A/N: Ohhhhhh, it’s time again, yes it is, for that fabulous story for all you kids! Here for you now, much quicker this time, is chappie four, with an author’s note that rhymes! Because this time music’s the theme, sure to make all our favorite characters scream!
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Harry, Ron, and Hermione came down the stairs, heading for breakfast, only to find that when they got into the entrance hall a large new notice had been pinned up on the board. Fighting through the crowd in front of it, they were finally able to read it.
Attention! Hogwarts is hosting a VERY SPECIAL EVENT this Saturday in the Great Hall. Witches and wizards from across the country will be attending. All those wishing to participate, and for more details, please contact your Head of House.
“’A very special event,’ huh?” said Harry skeptically. “Wonder what they’ve cooked up this time.”
“Probably something stupid,” said Ron. “I mean, they didn’t even bother to tell us what it is.”
“Well, I’m going to go see Professor McGonagall about this,” said Hermione. “I wonder who’s even sponsoring this event?”
“Maybe it’s Neville,” Ron chuckled.
“No, he’s not in charge anymore, remember?” interjected Harry. “Besides, Hermione’d know if he had, she was on his committee for that stupid dance. Where is Neville, anyway?”
“I dunno. Let’s get breakfast, I’m starved.”
That afternoon, Harry and Ron were hanging around near the door of the Transfiguration classroom, waiting for Hermione to finish asking Professor McGonagall what the “very special event” that Saturday was.
“I spy, with my little eyes…” Ron was saying, “Something starting with ‘v.’”
“Vespa?” asked Harry, as a kid on a moped buzzed past.
“Nope.”
“Variety Show!” said Hermione, walking over.
“Er, no, it’s Professor Vector, see, she’s right over there.”
“No no, not ‘I Spy,’ the special event on Saturday! It’s a variety show!”
“A what?” asked Ron.
“No good can come of this,” muttered Harry.
“Yes, apparently there’s a Wizarding Wireless show, and they wanted to broadcast live from Hogwarts, and Dumbledore thought it was a great idea.”
“What do you do on a variety show, then?” Ron asked, still looking confused.
“It’s basically a bunch of different acts performing. Though from what Professor McGonagall said, it sounds like most of the acts are bands. Seems everyone wants to be in a band.”
“Hey, we should make a band!” exclaimed Ron.
“How? Do you know how to play any instruments? Do we have any instruments?”
“Yeah, we do,” said Harry, pulling out his Bottomless Bag and dumping out a guitar, bass, and drumset.
“Well then, do you know how to play?”
“Er, not exactly…But it can’t be hard to learn can it? I mean, not with this.” He pulled out a book entitled How To Make A Competent Band In Less Than A Week.
Hermione sighed. “Fine, we’ll make a band.” The boys cheered. “But we have to get this stuff out of the hallway first.”
That evening in the common room, Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat in their usual armchairs, deciding how best to make a band.
“Well, according to this book, we need to come up with a name,” said Harry, flipping through the first chapter of How To Make A Competent Band In Less Than A Week. “How about, Harry and the Potters?”
“Already taken,” said Ron. “How about The Trio?”
“Nah, that’s what everyone already calls us.”
As they sat puzzling, the llama wandered up and ate Ron’s Charms homework. Ron ran screaming after the llama, brandishing his wand and setting several tables on fire.
“Sad, that. Losing your homework to a llama…” commented Hermione.
“Hey, how about the Llama Losers?” said Harry.
Hermione shrugged. “Works for me.”
“Alright, next step…” Harry said, flipping a page. “Ron! RON! Get over here!”
Ron dropped back into his chair, fuming. “Stupid llama, that essay took forever…”
“Whatever, just copy Hermione’s. Anyway…”
“Harry!” said Hermione, sounding affronted.
“What, it’s not like he didn’t do that the first time. ANYWAY, it says that next we need ‘to adopt a general theme and/or genre’ for our music.”
“How about ‘Death to llamas?’” grumbled Ron.
“We can’t do that, we’re the Llama Losers!” said Hermione.
“Says who?!”
“Harry and I decided when you were running around after the llama.”
“It’s a stupid name.”
“Can you think of a better one?”
“…….No, Llama Losers is good.”
“General theme, guys!” chimed in Harry over the top of his book.
“What about, ‘Respect your llamas’?” suggested Hermione.
“That works, what about a genre?”
“Let’s decide that when we play.”
“Perfect segway Hermione, as the next part is deciding what instruments we’re going to play.”
“Can I not get stuck playing the bass?” asked Ron.
“No,” said Harry and Hermione at the same time.
“I claim drums,” said Harry.
“Alright, I get guitar,” said Hermione.
“Who’s taking vocals?”
“Um…we can trade off.”
“Sounds good. Now to the hard part: learning to actually play.”
The new band Llama Losers was getting in its first practice in the Room of Requirement. The room had been filled with posters of other successful wizard bands, instructional materials, and, inexplicably, a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones missing.
“Alright, let’s see what kind of music we want to do,” said Harry, sitting at the drumset, as Ron and Hermione picked up their respective instruments. “OK, one, two, three, four!”
A sudden noise filled the room, kind of like a cat with a migraine being beaten with a baby holding a dentist drill.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” shouted Harry over the noise, cutting them off. A ringing silence fell, the last vestiges of the horrible sound echoing around the room.
“Shall we be a rock band, then?” asked Harry.
“Sounds good,” said Ron.
“What sort of songs should we write, then?” Hermione asked.
“Something about how wrong the system is?” suggested Harry.
“Something about how depressing torrid teen love affairs are?” said Ron.
“Something that sounds good, but doesn’t really mean anything?” asked Hermione.
“Why not all three?” said Harry.
“Yeah, alright,” said Ron.
“OK, now to come up with a catchy tune for it.”
“We haven’t even written anything yet,” pointed out Hermione.
“Well…” Harry said slowly, consulting his book, “The words and melody can go together. It says that if you’re going to start a band in less than a week, words and music together is usually the best option. So I think that for now, we should just wing it.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to make sure the different parts we’re playing actually go together?” asked Hermione.
“Nah, it’ll work out. OK, again from the top!”
“Top of what?” Ron asked.
“Top of the song.”
“What song? Did we even do anything except make some noise?”
“In some circles, that is music. Now, again from the top! One, two, three, four!”
And the noise started again. After about an hour, however, the noise actually started to go together, and after two hours, it actually sounded like music.
“Wow, we’re starting to sound good!” said Ron excitedly. “We could really win this Battle of the Bands!”
“Ron, it’s a variety show,” corrected Hermione. “There’s just a lot of bands playing.”
“Anyway, it’s getting late, we’d better head back to the common room,” said Harry, checking his watch.
As they left the Room of Requirement, they saw a new sign up in the hallway.
Attention! The VERY SPECIAL EVENT on Saturday will be a BATTLE OF THE BANDS. It was originally going to be a variety show, but the only non-band acts (the whole two of them) were dropped due to lawsuits. So, join us for a great time on Saturday! BYOEP (Bring your own ear plugs).
Ron gave Hermione an I-told-you-so look.
“Say it, and you’ll get a guitar pick up your nose,” she threatened.
A/N: SO! How was that? There it is, chappie four! Please send in your opinions, irritations, and other such ideas/aggreivences via reviews! Bonus points to folks who get the M&Ms reference, and more bonus points if your review is musical-ish, like my author’s note at the top of the chappie! Even MORE bonus points if you come up with song ideas for the battle of the bands! I don’t want any bonus points left, I want to give them all to you!