Ch. 17 “ Through Draco’s Eyes
Harry walked back towards the Gryffindor common room after his first Occlumency practice with Malfoy. He refused to refer to it as a lesson because that would be giving Draco far too much credit and power.
All things considered, the evening in the dungeons was productive. Harry had found that because Malfoy didn’t intimidate him like Professor Snape, he was more relaxed and, in turn, more successful. Harry, therefore, was able to block Draco’s “Legillimens” completely towards the end.
He knew that blocking Malfoy was different from a full grown dark or experienced wizard, but it felt like progress to Harry and that was always a welcomed change of pace.
One result that Harry did not count on was getting a glimpse into the young Slytherin’s mind.
*Begin flashback*
Draco sat in a small but well-lit corner of the library at Malfoy Manor. Lucius Malfoy was, as far as Harry could tell from the memory, entertaining guests. The adults were sitting on large sofas around the fire. Each of the guests were in what looked to be heated conversations. Though the words were not all clear, the younger Malfoy caught bits and pieces, but if he were to show any signs of eavesdropping, there would be serious repercussions.
At that moment, a person who looked to be the only female was standing next to Draco. She spoke:
“Do you see that group of people over there, Draco?”
He nodded, his face expressionless.
“That is a very strong assortment of witches and wizards. You too will join us when you are older “ does that excite you?”
Draco kept eye contact with his aunt as his father had taught him to always do when being spoken to. He did not show any other sign of listening.
His aunt continued with an eerie gleam in her eyes. “Pay close attention, my young nephew, because one day soon you will join our ranks amongst the other loyal followers of the Dark Lord. In due time we will have a world rid of Mudbloods and Half Bloods.”
Harry saw, in the memory, Draco nodding as if what his aunt had told him was more of a mantra with “ were Harry’s eyes playing tricks on him? “ a trace look of fear.
*End of flashback*
While Harry and Draco were somewhere in the castle practicing Occlumency, Hermione and Ron stayed in the Gryffindor common room trying to get a head start on their schoolwork. Actually, it was Hermione trying to work. Ron was just sitting in the oversized chair watching out the window, occasionally watching his girlfriend for minutes at a time. He figured Harry would be along shortly.
It was during this time that a tapping sound was heard at the window. Ron motioned for Hermione to stay seated and opened the window to receive the owl’s package. Hermione squeaked in excitement when she saw her copy of the latest edition of the Daily Prophet and stood to pay the owl for the paper. In a matter of moments, however, her face fell and Ron saw what he knew to be a look of fear. He stood closer to her.
“What is it, Hermione? Did something happen?”
Her face ashen, she handed Ron the newspaper. His face quickly changed to match the expression on her face as he read the headline:
Recently Apprehended Death Eaters Escape Without A Trace. Ministry Officials Baffled But Confident In Quick Recapture. (Names are being withheld at this time)
Hermione looked up at Ron. “What do we tell them, Ronald? How are we supposed to break this to Draco?”
Wrapping his arms in a protective manner around her, he shook his head and answered, “I don’t know, love… I don’t know.”
As if on cue, Harry walked through the portrait hole. He looked at his two best friends and saw right away that they were distressed about something. He was almost afraid to ask but found himself doing it anyway.
“All right you two… who died?” he asked sarcastically but hoping he was wrong.
When they didn’t jump up and yell, “Surprise!” he sat on the table in front of them with a somber look in his eyes. “I can take it. What happened, now?”
They seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement that simply allowing him to read it for himself will answer any and all questions that he may have. They handed him the Daily Prophet and watched as his face went through the same physical changes that theirs had. They did not, however, know he would run out of the common room as quickly as he did but they followed, knowing exactly where he was headed.
Draco needs his friends, thought Hermione as she ran down a corridor.
By the time they found him by the lake, they knew he had already read the article or received the news in a different manner. His hair was disheveled and he was holding a bottle of what looked to be firewhiskey. Ron looked at Harry with a look that asked, “What do we do?” and then glanced at Hermione. He frowned and gave her a pleading stare.
Harry finally spoke up in a little more than a whisper, “Hermione, he probably won’t listen to us. For some reason the two of you have that weird bond. Talk to him? Please?”
Nodding in their general direction, she turned and walked around the tree, taking the long way and found herself behind Malfoy. Knowing they would need time to talk, Ron and Harry made their way back to the castle.
He did not see or hear Hermione approach him from the opposite side of the tree until she was behind him rubbing his shoulder. Draco didn’t even jump at the feel of her touch, knowing exactly who it was.
“You know, Granger, had it been anyone else right now trying to touch me or make me feel better, they probably would have found themselves in the hospital wing, which would be a pity because I don’t think there is anyone up there to nurse them to health.”
He put his hand over hers, stopping the wonderful shoulder rub and let out a long sigh. She sat next to him, although she was unsure what he would be willing to talk about. She would just go with the flow of things.
Draco looked over to his friend, his eyes glistening from tears not yet spent.
“Am I a monster, Hermione? Will I turn into my father over time and be as hateful as he is?”
He picked at the nonexistent lint on his pant leg. After a moment he continued.
“I joined the Order to try and do the right thing and it only seems to have made things worse! I have successfully almost gotten your parents killed twice now. Father is not going to hide forever you know, and he doesn’t forgive or forget…”
On an impulse, Hermione pulled him into an embrace which he surprisingly accepted. It stopped him from continuing and he just held onto her as if she was his lifeline to sanity. She thought she would try talking to him while he was quiet.
“Malfoy, you are by no means a bad person, let alone something as ludicrous as a monster! Sure you had your temporary lapse of common decency, but we can just chalk it up to adolescence, right?” she asked, laughing nervously.
This almost got a smile out of him but he said, “See? That’s what I mean. I wanted you DEAD, Hermione.”
He held her at an arms length away from him with a serious look in his eyes. “Over the last few years when we were in school, it wasn’t just some childhood hormonal thing, I truly wanted you dead. I prayed for the troll to get you . . . the basilisk, the Death Eaters at the Quidditch World Cup -- I am a terrible person for those kinds of feelings! How can you be so nonchalant about all of that?” He dropped his arms to his lap and looked out towards the lake as one or two merpeople cleared the surface.
Hermione sat up. “Look at me, Draco. Look in my eyes.”
He did as he was asked and stared into her deep brown eyes, full of emotion.
“I have never been nonchalant about what happened between us in the past. I am a strong believer in the idea that you have seen the error of your ways and that there was no reason to drag out the past if it couldn’t be fixed.”
He opened his mouth to interrupt but she gave him a look that clearly said there would be no point in doing so.
“Draco, you saved my life at my house this summer, against your own flesh and blood! From that point on, I was convinced and so were Harry and Ron. Now stop doubting yourself. This new bit of news just means that we probably won’t be going to Hogsmead in the near future, but what else is new?”
Shaking his head he replied, “I just don’t want to go back on my word. I told Ron that nothing would happen to you. I can’t allow my father to take you away from me, Hermione!”
Draco looked at her and closed his mouth tightly for a moment and slowly tried speaking again. Hermione looked thoroughly confused.
“I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” he stuttered.
“Malfoy, we’ve discussed this. I’m with Ronald and I am completely happy. I only like you as a - ” she tried to say but was interrupted.
“I know, I know. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, I swear. What I meant to say is,” Feeling the vulnerability taking over, he stood and faced a tree sitting behind them. Quiet enough for her to barely hear, he said, “You are the best friend I have ever had, Granger.”
He turned to face her. “Hell, come to think of it, you’re probably the only REAL friend I have ever had. You see though, Voldemort feeds off those kinds of weaknesses and doesn’t care who dies in the process.”
She smiled slightly and he continued. “Just please be careful. Keep one of them” he said, motioning towards the castle, “with you at all times, all right?” With that being said, he helped her stand up.
“Now let’s head back in before it gets dark and go pay a visit to Dumbledore after we eat. I’m sure we’ll get summoned by someone at any rate with this news in circulation.”
He smiled at her “ a real smile - and the two walked up the hill side by side. Once in the castle, they found their friends in the Great Hall waiting for dinner.
Business could wait for now.