Disclaimer: I don’t own it. JKR owns the Potterverse. I just like to play in it from time to time.
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The Order meeting lasted a couple of hours. There was some discussion of recent Death Eater attacks on Muggles in Wales and of some of Minister Scrimgeour’s efforts. The main part of the meeting, however, was devoted to Harry and Ron’s kidnapping and escape. Harry recounted every detail, from the time they left the Apparition license office to when they stepped back through the door of Grimmauld Place. Opinion was split over Percy’s involvement. Some thought, or hoped, that Percy was acting under the Imperious Curse. Others, including Ron and Harry, believed he was acting of his own accord.
Mrs. Weasley looked numb as the discussion moved from Percy to how they would respond to this latest attempt on Harry’s life. She had spent most of the afternoon crying about Percy being missing and Ron being injured. Remus had told her before the meeting about Percy’s involvement in the day’s events. She again showed the inner strength that had impressed Harry earlier in the day: she refused to the miss the meeting and sat quietly during the proceedings. She took sips of tea and kept a tissue nearby as she was being comforted by her husband. Harry could tell the war was taking its toll on both of them.
After the meeting, a small, very subdued party was given for Harry’s birthday, and to celebrate both his and Ron’s receiving their Apparition licenses. Ginny and Hermione had enlisted Dobby’s help for preparation of the evening meal and the cake for Harry. Hermione insisted on giving Dobby some sort of payment for his efforts, but Dobby was thrilled to have a chance to see them all, especially Harry Potter, and claimed that was by far payment enough. Finally, after much debate and consternation on Hermione’s part, Dobby agreed to take a single Galleon for his work. He cleaned up and left after the party--if it could be called that--ended.
Harry hadn’t felt like opening his presents but had done so and was sincerely pleased with each one. Ron had given him a new set of goggles to use during Quidditch matches, and Harry couldn’t help but smile when he looked at them. The entire world is waiting on me to kill or be killed and Ron is thinking about school Quidditch, he thought.
Hermione had given him a book: Defeating the Dark, Powerful Spells to Defeat Powerful Dark Wizards. He’d glanced through a few pages, noting a couple of new spells that he would have to try in training.
The rest of the presents had been opened and examined, and by the end, the mood in the room had lifted somewhat. Harry was disappointed that Ginny hadn’t gotten him anything, but he reckoned that was to be expected. It did not take long for the events of the day to catch up with everyone, and soon they were all moving towards their bedrooms. Everyone except Harry.
Harry sat in front of the fire in the study, contemplating the events of the day. He had been trapped in Tom Riddle’s graveyard. He had managed to destroy a Horcrux, almost by accident. He found out that a member of the family that had taken him in and shown him love he had never known had betrayed them all. He was able to see the magic that could keep him from Apparating although Ron couldn’t, and he had also somehow managed to communicate to Ginny that something was wrong.
The door opened and Aberforth walked in. Harry, startled by the interruption, stood up.
“Harry, sit down; you don’t have to stand just because I walked into the room,” Abe said with a smirk. “You look like a young man who has some questions.”
Harry immediately built the walls in his mind; he had no desire to let anyone into his thoughts tonight. He stared at the bartender.
“Oh, Harry, I’m not entering your mind or anything like that. I am a bartender after all. I can tell when someone needs to talk, and you look like you need to talk.” He stepped towards the fire, then pulled out his wand and conjured an old, well-worn bar between himself and Harry. He pulled a bottle of firewhiskey from under the bar, poured a shot glass, and passed it over to Harry. “Happy Birthday, sir.”
Harry smiled and took the offered drink. The fumes rising from the glass met his nostrils, and his eyes began to water before he even managed a sip. “Cheers,” he said lightly before pouring the amber liquid into his mouth. It was a sensation unlike anything Harry had ever experienced. The liquid was sweet, yet seemed to burn all the way down his throat. He coughed several times, and his eyes continued to water as he slammed the glass down on the bar.
He tried to stand straight and stop coughing. Abe looked at him with a grin on his face. “I never get tired of seeing someone react to their first shot of firewhiskey,” he snorted. “So, what do you want to talk about?” He replaced the shot glass on the bar with a larger glass and filled it with mead. Harry gratefully took a sip of the less powerful drink and began to relax. After several minutes of drinking the mead, Harry was finally ready to talk.
“Well, sir--I mean Abe,” Harry started, “I was thinking about today, and I would like to ask you about some things that happened. When Ron and I got there--got to the Graveyard--I felt my scar start to twinge. I raised my mental walls, and all of a sudden I was able to see the magical barriers, and I knew that we wouldn’t be able to Apparate until we got beyond them. The Dementors didn’t affect me as much either. Then we got back here, and Ginny told me she knew something was wrong a few minutes before we arrived, like I had told her something was wrong.”
Harry was never one to trust easily or let people know what he was thinking, but he found it easy to ask the old barman about things that were confusing him. Perhaps it was a Dumbledore family trait or the combined effects of the firewhiskey and the mead, but Harry was ready to talk to him about most anything.
“I was wondering when that would happen,” Abe said in a friendly voice.
Harry’s confusion grew. “When what would happen?”
“Why, when you would be able to see dark magic when you were focused using the Occlumency techniques I was teaching you,” Abe explained. “I’m surprised it happened this quickly, but Albus always did say you were an exceptional young wizard.”
Harry grinned at the unexpected praise. His desire to please his former headmaster lived on even if the man had died. “So the Occlumency will allow me to see dark magic?”
“Not exactly. You see, as you do Occlumency, your mind focuses, closes out the world around you. The distractions are pushed away, and your own abilities become sharpened. You, Harry, can see dark magic because you are a powerful wizard, just like Albus. You were able to see it today because you were able to shield yourself from the distraction around you and focus your mind,” Abe explained, refilling Harry’s glass of mead.
“So that is how Professor Dumbledore was able to see all the dark magic, in the cave,” Harry said, understanding dawning in his eyes. “But in the cave he was muttering; I thought it was some spell that reveals the presence of dark magic.”
“It may have been, but he may have been using this technique. He was never as good at closing his mind to distraction and seeing the darkness around him. Well, I guess you would agree, he had a great deal on his mind,” Abe declared with a twinkle in his eye. “He always used a saying, to focus his thoughts.”
“Wait, if I was closed off to the distractions of the world and everything, then what happened with Ginny? She said she just knew something was wrong.” Harry’s brow was furrowed in thought, attempting to put the pieces together.
“Well now, that is something different, isn’t it?” Abe smirked. “That has to do with the people you feel connected to”the people you love.”
Harry stopped thinking and turned bright red, staring at the barman.
“No, not just that kind of love, although it would certainly include that.” Abe grinned broadly at the blushing young man in front of him. “No, this is not romantic love, but more the love that friends have for each other. The kind of love you have for Ron and Hermione. Because of that love, Harry, you have a connection to them. You probably have the same kind of feeling for Neville and Luna, if not to the same degree. That love you have for them provides you with a connection, a bond. When you fight together they give you some of their strength and you give them some of yours. That’s why you and Ron fight so well together.”
“But what about Ginny today?” Harry asked, still not fully understanding what the barman was talking about.
“When you were focused and all your abilities were sharpened, you were able to connect with her; I think I know why,” he stated, raising his eyebrows a little at Harry. “You connected with her and let her know you needed her. As you practice this you will be able to draw greater and greater strength from her and the rest of your friends.”
“Is that how Voldemort got be so powerful? Is he drawing on the power of the people around him?” Harry questioned, feeling a bit sick about being about to draw power from his friends, afraid that he could use them unwillingly.
“No, Harry--Voldemort does have a connection to those around him, but not the same as yours. He rules his followers by fear and manipulation. Those that follow you do so because they love and respect you. They would gladly sacrifice themselves to help you, whereas the Death Eaters would love to see Voldemort defeated so they might have a chance to take his place.” Abe was absentmindedly cleaning a glass as he spoke. “Albus was really good at the connection thing. He was able to form one with almost every student he ever had.”
“So that’s how he knew what was going in castle all the time.” Harry smiled, thinking of all the times Dumbledore had seemed omnipotent during his schooling.
“Yes, I believe so. He would sit in his office and just check up on the students, make sure they were feeling all right, and that everything was well. The connection doesn’t allow you see thoughts so much as to read emotions. Albus never sent messages through his connections, however. The fact that you sent Ginny a message of need speaks to how strongly you feel about her.”
Harry began to study the half-empty glass of mead. “I do feel strongly for her. I think I may even love her, but I don’t know if I should be with her. There is so much to do, and so much is uncertain. She deserves someone more…stable in her life,” Harry sighed.
“Back when Grindelwald was causing his mischief, Albus and I had the same conversation. Her name was Katrina. She was this beautiful French witch. Albus was completely in love with her, but the war was raging. I asked him once if she was worth the risks: the risk of losing her, the risk of something happening to her, and the pain that would cause. He decided she wasn’t and so they broke up before we went off to find Grindelwald.” Abe had a far away look on his face as if he was seeing the events that he was speaking about.
“So what happened?” Harry asked, hearing a creaking sound in the hall.
“She died while we were gone. She was killed during a battle on the Muggle side of the war,” Abe stated, the twinkle leaving his eyes. “Albus was trying to protect her, but he just couldn’t, you see. So, is Ginny worth it? Is she worth the pain that you would feel losing her? Is the joy of being with her worth the risk that comes from allowing yourself to love her?”
Harry thought about this for several minutes. He hadn’t been sure that what he was doing--not being with her, not allowing her too close--was the right thing. Now it seemed the absolute wrong thing. “I have really mucked this up,” he said, his face dropping into his hands. “Yes, she is worth it, but I don’t think she sees me as worth it. At least not anymore.”
“Well, time will tell, Harry,” Abe declared, the twinkle returning to his eyes. “Why don’t you go up to bed; it has been a long day, and you have to train in the morning.” Abe waved his wand again and the mead, the bar, and all the bottles disappeared.
Harry got up to leave, hearing the creaking noise again as he approached the door. “Night, Abe,” he said and walked out.
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A/N: Hope you liked this one. If you did let me know, I love the encouragement. If you didn’t let me know, I can always improve the story and your suggestions can help me do that. In other words review and tell my you thought.
Big thanks to my pre-betas, cableguysmom and Kerrbear. And as always thanks to my incredibly patient beta, JenC for doing such a wonderful job making this story readable. Thanks ladies.
Next up; A trip to Godric’s Hollow.