A/N: Here we are, dear readers, chappie two! And since I can’t think of a good intro, I will go ahead with naming our sponsors.
This chappie was sponsored by: Dr Pepper (he makes the world taste better!), Potter message boards, pie, and you, fantabulous readers, with your crazy reviews!
Now, onto the show!
Harry Potter entered the Gryffindor common room in a towering temper.
“LLAMAS!” he shouted, startling just about everyone. He stormed over to Ron and Hermione, who were sitting by the fire.
“LLAMAS!” he shouted again.
“What about llamas?” asked Ron, looking terrified for his friend’s sanity.
“Llamas!” Harry hissed. His eye was twitching.
“I told you detention was a bad idea,” Ron said to Hermione. “He’s finally cracked.”
“Don’t get me started on detention!” Harry sat down heavily in the armchair next to Ron’s.
“Didn’t go well then?” asked Hermione, sounding smug.
“Of course not, it was with Snape.”
“Then what’s all this about llamas?” questioned Ron, sounding confused.
Harry’s eye twitched some more. “That’s the reason the detention ended! This llama showed up! That one we saw in the hallway right after Arbitrare or Arbitrar or whatever his name was got sacked?”
“That llama?” said Hermione, her eyes widening. “But I thought Dumbledore got rid of it!”
“Yeah, well, I guess he didn’t, cause it walked right into Snape’s office, and dropped a note on his desk that said ‘It’s back.’”
“What’s back?” said Ron, looking like he didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Well, the note was signed ‘Arbitrar,” so I can only assume it meant the Power of Suggestion!”
There were gasps all around the common room.
“Oh shut up,” Harry snapped. “I’m going to bed. Maybe this’ll all turn out to be a bad dream…” He stood up and headed off towards the staircase up to the dormitory, muttering along the way, “Though I think I almost preferred the dreams where Voldemort was plotting to kill me and such.”
If Harry had hoped that going to sleep would remedy his seeing a llama, and the note that said llama bore, he was sorely mistaken. He realized this as soon as he entered the Great Hall for breakfast.
People were flitting between tables more than usual, and many of them had some noticeably odd things about them. One fellow at the Hufflepuff table, with his thumb stuck up his right nostril, was talking to his friend, who kept burping large purple bubbles when he spoke. At the Ravenclaw table, a fifth year girl whose hair was bright green now hurried over to a friend further down the table, who had tapioca pouring out her ears.
“Bad dream, huh?” said Ron skeptically, as Harry settled into the seat next to him.
“Looks like it is back…” said Hermione vaguely over the top of her goblet of orange juice.
Harry sighed and pulled a plate of eggs towards him. “Well, all we can hope is that it leaves us alone this time.”
“That’s a long shot there, mate,” said Ron through a mouthful of bacon. “Though maybe it’ll get Snape and Malfoy again. That’d be almost worth it.”
“Yeah…” admitted Harry, looking distinctly more cheerful at this.
Hermione, however, looked highly affronted and hid herself behind her newspaper.
Just then, someone plopped into the seat on Harry’s other side.
“Hi Harry!” squeaked the someone. Harry looked around. It was that David kid who’d bothered him twice yesterday.
“Hi,” said Harry indifferently.
“Wow, it’s crazy here today!” said the David kid. He looked terribly excited. “I’ve never seen breakfast so loud, even when there was that food fight and Bobby Pearson got hit in the eye with a fork!”
“Uh huh.” Harry thought in the back of his mind that this may never have happened, but he didn’t want to start debating.
“I wonder what’ll happen next!” David was bouncing in his chair. “Well, see ya around!” He bounded out of his chair and sped off down the table.
“The Creevys better watch out,” said Ron. “They’ve got some competition now for biggest Potter fanatics in the school.”
“Shut it, you,” said Harry, throwing his napkin at Ron.
Again, it was Monday. More insanity had occurred through the week, including unused classrooms catching fire to gain attention, and clocks melting like a Dali painting.
But since it was again Monday, the trio again had Double Potions. And again, Harry got detention (he’d been chucking bat spleens at Malfoy).
So at eight o’clock, Harry again left the common room for Snape’s dungeon office.
Upon reaching the passage that lead to Snape’s office, however, Harry received a surprise: Snape himself in the hall.
“Sir?” asked Harry tentatively, as he approached his teacher. Snape did not look to be in a good mood.
“Potter,” said Snape curtly.
“Er, why are we in the hall? Sir?”
“Because I was waiting for you.” Snape turned to his office door, slowly turned the knob, and yanked the door open.
Harry’s jaw dropped. Inside the door was not Snape’s office, but a vast view of outer space. There were stars and planets swirling about, caught in the cosmic dust of a wide galaxy in the middle of it all.
Snape sighed angrily. “It’s doing that thing again!” he snarled, slamming the door shut and opening it again. This time, a sprawling medieval battle appeared. Snape shut the door just in time to stop a pike hurtling at them.
Snape kept opening and shutting the door, each time showing something else odd. A broom cupboard full of smelly mops, a barbershop, a Quidditch match (Snape muttered something about “lousy Wimbourne”), a dark hallway deserted except for a woman applying lipstick.
“Hey, Sev,” she said.
“Not now,” he said, shutting the door again. He opened it one last time, and there was his office.
“Finally,” he muttered. He and Harry entered.
After two hours of mind-numbing labor, Harry went back up to the Gryffindor common room. Well, after he tried something. He was about two steps from the door to Snape’s office when he turned back. He wanted to see something. Harry did as Snape did earlier, and slowly turned the doorknob, then threw the door open wide.
He was instantly deluged by croutons.
After a bit of a struggle, he shut the door. Then he opened it again.
Harry was looking into a dance hall full of frogs that were learning to do tap. Shut the door, open again; a room full of bags. Harry picked one up. It said on it, “Bottomless Bag. See What’s Inside!” He took the bag and stashed it in his pocket. He shut and opened the door again; a gang of angry carrots attacked him. With a stupendous effort, he shut the door.
He decided to not open it again.
A/N: Tada! Chappie 2! It is a bit short, I’ll admit, but not to worry! More insanity will ensue in the coming chapters! Share your glee, squees, cheese, sneeze, and sleaze via reviews! Ideas are always appreciated! Now, this author’s note must end before I break Internet rules on exclamation point abuse!