Severus had stayed true to his word and hadn’t said anything to any of the Order members, but Petunia still felt a horrible stone of guilt in the pit of her stomach. Now that she knew Lily to be alive she recognized the horrible consequences there would have been if she had gone through with her terrible and barely thought-out plan.
Petunia was still acutely aware that she had gone too far, and even more aware of the fact that she had endangered the Order beyond belief, and the worst part was that she wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t do it again “ do anything to get her sister back if she were ever harmed again. If it were Petunia’s fault. But no, she reminded herself, Lily isn’t hurt! Still, Petunia knew she was fast becoming a liability and, quite apart from having a burning desire to save her sister, Petunia was ready to go to any lengths to prove her loyalty to the Order “ both to the others and to herself.
She just hoped she would be ready for whatever she would have to face. Petunia had always exceeded expectations academically at school “ she’d had to suffer many a remark on her being a Mudblood for it. But there was a certain bravery that Lily had always had that Petunia had just as strongly lacked.
Petunia recalled a family picnic long ago. She remembered being terrified of the many bugs and hiding behind her mother. And Lily being brave and going to squish the insects for her. Even though she was the older sister and had always felt very protective of Lily, when it came down to it, it seemed Lily was just far more capable.
That was why everyone had been so surprised when it was Petunia who had received a letter from a mysterious magical school, and Lily hadn’t. Her parents had been shocked, but proud to have a witch in the family. They had expected Lily to get a letter, too, when she turned eleven, they had expected her to outshine Petunia once again. But the letter had never come. Petunia had been just as shocked. Though, she had to admit, she, Petunia, had always been the one to whom strange things happened, not Lily. Perhaps it was supposed to be like this, she had had mused.
Despite the seemingly horrible injustice, Lily had never resented Petunia for being a witch “ Lily had always loved her big sister just the same. It had hurt them both that Petunia was gone for so long, and Petunia knew that it would have been very easy for Lily to become jealous and bitter. Lily never did.
And so Petunia had gone through seven years of magical training at Hogwarts, becoming a witch. She had to admit, though only to herself, that it was indeed a magical time being at Hogwarts, where there was no Lily to outshine her. Of course she missed her little sister. Still, she reveled in never being compared to someone who would always outdo her.
School had always been fun for Petunia, though never simple. She’d worked hard to be a good student and she’d received top marks for her efforts. Still, there had been time for friends, not many, but a dear few. Petunia had always been a bit of a loner, never popular with anyone who could be considered cool. She’d had studies and enough close friends to make life wonderful, though, and thought that her character might have been helped along some by facing certain small disadvantages. In any case, the Hogwarts days were the best of her life.
Then, of course, she’d been thrust out into the real world. A world of war, and she was right in the middle, working for the Order of the Phoenix. That had only been a little more than a year ago, although to Petunia it seemed like much longer.
And so, here she was, sitting in the Headquarters next to Severus, who had only graduated from Hogwarts a few months ago himself, waiting to receive instructions and letting her huge mistake go through her head again. I’m not a liability, she tried to tell herself, and Lily is alive anyway! It wasn’t having much effect. Lily’s death “ Petunia’s betrayal “ seemed so real! And the encounter with the Death Eaters, though almost equally horrifying, really had been real. Petunia suppressed a shudder and turned her attention to Mad-Eye Moody. He was an important figure in the war against You-Know-Who, and a bit of a frightening character to the younger members, Petunia included.
Petunia and Severus had already spoken to a few of the Order members “ Mad-Eye was the one who would be giving them instructions, it seemed.
“We’re waiting for the rest,” he stated gruffly, looking keenly into the two expectant faces.
Petunia turned to Severus in surprise. He seemed just as shocked as she was.
“The rest?” he asked quietly, but Mad-Eye ignored him and continued to pace.
Finally four men “ boys, really “ entered the room. They were all laughing, enjoying some joke no doubt told by the two who walked in the center. Two dark-haired, brown-eyed, pureblood, jovial boys. Petunia felt Severus tense up next to her and she tensed, too, though for an entirely different reason.
The Marauders. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Petunia had been at school with them, a year higher and in a different house. The four had graduated recently, at the same time as Severus, and had joined the Order, but she hadn’t seen much of any of them. She wouldn’t have had much to do with them at all “ except for one tiny detail.
As James gazed at her, Petunia felt little shocks go through her entire body, and butterflies erupt in her stomach. Ever since the moment she had first set eyes on James Potter, this feeling had been there. Ever since her second year, when she had watched him be eagerly sorted, she had wanted nothing more than for him to notice her. But he never had.
Petunia had spent her years at Hogwarts daydreaming of James, nightdreaming of James, and watching James whenever she got the chance, and every second growing more and more infatuated. Dreamily euphoric, Petunia stared at James.
Severus, on the other hand, was far less thrilled with the new arrivals. He and the others glared at each other. Petunia remembered that they had been rivals at school “ having watched James as often as she did, she had witnessed confrontations between the Marauders and Severus. It looked to her as if they haven’t gotten over their shared animosity any more than she had gotten over her great love. Her crush, really.
“All right. Now that we’re all here,” Mad-Eye started, shooting a death glare at the four late arrivals, “I can give you your instructions. We don’t have much information, but we know that Voldemort has captured valuable fighters and is holding them hostage. Marlene McKinnon, Andrea Smithson, Alice Longbottom, Susana Finch. A few Muggles.”
Petunia felt a surge of anger that this wasn’t about Lily at all “ Lily was only one of “a few Muggles”. She sensed that Severus felt the same, but when he opened his mouth to speak, his tone was perfectly civil, if a little derogatory.
“They are all female purebloods? And the Muggles female as well, I presume?”
Mad-Eye nodded, apparently glad someone had caught on so fast.
“Yes. And we don’t know why. It’s not like Him to be so selective, and we suspect there’s something behind it all. You are to find out what he’s planning “ and to save the hostages, if possible. It’ll be tough, but Dumbledore seems to think you’re up to this. Just remember at all times … CONSTANT VIGILANGE!”
Everyone jumped out of his (or in Petunia’s case her) seat as Moody ended with an exclamation.
“All right, now you six are to all work together…”
“NO!” came an outcry from Sirius, James and Severus as one.
Petunia and Remus shared an embarrassed glance. Petunia was glad it wouldn’t just be her and the passions of two conflicting parties. Both Remus and Peter seemed a bit more level-headed and self-controlled than their friends.
Then again, his passion, his life, his spark were what Petunia loved James for, really. It was his strength that appealed to her and she almost sighed aloud at the thought, before mentally kicking herself at the absurdity of the cliché musings.
Mad-Eye gave the three mutinous boys another glower.
“Fine. I can give this job to many other witches and wizards who are far more qualified than any of you.”
Even though Petunia doubted that this was true “ the Order was at a huge loss, fighting almost ten to one against the Death Eaters, currently “
a loud protest came from all six teens.
“Well then learn to work together. Now, listen closely to your briefing. We have inside information that the hostages are being kept in the Alps. In a place that is hard to find and impenetrable by magic, but you will have to get through the defenses somehow. If you survive the trip there at all. Because you obviously can’t apparate, and we don’t know the location. You have to find it and get there “ in a non-magical fashion. Once you’re there you’re all on your own. You have to remember that you’ll be depending on each other, so trust each other. And only each other! Most important is CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”
With these words Mad-Eye left the six alone. They were all still collecting their nerves from Mad-Eye’s idea of a good farewell and from the news that they would be working together.
Finally, Remus broke the ice.
“Well,” he said and faltered before continuing, “Well, we should get started on something.”
Peter squeaked his agreement and Petunia nodded, glancing nervously at James. He didn’t even notice her gaze, as he was still too busy staring angrily at Severus.
“Snivellous, if you think you’re taking charge, think again,” Sirius said threateningly, as Severus opened his mouth to speak.
“And who will take charge then? You, emotional Black? Or arrogant Potter? Or the we…”
His cold, mocking sentence was cut off by a silencing spell from James. Though Petunia knew on some level that all three men were equally to blame, she felt a surge of happiness that James was making things better. Severus really had been out of order, she decided. James had done what was right. As always. She wondered idly if she would ever be right for him.
Remus stepped forward, waved his wand at Severus to enable him to speak once more and opened his own mouth before Severus could make use of his reinstated ability.
“Look. None of us like this.”
Petunia noticed Severus glaring at Remus as though he, too, had been as rash as Sirius. And there seemed to be a trace of fear in his look, as well. Petunia didn’t understand, and for a second she wanted to find out what the secret was that they all seemed to share. But she pushed her curiosity to the back of her mind “ an incredible feat, really, for one so nosy “ and listened closely, hoping that Remus would make things simpler.
“We have to deal with it,” he was continuing, “the lives of innocent people “ good people! “ are at stake here. We have to find them. We have to save them. I don’t know about you,” here his eyes traveled over Sirius and James with a somewhat disappointed expression, “but I think that saving them should be our only priority.”
“And staying alive,” Peter added nervously.
That did it. The Marauders and Petunia laughed easily, and Severus uncrossed his arms and at least looked ready to listen.
Petunia decided to pose the most important question.
“Does anyone know where to start looking? The Alps are big…”
The blank looks she received were a bad sign, she knew. But still. They were going to save Lily, Petunia was sure of it. She couldn’t help grinning.
For Lily by Valentinia
Chapter Notes: If anyone has an idea for a chapter title - let me know!
Chapter Endnotes: Don't forget to review! ;) And give me a title suggestion, if you've got one.