looks these days? He’s no better off than you are.”
“Yeah, but he has…”
“Lycanthrope? My dear, this isn’t a monthly illness. His countenance has been severely changed for months now. He only told you he thought of you as a sister is because he thinks being a werewolf makes him unworthy of you. He doesn't understand how much you love him. ”
Her eyes grew wide and filled with tears, even though I thought she could cry no more. Her lower lip trembled, and I saw a shred of hope return to her eyes. Relief and fatigue forced sobs from her body, and I moved around the table to hold her. Making circles on her back with my hands, I allowed a complete soaking of my shirt. The poor child, er, woman, let out her pent up feelings. Her breathing became erratic as she tried to stop the steady flow of tears and failed. With my eyes closed, I imagined she was Ginny crying after that fiasco with Riddle's diary.
Eventually, she pulled away and used her sleeve to wipe her face. I gave her some tissues from the little supply in my pocket. I could see her beginning to apologize and held up my hand. "It's healthy to cry."
I heard an honest laugh and smiled. "Healthy?"
"Yes!" I nodded to show emphasis. "It releases emotions which can often lead to stress."
She burned the used tissues with her wand and sniffed. "Thanks, Molly." It saddened me to watch what little mirth was in her face leave. "I haven't felt the remotest bit happy in a long time. Just thinking of him makes me..." She sniffed again and grabbed another tissue.
"Any time you need to talk, dear, you know where I am."
She nodded. "Thank you." She timidly peaked from behind her hair. "Umm, Molly? Who else... knows?"
"No one to my knowledge. Well, except Arthur. You know I tell him everything."
"Does he agree with Remus?"
"No, he agrees with me."
"And how do you feel?"
I was saved from answering as someone knocked thrice on my door.