Tomorrow is the wedding. My wedding, in fact. The house is decorated with flowers and confetti and garlands of holly. The backyard (where the wedding will take place) is decorated too, in light hues of pink. The bridesmaids (Lily and Rosina) are staying over tonight to help me get dressed. Mr Black, Rosina’s father will be the Officiator. So I guess everything is ready.
Except for me.
I’m supposed to be the nervous, shy and happy bride according to Lily.
But I’m not.
“Something wrong, Alana?” Rosina asks, peering into my eyes and feeling my forehead.
“Don’t worry, Rosina,” Lily says with a mischievous smirk. Rosina’s eyebrows rise in response. “It’s normal for brides-to-be to act silly. Plus, Severus will take care of her.”
They dissolve into a fit of giggles and I excuse myself to get some sleep. I doubt they even took notice of the fact that I left the room.
Like I care.
It’s not that I don’t care, but somehow, I don’t. We’ve been friends since first-year and it doesn’t make sense that I don’t care. But I can have other things on my mind, right? It’s not like my whole world revolves around them, after all.
I’m worried sick about him. He promised he’d come home at seven in the evening and it’s past nine now. All he had said was that he might be held up due to some ‘unforeseen work’ but it shouldn’t take longer than seven. He had promised me that. And Severus Snape doesn’t break promises.
I spend ten minutes wriggling over the bed, twisting the engagement ring around my ring finger until it hurt, and glancing at the clock so often that I could have sworn it had stopped working. And then, someone knocks at the door. I breathe a huge sigh of relief, and skip downstairs, grinning. Rosina opens the door after a lengthy interrogation. Sure enough, it is him. But he looks a mess. Lily and Rosina leave the hall to give us some privacy.
His lower lip is cut; I arch my eyebrows in question. He assures me that there was nothing to worry about, but that doesn’t convince me. He puts his arm around me and I tremble from his touch. He pulls me closer, raising my chin with one long finger. I shut my eyes, drawing in a deep breath. He caresses my lips with his, gently, slowly. Wordlessly, I urge him to go on. He takes the hint and kisses me. I can feel the passion flowing through his lips. His hands travel down my back, and I lean in, wishing I could freeze that moment forever.
I break the kiss after what seemed to stretch to an eternity, albeit a breathtaking eternity. I look down to the floor, willing the tears not to stream down my cheeks. Severus lifts my chin and fixes me with his steely gaze.
“Do I have to tell you everyday not to act like a silly child?” he snarls. My mouth falls open in horror and I jerk back from him. It takes me a whole minute to try and get a few words out.
“And haven’t I told you not to use your Legilimency on me?” I scream, finding my voice again.
Severus smirks. “I don’t waste my Legilimency skills when I know all you worry about is that!” he responds in an annoyingly cool tone that irks me even more.
“I’m going to bed!” I yell and tear upstairs, taking the stairs three at a time, not bothering to stem the flow of tears.
I fling myself onto the bed, bury my head into the pillow, sobbing. I can almost hear Dad saying “I told you so” and I can see Mum gazing at me helplessly. Both Mum and Dad had warned me against this. But I had simply refused to listen to them. And here I am, paying the price for my foolishness.
The door creaks open. I pretend to be fast asleep, wishing he would just go away. Leave me alone, I will him silently.
“Alana?” he calls. “I know you’re awake.”
“Just leave me alone,” I mutter irately.
He sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand in his; his warm touch sooths me. I turn my head from the wet pillow to look at him. Only a shadow of his face is visible from the moonlight streaming through the window.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, giving my hand a light squeeze.
I move my face away from him.
“Look,” he continues, “I was having a bad day, and…”
I turn on my side, locking eyes with him. “And?”
“And, I couldn’t see you crying.”
I blink. He makes me feel guilty, but then, what sort of a person shouts at you because he doesn’t want to see you crying?
“I was just reminded of Mum and Dad…” I say, defensively. “It’s been hard for me, alright, to leave my parents who I’ve lived with all these years.”
“I didn’t ask you to leave,” he points out coolly.
My volatile temper flares up. “So, I’ll just go, then?”
“There you go again,” he sighs. “If you think you’d rather be with your parents than “ than with me, then I’m not stopping you.”
“So you don’t care whether I live or die, right?”
“That’s enough." His raised voice impells me into a shocked silence. “Did I ever say I didn’t care about you?”
“But you said-”
“I only said you’re free to choose between me and your parents and that I wouldn’t interfere in any way.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I’d chosen my parents over you!”
“Then do you have to spend every moment here, crying your heart out about them?”
“It hasn’t been easy for me,” I say, my voice faltering.
He puts his arm around me and I cling his shoulder for support. He presses his lips against my forehead; it works better than any Calming Draught I’ve ever taken.
“Try not to think about the past,” he whispers. I nod fervently, blocking out images of my parents. He strokes my dark brown hair gently.
“Good night.” He stands up to leave, straightening his robes.
“Severus?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
His face breaks into the first true smile I’ve seen him wear since that evening.
“I love you too.”
The next morning dawns bright and clear. The weather is just perfect for the wedding, according to Rosina. I sit in front of the mirror that Lily has conjured, preventing my thoughts from wandering to my parents. Lily applies some kind of potion to my hair and performs a complex twirl with her wand and the strands of my hair set themselves in neat curls. Rosina fusses over my dress, tugging at the straps and yanking the loose threads out. My mind travels back to the conversation with Severus last night. Thinking back, I had been stupid, after all.
“Alana? Are you okay?” Rosina asks, interrupting my train of thoughts.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I return, dearly hoping I felt the way I spoke.
“Look,” says Lily, after exchanging a knowing glance with Rosina. “We know you -- well -- miss your parents but there’s nothing you can do about it. So-”
“So, what, Lily?” I fire back at her. “What were you going to say? Just forget your parents exist and lead a happy life with Severus?”
“Well, yeah,” smirks Rosina. “That’s exactly what-”
“Rosina, shut up!” Lily hisses.
“Look, what’s the point of you brooding over this whole thing?” Rosina lets out an exasperated sigh. “Alana, it just doesn’t make sense to me. You chose Severus over your parents and you’d better be happy for it, instead of crying over spilt potion.”
“She’s right, you know,” Lily adds feebly.
Damn them! I hate it when they’re right about things. “Yeah, well, you’re both right…”
“Of course we are!” chorus Lily and Rosina, grinning at each other. I roll my eyes heavenward.
After half an hour of tugging, yanking, fussing and fretting, they declare me ready. I check my reflection in the mirror and I have to say, the girls have done a pretty good job. My hair is set in steps of splendid curls and my dress in flowing white silk looked just majestic.
“There’s something missing…” murmurs Lily, scrutinising me from head to toe.
“What?” Rosina asks anxiously, joining Lily’s search.
“Ah, of course,” Lily says triumphantly, after a minute, “You’ve got no veil!”
“Veil? What veil?” Rosina frowns.
“The veil, you know, they’re used in Muggle weddings to cover the face of the bride…”
Rosina laughs. “Nonsense! Why would they want to cover the face of the bride?”
“Dunno…”
“Muggle weddings are different from our weddings, Lily,” smiles Rosina. “Just wait and see.”
“Shall we go?” I interrupt, wielding my wand.
Rosina leads the way out of the room and into the backyard, where the wedding would take place. The backyard is protected from Muggles using Muggle-Repelling Charms performed by Severus, Rosina and Lily. I had offered to help them with the decorations, but they had refused, claiming that the bride looking at the wedding decorations would bring bad luck to the couple getting married. Nonsense! Sometimes, wizards can be as stupid as Muggles.
I had asked them to decorate the backyard in pink, and they had relented, it seems, for the backdrop is adorned with varying hues of pink. Mr Black and Severus are both dressed in black and bending over a smoking cauldron.
“What’s in the cauldron?” asks Lily wonderingly.
“It’s the Nuptial Potion,” whispers Rosina, “used in wizarding weddings to unite the bride and the groom.”
Mr Black and Severus step away from the cauldron after seeing us. Mr Black gives me a fatherly smile which I half-heartedly return. Severus has his back to me.
Mr Black motions for me to stand next to Severus. Then he draws out his wand and mutters a few well-chosen words at the potion, causing it to turn milky-white. The surface of the potion emitted bright coloured sparks that flew into the air.
“Take out your wands, please,” requests Mr Black when the Nuptial Potion began to turn transparent.
I chance half a glance at Severus; his face is impassive. Maybe he’s having doubts about this wedding, too.
“Cross them over the surface of the cauldron,” commands Mr Black. The potion turns fully transparent now. Severus and I hold our wands facing each other. Mr Black, holding out his own wand over our wands, then speaks.
“Mr Severus Tobias Snape, would you like to make Miss Alana Jane Whitefield your lawful wife?”
Severus glances at me, his expression unreadable, before nodding, “Yes.” A jet of blue light shoots out of Severus’ wand and hovers over the surface of the potion.
Mr Black turns to me, smiling gently. “Miss Alana Jane Whitefield, would you like to make Mr Severus Tobias Snape your lawful husband?”
You will regret this decision of yours!
I love you.
“Yes,” I nod, my voice brimming with conviction. Another jet of blue light shoots out of my wand, merging with the light from Severus’ wand.
“I declare you man and wife.” Mr Black shoots a jet of white light that envelops the blue jet from our wands.
“The wedding is over?” asks Lily in horror. “Muggle weddings just go on for ages, you know.”
Rosina laughs, “I told you our weddings are different.”
“Hush, girls, let’s give our newlyweds some privacy,” says Mr Black as he shepherds the girls out of the backyard.
The jets of light rise in the air forming an arc and fall back into the potion, dissolving into nothingness. On the contrary, I muse, as Severus steps closer to kiss me, my life is just about to begin from nothingness.
Arbitratus by miss padfoot
Chapter Notes: This characters in this fic (Rosina and Lily) are the same as those in Loving Lily. And, huge thanks to Lurid for Beta-ing. ♥ Also, thanks to wendelin_the_wierd for the wonderful banner: http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b336/mspadfoot2390/Story%20banners/Arbitratus-1.jpg ♥