And now I’m all alone again, nowhere to turn, no one to go to,
Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to.
And now the night is near, now I can make-believe he’s here.
Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him and then I’m happy with the company I’m keeping.
The city goes to bed, and I can live inside my head
Minerva McGonagall stood at her office window, watching young Ms. Weasley sitting against a tree near the Black Lake. Checking her watch, she saw that it was a long time past curfew. She quickly walked out of her office, taking long strides down to the entrance hall, and finally out of Hogwarts. She began walking towards Ginny, but hesitated when she saw what she was doing.
Ginny leaned back against her tree. She was utterly depressed, for Harry Potter, her not-so-secret crush, had just left to go hunt Horcruxes. Ginny had a feeling that he wouldn‘t be coming back. Besides, she knew that he was still in love with Cho Chang, the pretty Ravenclaw Seeker. That’s what everybody knows her by , Ginny thought. The Pretty Ravenclaw Seeker. I’m just the Weasley’s kid sister. A little girl. The baby of the family. What am I thinking? Harry never liked me. He never will like me.
Minerva watched as Ginny deeply sighed and stood up. She pulled herself into the shadows as Ginny walked along the sandy shore of the lake, humming lightly to herself. It was a sad, slow tune that reminded Minerva of a past love, but she shook her thoughts out of her head as she continued along, both with the song and her progress along the lake.
On my own, pretending he’s beside me.
All alone, I walk with him ‘til morning.
Without him, I feel his arms around me,
And when I lose my way I close my eyes,
And he has found me.
In the rain, the pavement shines like silver.
All the lights are misty in the river,
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight.
And all I see is him and me forever and forever.
McGonagall’s eyes twinkled merrily, as she sat with a bemused expression on her face. Ginny had stopped moving, closing her eyes and holding her hand out, as if touching an unseen person. She laughed and hugged herself, but not touching herself entirely, as though allowing somebody to stand behind her and put their arms around her shoulders and neck.
Ginny laughed lightly as she stared misty-eyed to the castle, to see it looming in its glory. She then turned her attention to the lake, which was shining crystal clear, teasing to tell of the wonders below. Suddenly, Ginny gasped in delight as a gentle, warm rain began to fall. She started skipping and laughing and twirling round and round. She stopped laughing and twirling, but still smiled, as she held an invisible hand and continued on her journey.
Ginny stopped abruptly, startling Minerva. She turned to the slowly setting sun, and he saw tears traveling down her face, mixing with the rain. She sighed and sat down on the damp grass, staring into the horizon.
She patted the ground next to her, beckoning the stranger to sit down. For a moment, McGonagall actually believed that somebody was with her, only under a Disillusionment Charm or Invisibility Cloak. But when she began crying, she knew what was the matter.
And I know it’s only in my mind.
That I’m talking to myself, and not to him.
And although, I know that he is blind,
Still I say, there’s a way for us.
I love him, but when the night is over,
He is gone, the river’s just a river.
Without him, the world around me changes.
The trees are bare and everywhere, the streets are full of
Strangers.
The next day, Minerva observed Ginny closely. It was a Saturday, so it was not hard to do. When she walked outside, McGonagall did as well, but she stayed a safe distance away. When she saw that few others were outside, she leaned against her tree by the lake. Minerva took note that she was humming the same song from the previous night. She sat in a shady part of the grass and watched Ginny closely.
Ginny was crying again. Why can’t I just stop this wistful fantasy? I’ve tried, but it never works. I need to forget about him. I need to forget about ‘us’. I need to listen to Hermione and try to move on with my life.
She stared at the castle, but it looked a little smaller than the night before. The lake looked dull and grey. She didn’t feel the music in the wind as she had last night. She cowered in the face of reality, and ran back to her dormitory to cry herself to sleep, hoping to dream about him, even.
Minerva watched as she bustled away, sweeping past her. She didn’t have the heart to ask what was wrong, she only walked back to her office.
Minerva McGonagall, with her sour look and severe strictness, bustled to Dumbledore’s portrait. “Albus, what is the matter? You have seemed deeply troubled, and you missed both dinner last night and breakfast and lunch today. Is there something you’d like to tell me?”
“Minerva, young Missus Weasley is troubled, and when one of my students is troubled, I am troubled. I do not wish for you to speak to her about what I am telling you, or even treat her any differently.” To Minerva’s nod, he continued. “Ginny is in love with somebody who does not have the same feelings for her.”
“I know, I’ve been out watching her, too. Do you know what I think? She should simply get over it and continue living!” McGonagall said as though it were obvious. Inside, though, it tore her to know that Ginny was going through this. After all, she had fun watching Ginny.
“Minerva, it’s not that simple. She’s tried. I can tell. She hates herself for still loving him. You need to let her pull through this naturally. After all,” he said with a twinkle in is eyes, “you and I did.”
McGonagall snorted and left without another word.
*
Two hours later, Minerva walked to the Great Hall for dinner. As she walked past the Gryffindor table, she kindly smiled at a forlorn-looking Ginny, who flashed her a fake smile and went back to picking at her food.
A few nights passed, and Minerva had become accustomed to watching Ginny miss Harry. It was truly hard for the seventh year. Tonight, she was waiting for Ginny in the tree. She was late. Minerva checked her watch. Ginny was really late. Two hours later, she still hadn’t come. Minerva finally left after three more hours.
Ginny sat watching McGonagall. She sighed with relief as she finally left. She had been aware of her presence for the past night, but it made her uncomfortable to see Minerva waiting for her, so she waited until she left.
She made her nightly walk around the lake, and sat down on the shore to cry.
I love him, but every day I’m learning,
All my life, I’ve only been pretending.
Without me, his world would go on turning,
The world that’s full of happiness that I have never known.
I love him, I love him.
I love him, but only on my own…
Suddenly, Ginny felt a hand on her shoulder. She felt her heart soar, and turned around to see…Hermione. “Ginny, let him go. Let’s go inside, it’s freezing.”
On My Own by grangergurl
Chapter Notes: Disclaimer: Lovely Lyrics go to Alain Boublil, and characters to JK.
I didn't do this song justice. I love it so much, and I couldn't even come up with a better plot. I seriously need to think of something better, but tell me if you like it or not with how it is.
PLEASE R&R!!!!!