CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Snapshots of a Year
October 30th, 1972
“ARGH! I am really at the end of my rope here,” Lily exclaimed as she slammed her Transfiguration book shut. “I already have extra inches in Herbology for killing my Puffer Plant, and now Professor McGonagall assigns me an additional essay because I can’t transfigure the bloody beetle, or button, or whatever the heck it is.”
“Gee, Lily, what happened to you? You used to be so smart,” Gwendolyn intoned sarcastically as she peered across the table from over her own mountain of homework.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t complain,” Lily said meekly as her shoulders sagged. “I know we all have a ton of work to do.”
“Literally,” Gwendolyn added.
“It’s just so hard to concentrate right now, you know? With all the preparations for Halloween.”
The Gryffindors were sitting in the Great Hall, trying their hardest to make the most of the evening. But all anyone could think about was Halloween the next day, and the exciting surprises the castle always held. And the feast! Oh, the feast....
“I don’t know why they insist on making such a fuss about my birthday, but really, you can’t blame them for wanting to celebrate glorious me,” Sirius said with a grin. His birthday was indeed on Halloween, and he had made this joke two years running. He was sitting next to Gwendolyn, and as he said this, she rolled her eyes.
“Sirius, I hate to tell you this, but someone has to: the world, contrary to popular belief, does not revolve around you. Trust me. You can even check your Astronomy textbook.” She used her quill to point to his open copy of Stars, Planets, and Other Celestial Bodies.
He frowned and shut his textbook to look at the cover, but his frown soon turned to a smile. “I disagree with you, dear Gwennie, and so does your very own evidence against me.”
She raised her eyebrows in challenge. “Oh it does, does it?”
“Yes. See, this book is about me, it says so right here: Stars, Planets, and Other Celestial Bodies. I am, after all, a celestial body. You can’t argue with fact.”
Gwendolyn laughed and gave Sirius a little shove on the shoulder. He just smiled back at her, and Lily thought she saw the slightest blush creep up “dear Gwennie’s” cheeks. She, Lily, found herself glancing over at James for some reason unbeknownst to her, but returned quickly to her own work as she found him staring right back. It was a little unnerving. And a little exciting....
Before Lily could think about the situation any more, Remus sat down next to her. He nodded a greeting to everyone and took his Transfiguration book out of his bag.
“Hey, wolf-man,” Sirius said, barely looking up from his work. As soon as he said this, James choked on the sip of water he was taking, and Remus went incredibly white.
Artemia, sitting next to Sirius, laughed. “Wolf-man? Why did you call him that?”
Sirius looked up abruptly from his book, caught the glances from Remus and James, and blinked a few times. He seemed to have been caught completely off guard. “Oh,” he started, the color draining from his cheeks now. “I call him wolf-man because he...”
“”snores really loudly,” James finished, sending dagger eyes at Sirius.
“Sorry, mate; didn’t want to expose your secret,” Sirius said, looking apologetically at Remus, though he had a bit of a smile on his face.
Remus seemed to have regained some of the color in his own face, and he shrugged good-naturedly. “It’s all right, Sirius. They would probably have found out eventually.”
For some reason, this gave Sirius a good laugh, and he chuckled sporadically for the next few minutes. James sent a few lingering glances at his giggling friend, then settled back into his work.
Lily hardly paid attention to the exchange; the boys had developed a habit of discussing the most random things. It was best to ignore them instead of trying to figure out what they were saying. She sighed as she looked over to what Remus was working on. “Oh, you got the extra Transfiguration homework, too?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged. “It’ll be good practice.”
“You’re always so calm about it!” she exclaimed. “You should have seen me just a few minutes ago; I think I had a little nervous breakdown.”
He just smiled. “Not really anything I can do about it, is there?”
“No, I guess you’re right. But don’t you ever just want to, I don’t know, shriek and holler and rage about?”
This sent Sirius into another fit of giggles, and got him more looks from James and Remus. He snorted an apology and once again buried his nose in his book. Lily noticed that James was also smiling, though, as he exchanged a glance with Peter.
“Sure I do, Lil,” Remus responded. “But I let out my anger in other ways,” he said with a wry smile.
Lily wasn’t sure at all what he meant, but she didn’t have time to respond before Sirius let out yet another loud guffaw.
Gwendolyn slammed her book shut and turned to Sirius. “All right, mate, let’s have it: what are you laughing at? Share with the rest, or go get your chuckles out somewhere else.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Gwennie,” he said, gathering up his things. “I didn’t mean to disturb your doodling.” He pointed at Gwendolyn’s parchment that was, in fact, more covered in squiggles and drawings than in words.
She blushed (definitely this time) and shoved the parchment under her book. “Fair point. Now skive off,” she said, wrinkling her nose playfully as Sirius stood from the table.
“Love to,” he said. “Well, chaps, I’m off to go count down the seconds until I turn the big one-three. Feel free to deliver my presents at the stroke of midnight; I’ll be in my room.”
“Oh, you were expecting presents?” Gwendolyn asked, directing her one last shot at his retreating form.
He turned around, his face serious, and he raised an admonishing finger at her. “Don’t even joke about that.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she responded, winking across the table at Lily. Lily knew for a fact that Gwendolyn had a very nice present for Sirius, actually. Lily and the boys had gone in for a nice gift certificate to Zonko’s in Hogsmeade, but Gwendolyn had opted not to join in their gift, insisting she had something else. Lily didn’t know what it was, but was sure it was very special.
However, she didn’t really have time to contemplate the possibilities. She flipped open her Transfiguration book, and tried her best to memorize the chart she found staring back at her.
As she copied down the chart for the umpteenth time, she resisted the urge to let out another “ARGH!”
***
October 31st, 1972
“Did you see what Gwendolyn got Sirius for his birthday?” Lily asked Remus as the two of them sat on a cold stone bench in the courtyard. They had a few hours to kill between the end of afternoon classes and the beginning of the Halloween feast, and although it was more than a little cold outside, they had decided to take a walk.
Remus shook his head as he pulled his slightly tattered coat tighter around his body.
“A Quaffle signed by Nigel Wrenn,” she said, pulling her wool hat down slightly to cover her ears, though it kept sliding right back up.
“Are you serious? How did she get that?”
“I guess he was at one of Professor Slughorn’s parties, and her brother Chadwick always goes to those, so he asked him to sign a Quaffle!”
“Does Wrenn just carry Quaffles around with him?” Remus asked with a laugh.
“Would that really surprise you?” she responded with a grin. Nigel Wrenn was an incredibly talented”and therefore incredibly cocky”professional Quidditch player.
“Gosh,” Remus sighed. “He is so good. You know he’s a lock for Chaser on the National Team for the Cup in two years.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. A lot of people are predicting the British side will be worse than the 1868 National Team, and that’s saying something.”
“Wow,” Remus said appreciatively and raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s been reading up on her Quidditch!”
Lily smiled and watched her breath condense in the frigid air. “Well, it’s kind of hard not to when that’s all James ever talks about,” she said through her grin. “And Sirius and Gwendolyn, too,” she added hastily.
Remus nodded and fiddled with a hole in the thumb of his glove. For a long moment, neither one spoke. While this would have made Lily feel awkward had she been with the other boys, or even Gwendolyn, with Remus silence was never weird. But there was something different about today. Lily couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but he was acting strange. Maybe he was just restless and excited for the Halloween Feast. Or maybe it was something else....
As if he could read her mind, Remus spoke. “Lily,” he began, his eyes pointed down at the ground, “I have something to tell you.”
She didn’t know why, but Lily was suddenly gripped by a powerful feeling of nervousness. “What’s up?” she asked, trying to remain calm as she turned to face him and scooted herself a bit forward on the bench.
He didn’t respond, and Lily thought that if he fiddled with the glove anymore, he’d just tear the thumb completely off. And she noticed his leg had started twitching, a sure sign that something was on his mind.
“Remus?” she prodded gently. Whatever it was he had to say”and it seemed like something big”she felt like she might have to coax it out of him.
“You want to take a walk?” he asked suddenly, hopping up from the bench.
“Well, we just came from a walk,” she responded, nodding in the general direction of their path.
“Oh, right,” said Remus, moving to sit down again.
“But let’s go again,” Lily said with a smile. “I’m starting to lose feeling in my legs anyway, it’s so cold out here!”
He gave a small smile and they moved in tandem back out to the grounds. Lily decided to give Remus some time, and didn’t push him to say whatever he had to say. But just when he finally opened his mouth to speak, they heard a familiar voice from behind: “Lily, that was a great Potions lesson this morning, don’t you think?”
Lily groaned inwardly, but turned around and smiled as she saw Gaspard Shingleton, a Ravenclaw boy who she often (unwillingly) partnered in Potions, trotting toward them. “Hey, Gaspard. Yeah, it was pretty fun,” she obliged.
He had now caught up with them. “I just wanted to see if I could secure your partnership for the next class. I talked to Professor Slughorn, and he assured me that the next potion will be quite difficult. I’ll need the best partner I can get if I want to be the first one done again!” He puffed out his chest with pride, reminiscent, in fact, of their Potions Professor himself.
Lily blushed at the praise, though a large part of her wanted to laugh at the way Gaspard gave said compliment. “Thank you, Gaspard, that really means a lot. And yes, I’d be honored to be your partner.”
“Spiffing. Absolutely spiffing. Well, I’ll let you get back to your walk. Au revoir, Lily. Goodbye, Remus,” he said as he turned on his heel, gave a little salute, and headed back up to the castle.
Remus and Lily both waved, and as soon as he was out of earshot broke into laughter. “You know, he may be a bit pompous, but he really is good at Potions,” Lily said as they continued their stroll.
Remus just nodded, and Lily was a little surprised at his silence. Normally the boys could always find something negative to say about Shingleton. This was disconcerting. She decided to pick up their previous train of conversation. “So, you had something to tell me?”
He nodded again, still silent. The grass was brown and dead beneath their feet, and for a moment Lily could hear nothing but the crunching of their boots on the ground and the wind whistling through the trees. It stung her cheeks as it whipped her face, and she felt her eyes fill with tears from the cold. She looked up, blinking away her tears, and realized they had meandered dangerously close to the Whomping Willow. “Oh, this tree gives me the willies. Let’s head closer to the lake,” she suggested.
Again, Remus said nothing, just stuck his hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t know why this is so difficult,” he said. “I told the boys just fine.”
Lily was beginning to get an inkling of what he had to say. Was he about to explain his “mysterious absences”? She prodded him again. “Remus, you know you can tell me anything. Out with it then, come on!”
“I’m a werewolf.”
Lily stopped in her tracks and felt her breath catch in her chest. Did he just say... She shook her head, trying to think of something to say, but no words came. What was she supposed to say? Was he serious?
As if he could read her mind, he spoke, turning his head slightly sideways to look at her. “I know that you probably don’t know what to say right now. That’s to be expected. I mean, it’s not everyday you meet a werewolf, right? I’m sorry it just came out like that, and I’m sorry to burden you with the knowledge. And if you don’t want to talk to me right now, I understand.” He gave her a little smile and shifted his gaze back to the ground.
As Lily looked at his face, she was moved beyond words. Here he was, a twelve-year old boy with this incredibly huge burden, and he still had the generosity to apologize to her. Tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes, and they weren’t from the wind this time. She wasn’t sure why, but the only thing she could think to do was envelop Remus in a giant hug, which she did.
He seemed a bit startled at first”Remus was not really the hugging type”but as Lily wrapped her arms tighter around him, she felt him relax into the embrace. “Well,” he said, his voice muffled by her shoulder, “this is certainly a different reaction than I got from the boys.”
For some reason this made Lily cry even harder, though her tears were now mingled with laughter. She didn’t want to let go, but she had questions. “Are you all right?” she asked, still clinging to his back.
“Yes. I’m suffocating a bit right now, but on the whole I’m great.”
She immediately released him and took a step back. “I’m sorry for the hug,” she apologized. “It was the first thing I thought of. Don’t really know why,” she laughed a bit and wiped away her tears on the rough wool of her coat sleeve. She sniffled, and the two of them just stood swaying slightly in the cold, neither knowing what to do next.
“When did this happen?” Lily finally thought of another question.
“When I was young. My parents and I lived in the country, and my dad...” His voice wavered and he trailed off, and Lily realized that maybe this was not the best line of questioning.
“It’s not important,” she said, giving him a little wave.
“No. I want to tell you,” he said resolutely. “I couldn’t tell the boys yesterday. I don’t know why. But it’s good to talk about it. I have every reason to be angry, so I just need to let it out.”
Lily nodded vehemently and Remus continued. “I was six. There was a wizard who lived near us named...” He paused, and cleared his throat, but when he spoke again, his voice trembled. “His name was Fenrir Greyback. And he and my dad got into a huge argument, about what I don’t know. I was too young to understand, and I haven’t really talked to my dad about it since.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Anyway, one night I was walking home from my friend’s house, and he just... he just came out of nowhere. It was horrible. We had no idea he was a werewolf... We didn’t know, we just didn’t know... I didn’t see him coming, he just jumped and...” Remus’s breath was coming in short gasps now, and he was shaking all over.
Lily watched as the blood drained from his face, and she was suddenly frightened. “Remus! Remus, you don’t have to talk about it. Just take deep breaths!” She grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “It’s OK.”
Little by little he stopped shaking and the color returned to his face, but he bowed his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I thought I was ready to talk about it, but I guess not.”
“It’s OK,” she repeated. “One day you can tell me the whole story.”
He nodded bravely and said, “Please don’t tell the boys his name. They’d probably hatch some stupid plan of revenge and then we’d all wind up werewolves.”
Lily smiled. It was probably true. “Of course.” She hadn’t taken her hands of his shoulders yet, and Remus still stood with his head bowed. It was only then that she realized how huge this news was. Every month for the rest of his life, Remus Lupin would transform into an animal, an animal with no human mercy, no human kindness, no human traits of any kind. He was capable of killing things, and he was only twelve years old. Lily shuddered. She wasn’t afraid of him, but she was suddenly aware that maybe she should be.
Before she could voice her concerns, though, Remus lifted his head and looked straight into her eyes. “Thank you, Lily,” he said.
She nodded, and felt a knot tighten in her throat. She bit her lip to keep from crying again, but she couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from her eyes. “I’m sorry I keep whimpering like a baby,” she said.
It was his turn to reassure her: “It’s OK.” He grinned. “But toughen up or I’ll bite you!”
Lily laughed, though she hoped he couldn’t tell that she was more than a bit nervous.
“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head ruefully and smiling. “That was a bad joke.”
“Yeah, it was.” She smiled, too, and without another word, they moved back up to the castle.
***
November 10th, 1972
“Great match yesterday, boys,” Gwendolyn said as the Gryffindors sat at breakfast one Sunday morning. Sirius, James, and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team had routed Hufflepuff 200-50.
“Yeah, we were pretty splendid, weren’t we?” Sirius asked as he stuffed his mouth full of sausage.
“And ever so modest,” Gwendolyn replied dryly. Sirius shrugged and poured himself another goblet of juice.
“So what’s in the news, Lily?” Peter asked as a mail owl delivered Lily’s copy of the Daily Prophet. It had become something of a ritual for them to go over the news every morning, and especially on Sunday when the Prophet did more in-depth stories.
“Yeah, Lil, give us the scoop,” Remus said from next to her. Lily knew he was transforming tomorrow”his first transformation since he had told her and the boys. She had paid particular attention to him for the past few days, and was astounded at the changes he went through. His hair, his teeth, his attitude”how could she have missed them before? He scratched the side of his head”another werewolfy trend she had noticed”and Lily stole a glance at James, who smiled back. It was, for some reason, very comforting to her knowing that she shared this secret with the boys. Granted, it was an incredible secret to share, but the fact that they all had this little bond... it made her feel special. She smiled and grabbed the paper.
“OK, front page stories,” she said, getting ready to discuss the lead item, an ongoing report of scandal in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.
“Come on, give us the sports first,” Sirius begged. “At least tell me if Wrenn and his incredible Magpies beat the tar out of Gwendolyn’s Choking Cannons, like we all expected them to.”
Gwendolyn tossed a bit of biscuit sideways at Sirius. “Stuff it about the Cannons. We’ll bounce back, just you wait.” She didn’t sound too sure, though.
Lily just shook her head. She should have learned by now that certain members of the group cared less about the inner workings of the Ministry of Magic and more about the inner workings of Quiddtich practices. But she dutifully flipped to the sports section and read aloud: “After being thoroughly trounced 240 to 10 by the Montrose Magpies”sorry, Gwendolyn”the Chudley Cannons hereby announce that they are making some changes to the organization.”
“Oh, this will be great!” Gwendolyn said hopefully.
Lily continued: “First and foremost, the Cannons officially change their motto from ‘We shall conquer’ to ‘Let’s all just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.’ Ouch!” she exclaimed, peering over the top of the paper to look at Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn groaned. “No. No, please don’t go on. I can’t take any more torture! Read the front page, read the front page.” She waved one hand at Lily and rested her head on the other. Sirius, sitting next to her, was in fits.
Lily smiled and was turning back to page one, all prepared to update the group on the Ministry scandal when something else caught her eye. “Ooh, listen to this,” she cried, leaning forward a bit on the bench. “‘Disappearances in the Ministry go Unexplained,’ by Patricia Caruthers. Ministry officials released a statement today confirming reports that two members of the Department of Mysteries and two members of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement have gone missing. The Ministry has not revealed their identities, but current rumors are naming Marcus Travers and Leopold Seepe from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Thornton Blatchley and Medea Macnair from the Department of Mysteries. Sources close to the missing persons almost unanimously report odd behavior over the past few weeks, but no one so far has been able to give explanations for the disappearances. Ministry officials refused comment on this story, leading readers to decide for themselves whether these strange occurrences are linked to the recent scandal in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes or to some other, unknown source. For more coverage of the aforementioned scandal, kindly turn to page one.” Lily stopped reading and looked up at her friends. “Crazy, isn’t it? All these disappearances happening at one time?”
“That is strange,” James said. “The article doesn’t say anything else?”
“Nope. That was it,” Lily responded.
“Do you think they’re connected to that guy who disappeared six months ago?” Gwendolyn asked.
“Probably!” Lily said. The previous May a man from the Department of Magical Transportation had briefly gone missing.
Remus, however, shook his head. “I don’t know. Remember that guy came back after a few days and said he just wanted a break from the office. This time it’s four people all going missing at the same time. That’s what’s weird about the whole thing.”
“Does the article say anything about when they went missing, or why?” James asked.
“James, I just read you the whole article. There’s nothing else,” Lily said.
“Maybe it had something to do with that Lord Voldemort guy! Remember, the one who was linked to those murders last spring? And last December?” Marlene said from her seat on the other side of Remus.
“Yes! I had completely forgotten about him,” said James. “Did the article mention him at all?”
“No!” Lily said exasperatedly. “Seriously! I just read you the whole article.”
“We haven’t heard anything about him for a while, though,” said Remus. “I thought he had disappeared, whoever he was.”
“Well, we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions, I guess,” said Lily thoughtfully. “The article doesn’t even mention him as a suspect at all.”
“Oy!” said Sirius, finally joining the conversation. “Give us that bit about the Cannons again.”
Lily turned to him. “You don’t care about this at all?”
“It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that”as you have made so exceptionally clear for James”the article doesn’t say anything else. So why speculate?” He shrugged and dove into his fourth helping of sausage.
“Much as I hate to admit it, he does have a point, Lily,” said Gwendolyn. “Although I really don’t want to hear about the Cannons again.”
Lily let out a slow sigh, resolved to drop the issue. “Yeah, I guess you’re both right. Want to hear the latest developments in the Ministry scandal, then?” She flipped back to the front page and began to read.
Of Cauldrons and Comrades by LuthAn
Chapter Notes: Hello, hello, dear readers! Time for another "snapshots" chapter to move the action forward a bit. Witness some birthdays, some flirting (!), and one more confession. The bit about the Cannons' motto is from "Quidditch Through the Ages"--one of my favorite bits. Thanks, as always, to Nielawen for the beta!