Petunia awoke to a familiar face and a burning pain on her arm.
“You stupid girl! What did they tell you to make you do it?”
Petunia stared in shock at the hooked nose and greasy hair as she registered the strong arms supporting her.
“I… I… I’m sorry. It was stupid, wasn’t it? Stupid, stupid, stupid…”
She didn’t know anything except that she had betrayed the Order and even worse “ far, far worse “ betrayed Lily.
“It undoubtedly was! Now answer me. Tell me why you did it!”
“They killed Lily… I don’t know… I shouldn’t’ve joined… Murderers…”
It was hard for her to formulate any thoughts at all and she gnashed her teeth to suppress the scream of pain that threatened to break forth from her lips. But she remembered that she had no right to feel pain, not when Lily would never feel again and kept silent.
“Evans! What are you talking about?” he asked sharply, “What’s wrong with Lily? She can’t be dead, we’d know about it!”
“I… killed… Lily… Betrayed…”
“Is this what they told you? Is this what they made you believe?” His tone had changed from alarmed to something akin to pitying.
Petunia shook her head violently. Why wouldn’t he understand?
Suddenly she felt the pain go from her arm, all at once, leaving only a dull ache behind. As her mind was able to formulate coherent thoughts once again, it dawned on her what the pain must have meant.
“The Dark Mark?”
She twisted frantically, trying to check and see if she’d been branded. She couldn’t remember anything but pain. Then, slowly it all came back. The Death Eaters, You-Know-Who, her offer to spy on the Order, her desperation and confusion.
“What have I done?” she groaned, hit by the full force of the idiocy of her actions, “Severus, tell me I haven’t been branded! Tell me I imagined it…”
“You’ve imagined nothing “ but neither have you been branded. The Dark Lord was beginning a test when he was called away. He had no intention of letting you join so easily. I must ask again, though, what made you do what you did?”
She heard contempt in his voice, but a strange sort of understanding as well. It did make sense, for she knew his story. He had been seduced by the Dark Arts, still in school. But when the Muggle killings had begun in earnest, or, more accurately, when he had witnessed Lily injured horribly (an injury that left her entire body covered in scars) he had turned back, joined the Order, joined Dumbledore, and turned spy. You-Know-Who still believed Snape to be a loyal Death Eater, but the Order knew better. Petunia had known him for far longer than that, though.
She had always been aware of him merely as the “dirty boy who lived down Spinner’s End” but when her magic had begun to show, Severus had told her what it meant. Throughout their childhood he had been there to help her, though he had always been more Lily’s friend. Severus and Lily had spent hours playing in secret worlds of make-believe that Petunia couldn’t grasp, even though she was the witch and Lily the Muggle.
“Petunia!”
She was well aware of how long he had been waiting, but it was too painful for her to say it. Too painful for her to admit that Lily was gone “ dead “ and that it was her own fault. Finally she could make him wait no longer; Petunia had to make him understand.
“They got Lily,” was all she could bring herself to say.
“Yes they did. How did you…?”
Now Petunia was confused. How could he be taking this so lightly? And hadn’t he said just a minute ago that he didn’t know that Lily was dead?
“I saw it! I saw the curse… I saw it all and I didn’t help… I left her, I betrayed her, Severus. Kill me, Severus. I betrayed her…”
“No. No, you don’t understand. She is alive, Petunia, she is captured. But they must have… You saw her, did you say? And you betrayed her? But you know you would never…”
“But I did! I did!”
Petunia couldn’t help it; she broke down and sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder. She knew that she didn’t deserve even his awkward comfort, but she wanted to cry herself dry and she wanted to cease to exist. To exchange her life for Lily’s.
“Petunia! Listen to me,” he stated firmly, “Your memory has been tampered with, I’m sure of it. There’s a simple spell. Wait…”
He murmured an incantation and waved his wand in a loose sort of way and Petunia felt as though a warm breeze had blown right through her brain.
“Yes… A very good job, though. You’ll need St. Mungo’s to restore your correct memory. Listen carefully. The memory is false! Lily is alive but captured and you need to help us to retrieve her. Understood?”
Numbly Petunia nodded. And then it registered. Lily was alive! The notion filled her with an unbridled happiness, the likes of which she had never before felt, not even when she was first accepted to Hogwarts. Lily was alive! Lily was alive! Somewhere out there, alive, and breathing! But she still needed to be saved. Lily was alive. Alive… but captured.
“What do you know?” she asked, wanting to get started right away.
Severus looked relieved.
“You’ll have to come back to headquarters… And, Petunia, I haven’t told anyone what exactly you were willing to do to get Lily back. No one knows you tried to join him... I just have to say that nothing the Death Eaters promise will come true, not the way you want it. They lie and deceive and, no matter what, they are the enemy. I will not tell anyone of your… bad judgment… But you must swear never to look to them for help again. Swear it.”
It was said like a command, yet Petunia felt as though she could say no. Still, she knew that he was right and that she had been horribly weak to attempt to gain the trust of the Death Eaters.
“I swear. Now, let’s go find Lily.”