The first time they met was not story book love at first sight. But neither was it the tumultuous relationship they shared for years. It was the innocence of two children, about to embark on a journey; and whether they felt it or not in those first few moments, their paths would be forever entwined. Their destinies were united.
This was their beginning.
~o~
Tiny and wide eyed, Lily wrung her hands nervously as she was bumped from side to side as the group of first years were ushered towards the water into the rickety boats. Plucking up her courage as she viewed the lights of her unknown future twinkling in the distance, she gingerly stepped into the boat closest to her. It wobbled threateningly but she maintained her balance and, feeling more confident at seeing the anxious expressions surrounding her, chose an unoccupied seat.
A plump, watery-eyed boy hopped in clumsily after her and the whole structure plunged dangerously to the side as his full weight landed, causing its occupants to abruptly topple over. Lily saw her alarmed face reflected in the dark water for a fleeting moment before a hand grabbed her arm and she was pulled unceremoniously back into the vessel. Everyone froze as the vessel rocked to and fro before steadying itself, and then they looked at one another smiling hesitantly.
“Oh…uh…sorry ‘bout, sorry ‘bout that,” muttered the plump boy as he sat nervously, his eyes twitching back and forth between Lily and her rescuer.
Brushing her mussed, crimson hair from her face, Lily smiled warmly at him and his worried eyes seemed to calm a little. She opened her mouth to speak as the voice next to her began to chuckle.
“Don’t worry about it, mate. What did you say your name was?”
Still trying to straighten herself out she glanced to the side and saw it was the timid-looking boy she’d seen earlier. Now she could get a proper look at him she realized he had a head of unruly black hair and warm hazel eyes. His face was genial and his smile made him look both friendly and mischievous all at once.
“Peter,” the round boy piped up, his shrill voice drawing Lily’s green eyes back to him once more, “I’m Peter Pettigrew.”
“Hullo Peter, I’m James,” said the raven-haired boy, offering his hand amiably. They shook and he looked around to the rest of the group who began to nervously introduce themselves to one another, as the craft somehow commenced in propelling itself away from the shore.
Lily smiled as she met the petite, blonde haired girl next to her, and turning back to the sociable boy on her other side, smiled again as they met eyes.
“Sorry about, you know, nearly launching you out of the boat,” he joked.
She laughed good-naturedly, “Thanks for catching me. You’ve quick reflexes; I would have been half-soaked before I could have caught myself.”
He beamed at her and held out his hand, “Well either way, as long as the giant squid didn’t get you. James Potter.”
“Lily Evans,” she replied, flashing him a curious grin as she took his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.
They fell quiet for a moment and James was watching the twinkling lights grow closer when she spoke again, “Did you say … ‘giant squid’?”
“Hm?” he answered distractedly, still peering at the lights before focusing back on her, “Oh, yeah. Dad said there’s a giant squid that lives in this lake.”
Suddenly the chatter on the boat was silenced and glancing around curiously, he grinned deviously at seeing their paled faces. “Yeah, actually there are loads of dangerous creatures around Hogwarts,” he continued loudly, turning back to Lily and pretending not to notice their attention.
“Wha”what kind of dangerous creatures?” squeaked Peter, and James smirked at the group, his eyes lingering on Lily an extra moment, giving his new friend an extra wide smile.
She listened to his tales, highly intrigued by the possibility of all the secrets Hogwarts had in store for her. She was quite as interested as the others, but also rather amused as she watched him animatedly telling of a variety of mystical creatures. James Potter certainly had a way with entertaining the masses, she thought to herself. His performance was flawless; he knew exactly where to pause so the group could gasp at a particularly gruesome fact about werewolves, or squirm uncomfortably as he detailed a highly unlikely story of a student mysteriously disappearing in the dark of night, with multiple witnesses claiming to have seen a pack of centaurs galloping back into the Forbidden Forest.
When he launched into a story of an unwary student who had stumbled into the forest during lunch break only to find himself face to face with a vampire, Lily suddenly interrupted him, impulsively voicing her musings allowed, “I admit I’m new to magic, but I thought vampires slept during the day and attacked at night because they couldn’t stand the sun,” she looked up to find all faces now focused on her, she blushed and continued, “or…or something.”
The others glanced back and forth between Lily and James in confusion, but he stared at her curiously, searching her face as if seeing her for the first time. She began to feel very self-conscious with all their attentions when suddenly James spoke again, “Well yes, of course vampires have to stay away from the sun, but he was in the forest you see, so all the trees were blocking the light.”
“Oooh,” Peter murmured, his eyes wide as he drank in every word from James. Lily quickly looked around at the rest of the students, their faces all now fully immersed on James once more, their admiration and anticipation clear as they waited eagerly for him to continue his daunting story.
Glancing back she caught James’ eyes on her again and they shared a knowing smile, both silently acknowledging the other, before he took another dramatic breath and carried on with his tale. She was only half-listening now, reflecting on how quickly her newfound acquaintance had thought on his feet. He was rather clever she decided, even if he was a bit showy for his own good. James quickly wrapped up his story as they reached the other shoreline and the group carefully clambered out of the boat, James discreetly helping Peter down to save the boy from further embarrassment. He didn’t do it to show off or to impress anyone with his kindness, but she saw it and he instantly gained her respect, though he missed her small, surprised smile as he winked secretly at Peter.
As the rest of the students followed the bobbing lanterns toward the large castle looming ahead, Lily turned back for a moment, admiring the lake they had voyaged across. Something splashed in the distance and peering through the darkness she could have sworn she saw light from the moon reflect off of a large tentacle falling lazily back into the water. Eyes wide in surprise she turned to see James Potter wearing an expression of astonishment to mirror her own. They both gave short laughs of disbelief, sharing this extraordinary moment of revelation. With two furtive glances behind them, the pair hurried quickly away from the water’s edge and towards the safety of the group.
Maybe Hogwarts did have a few surprises in store for them after all.
~o~
How had she gone from understanding and even slight admiration of her new friend to extreme abhorrence of the boy she now knew so well?
~o~
He tumbled through the portrait hole looking around quickly and spotting the small red-head, plopped himself onto the sofa across from her.
“Hey there, Evans!”
She did not even glance up from her book.
“Don’t you ever take a break from studying?”
No answer.
“You ought to come join us outside; everyone else is playing in the snow. You’re missing all the fun!”
She turned the page mutely in reply.
He twitched uncomfortably, “What did I do this time? I don’t remember…oh,” he finished lamely as she raised her right hand and pointed down to her shoes without even raising her eyes from the page.
Her tiny Mary Janes were barely visible through the sticky maroon goo that had cemented her to the north hallway for an hour before she had finally cried Liberatio!*. She had nearly screamed the spell in frustration and actually fell over from the force, banging her head on a statue of Douglas the Diffident, as she was finally released from the sap’s grip.
“Oh come on now Evans, it was just a joke for Merlin’s sake.”
At this she finally glared up at him and he saw the bandage on her forehead from where she had crashed into the statue.
“Oh, that wasn’t from… was it?” he asked timidly, pointing to her head.
She slapped down his finger irritably, “Of course not, Potter. I’ve just always wanted to take a nose dive into a statue.”
“Right,” he mumbled, carefully avoiding her caustic expression. She bent to pick a quill from her bag and he suddenly remembered, “Evans wait!” as she let out a tiny yelp, pulling her hand quickly from the bag, her finger swelling immediately.
Lily was positively fuming when she looked back up at him this time and as he took in her full appearance from the ruined shoes to her angry face he couldn’t help but let out a short snigger, for she was red from her hair, to her heated face, her school uniform, to her now, throbbing red finger and sap covered shoes. He realized his mistake too late, choking on the laugh as she turned on her heel and stormed up the stairs, slamming the dormitory door.
~o~
That was how.
She could take a joke, far better than most eleven-year-old girls can, but she had taken more than enough from him over her first year to have travelled far beyond her realm of understanding.
As the sorting hat screamed out “GRYFFINDOR!” she had cheered and clapped with the others as James had come and claimed the seat next to her. The first few weeks she enjoyed his company and having him as her friend as well as anyone else. All was going quite well in her opinion, that is, it was, until the first time she had walked through the common room door to find herself drenched in something cold and slimy. The room had become startlingly silent before bursting into laughter, and trying to be a good sport she had even chuckled nervously, hiding the hurt as she saw Sirius give a gleeful high-five to none other than James Potter.
However, by the end of that week, when she had found herself on the wrong end of James’ pranks twice more, she was definitely losing patience. Why was he picking on her? Weren’t they friends after all?
Three pranks later, her favourite book bag burping slugs seemed to confirm he really hadn’t wanted to be her friend after all.
Four more, as she woke up in the branches of the giant tree outside her dorm room window, had convinced her she didn’t want to be his either.
And that was how the lovely friendship that had begun with two smiles on the waves of the Black Lake was ended in a matter of a few months. It was merely a little boy finding more clever ways to pull her pigtails on the playground. Of course, neither understood this, and as his enthusiasm for their ‘fun’ blossomed, so did her enmity.
But eventually, all little boys grow tired of simply pulling and pushing at little girls, and that is where our story picks up once more. Four years later, on the shore of the same lake, with James and Lily once more at each others’ throats, and two scrawny, pallid legs dangling unmercifully above a pair of worn, grey underpants.
~o~
“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can “ I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”**
She turned and stormed away, ignoring him, as he called after her. Lily kept her head held high and face dry through the castle, up the stairs, and through the portrait hole. But with the click of her dormitory door firmly closed behind her, the tears poured from her eyes as she fell upon her bed and burrowed deeply into her pillows, the sounds of her heart’s sorrow muffled from the world.
A few hours later at dinner, her face washed, and her hair combed, he could see no traces of the pain she had felt. No signs that he had affected her in the least. All he saw was her happy smile as she laughed with her friends, and then the way her face turned cold as she passed him by.
~o~
Her disdain only fuelled his desire to impress her.
His attempts to win her affection only intensified her conviction that he did not really care.
It seemed they were at an impasse; neither was willing to lower their guard, and thus they continued to destroy their only possibility of gaining what they really desired, understanding of the other.
Although they were no longer children, they were still far more naïve and confused than they would ever have believed. For behind his empty gestures lay a growing admiration for the girl who refused to tolerate him, and behind her scorn, a long buried perception that there was more to him than extravagance and conceit.
Truly, he was still the little boy that had looked at her curiously when she had recognized his story for what it was, and she was still the little girl who had grinned back.
No, things were not as simple as they seemed; their story was far from over, and now, fate had given them a nudge.
~o~
The train began to chug out of Kings Cross Station and sitting alone in the Head’s compartment, Lily watched Platform 9 ¾ disappear. She waited for quite some time, wondering where her partner could be, and finally her restless night of anticipation caught up with her, and the train’s soothing movement lulled her into a gentle sleep.
She didn’t wake as he entered the compartment, and he made no effort to rouse her. He sat quietly and watched her chest peacefully rise and fall from afar. It was not often he saw Lily without her defences high, and the change in her peaceful face had him mesmerized. It was only when a confused prefect knocked on the door that her eyes fluttered open and while James whispered some short instructions, she gaped at him from behind; sure her groggy mind must be playing tricks on her.
He turned and froze at seeing her awake.
“You,” she stated simply, her eyes flashing down to his badge and then back up to his face in wonder.
He smiled calmly, “Me.”
She watched apprehensively as he bent to pick up his small bag, her defences now soaring, her eyes wary, waiting.
“Well, onto the prefects’ compartment then?” he asked, opening the small door for her. “They’ve been waiting for us.” When she didn’t react he only smiled comfortingly.
“That’s it?” she asked finally, the words spilling out unintentionally.
The comforting smile drooped slightly and she was confused to see sadness behind his usually playful eyes. “Well, what were you expecting?” He instantly regretted these words, as they both well knew what she anticipated, but they were out, lingering in the tense air between them.
What did she expect? What didn’t she expect from him? She expected to have been asked out by now. She expected to find something stuck in her hair from when she had slept. She expected to be tripped as she left the compartment. She expected something.
“I promise there’s no stink sap waiting behind this door,” he offered, lightening the mood.
She smiled slightly and then stood hesitantly, and left the compartment without replying, still trying to make sense of their exchange. He watched her leave and then glancing back into the room, sighed, and closed the door behind him.
~o~
Another year had come and gone and, to the casual observer, nothing seemed to have changed. He had still teased her and asked her out and she had still grimly refused him. He had still pulled pranks and she had still rebuffed him.
But what no one else saw during the past summer was that as he reached the brinks of his adulthood, his determination grew; his desire to be everything for her overcame his childish pushing and pulling, and he became a man; a man that she did deserve and a man that deserved her.
And it would not be long before she finally saw this, for unbeknownst to both, she had been waiting for it.
Everything was about to change.
~o~
It was a few days before Halloween, and as Lily left the Great Hall early hoping to spend a couple of hours in the library before evening patrols, she had unexpectedly found herself hovering at the top of the stairs, watching an amazing scene unfold, unnoticed by those below.
Snape had his wand out, pointed straight at James’ heart. Sirius had his wand out as well, Remus’ presence was noticeably absent as he had disappeared again the day before, and Peter watched from behind, his beady eyes still entranced on James with the same admiration he had shown over half a decade ago as James the boy had recounted stories of monsters.
James however, was not cursing Snape, was not dangling him by his foot, and wasn’t even sneering; he was standing calmly, his hands at his sides, though Lily could see his jaw tightening as he longed to do more than behave rationally.
“You think you’re a bloody hero, don’t you?” spat Snape, leering as his wand twitched in anticipation, “Think you did something noble, eh? Saved me?”
“Look,” said James, clearly struggling to remain calm, “It was a prank that went too far. It’s over. Lower your wand and walk away.”
“You’re not a hero though, you’re just a coward. You know that?” continued Snape, his teeth bared.
Lily saw James’ hand twitch toward his wand, but he didn’t react fully to the taunt.
“You shouldn’t have stopped it. You should have let it happen. Then everyone would know what you are. They would all see you as I do “ a fake.”
“You would have been torn to pieces, you pathetic little wretch,” yelled Sirius angrily, his eyes wild.
“Sirius, be quiet,” said James softly but sternly, his eyes not leaving his adversary.
Snape merely glanced at Sirius before glaring once more at James, “Well, I know what he is now, don’t I?” he sneered, “And I can tell everyone his secret. That would be quite the blow wouldn’t it? He’ll surely be kicked out of Hogwarts, at the least; mummies and daddies won’t want their precious little kiddies here with a werewolf gallivanting around.”
Lily felt her breath catch as the words echoed up to her. Sirius yelled and started to move forward but James grabbed hold of his arm and stopped him before he could call a hex. Peter let out a little squeal, pressing himself farther into the corner and James turned back to Snape who was now nearly shaking with excitement.
“Leave Remus out of this, he had no part in it; this is between us. Always has been,” stated James slowly and clearly.
“Dumbledore could even get sacked for letting him in here,” said Snape, clearly not listening, his eyes growing maniacal, as his voice became a low, reverent whisper, “There are those out there against Dumbledore -- powerful wizards who’ll destroy him, and will bring you down with him, mark my words…”
At this exact moment Dumbledore strode in the midst of the group, his presence powerful as the four boys froze.
“Severus. I would like to have a few words with you in my office, if you would do me the favour of heading there now, I will join you momentarily,” said Dumbledore cheerfully, as if Snape was simply enjoying a few Butterbeers with friends and not pointing his wand menacingly.
Snape looked terrified of the old man, but without a glance at anyone else, turned and stormed away to the Headmaster’s office.
Dumbledore waited for him to leave and then turned to Sirius and stated calmly, “Mr. Black, I think it would be a good idea for you and Mr. Pettigrew to return to your common room now.”
Sirius was breathing heavily, his eyes still burning, but he nodded obediently to Dumbledore before turning on his heel, with Peter scampering silently behind. When they too were gone, Dumbledore turned to the remaining Head Boy.
James seemed to have been holding back as long as he could for the words suddenly burst out of him, “Professor, he’s going to tell everyone. Remus didn’t know about it, he didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t let him be punished for our mistakes.”
Dumbledore waited patiently for James to finish and then smiled, with that familiar twinkle in his eye, and gestured for James to take a seat on the steps. Lily silently moved backward, concealing herself behind the wall as she heard Dumbledore begin,
“Mr. Potter, I am going to speak to Severus about this very matter in a few minutes. I assure you he will not relate the secret to a soul,” James let out a deep breath and Dumbledore smiled before continuing, “I am also very well aware that Mr. Lupin was completely ignorant of what was planned for Severus last night, just as I am well aware that you also had no prior knowledge of Sirius’ prank.” James looked down modestly and Dumbledore continued, “Pay no heed to Severus’ remark; he is, of course, upset by the ordeal. But you are not a coward. You saved his life and whether he likes it or not, he is now in your debt.”
Lily blinked and tried to make sense of everything she had just heard. Remus was a werewolf, and Sirius had tried to pull a dangerous prank on Snape but James had… saved him?
“You showed me tonight what I’ve known for quite some time, that I was indeed correct in naming you our Head Boy. I am proud of what you did last night, as I am of the control you showed me just now,” he considered James silently for a minute, his head tilted, and James squirmed slightly under the Headmaster’s intense scrutiny. “Your loyalty to your friends and your bravery will be gifts we may look to very soon; there are dark days ahead of us, James.”
James nodded solemnly and clapping his hands, Dumbledore suddenly smiled and stood, “Well, I will not bore you with an old man’s musings any longer. I think that concludes our business for the night.”
James stood up as Dumbledore turned to leave.
“Ah, I nearly forgot,” said the Headmaster, his voice light and cheery once more.
“Yes, sir?” asked James.
But Dumbledore did not address him, “Ms. Evans,” he called up the stairs.
Lily gulped, how did he always know? Slowly she appeared from the shadows and felt the heat in her cheeks as her face flushed, abashed at being caught, and as if in response, James’ face blanched a ghastly white.
“Am I right in assuming everything you’ve heard tonight will stay between the three of us?” asked Dumbledore, his mouth forming a crooked smile as he peered at her over the top of his spectacles and awaited her response.
“Of… of course,” she stuttered, taken aback that she was not being lectured for eaves dropping on the Headmaster’s private conversation.
“Excellent,” said Dumbledore merrily, and without another word turned and left the two figures to stare warily at one another.
Finally Lily worked up the courage and started, “James…” but as she spoke, the halls began to flood with students finishing dinner, and seeing them he gave her a quick nod and strode away down the corridor.
She watched his retreating form and then collapsed on the top step, ignoring the strange stares she received as her peers passed her by.
~o~
And that was it. That was the moment when she really knew.
She had seen and heard more than enough to have her intuitions confirmed. Before her very eyes, he had shown her the man she had been waiting for him to become. He had been strong, controlled, and loyal.
At this moment the journeys the two had embarked upon so long ago were tantalizingly close to joining.
She knew who she wanted to share her future with. And she knew that somehow, she had always known.
~o~
They patrolled the corridor in silence that evening, the events of a few hours before hanging heavily in the air between them.
As James turned the last corner of their guard, Lily froze. She could take it no longer. Her opportunity was here, staring her in the face and she would not let it pass her by. This moment had waited for far too long already.
James turned curiously, and seeing the intensity of her face, his own became serious. The two stood at opposite ends of the hallway like statues, simply gazing at one another before Lily finally stated calmly, “I think we ought to talk about what happened earlier.”
James watched her a minute more before turning his face away and she moved towards him until they were only inches apart, and he was forced to look back at her.
“You heard everything?” he asked solemnly.
She nodded and he looked down, a mixture of emotions on his face, unsure of which he was feeling the most.
“You were amazing,” she whispered, and he looked up startled.
This was not the direction he had anticipated the conversation heading. Fighting in the corridors, that was a given; ganging up on Snivellus, of course, a usual for them; and concealing a werewolf, well that would have been a first, but this?
“What?” he finally asked in confusion.
She swallowed slowly before responding, “The way you stayed composed, the way you kept Sirius in check. The way you protected Remus and even saved Snape…” she trailed off for a minute before looking back up at him, “You’re different this year,” she finished softly and he looked down again.
“I didn’t… I really wanted to hurt him, Lily. I wanted to make him pay,” he clenched his fist tightly around his wand. “The only thing holding me back…” he stopped himself abruptly and she leaned closer.
“What?” she whispered; her bright eyes wide at the sincerity of the moment.
Both of their defences were down at last; for the first time in years, they were truly sharing a piece of themselves with the other.
Slowly he raised his eyes back to hers once more and said huskily, “The only thing holding me back was you.”
Lily took a step back and stared at him in disbelief, but he quickly reached over, taking her hand and for a moment they both paused and looked down at the connection; it was such a rush of power and intensity through their bodies that both could feel something coming. He pulled her closer and finished what he knew he had to say,
“I was a git,” he said simply and she let out a small laugh of surprise, but he shook his head, still peering at her intimately, “No, I was. I know that now. It was childish. It was just that… I didn’t know…I didn’t know how to make you see how much I cared.” His thumb absentmindedly caressed her hand and feeling her heart pound against her lungs, she suddenly realized how people could feel light-headed in situations like this; she nearly had to remind herself to breathe. He continued on again, this time a bit more boldly as she hadn’t pushed away at his confession, “It was as if the harder I tried, the more I drove you away… it felt like things couldn’t get worse and then I’d muck it up again…”
She took a step closer, feeling brazen and her movement silenced him. “It’s okay, James. I understand now,” she closed her eyes and shook her head sadly, “We’ve both been so blind, all this time…” her long lashes swept up as she found his eyes once again.
The gaze between them was so strong and they were so close.
“I’m in love with you, Lily,” he said softly.
Her heart leapt at his words. It didn’t matter that she had thought he might say it, that she had imagined this moment before; but hearing him confess it to her was more powerful than she had ever imagined. She really did forget to breathe for a moment this time and finally taking a shaky breath she smiled at him,
“I know,” she said quietly, “I love you, too.”
And with that, he finally leaned down to kiss her.
~o~
With that first kiss their destinies had finally united. The paths merged and their futures became one.
It was not a fairytale ending, just as it had not been a story book beginning. The two were simply now ready; both had needed to follow this journey to fully cherish what they could now share together.
No, kissing in an empty corridor may not be the fairytale reserved for bedtime stories. It may not be what dreams are made of. And it may not have even been what the two envisioned when they both wished for this moment.
But to them, it was magical. To them, it was what dreams were made of. What their dreams were made of.
It was their fairytale.
* Liberatio is Latin for ‘release’. My own little creation.
** This is of course a quote from JKR in the OOTP, US ed. Pg. 648
Special thanks to stickm for the last minute beta!
Author's Note: I really just wanted to find a way to realistically, well, as realistically as the world of Harry Potter allows that is, portray how two people could follow the journey Jo has hinted at. I hope it seemed as plausible to you as it did to me, and I look forward to your feedback. I take seriously every review I receive and appreciate your time. As always, thank you for the read.
Yours, the marauder.