CHAPTER TEN: Quaffles and Questions
“How do you keep it a secret?”
Remus nearly choked on his cornflakes as Lily clambered onto the bench opposite the table from him. She handed him a napkin and repeated herself: “I mean, seriously. How do you keep it a secret?”
His face flushed and his eyes darted from side to side. Oh God, she knows! “Keep what a secret?” he asked, mentally cursing his voice for squeaking when he was trying so hard to remain calm.
“You know... You! Your condition!” She said, gesturing at him.
Remus felt his palms get sweaty, though he wished for some of that moisture for his throat, as it had gone completely dry. “I, um, I guess I still don’t understand what you’re asking,” he said, staring intently at his cornflakes. Could she see him sweat?
“Magic, silly! Being a wizard! How do you keep it secret from your Muggle friends?”
“Oh, that,” he said, relieved that air had once again found its way to his lungs.
“Yeah,” responded Lily, raising one eyebrow. “What did you think I was talking about?”
“Nothing,” he said hastily, stuffing his mouth with another bite of cereal.
“OK. Well, you went to a Muggle primary school, right?” She continued as he nodded. “So your friends must have expected you to go on to their secondary school, right? But you obviously didn’t. So what do you tell them?”
He smiled and shrugged. “Well, to be perfectly honest, Lily, I didn’t have many friends from primary school. And the few I did have... Well, I guess I just told them I was going away to boarding school. Pretty simple, really.”
She sighed and filled her goblet with juice. “I guess so. I just... Sometimes I feel like I can’t even write letters to my old friends, because I think I’ll accidentally mention some Charm and have to explain myself. Don’t you ever get tired of keeping secrets?”
Remus almost started laughing despite Lily’s serious tone. How ironic was it that Lily was concerned about keeping the comparatively tiny secret of being a witch when he was forbidden to tell anyone about being a werewolf! Not that his burden made him special, or anything. Well, he was special, of course, but not above anyone else. But Lily’s question made something inside him stir. He was suddenly seized with the desire to confess everything to her, to rid himself of his own secret. She would understand, right? She wouldn’t be scared, she wouldn’t recoil in fear. He could tell her. He needed to tell her....
He just sat with his mouth open, as if he were about to speak. Lily was starting to look at him, and her left eyebrow began to raise as it did when she was confused. The words were at the tip of his tongue. They were right there. Everything he had been keeping inside for so long was just about to burst forward!
But of course, his rational side prevailed, and finally he just shrugged again in response to her question.
After a brief moment of silence, he decided to change the subject. “What do you think of classes so far?”
It was now September 7th, and Remus could hardly believe that a full week had already passed.
Lily looked pensive for a second and then said, “Well, I really like Charms still. It sounds like we’ll be learning some really good stuff this year. And Potions, too. And I think Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be... interesting, let’s say.”
“More like complete and total rubbish,” came a familiar voice from over Lily’s shoulder. She and Remus looked up to see Sirius slam his books onto the table and hop onto the bench. James soon followed suit, plopping down next to Remus. Peter was not far behind, though he didn’t look as miffed as his two comrades.
“Defense Against the Dark Arts. Defense! Not defensive theory!” whined James, loading his plate with bacon and sausages. “Why can’t she understand that? Viridian did!”
Lily laughed. “Oh come on, James. Last year was hardly about defense, either. Professor Viridian taught us offense, and you know it!”
“Yeah, you’re right, and we’re much the wiser for it,” he huffed. “Better to learn how to do the hexes than to learn about them, am I right?”
“Absolutely!” answered Sirius, stealing a sausage off James’s plate. “This Professor... I don’t even know her name, that’s how boring the class is.”
“Benton,” supplied Remus.
“Thanks, mate. Anyway, how does she expect us to learn anything?”
“Maybe she’s just nervous,” said Peter thoughtfully. “I mean, she doesn’t look very old; this is probably her first teaching job.”
Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but apparently could not think of anything to say.
James, on the other hand, still had plenty of grievances to air. “What happened to Professor Viridian, anyway? He was great!”
“Yeah, and he never said anything about leaving!” Sirius added.
“Maybe it’s the Curse of the Dark Arts job,” said Gwendolyn, who had just shown up and was sitting down next to Lily.
“Oh, that’s just a load of rubbish. The job isn’t cursed!” said Remus to Gwendolyn, who just raised her eyebrows in challenge.
“You don’t think so?” she asked.
“No! It’s not a teapot or a deck of cards, it’s a job! How can it be cursed?” Remus responded.
“How do you explain all the different teachers, then?” Gwendolyn was quick to point out.
“He probably just had to go back to publishing,” Lily said, stopping the argument before it could progress any farther. Gwendolyn was becoming notorious for talking one’s ears off during an argument, and Lily thought it best to avoid such a show before breakfast had even finished. “Those hex books don’t write themselves, you know.”
“Actually, they might, but that’s completely beside the point,” countered Sirius, pointing his spoon at Lily.
“Sorry, what was the point again?” asked Gwendolyn.
For the second time that breakfast (and possibly in his entire life), Sirius seemed to not have anything to say. “I don’t actually remember,” he finished lamely.
“Something on your mind, Sirius?” asked Gwendolyn, surveying him over the rim of her goblet.
“Quidditch tryouts are today,” answered James. “After classes let out.”
“And you’re both trying out?” Lily asked the boys, who both nodded. “Are you, Remus? Or you, Peter? Or any of the girls, too, I suppose?”
Her inquiry was met with a chorus of nos.
“You decided not to give it a try, Gwendolyn?” Sirius asked, looking a bit disappointed.
“Yeah, I realized that I’m a much better spectator than player. And I think the only position I would want would be Keeper, and I doubt Jack Daltrey is going anywhere this season, seeing as he’s Captain.”
Sirius groaned. “I forgot about him. That really doesn’t leave very many open spots at all!”
“Just two at Chaser and one Beater, with the team as it stands now,” she supplied.
This time it was James’s turn to groan, and he did so with gusto. “I don’t suppose Michael McKinnon is likely to give up on the sport anytime soon, is he? I’d love to be Seeker.”
“Oh, I hope he doesn’t! He’s so good!” Peter chimed in from his spot next to James.
“Thanks, Pete. Just what I wanted to hear,” James said morosely, twirling his spoon around his bowl of porridge.
Peter blushed a little. “Well, all I was saying is wouldn’t it be fun to do something different? I think being a Beater would be wicked.” He looked around the table for support.
“It would be a good form of anger management, I guess,” said Remus, grinning slightly, “But I don’t like the job hazards. Those Bludgers will knock you out faster than one of Professor Binns’s lectures!”
“Speaking of...” Lily said over the chorus of laughter as she peered at her wristwatch, “We’re going to be late for first period if we don’t leave soon.”
Now everyone groaned, gathered up his or her parcels, and trudged off in the direction of History of Magic”taking a few sausages with, of course!
***
“That was excellent, Potter, but didn’t you hear me say we’re not looking for a Seeker right now? Mike’s doing just fine, and we’d like to keep him, if you don’t mind.”
Jack Daltrey, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, put down his bullhorn, kicked up off the ground and flew up to meet James. Better to have this conversation one-on-one.
“Honestly, James, you’ve got talent. You fly really, really well, and I’d love to have you on the team. You’d be a great asset. But it’s going to be as Chaser or nothing else, understand?”
“There’s no such thing as Co-Seeker? Splitting the matches?” James asked, only half joking. He was flattered, of course, but at the same time quite disappointed.
“Nope. No such thing. Sorry, mate. But I think you’ll be bloody good at Chaser. Just give it a try.” Daltrey tossed James the Quaffle and sped to the other end of the pitch, waiting to defend his goalposts.
James tossed the Quaffle back and forth in his hands. He had always liked playing Chaser when he played with his dad or Sirius. And yes, it wasn’t Seeker, but it was still a place on the team. He looked across the pitch, his eyes narrowing in on the three hoops. He could do this. No sweat. Immediately he felt his mind shift into “Quidditch Mode.” This time, however, instead of keeping his eyes peeled for the Snitch, he found himself analyzing Daltrey’s every move, and figuring out the best way to get the Quaffle through the hoops.
He took off, the Quaffle light in his hands, the breeze cool on his face. He was flying straight at Daltrey, crouched low over his broom, and staring his potential Captain squarely in the face while he circled the goal posts. But all the time he was making mental notes of Daltrey’s moves around his periphery, noticing that he seemed to favor the left post and leave the right unguarded. After thirty more seconds of observation, James made the tiniest hint of flying left, and Daltrey bought it. At the last moment, however, James pulled a hard right on his broom and pelted the Quaffle through the goal post, then dove down to catch it before it hit the bottom of the pitch.
The whole affair had lasted less than a minute, but James could feel his heart thumping against his ribs in excitement. Daltrey flew down and clapped him on the back. “See?” he said, grabbing the Quaffle from James’s hands. “What did I tell you?”
James just grinned and shrugged. He heard Sirius call out to him, and slowly glided down to the ground, where a small gaggle of Gryffindors was watching the tryouts.
“You know if that had been me up there that you wouldn’t have gotten the Quaffle anywhere near the hoop, right?” Sirius asked, giving James a little nudge.
“Why don’t you try out, then, Sirius?” asked Lily. James hadn’t noticed her there, and his stomach did a little flip when he heard her voice”something he probably could not chalk up to flying. He shook it off, though, as he listened to Sirius’s answer.
“Oh, I did try out. I think I’m being considered for Chaser, too,” he said, scratching behind his ear as he always did when he was deep in thought.
“That’s great!” Gwendolyn said enthusiastically. “Chadwick told me they were hoping for two young Chasers so they could have something to build the team around for the future.”
Lily had been listening, but let her mind wander as Gwendolyn continued. She liked Quidditch, of course, but sometimes it was unbelievable how much these three talked about it. And Remus, too, but he wasn’t there. Come to think of it...
“Hey, does anyone know where Remus is?” she asked, not really noticing that she was interrupting their discussion. “Sorry,” she added hastily as they all looked at her abruptly.
“I’m right here,” came his familiar voice over her shoulder. She turned to see Remus striding over to the Gryffindor group, his schoolbag slung over his shoulder.
“Where were you?” asked James. “We thought maybe you were gone on one of those mysterious absences of yours!”
Nobody said anything for a few seconds. Sirius elbowed James in the stomach. Remus looked taken aback, and perhaps a bit nervous. Lily glared at James. They had all noticed his frequent absences, of course, but nobody had outright mentioned them like that, and certainly not in public!
Remus let out a bit of a chuckle and attempted to deflect the awkwardness. “I was just finishing up a bit of homework in the library. You can check with Madam Pince to verify that nothing mysterious was going on, if you’d like.” He chuckled again, and Lily definitely heard a twinge of nervousness in his laugh.
“Sirius would like that,” said Gwendolyn. “He fancies Madam Pince.”
Lily felt an immense wave of relief wash over her as everyone started laughing, including Sirius. And, most importantly, Remus. The awkward moment had passed, although all present were still left with some lingering questions...
***
A week later, Remus was actually gone on one of his “mysterious absences.” He had promised to help Lily with her Astronomy homework, but she could not find him anywhere. She was wandering around the common room, peering over the high-backed chairs and even under various tables. That is, until she realized how ridiculous she must have looked.
She was about to head back up to the girl’s dormitory when she saw James, Sirius, and Peter sitting in their usual corner. Figuring them to be good for a laugh, and better than star charts alone in her room, she headed over and sat down across from James. There weren’t too many people in the Common Room, but she made sure to keep her voice down anyway. She actually had a question she was burning to ask them, and there was no time like the present. “So, what do you all think about Remus?”
“You mean how he keeps leaving?” said James, looking visibly excited to take a break from his History homework. He blew on his parchment a few times to dry the ink, then hastily rolled it up and stuck his quill behind his ear. Sirius and Peter, too, looked up from their homework”not that it took much for them to be distracted.
“Right. I mean, his mum must be really sick!” she said, pulling her legs up and resting her chin on her knees.
“And his aunt, too. That’s what he’s told me a few times. Maybe it’s some horrible disease that runs in his family. Oh, I hope Remus doesn’t get sick!” said Peter, who was lying on his stomach next to James’s chair.
“It’s not ‘some horrible disease,’ Pete. Something about it just doesn’t feel right to me,” said Sirius, furrowing his brow.
James raised his eyebrows and turned toward his friend, his quill still perched jauntily behind his ear. “You think he’s lying?”
“No, not lying really,” said Sirius, shaking his head. “But I mean, I’ve seen his mum a bunch of times. They had me ‘round to their house once or twice this summer”whenever my mum would let me out. And Mrs. Lupin always seemed perfectly healthy to me.”
“Maybe she’s just recently become sick?” Peter suggested, though it was clear none of them believed it.
Lily scrunched her face up. “Right, maybe, but didn’t he say that she was sick last year, too?”
The three boys all nodded.
“So we think he’s definitely covering up for something?” James asked, looking from person to person.
Sirius shook his head again. “I just don’t understand what he would have to be covering up, though. You’d think he’d be able to tell us! We are his best friends, after all.”
“Maybe it’s something that embarrasses him,” said Lily, racking her brain to think of what that something could possibly be.
“Doubt it. I mean, we embarrass each other all the time, and he never seems to mind that,” Sirius countered.
“Oh, that is true. Although I really wish you all wouldn’t have set off that Dungbomb in the corridor the other day,” said Peter. “It started to smell just as McGonagall was walking by, and she gave me a really strange look.”
James grinned. “But that's our newest invention! Time-release Dungbombs! They come in handy quite often.”
“OK, well I think there’s a big difference between ‘Time-release Dungbombs’ and something personal that he can’t share with us,” Lily said, rolling her eyes at their silly pranks, although Time-release Dungbombs did sound quite ingenious”not that she would ever admit it!
“Well, of course,” James said, looking a bit affronted. “I was just explaining... Oh, never mind,” he said as he waved his hand. “I agree that it’s probably something sensitive. I just wish he would tell us.”
“Me too,” said Sirius.
“Me three,” said Peter.
“Me four!” came Gwendolyn’s voice from over Lily’s shoulder. She leaned on the back of Lily’s chair. “Now, who do we wish would tell us what?”
They all looked at one another and a tacit agreement somehow formed, impelling them to not reveal what they were actually talking about.
“We, er...” started James, looking like he could use a good Time-release Dungbomb as a distraction. He glanced at Sirius for help.
“We wish you would tell us how you enchant yourself to stay awake in Professor Binns’s class, and if you’re willing to share your secret.” Sirius responded with his usual flair.
“Ah. Well, chums, that’s one secret I’ll take to the grave. Now who wants to go to dinner?”
Lily got up, glad to be doing something to distract herself from thinking about Remus. The whole matter was very suspicious....
Of Cauldrons and Comrades by LuthAn
Chapter Notes: Hello hello, dear readers! Welcome to Chapter Ten, where suspicion starts to heat up and you can finally believe me when I say I know James wasn't Seeker! :) Thanks to my fabulous beta Nielawen. If you read, I'd love to hear what you thought, so feel free to leave a review, or email/IM me. Happy reading!