A Past Reclaimed by nuw255
Chapter Notes: Harry has obviously mastered phase one of his Occlumency training, and will consequently begin phase two in his next lesson. Of course, Occlumency won’t be the only thing Dumbledore will want to discuss when he gets the opportunity to talk to Harry one-on-one.
As he made his way to Dumbledore’s office for his Occlumency lesson, Harry’s contented smile slowly gave way to an expression of dread. His plan to embarrass Malfoy by showing him what it was really like to be under the influence of a Love Potion was working flawlessly, but now he had to face Dumbledore alone after having employed Occlumency against him earlier in the day.
“Nosebleed Nougat,” he sighed as he arrived at the stone gargoyle. It leapt aside, and Harry stepped uneasily onto the moving staircase that would carry him directly to the Headmaster’s office.
“Good evening, Harry,” Dumbledore greeted him warmly.
“Hello, Professor,” Harry replied as he sank into his usual seat in front of the Headmaster’s desk.
“I was most impressed with your use of Occlumency earlier today,” said Dumbledore, getting to the point immediately. “You were able to prevent both Professor Snape and myself from seeing into your mind; that is excellent progress.”
“Thank you, sir,” Harry said politely as he waited for Dumbledore to begin lecturing him on the inappropriateness of using Occlumency against his professors.
“The praise is well deserved, Harry. However, I wonder if you will meet with the same success when I perform Legilimency using my wand.”
Harry gulped. This was it; the moment of truth. He had to keep Dumbledore out of his mind now, or the Headmaster would find out all about how he and Ginny had tricked the Fat Lady into giving them an alibi so that he could force-feed the Love Potion to Malfoy.
“Are you ready?” Dumbledore asked as he drew his wand.
Clear your mind, Harry told himself firmly. Clear your mind! He tried to focus on the blank flagstone, but his worries about getting caught kept invading his consciousness, breaking his concentration. Finally, after a much longer wait than Dumbledore usually allowed him, Harry had to give it up as hopeless. He nodded.
“Legilimens,” said Dumbledore.
Immediately, all Harry could think about was a blank flagstone in an empty corridor. He sat calmly as the Headmaster continued trying to break into his mind, but all either of them could see was that flagstone. Finally, after several minutes of trying, Dumbledore lifted the spell and Harry’s mind was once again bombarded with a multitude of thoughts. Dumbledore sat thinking for a long moment before he spoke.
“Tell me, was your mind already focused when I began my assault or did you wait until you were able to feel it?”
“I waited,” Harry answered. “I mean, I didn’t do it on purpose, but I just had so many thoughts flying around that I couldn’t concentrate on the flagstone. But when you started your attack, suddenly that flagstone was all I could think about.”
“Excellent,” Dumbledore exclaimed happily. “That means that emptying your mind has become a reflexive action. We may now move on to the second phase of your Occlumency training: hiding specific memories.”
“Professor?” Harry interrupted. “Why do I need to do that if I can already keep you out of my mind?”
“Because it would not be practical for you to focus solely on a blank flagstone if Lord Voldemort were attempting to use Legilimency on you during a duel. Of course, there is also the fact that your current success will not be able to block out your visions. Our goal is to make your mind impenetrable to attack, and hiding away specific memories is the next step in that process.”
“What do you mean, I can’t block the visions?” Harry asked in surprise. “Voldemort can’t be any better at Legilimency than you are, can he?”
Dumbledore shook his head. “No, he is no more skilled than I. However, the ability to keep me from seeing what is hidden inside your mind is not the same thing as the ability to keep me out of your mind completely. Observe. Legilimens!”
Once again, Harry found himself immersed in the memory of watching a blank flagstone in an empty corridor. A moment later, however, the flagstone was replaced by Dumbledore’s face.
“You see, Harry?” said Dumbledore. “Although I am unable to see what you are hiding, I can still force words and images into your mind.”
Dumbledore’s face vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared, and Harry was left with his blank flagstone. A moment later, the spell ended and he found himself back in the Headmaster’s office.
“Did you just appear and talk to me in my mind?” Harry asked in amazement.
“Yes,” Dumbledore replied. “What I just did is very similar to what Lord Voldemort sometimes does by accident, and has done intentionally on a few occasions.”
Harry’s heart sank; it had seemed he was getting close to being able to keep Voldemort out of his head, but now he felt like he was right back at the beginning.
“This is why we must continue our lessons, Harry,” Dumbledore continued. “Not to worry, though; I am quite pleased with the pace at which you are progressing. Now, before we begin the second phase of your training, I would like to discuss today’s situation with Mr. Malfoy.”
If Harry’s heart had sunk before, then it must have fallen into his toes at this announcement. Nevertheless, he willed himself to maintain a passive appearance as he asked, “What about it, sir?”
“Harry,” Dumbledore said kindly, “we both know that you are responsible for the predicament in which Mr. Malfoy currently finds himself.”
Not trusting himself to be able to make a convincing denial at the moment, Harry didn’t move.
“However,” Dumbledore continued, “as you seem to have an acceptable alibi and there is no actual evidence against you, neither I nor any other member of the staff will be able to punish you for it.” His eyes twinkled merrily as he added, “And between you and me, given how well your rather creative punishment fits his crime, I find myself lacking the inclination to search for evidence.”
Harry allowed himself a small smile as he began to relax. Dumbledore wasn’t going to punish him! But how could that be?
“Sir?” he asked hesitantly. “I appreciate what you just said, but I really wish that I didn’t have to take matters into my own hands. I mean, Malfoy publicly slandered Ginny and then convinced a professor to Obliviate her, and yet no one even suggested punishing him for it. He didn’t even so much as get detention or lose a few House points! How come he always gets away with that sort of thing?”
“Because Mr. Malfoy is extraordinarily well-versed in the laws and customs of the Wizarding world,” Dumbledore sighed. “He knows exactly where all of the lines are drawn, and is therefore able to walk very close to them without actually crossing into the realm of prohibited behavior. This particular situation is one that dates back several centuries to when the Wizarding world and the Muggle world first began to be divided. You see, the governments of that time were nearly always controlled by Muggles, and their fear of magic led to the creation of some rather outrageous laws. These were usually prohibitions on the practice of magic, but in a few cases they went so far as to actually prohibit merely referring to anything magical in conversation.”
“Sounds like they’d get along great with the Dursleys,” Harry muttered.
“Indeed,” Dumbledore chuckled. “What you need to understand, Harry, is that because of these strict limitations on what could and could not be expressed aloud or in writing, one of the first things the Ministry of Magic did when it was formed was guarantee the right to free speech. At the time, this was understood to mean that the government could not arbitrarily dictate topics that were taboo and could not be discussed. Over the centuries, however, the definition has been broadened to the point that now it protects people like Rita Skeeter and Matilda Johansen from being prosecuted for libel, and it protects young Mr. Malfoy from being punished for slandering another student.”
“But surely you could make a school rule against it,” Harry insisted. “I mean, okay, so the Ministry’s being stupid about this as usual, but-”
“Believe it or not, I attempted that very thing years ago, when I first became Headmaster,” Dumbledore interrupted. “Alas, the school governors overruled me, and I daresay they would do the same today. Perhaps one day things will be different, but for now we have to simply work with what we have.”
Harry nodded, although he was still less than pleased. “I understand, sir.”
“Good,” said Dumbledore. “Now, at the risk of sounding like a responsible educator, I would like to urge you not to continue Mr. Malfoy’s punishment. The humiliation he has suffered today was appropriate to his crime, but to attempt to go further would be unwise.”
“Honestly, Professor, I wasn’t planning anything else,” Harry replied quickly.
Dumbledore nodded. “In that case, I believe we still have time to begin the second phase of your Occlumency training. As we discussed, this phase involves hiding certain memories within your mind so that they cannot be viewed from without. I will be teaching you a simple but relatively unknown charm that will help you. Do you have any questions so far?”
“Er, what’s the charm?” Harry asked in a half-joking manner.
“The incantation is Occultus. You will be casting it on individual memories, so it will take some time to effectively hide everything that you want to protect.” He paused, lost in thought for a moment, before asking, “Have I ever taught you how to use a Pensieve?”
“No, sir,” Harry answered. “You’ve sort of explained what it does before, but I don’t really know how to use it.”
“Then that is where we shall begin,” said Dumbledore. “In order to remove a memory from your mind, you must immerse yourself in it, much the same way you do when clearing your mind to ward off a Legilimency attack. Then you simply touch your wand to your temple and will the memory to flow out of your mind as you draw the wand away. Any questions?”
Harry shook his head; it seemed simple enough, after all.
“Excellent. Go on and give it a try, then. Use a simple memory to start; something pleasant, but not too long or emotional.”
“All right,” said Harry. He closed his eyes and focused his thoughts on the memory of his last Quidditch practice. It had been pleasant enough, but he had no real emotional attachment to it. Concentrating hard, he sank into the memory of a particularly satisfying dive. He could feel the smooth wood of his Firebolt’s handle under his fingers as he hurtled toward the ground, the wind whipping through his hair as he inched closer and closer to the fleeing Golden Snitch.
Moving slowly, so as not to break his concentration, Harry raised his wand to his temple and forced the memory to follow it as he drew it away. The memory began to fade as his wand moved further and further from his temple until it finally disappeared entirely.
“I forgot it!” Harry exclaimed, his eyes snapping open.
“Of course,” Dumbledore said with a satisfied nod. “That is because you have removed it from your mind. Look.” Harry turned to look where he was pointing, and saw a shimmering silvery strand hanging from the tip of his wand.
“That’s my memory?” Harry asked in awe.
“It is,” Dumbledore confirmed. “Now, return it to your mind by touching the tip of your wand to your temple and willing the memory to re-enter your mind.”
Somewhat uneasily, Harry brought the tip of his wand back to his temple and closed his eyes, mentally pulling the memory back into his mind. He gasped as what had been a blank spot in his recollections began to take a hazy form, almost like a dream. As he focused on it, the memory became clearer and clearer until, a moment later, he could feel the Firebolt beneath him and the wind in his hair. He opened his eyes.
“Did I do it?” he asked.
“See for yourself,” Dumbledore replied with a smile. Harry turned to look at his wand once again, and found that the memory had completely disappeared. He grinned.
“Okay, so what do I do now?” he asked eagerly.
“Now you must begin the long and grueling process of concealing your most secret memories by removing them one by one, casting the Occultus Charm on them, and then returning them to your mind. This will take quite some time, but it is well worth the effort, as it will allow you to continue thinking even when your mind is under attack.”
“What happens next, Professor?” Harry asked.
“When you have mastered this phase of your training, you will be able to function more or less normally when under attack by Legilimency, unless you are trying to hide thoughts that have not been concealed with the Occultus Charm,” Dumbledore answered. “If you are thinking about something that has been magically concealed however, your mind will split its attention between that thought or memory and your memory of the flagstone. Once you become used to splitting your attention in this way, you will be ready to begin the third phase of Occlumency training.”
“Out of curiosity, what’s the third phase?” asked Harry.
Dumbledore smiled indulgently. “The third phase is when you learn to completely block your mind from attack. You will start by using your ability to split your attention between two tasks to protect your mind even when you are not thinking about something that has been magically concealed. Once you have mastered that, you will condition yourself to ignore the attacks. At that point, your subconscious mind will be able to take over your Occlumency, and neither Lord Voldemort nor anyone else will be able to see your thoughts or implant their own into your mind.”
Harry sat quietly for a long moment before saying, “That sounds like it’s going to take a long time.”
“It probably will,” Dumbledore agreed. “But it will be well worth the effort. Now, if you please, I’d like you to remove your memory of the prophecy that was made about you before you were born, and place it in here.” He pulled a small glass vial out of a drawer in his desk and placed it in front of Harry.
“Er- Do I need to use my wand for this?” Harry asked hesitantly. “I think I might feel more comfortable just using my finger, you know?”
“Of course,” said Dumbledore. “As long as you are alone, that should be fine. If anyone else is around, however, please use your wand so as not to provoke uncomfortable questions.”
“Right,” Harry agreed. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and called up the memory of Professor Trelawney’s face rising up out of Dumbledore’s Pensieve to recite the prophecy that had led to his parents’ deaths. A wave of sorrow and anger passed over him as he sank deeper into the memory, the emotions of that night flowing through him anew. He breathed deeply, reining in his emotions, and began drawing his finger away from his temple. This memory took longer to extract than the first one had, but after a few moments it completely disappeared from his mind and he opened his eyes to see a short silvery rope clinging to his fingertip. He was surprised to note that it was many times thicker than his memory of Quidditch practice, and immediately asked Dumbledore why this was the case.
“The thickness of a memory depends on the emotion associated with it,” the Headmaster explained. “That particular memory is a very emotional one for you, and is therefore quite thick. Go ahead and drop it into the vial, Harry.” Harry obeyed, lowering the memory into the vial and giving his finger a gentle shake to drop it.
“What now?” he asked when Dumbledore didn’t immediately give any more instructions.
“Now you simply jab your wand at the memory while saying, ‘Occultus.’” Dumbledore chuckled softly as he added, “In your case, though, I suppose the wand isn’t necessary. You could simply jab your finger at it instead.”
“Right,” Harry said with a small smile. He looked down intently at the shining memory and thought of how badly he wanted to prevent Voldemort from seeing it. Then he pointed at it and made a small jabbing motion with his finger while saying, “Occultus.” The memory glowed blue for a fraction of a second.
“Well done,” said Dumbledore, looking immensely pleased. “Now return the memory to your mind and we can test your spellwork.”
Harry nodded and gently touched the end of the silvery strand with his index finger. The memory adhered lightly to his skin, and he brought it slowly back to his temple and pulled it into his mind. When he was finished, he looked expectantly at the Headmaster, who was watching him thoughtfully.
“I am going to use Legilimency on you again,” Dumbledore said at last. “This time, however, I want you to force yourself to think of the Prophecy, rather than the flagstone.”
“All right,” Harry nodded.
“Good. Legilimens.”
Harry’s mind was immediately filled with an image of a blank flagstone, and he suddenly found it extremely difficult to think of anything else. He knew he was supposed to be thinking about something other than the flagstone, but he couldn’t remember what it was. It had something to do with Dumbledore, didn’t it? Yes, it was the-
A hazy image formed in Harry’s mind as he tried to remember what Dumbledore had told him to think about. The more he focused, the clearer his mind became, until he was finally able to remember seeing Professor Trelawney’s face delivering the prophecy. It was hard to concentrate, however, because half of his attention was still occupied with the image of the flagstone. Then, quite suddenly, the flagstone was gone, and he was able to think about the prophecy with ease.
“Were you able to think of the prophecy while I was using Legilimency on you?” Dumbledore asked immediately.
“Yeah,” Harry answered. “It was hard to concentrate though, and when I finally was able to think about it I kept getting distracted by the flagstone.”
“It will become easier with practice,” Dumbledore replied, waving away his concern. “I was only able to see the flagstone, so it appears that your Occultus Charm is working perfectly. Now, it’s getting rather late and you should be heading back to your common room soon, but before you go I have an assignment for you.”
“Homework, you mean,” Harry commented with a wry smile. “Let me guess; you want me to spend some time every day deciding which memories I want to keep hidden and doing the Occultus Charm on them, right?”
“Exactly,” Dumbledore smiled. “That way, you will have more to work with when you start trying to get used to thinking about a protected memory and the flagstone at the same time.”
“All right,” said Harry. “Er, Professor? There’s one more thing I wanted to talk to you about before I go.”
“Go on,” Dumbledore prompted.
“It’s about Sna- I mean, Professor Snape. When I was leaving the staff room the other day, I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to stand for his rubbish anymore. I just thought you ought to know that.”
Dumbledore nodded gravely. “Might I inquire what you are planning?”
“It’s nothing too serious,” Harry quickly explained. “I just plan to do little things to get his attention if he starts to be too much to handle, you know? Like if he gets in my face and starts ranting about my father I might make a jar of frogspawn fall off of the shelf or something.”
“I see,” Dumbledore said slowly. “Harry, I need you to remember that no matter how you might feel about Professor Snape, he is still a Hogwarts teacher and must be treated with respect. Having said that, however, I know that the only way to stop you from carrying out your plan would be to publicize your ability to perform magic without a wand, as I am quite sure that that is how you plan to accomplish it. Since I am not willing to expose you in such a way unless it is absolutely necessary, I will only ask you this: please do not make it necessary. If breaking a jar every once in a while is enough to prevent another confrontation like those we have seen this week, then by all means do it. But use your good judgment, Harry, and if your plan escalates things instead of fixing them, come talk to me about it and I’ll see what I can do to help. The last thing I want is a repeat of what happened on Monday.”
“We’re agreed on that,” Harry said as he got to his feet. “Thank you for everything, Professor.” The look in Dumbledore’s eyes told him that they both knew he was referring to much more than his Occlumency lessons.
“Not a problem,” Dumbledore replied. “Oh, and Harry?” he called out just as Harry was opening the door.
“Yes sir?”
“Good luck in Saturday’s match.”