“Hey Prefect Ron! Wait for the peons!” Ron rolled his eyes and motioned for Harry, Ginny, and Hermione to continue without him. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he turned and waited as Fred and George came running toward him. They had matching grins, and Ron immediately knew that something was going on.
“Whatever you want, the answer is no,” said Ron, turning back to catch up with the others. All he wanted to do was to spend the afternoon roaming Diagon Alley, exploring the shops as he looked for Christmas presents. They were planning on visiting his father at St. Mungo’s after lunch. He didn’t want anything to do with whatever the twins had in mind; it usually resulted in parental punishment, and quite often in injury.
“What makes you think we want anything from you, with an attitude like that?” Fred arched his eyebrow at his younger brother, and turned to his twin. “He’s obviously not interested, George. Let’s just go without him.”
George shrugged nonchalantly. “All right, then. I thought he might like to get out and explore a bit with all that’s happened, but apparently he’s too uptight.”
“It must be the prefect badge,” snorted Fred.
“Or he’s been hanging around Granger too long,” sniggered George, smirking.
“Leave Hermione out of it!” said Ron defensively, glancing back over his shoulder to see if she had heard them. She was down the street with Ginny and Harry. Harry was gazing rather forlornly at a new broom in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies; Ginny was watching Harry closely. Hermione didn’t seem to be paying attention to them at all, as her eyes were focused on a new set of quills in the window at Flourish and Blotts.
“Defensive, aren’t we?” asked George scornfully. “Well, we’ll let you run off and play with your girlfriend then. I’m sure trudging up and down Diagon Alley for the fiftieth time will be much more exciting than where we’re going.” He turned and began to walk away with Fred, laughing heartily.
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Ron shouted after them. “Hey, where are you going anyway? You’re not supposed to leave Diagon Alley, you know.” Fred ambled back to Ron, glancing around to see if anyone was listening.
“Don’t be such a prig, Ron. We just want to see a bit more of Muggle London. We thought maybe you’d like to join us, but seeing as you’re such a stickler for the rules now. . .” Fred trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid.
Ron felt his face go red; he may not have had the same record as Fred and George, but he had broken a fair number of rules in his first four years at Hogwarts. He hated it when they picked on him for not getting in trouble enough, especially now that he was a prefect and he was supposed to keep others in line. “So where are you going?” he asked again, reluctantly interested.
“The Muggles have these places called shopping centres, where all the stores are inside, hundreds of them. Thought we’d check one out.” George held out his hand and showed Ron some strange currency. “We even got some Muggle money, we want to find something fun for Dad.”
Ron was definitely interested now; he had to admit that he had seen all there was to see in Diagon Alley and wouldn’t mind stepping out into the Muggle world a bit more. “Can Harry and Hermione come too?” he asked.
Fred shrugged. “Sure, as long as they don’t rat us out, especially Granger. We may be of age but that doesn’t mean Mum won’t blister our backsides if she found out we left Diagon Alley on our own.”
Ron raised his eyebrows. “Hermione’s Muggle-born, you know. She probably knows her way around better than any other witch here. You’d be lucky if she helped you out, and staying out of trouble is the best way to keep it from Mum.”
Fred looked at George. “Good point,” he conceded. “Go see if they’re interested. We’ll meet you at the Leaky Cauldron.” They hurried away, heads together again as they planned their latest adventure.
Ron ran to catch up with the others, who were waiting for him outside Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop. “What did Fred and George want?” asked Ginny curiously when she saw the excited look on Ron’s face.
“They want to know if we’d be interested in going to the Muggle shopping centre,” he replied, keeping his voice down. “What do you think?”
Harry and Hermione looked at each other with skepticism. “What?” asked Ron defensively. “We’ve been here dozens of times, I want to see where the Muggles shop. It’ll be interesting,” he finished lamely when their expressions didn’t change.
“I’ve been to the shopping centre,” Harry shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. I’d rather stay here.”
Ron was not surprised at Harry’s reaction and knew better than to push him after what had happened with the attack on his father. He turned expectantly to Ginny, knowing her fondness for the twins, and certain she would be interested. “Do you want to go?”
Ginny shook her head. “I’ve gotten into enough trouble because of those two already,” she said dryly. “I want to enjoy my holiday this year.”
Ron rolled his eyes and turned to Hermione, his last hope. “You want to go, don’t you? It’ll be fun!”
Hermione gave him a withering look. “Fun like a learning something new, or fun like getting into trouble with the twins?”
“Hermione - ”
She shook her head. “I agree with Harry, I’d much rather stay here. There are some new books I’d like to look for at Obscurus Books.”
Ron stared at the three of them, unable to believe they were refusing an adventure in London in favor of roaming Diagon Alley once again. He didn’t want the twins to think he had given in to his friends, or worse, chickened out. He put on his best game face.
“Hermione,” he wheedled, knowing he could get her to go. Ginny had been in trouble quite a bit lately and should probably stay behind. Harry was another matter; he had been through a lot lately, and Ron didn’t want to risk an unprecedented tirade by badgering him. “You’re Muggle-born, you could get us there and tell us all about it. You can make sure we do everything right and don’t get in trouble. You’re the only one who can help!”
Hermione shook her head stubbornly. “I’m sorry Ron, I’m just not interested, I - ”
“I’ll do my own homework for a month!” exclaimed Ron, suddenly desperate for her join them.
Ginny gasped, Harry’s mouth fell open, and Hermione goggled at him. “Really, I will, just come with us,” begged Ron. “I don’t want to go with them alone, who knows what might happen.” Ginny snorted, and Hermione sighed.
“Okay, I’ll go. Someone should keep on eye on them, I suppose. Harry, you don’t mind, do you?” She looked genuinely distressed at leaving their friend alone. Harry just shrugged again.
“I’m staying,” said Ginny quietly. “I don’t feel like hanging with the twins either, this time.”
Harry gave her a grateful look that was immediately replaced by the bleak, sullen mask he had taken to wearing lately. “We’ll be fine,” he said. “See you later.” Without another word, he turned and left, his shoulders hunched over against the cold.
“Don’t worry,” said Ginny, watching him go with an enigmatic expression on her face. “He’ll be all right. You should be careful, though. Have fun, but not too much.” She took off after Harry, catching up with him outside the Apothecary.
Ron grabbed Hermione’s hand and led her off. “Great! Thanks, Hermione, you’re the best. We’re meeting Fred and George at the Leaky Cauldron.” Suddenly he realized he was still holding her hand, and dropped it like a hot pan as he felt himself blush furiously.
Hermione let out a little groan. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. We’re prefects! But if it helps you with your homework, then I suppose it’s worth it.”
They made their way to the pub, ready to begin their adventure in Muggle London.
“It’s just a bunch of stores,” cautioned Hermione, shaking light snow from her hair as they entered the gigantic brick building. “I don’t understand what you’re so excited about, you’re just going to be disappointed.”
“We’re not excited,” replied Fred, looking around wide-eyed. “Just curious and interested. Call it research.”
Hermione narrowed her eyes at the twins. “What are you researching now?” she asked, no doubt thinking of their mail order joke business.
Fred wagged his eyebrows at her as he wandered away. “Anything we can.” Hermione looked worried.
Ron walked slowly into the enormous open area. It was three stories tall and filled with dozens, if not hundreds, of small shops. It was brightly lit, with sleek lines of metal and concrete. Everywhere he looked he saw trees and garlands and lights for the holidays. It made Diagon Alley look like a run-down old barn in comparison.
“Wow,” breathed Ron, gazing around in amazement.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “Really, Ron. They’re just stores. Close your mouth, you look like a bumpkin.”
Ron gave her a hurt look as George laughed. “He is a bumpkin, Hermione. Give him a break. This is wicked.” He began to walk down the large aisle of shops, stopping to gaze into various windows.
The first window they came to had an assortment of women’s clothing. Ron felt himself blush just for looking at it. “Muggles don’t cover up much, do they?” he asked, eyeing a lacy pink garment that had more holes than not. “Don’t they get cold?”
Hermione grabbed his arm and dragged him forward. “It’s underwear, Ron. They wear it under their clothes.” Ron craned his neck backwards to look again at the strange undergarments, but Hermione punched his arm and he kept walking, a small smile on his lips.
The next store they came to, however, wasn’t much different than the first. While it was obvious that these clothes were to be worn above the racy undergarments, there still wasn’t much material involved. The colors were loud, and the designs almost garish.
Ron shook his head in wonder. “I don’t mind hand-me-downs so much anymore,” he said under his breath. Hermione giggled, and Ron’s eyes widened as he realized what he had said. “I mean, I -” He stopped, too embarrassed at voicing his thoughts out loud.
“It’s okay,” said Hermione with a small smile. “I know what you mean. Muggles have a very questionable fashion sense.”
“I wonder about their taste in music as well,” said George loudly as they walked past what was apparently a music shop. Loud noise was blaring from several tall black boxes in the doorway, which were shaking from the deafening sound. Ron covered his ears as he walked by; not only was the music loud, but it was terrible. Hermione bobbed her head to the music; he gave her an incredulous look and she shrugged her shoulders, flashing him a small, embarrassed smile in return. They walked a little faster.
The next shop they came to was a more normal looking bookshop. Hermione dragged them in, excitement written across her face. Fred and George, obviously keen to explore as many of the Muggle shops as possible, didn’t protest. Hermione raced to the back of the shop; Ron stayed up front with his brothers. They were immediately drawn to a section of thin, glossy books on the side of the shop. “I think they’re magazines,” said George, sounding interested. “Sort of like the Quibbler.”
“Only better!” Fred chortled as he apparently found something that struck his eye. Showing it to his twin, they erupted in gales of laughter.
Picking one up himself, Ron just about dropped it in embarrassment: a woman wearing very few clothes graced the first page, posing provocatively. Glancing around, he saw several similar magazines. Then one with a car caught his eye.
“Hey, Dad might like this,” he said, showing them a magazine with a flashy red car on the front.
“Perfect!” said George, grabbing the magazine from his hand. “Let’s get it, along with this one. Where’s Hermione? We need help with the Muggle money.”
“I’m right here,” said Hermione from behind them. She had purchased a large book, and Ron gave her a questioning look. “It’s for Muggle studies,” she replied, a faint hint of pink coloring her cheeks. “What are you getting?”
“Just some magazines for Dad,” replied Fred, trying to sound innocent.
Hermione narrowed her eyes. “That’s awfully nice of you. What magazine is it?”
He showed her the car magazine. “He loves Muggle cars, so we thought we’d get him this.”
Hermione raised her eyebrow when she saw the item in question. “Have you looked inside yet?” she asked knowingly, folding her arms across her chest and scowling.
Fred flipped through the magazine and his eyes went wide. “Excellent!” he crowed. “Even better!” He showed his brothers a glossy picture of a rather scantily clad woman draped across a sleek black car. Hermione huffed, and George and Ron laughed.
“How do we pay for it?” asked George, pulling out the Muggle money they had switched in Diagon Alley.
“Do you really think I’m going to help you buy something like that?” Hermione replied with a withering look. “If you want that rubbish, you’ll have to figure it out yourself. I’m going to get some coffee.” She stomped out of the bookshop, leaving Ron and his brothers on their own.
Ron made his way up to the cash register with the twins. They handed the young man behind the desk the magazines. “Hot issue,” the man grinned, nodding appreciatively at their choices.
After figuring out how to pay with the Muggle money, they left the shop and found Hermione sitting on a bench, sipping a cup of coffee. “Boys,” she muttered as she stood up, shaking her head. “What next?”
Ron smelled the coffee and felt his stomach grumble. “I’m hungry,” he declared, hoping there would be a place to eat somewhere in the vast shopping centre.
“Of course you are!” said Hermione, rolling her eyes. “Well, I checked the map and the food court is upstairs. Let’s head up to the next level.” She led the way over to a strange moving staircase.
Ron and the twins stopped and stared at the unusual stairs. They moved continuously upward, slowly carrying people to the next level. Hermione was just about to step onto the ominous machine when she realized the others weren’t behind her. “What’s wrong?” she asked curiously.
“What is that?” asked Fred, eyeing the moving stairs anxiously.
“It’s an escalator,” laughed Hermione. “Honestly, you’ve never seen one before? It’s perfectly safe.”
Ron looked at her skeptically. “It doesn’t look like it,” he said, trying not to sound nervous.
Hermione doubled over in laughter. “Ron! You’ve flown a broom, driven a flying car, and traveled through fireplaces “ and this doesn’t look safe?” She laughed merrily, and Ron blushed furiously yet again.
“I’d rather take a Portkey,” he mumbled, looking up. Muggles had such strange methods of transportation.
“Is there another way to get to the next level?” asked George casually. “Like a regular staircase?”
Hermione stared at him. “George! The staircases at Hogwarts move all the time!”
“Not while you’re on them!” he protested, too vehemently.
“Fine,” said Hermione, her mouth still twitching. “We’ll take the lift.”
“Right we will,” said Fred, following her away from the escalator. “No excapators for us wizards.”
Hermione walked over to a nearby wall, and pushed a red button. Two doors slid open and she led the way into what was basically a small black box with a single picture on the wall. Once again the three boys held back.
“Come on!” she exclaimed, exasperated. “It’s just a lift. It will take us up in no time.”
Ron didn’t want her to think he was scared of a second Muggle machine, so he swallowed hard and joined her. Fred and George followed reluctantly. The doors closed, and Ron felt his heart skip a bit. Hermione pushed another button on the wall of the small enclosed room, and all of a sudden Ron felt a strange lurch, as the box began to move.
They were going up.
As his stomach dropped, Ron grabbed Hermione’s hand. She looked at him in surprise, and he let go as if burned. He looked away, embarrassed and feeling slightly nauseous. To his surprise, Hermione took his hand again. Turning back, he saw her smile in support. She did not laugh, and for that he was grateful.
The lift settled with a small jolt and the doors opened. Fred and George rushed out, looking pale. “Wicked,” said George weakly, his voice unconvincing.
“I don’t ever want to do that again,” muttered Fred, running his hands through his hair.
Hermione just laughed again. “Let’s get something to eat, you’ll feel better then.”
She guided them to a large open concourse that was filled with the delicious aromas of all kinds of food. Shops along the edge offered anything a man could want to eat, and in the center hundreds of tables and chairs were set up for the diners. Hermione made her way toward a booth, apparently familiar with the food. Ron and the twins goggled at the myriad numbers of choices, unable to decide what to eat.
“It’s not the Great Hall,” Hermione shrugged. “But it’s decent.”
“It’s the best place I’ve ever seen,” Ron declared, his mouth watering.
Hermione snorted inelegantly and went off to purchase her food. Ron and the twins decided to use the rest of their Muggle money and try a little bit of everything. They joined Hermione at a large round table, trays loaded with samples from each small shop. As Hermione nibbled at her soup and sandwich, they dug into their lunch with gusto, sampling Muggle foods like men starved for weeks.
Finally they leaned back, patting their stomachs with a smile. “Come on,” said Hermione, finishing her drink. “We should be heading back.”
“Hermione, we just got here, we haven’t even seen half the place!” exclaimed Ron, feeling pleasantly full and not wanting to get up. “We haven’t found any other presents.”
“I think you’ve seen quite enough,” she said as she stood to clear her place. “Besides, you’re out of money, and your dad is the only who would actually appreciate a Muggle gift, so you’re better off shopping in Diagon Alley anyway.”
Ron sighed and helped the twins gather their trays. Reluctantly they left the food court and made their way back to the lift. Ron eyed it nervously, remembering the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach on the way up. He saw the twins exchange a look as well. Hermione sighed.
“Would you rather take the escalator?” she asked pointedly as she pushed the button in the wall. The doors opened and several Muggles fell out, talking and laughing excitedly. Hermione stepped in after them, holding the doors open for Ron and the twins. Ron entered, determined to hold down his lunch no matter how uncomfortable the ride. The twins nodded to each other and walked in as well. Hermione pushed a button, and the doors closed.
“We’re taking the short cut back,” announced George before the lift had even begun to move.
“See you back at the Leaky Cauldron,” added Fred with a wave.
They Apparated out with a loud crack, leaving Ron alone in the elevator with Hermione. He was too stunned to even notice the sinking feeling in his stomach as the machine plunged downward.
“I can’t believe them!” Hermione exclaimed. “Apparating in the middle of a Muggle area! What if they had been seen?”
Ron shook his head, not trusting himself to speak until he stepped out of the lift several moments later. “They’re of age now, they can do magic anywhere. They’re lucky they got out so soon. That was horrible.” He felt pale and clammy, and wondered if he had eaten something strange.
Hermione actually looked at him sympathetically. “Well, you don’t have to ever ride it again. You’ve seen the shopping centre now, so let’s go back to where we belong.” To his surprise she took his hand once more, called the twins a rather rude name, and led him toward the exit. Ron forgot about the unpleasant experience on the elevator as they began to laugh about the twins. He wasn’t even uncomfortable holding hands, which they continued to do until they got outside and had to put their gloves on.
Snow was falling hard outside as they made their way through the Muggle streets back toward the Leaky Cauldron. Entering the pub, they shook off the snow and stopped short when they saw a very angry Molly Weasley stomping toward them.
“Ronald Weasley! Where have you been, you’re late and we’ve been worried sick about the two of you! How could you go off like that without letting anyone know - ” She stopped when she saw the shopping bag in Hermione’s hands. “Did you go to a Muggle store? Ron, what were you thinking? It’s dangerous out there, what if -”
“Mum!” Ron interrupted, his face turning red as the entire pub turned to watch the uproar. “We’re fine, we just wanted to do some extra shopping, that’s all.”
“What’s wrong with Diagon Alley?” she snapped as she led them to the back of the pub. Everyone else was sitting around a large table, watching with various grins plastered on their faces. “You can find everything you’d possibly need here, there’s absolutely no need to go wondering around, alone. How could you even think of such a thing?” Behind her Fred and George were waving frantically at Ron, trying to get his attention. Ginny was smirking, and gave Ron a look that clearly said: Go for it.
“It was Fred and George’s idea,” he said immediately, annoyed that the twins had not only Apparated out of the elevator, but were trying to get out of trouble as well. Ginny burst out laughing, and even Harry grinned. The twins, on the other hand, gave him looks of pure loathing, and Ron knew he’d pay for it later.
“And I suppose you just do whatever they suggest?” his mum retorted, exasperated. “You’re a prefect, for goodness sakes!” She turned to Fred and George with her hands on her hips, her blistering tongue ready to lash out some more. “And you two should know better! You may be of age, but that doesn’t mean you can just go traipsing through Muggle London on your own! After all that’s happened I’d think you’d be more careful, especially with your brother. What in the name of Merlin could you possibly want from a shopping centre?”
Fred and George waffled, so Hermione spoke up, eyes twinkling. “We went to the bookstore, because I needed a book for Muggle studies. Fred and George found some magazines for Mr. Weasley.” She showed Mrs. Weasley her book, then smiled innocently at the twins. “You should show her what you bought.”
George’s mouth fell open, and Fred glared daggers at her. Mrs. Weasley looked skeptical yet pleased that the twins had done something thoughtful. “Oh, boys, that’s very kind of you. I suppose he would be interested in what the Muggles like to read. What are they then?” She glanced expectantly between Fred and George.
“Go on,” said Ginny, grinning. “Let’s see what you got Dad.” She winked at Ron; apparently she knew very well what type of magazine the twins had purchased.
Fred took out the magazine and flashed it quickly at his mother, smiling broadly. “It’s on cars, Mum. You know how Dad likes cars! Remember that Ford Anglia he had? Boy, he loved that car.” Fred prattled on as he tried to stuff the magazine back into his shopping bag, but Mrs. Weasley narrowed her eyes suspiciously; she seemed to have caught on quickly and ripped the magazine out of Fred’s hands before he could do anything with it.
“Yes, your father likes cars,” she replied, thumbing through the magazine and arching her eyebrow higher and higher with each page. “He does not, however, appreciate tasteless Muggle women laying all over them, thank you very much.” She folded the magazine and demanded the bag. “Let me have the other one as well.”
“Aw, Mum!” said George, as Fred reluctantly handed over the bag. “How do you know Dad won’t like them? Besides, there are lots of good articles in there, he’d learn all about cars while he rests.”
“And I suppose you’ve read the articles?” Mrs. Weasley asked, rolling her eyes. “No, your father doesn’t need anything of the sort cluttering his side table. Next time get him a nice edition of Muggle Magic: How They Survive Without It: his copy is falling apart. Stay away from the Muggle stores “ and their magazines!” She stomped off to the bar, where she threw the offensive magazines in the trash. The table erupted in gales of laughter as Fred and George sighed forlornly. Ron grinned at Hermione: they were off the hook, thanks to her quick and brilliant misdirection.
“Come on,” said Mrs. Weasley impatiently, gathering her things. “It’s time to go. Wait until your father hears what you’ve done now, he’ll never recover.”
“He’ll want those magazines,” muttered Fred under his breath as they made their way through the crowded pub.
“He’ll get them,” replied George, humming innocently. As they walked past the trashcan, he waved his wand behind his back, murmuring under his breath; the shopping bag with the magazines flew into Hermione’s hands. Before she could say anything, Fred plucked them from her and tucked them into his robes. “Thanks, Hermione. So glad you joined us.” He walked away with a wink, chuckling to himself. Ron couldn’t help but grin at the look on Hermione’s face. Behind him, Ginny and Harry started laughing. Hermione finally gave in, and smiled.
“I’m glad too, I suppose,” she replied, looking at Ron. “I don’t have to do Ron’s homework for an entire month!” Ron blushed, then laughed with the others. Together they left the Leaky Cauldron and made their way to St. Mungo’s to visit their father. Ron looked forward to telling him about the shopping centre; he knew his dad would enjoy every bit of their adventure “ and the magazines.
* * *
A/N: This story was written for the One-Shot Challenge: Muggle Artifacts. The prompt involved a witch or wizard and their reaction to a Muggle item. And so I put Ron and his brothers on an elevator/lift, for a bit of Weasley fluff. I hope you enjoyed their adventure at the shopping centre!