Chapter Thirteen: The Curtain Call
“James!” Lily pounded her fist on the Potter’s front door. “James, I’m sorry! I didn’t “ ”
The door suddenly flew open, startling Lily. She gasped, taken aback by the surprising response, and took a small step backwards. She was instantly alert. But then, realizing that it wasn’t James but Mrs. Potter standing in the doorway, Lily sighed.
“Hello, Mrs. Potter,” she said, lowering her voice to the appropriate volume.
“Hello, dear.” James’s mother smiled politely, stepping out onto the front porch. She pulled the door closed behind her, leaving just a small opening behind her. “How are you, Lily?”
Lily quickly brushed a lock of hair out of her face, ignoring the knots that were forming in her windblown hair. “I’m fine,” she hastily replied, forcing a smile onto her face as she tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. And then, forgetting to return the same question, Lily jumped straight to her reason for stopping by. “Is James here?”
Mrs. Potter blinked, surprised by the abrupt topic change. “Oh, uh “ no, dear, I don’t believe so.”
Lily’s felt her stomach drop and her smile disappear entirely. “Oh,” she muttered, dropping her gaze down to her feet. “A-alright,” she stammered. “Thanks, anyway.”
Mrs. Potter frowned just as Lily turned to walk away. “Have you checked the backyard?” she asked, grabbing Lily’s attention once more. “Is he down by the pond?”
Lily nodded, kicking at a small rock on the porch. It skidded across the surface and fell off the edge. “That was the first place I looked.”
“Ah “ I see.” Mrs. Potter crossed her arms over her chest and glanced back into the house, almost as if she was feeling uncomfortable and was hoping to find a way out of her conversation with Lily. “How about the theater? There might have been some sort of last minute emergency “ ”
“He’s not there either. Jimmy said he hasn’t stopped by since yesterday.”
Mrs. Potter looked surprised, now, to hear that Lily had already visited both of these locations that she had suggested. “Downtown?” she finally asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
Lily sadly shook her head. “I saw Sirius, but not James.” She paused, biting her lip. “They said they thought he might be here.”
Mrs. Potter watched helplessly as Lily ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the tangles.
“I’m sorry, Lily,” she said, shaking her head. “I wish I could help “ really, I do.”
Lily nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. “I know,” she whispered, afraid to speak any louder than that for fear of her voice cracking. She started to walk away. But just as she stepped off of the stairs, she quickly turned back around. “Wait “ Mrs. Potter.”
“Yes?” James’s mother stopped with her hand on the doorknob, turning back to face Lily.
“Could you “ just “ ” Lily struggled to say the right thing. Finally, she dropped her chin onto her chest, closing her eyes in defeat. Mrs. Potter waited for her to say something more, but was frozen in her place when Lily brought one hand to cover her face and her shoulders started to shake “ almost as if she was crying.
“Lily,” she gasped. Mrs. Potter moved from her spot beside the door and sped to Lily’s side, wrapping her in a motherly embrace. “Hush, dear, it’s alright.”
Lily sniffed, swiping at the tears that had slipped out from the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, blinking furiously to keep herself from letting anymore tears fall. “I’ve just been looking for him “ for James “ everywhere. I really thought he might be inside “ but I just got my hopes up again.”
James’s mother let out a slow breath. She opened her mouth to say something, but Lily cut her off.
“Mrs. Potter “ can you let James know “ could you tell him that I’m sorry?” Lily turned to face the dark-haired woman with a desperate look etched onto her face. “Tell him that I told my friends and “ I’m sorry.” Lily swallowed, quickly averting her gaze before her emotions went out of control again. “You have no idea how sorry…”
Mrs. Potter could do nothing more but pat Lily on the back. “Of course I’ll tell him,” she said. Her heart went out to this poor child, hurting to see her go through so much pain.
Lily nodded. “Thanks,” she said. She stepped away from Mrs. Potter and sucked in a deep breath, slowly exhaling and placing a false smile on her lips. “I guess I should go, now.”
James’s mother nodded, rubbing Lily’s arm once more before starting back up the steps to the front door. “And good luck tonight,” she added, hoping to lift Lily’s mood before she left. “Ben and I were planning on coming to the show “ we’re thrilled to see it after everything that James has told us about it,” she said, trying “ unsuccessfully “ to cheer Lily up with this compliment.
Lily smiled and nodded. “I hope it runs smoothly.”
“I’m sure you won’t have any troubles.” Mrs. Potter reached her front door, pushing it open. She paused, turning back to wave to Lily. “We’ll see you tonight!”
Lily turned and left without another word.
Mrs. Potter watched, waiting for Lily to walk out of sight. Once she was gone, she let out a deep sigh and immediately spun on her heel, walking purposefully back into the house and slamming the front door closed behind her. She turned towards the staircase leading up to the second floor, immediately folded her arms across her chest, and jutted her hip out as she glared at her teenage son sitting motionless at the bottom of the steps.
“That was a horrible thing to do,” she scolded him, narrowing her eyes. “All Lily wanted to do was apologize “ and you hid from her!”
James did not speak. He remained unmoving, staring at the blank wall opposite of him with the knuckles of his fingers pressed up against his lips.
Mrs. Potter shook her head in disgust and stomped away into the kitchen. She wasn’t finished yelling at him, however. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into covering for you!” she shouted, slamming one of her many books onto the kitchen counter. And then, finding it much too hard to argue with James from a distance, she sped back to the bottom of the staircase. “She went all over town looking for you, James “ do you really think she would have put that much effort into finding you if she wasn’t truly sorry for whatever it was that she did?”
James’ only response was to drop his hands away from his lips. He let his elbows rest on his knees, leaning forward on them.
When Mrs. Potter didn’t get a response, she let out a short, soft growl of frustration. “She told me to tell you that she was sorry.” Mrs. Potter frowned slightly as she remembered the other part of Lily’s message, somewhat confused. “And that she told her friends.”
James’ blank stare didn’t seem to change as his mother disappeared into another room.
*
“So?”
Lily shuffled back into her bedroom, keeping her eyes glued to the floor. “What?” she asked, silently wishing that her friends weren’t visiting when all she wanted was to be left alone.
“Did you find him?” Anna asked, leaping off of Lily’s bed. She hurried to the door where Lily was standing with her shoulders slumped. “Did you talk to James?”
Lily didn’t provide an answer. Instead, she walked silently past Anna and sat on the corner of her bed. Chelsie, who had been sprawled across the floor on her stomach, rolled onto her back so that she could easily look up at Lily.
“He didn’t turn down your apology,” Chelsie stated as if it were a fact. However, doubt started to fill her mind. She quickly sat up, leaning towards Lily. “Did he?”
Lily wearily shook her head. “He might as well have done that,” she muttered. “I went everywhere, but I never even found him so that I could give him an apology.”
Anna glanced over at Chelsie with hesitation, as if trying to get her statement approved before saying it aloud. “Well “ maybe that’s a good sign!” she exclaimed, brightening her tone. “You never found him “ he could still forgive you, right?”
Lily refused to believe the words. “Highly unlikely,” she grumbled, falling backwards onto her bed with her arms tossed carelessly above her head so that they landed at odd angles. “He’s avoiding me,” she whispered, staring vacantly up at the ceiling. “That’s even worse than just flat-out rejecting me.”
She didn’t have to see it to know that her two friends were most likely huddled together, sending frantic glances back and forth in an attempt to figure out what to say next. Lily decided to help them out.
“Doesn’t matter,” she finally said, hating to utter the words that she didn’t believe. “If he won’t talk to me, then I’ll just “ move on,” Lily finished, abruptly sitting up once more. “I can’t keep looking for him if he doesn’t want to be found.”
Lily stood and walked over to her closet, suddenly furious with James. Why couldn’t he just talk to her? That’s all she wanted “ was a chance to explain!
She shoved several clothing items to the side, knocking a few of them off of their hangers and onto the floor in a crumpled pile. Then, she pulled out exactly what she had been looking for “ James’s jacket “ and proceeded to throw it into her garbage can in the corner.
Lily’s chest rose and fell with gasping breaths from her surprising fit of anger. She stubbornly stared at the garbage can, unable to look her friends in the eye.
Feeling very tired and weak, Lily closed her eyes, trying to take in a deeper breath to slow her hurried breathing. “I’m sorry,” she apologized softly. “Could you just “ leave me alone for a little bit?” Lily asked, opening her eyes a fraction of an inch.
Her friends didn’t respond immediately. Instead, they walked silently to the bedroom door.
“Sure,” Chelsie finally responded, opening Lily’s door. “We’ll just “ we’ll see you tonight “ before your show.”
Lily nodded. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Anna replied softly, gently closing the door behind them as they walked away from Lily’s room.
Lily couldn’t move from her spot, horrified by the way she had acted in front of her friends.
They didn’t do anything wrong, Lily scolded herself. I shouldn’t have kicked them out because I have a problem. I need to just learn how to deal with it…
Despite the horrible feeling settling in the pit of Lily’s stomach, she couldn’t help but feel relieved that she was finally alone. She finally had a chance to break down and cry; she could release all of the pent up emotion that she had been bottling up all day.
But, as strange as it seemed, she didn’t feel like crying anymore. She had felt nothing but guilt and shame all day when she had been searching for James, but she couldn’t feel that at all anymore. It was almost as if she had run out of tears to shed. She was starting to grow numb. She realized the only thing that could possibly shake her thoughts from her empty state of being was James.
The moment Lily thought of his name, her eyes flicked up to her trash bin, eyeing the jacket’s sleeve that was hanging haphazardly over the side of the bucket.
James wasn’t to blame. She was. She had felt a surge of anger towards him just now “ and none of it was deserved. She should have directed her anger towards herself. She was the one who had made that stupid mistake “ it was her fault.
With a small sigh of resignation, Lily walked over to her garbage can and rescued the coat from the bin. She carefully hung it back up on its hanger, brushing off any dirt that had gotten on it, and placed it back into her closet.
*
“So,” Peter said, anxiously rubbing his hands together. “You ready?”
Lily smoothed out her costume, glancing up at the boy who was shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to the other. “Sure,” she stated calmly. She looked over to her right, peeking through an opening in the heavy curtain. She could spot her family in the audience, seated directly in the front row. Her two friends sat in the row directly behind them, closer to the aisle.
Immediately, Lily tore her gaze away, forcing herself to stare at the dimly lit stage instead. She refused to search for James. She knew that he wouldn’t come to see the show “ it would only make it worse if she confirmed this fact before the performance.
“How about you?” Lily asked, trying to distract herself. She focused every conscious thought on here and now “ she couldn’t think about him. “Are you ready?”
Peter shrugged. He took in a deep breath and let it out as slowly as he could, hoping to calm his fears. “I’m nervous,” he confessed, shaking his hands at his side. “But I think it’ll be alright “ don’t you think?”
Lily nodded, her gaze returning to the stage. “Yeah,” she agreed, watching as the curtain slowly started to rise, silencing the audience. “I think it’ll be alright.”
And then she walked onstage.
*
Much to Lily’s surprise, the show was nearly flawless. Everyone had remembered their lines, their fight choreography “ even Peter had managed to look halfway decent during the dance at the finale!
“That was amazing!” Mr. Evans hissed from backstage, congratulating each cast member as the audience continued to clap enthusiastically. “Fantastic “ I couldn’t have asked for a better performance!”
Lily, who had portrayed a wide variety of emotions onstage but had felt nothing but sorrow all night, allowed a small smile to grace her lips at this compliment. Peter was grinning, high-fiving every person he saw. Even Jess was squealing with excitement, hugging her friends.
The stage lights turned back on and Mr. Evans started to push some of the younger children back onto the stage. “Quick,” he whispered. “The curtain call!”
Every single person in the cast hurried onto the stage, bowing. Just when the applause had nearly died down, Lily and Peter jogged back out into the blinding spotlight and the crowd roared with excitement, whistling for the two lead actors.
Lily plastered a fake smile onto her face. She then grabbed Peter’s hand, held it above her head, and bowed.
The pair brought their heads back up. And then, finally allowing herself to put down her guard, Lily squinted into the bright lights for the one person who she most longed to see.
Nowhere. She couldn’t see him anywhere.
He never showed up.
Lily’s smile faltered as she felt this horrible realization envelope her entire being.
She could vaguely sense that Peter had lifted her hand into the air once more, preparing to lead the entire cast in their final bow. Just as she was about to lower her arm with the others onstage, she spotted movement in the back row.
A man dressed in a suit squeezed past the standing audience members. Once he reached the aisle, he immediately turned towards the doors and exited the building.
Lily froze, forgetting to bow with the others. She could not look away from that spot in the back of the room.
She would have recognized his black, messy hair anywhere.
Before the applause had stopped, Lily dropped Peter’s hand and darted off of the stage, lifting her dress up to her knees in the process. She ignored her father’s puzzled look as she stumbled past him in her high heels.
“Lily?” he called, confused. “Dear, is something wrong?” he asked.
His voice trailed away as she sprinted into the room backstage to grab her belongings. Her father followed, standing in the doorway with a look of concern. Lily, however, didn’t have time to stop and chat. She breezed past him once more, calling a brief, “Sorry!” over her shoulder.
By now, the rest of the cast was starting to shuffle off the stage as well, blocking Lily’s only exit.
“Excuse me “ sorry “ let me through!” she grumbled as nearly every single person seemed to run directly into her. “I need out!”
“Lily!”
Before Lily could avoid it, Peter jogged over, hugging her. “We did it!” he exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “Congratulations!”
“Yeah, you too,” Lily hastily returned the compliment. She wiggled out of Peter’s arms, but now found herself wrapped in an entirely different embrace.
“Oh, dear, that was wonderful,” the woman cooed. Lily blinked, struggling to place the voice. Soon, however, she spotted the tall man with two children hanging off of his arms.
“Mrs. Belmann!” Lily realized. She pulled away, immediately recognizing the kind, plump woman at once from the campsite. “It’s so good to see you again!”
Mrs. Belmann was about to respond, but her oldest daughter interrupted, releasing her father’s arm.
“That was so cool!” she shouted, jumping up and down excitedly. “And you look really pretty in that dress,” she said, stepping forward to touch the material without asking. “Can I wear it?”
Lily opened her mouth, but an even younger voice piped up.
“Jay?” she cried as she seemed to have finally remembered where she had seen Lily before “ as well as who had been with Lily at the time. “Where Jay?”
“Oh.” Lily swallowed, feeling her brief moment of excitement disappear at this unintentional reminder. “You see, James is “ ”
“Good job “ it’s Lily, right?” a rough voice cut her off. Lily glanced up to find Bernie, the museum owner, walking towards her with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “That wasn’t half bad “ it seemed relatively accurate, too.”
Lily smiled politely, interpreting his comment as a compliment. She shifted her belongings into her left hand as she reached out to shake Bernie’s extended hand. “Yeah, well “ most of the props were James’s idea.”
“Speaking of,” Bernie quickly interrupted before she could elaborate. “Have you seen him around?”
“Actually,” Lily said, looking from Bernie to the Belmann’s. “I was just going to look for him “ but thanks for coming to see the show!”
Mrs. Belmann waved, smiling as Lily hurried towards the exit at the back of the hall. Just as soon as she thought she was home free, her two friends appeared in front of her.
It’s alright, Lily told herself. I can get rid of them “ they’ll understand.
“Lily “ that was incredible!” Anna shrieked, clasping her hands together in front of her chest. “All of the fighting and the dancing “ oh, it was so romantic,” she said with a heavy sigh. “And your co-star!” she shouted, seeming to just remember this detail. “The one who played the thief “ you have to introduce me to him!”
“I’m sorry.” Lily shook her head. “You’ll have to do it yourself “ I have to go find “ ”
“Look who it is “ it’s the star of the show!”
Lily let out a short huff of air, suddenly finding herself wishing there hadn’t been such a positive turnout for the show. She turned around, spotting Sirius. Remus and Peter tagged along behind him, smiling. And then, beside the group of tall boys, she found Jimmy, grinning from ear to ear.
“You did excellent, m’lady,” Sirius said in a failed attempt to sound as if he were from the Middle Ages.
“Yeah, nice job,” Remus added. Peter murmured in agreement.
“Thanks, guys, but I “ ”
“And you know Jimmy, right?” Sirius asked, pointing to the small boy beside him. He wrapped an arm around his head and proceeded to rub his fist into Jimmy’s hair, making it stand up on end. Jimmy laughed, clearly excited to have made more friends from the magical community. “James said he’s going to Hogwarts next year!”
Lily nodded, glancing frantically at the exit. “Yeah “ look, I really need to go, alright?”
The boys were about to nod their heads in agreement when Lily heard a voice that made her insides seize up.
“Lily Evans!” The deep voice seemed to boom over the entire room. “How nice to see you again “ and a spectacular performance as well! Simply delightful.”
Lily turned, ignoring her friends’ dropped jaws as they spotted the owner of the voice.
Because it was the Minister of Magic.
“Hello, sir,” Lily said in her hurried tone. “Sorry, but I really have to go. I wish I could stay and talk “ but I can’t.” She smiled apologetically at the man’s surprised expression. Surely, she was one of the first people to ever decline the chance to speak with the Minister of Magic. But “ she told herself “ there were more important things that she had to do right now.
She turned and started to walk away. “Sorry,” she apologized one last time.
The Minister of Magic opened his mouth as he tried to find something to say, but Lily was already several steps away. However, she noticed that it had taken no time at all for Sirius to immediately fill her empty spot and begin to introduce himself to this powerful man.
Lily sighed, relieved that she had slipped out of yet another conversation.
I couldn’t possibly know anyone else, she told herself. There’s no way that anyone could “
Cursing herself for thinking this thought just a bit too soon, Lily stopped in her footsteps as a girl blocked her path with her arms folded.
“Evans.”
Lily felt anger surge into her system where it had not been present before. “Marzoli,” she replied just as snidely.
Jess smirked, tossing her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “I see you’ve had quite a large crowd congratulate you,” she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
Lily nodded, narrowing her eyes at the girl that she despised. “Yes,” she growled, trying to keep her answers short and her temper under control. Don’t let her get to me, she repeated in her head. Don’t get worked up. She’s just trying to get on your nerves.
Jess took a small step forward. She moved one hand to her hip, jutting it out to the side. “Unfortunately,” she added with a mock sympathetic expression, “not James.”
The fire inside of Lily doubled at this comment. She forgot everything that she had just been telling herself about remaining calm and ignoring Jess. “What does James have to do with it?” she asked, biting her tongue so as not to say anything more than that.
Jess looked as if Christmas had come early; she had finally managed to evoke the response from Lily that she had clearly wanted to get.
“Oh, please.” Jess sighed, rolling her eyes. “Do you really think everyone’s oblivious to the sort of looks you’re always giving him?” She smirked, moving close enough for Lily to touch her. “You’ve got a crush on James Potter,” she said, unable to hold back a high-pitched giggle.
No I don’t, Lily wanted to say. Deny it “ say anything to get her away from you.
Lily opened her mouth, prepared to lie about her feelings for James “ but quickly decided against it.
Ignore her, she reminded herself, silently closing her eyes and walking past the dark-haired girl.
“Running away, are we, Evans?” Jess asked, happily skipping along behind Lily’s retreating figure.
Lily tried her best to block out the high voice as she left Bennett Theater and entered the cool night’s breeze. Let her say all she wants, Lily thought, trying to persuade herself to remain calm. She only wants to see me get upset.
“Figures,” Jess said with a mock sigh. She stopped just outside the doors, standing underneath a street lamp. “I should have known that you wouldn’t want to hang around here much longer. You must be embarrassed after your performance tonight “ I really don’t know why so many people congratulated you…”
Lily stopped dead in her tracks, struck by these words.
No, she silently corrected Jess. I had a great performance “ one of my best. You can’t tell me I was inadequate when I know that I put on a great show tonight!
Lily turned around on the sidewalk, walking back to Jess to voice her opinion, but she stopped just before the girl as a new thought struck her.
Who cares? she suddenly realized. Her entire thought process seemed to change instantaneously. Jess doesn’t matter “ her opinion doesn’t matter! It’s my life “ not hers! Lily could feel her blood boiling just thinking about Jess’s interference. So what if I’m in love with James “ so what if she thinks I’m a horrible actress “ it doesn’t have anything to do with Jess!
Lily smiled at her own thoughts, agreeing with them. It gave her a new wave of strength. And then, just as she was about to say these things, an entirely new side of her took over.
Without fully realizing just what her hand was about to do when it clenched into a fist, Lily watched with amusement as her right hand collided with the girl’s jaw, forcing Jess to collapse onto the floor, holding her face in her hands.
“You “ you “ hit me!” Jess shrieked, glaring up at Lily from her spot on the empty sidewalk outside of the theater. She quickly scrambled to her feet while simultaneously trying to avoid stepping on her floor-length costume. She stumbled around, finally managing to stand up straight and tall. “I can’t believe “ you just punched me!”
Lily’s breathing was coming out in hurried, shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling with each breath. “Yeah,” she whispered, holding her hand in front of her face. “I did.” She slowly opened and closed her fist, ignoring the slight pain that shot through her fingers. And then, a small smile spread across her face. “And it felt great.”
Jess’s eyes widened beneath the fluorescent light that shone down on the two girls. “You are going to be in so much trouble when I tell your dad!”
Terror took over as she imagined what sort of trouble she could get into. Her stomach twisted into multiple knots and her mouth went dry. She’d be grounded until school started up again! Her parents would “
Lily halted her rushed thinking as she felt a smirk spread across her lips.
“No, I won’t,” she said, unable to hide her grin. “Because no one will believe you.”
Jess, for once, didn’t say anything in response. Lily quickly continued.
“No one witnessed a thing,” she pointed out, gesturing around to the empty street. “And I doubt that anyone would believe that I would ever do such a violent thing!”
Jess’s jaw dropped open as she, too, seemed to process this knowledge.
Lily had finally won.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Lily said, turning on her heels. “I have something I need to do.” She looked over her shoulder, sending one last glare to the dumbfounded girl. “And it doesn’t concern you.”
If it weren’t for her present situation with James, Lily knew that she would have laughed at Jess’s stunned silence. The thought of James, however, sent shivers down her spine and caused her stomach to drop.
I need to find him, she told herself, worried that he might have disappeared from her yet again. She took off at a run, keeping her belongings tucked carefully under her arms. When she was a safe distance away and gasping for breath, she slowed to a stop.
“This is stupid,” she growled at herself, digging around in her green bag. “Are you a witch or not, Evans?”
She pulled out her wand and closed her eyes, concentrating on her objective, and then waved it around in a familiar motion. When she opened her eyes, she quickly spun around in a circle to take in her new location.
Lily ran forward, stumbling over fallen twigs and tree roots that had grown above the grown. Several times, she fell to her knees and got dirt all over her beautiful, white costume, but she could care less about the state of her costume; she had to find James.
And then she saw it “ the pond in James’s backyard “
But James was nowhere in sight.
Lily’s frantic gasps for breath had stopped. She wasn’t breathing at all anymore.
With a small sob, she dropped to her knees, staring blindly ahead of her, refusing to believe that she had lost James yet again.
No. She couldn’t have lost track of him again. He should have come here, she thought, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong in her assumptions. He’s always in his backyard “ he was supposed to “
“Lily?”
Lily spun around on her knees so quickly that she got tangled up in the material of her dress and landed on her backside in the dirt.
“James,” she breathed, unable to believe her eyes. He was here “ he had come after all! She found him!
James shuffled towards her with his hands stuffed into his pants pockets. His white, button-up shirt was pulled out from his pants and his suit jacket was left unbuttoned, flapping in the gentle breeze. “What are you doing here, Lily?”
His voice was soft, but inquisitive. His facial expression was unnaturally solemn as he strode up to her and held out a hand to help her to her feet.
Lily stared at the gesture, trying to process what was happening. She had been searching for him for hours, but now that she found him “ she was speechless.
“I came to see you,” she whispered, gratefully taking James’s hand within her own. She felt herself being pulled to her feet, but the instant she was upright, James jerked his hand away.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, sounding almost bored of their conversation. He shrugged out of his suit coat and tossed it over a tree branch. “Why?”
Lily licked her lips and wrung her hands together, watching with fascination as James easily stepped out of his shoes and socks without giving her a second look. “I needed to talk to you.”
He finally looked up at her. “Well, here I am,” he muttered. His face remained impassive, making it hard for her to read. He started to wade out into the water, allowing the bottom of his pants to get wet. “Say what you came to say.”
Lily was shocked. She hadn’t imagined he would have ever been so blunt and straight to the point. But she didn’t let this throw her off. She quickly shook her mane of long, crimson hair, stepped up to the edge of the pond, and spoke.
“I told Anna and Chelsie,” she confessed, watching as James scooped up a pile of rocks and started to skip them across the smooth, flat surface, just like he had been doing the first time she found him here at the beginning of the summer. She had been apologizing then, as well. “Last night “ I told them everything “ about us.” She swallowed, praying that this would work. “About the museum and the camping trip “ and the Ministry Ball,” she added, trying to remember what all she had said to her friends. “And what happened that night “ when you “ you “ ”
Lily broke off, unable to complete her sentence. When you kissed me, she finished in her head. James, however, interrupted her before she was forced to say the words.
“I know,” he whispered, straightening his posture. “I already heard.”
Lily froze, trying to process his words. “You “ heard?”
He nodded, keeping his back towards her. He strengthened his hold on the small rocks clenched in his hand. “When you were talking to my Mum,” he admitted in a soft voice. “I heard the whole thing.”
This was worse, she decided. Worse than an unsuccessful search for James before the play “ worse than losing him after the curtain call “ this was much worse.
“You heard me “ at your house,” she stated, staring at her feet. She tried to ignore the pain she was feeling “ nothing could have prepared her for this sort of anguish. “You “ avoided me?”
With the slightest of movements, James nodded. It wasn’t much, but Lily spotted it.
Her eyes filled with tears. She felt betrayed “ felt hurt. James “ he had purposefully hidden from her when she had spent all day searching for him. Sure, she had suspected that this might have been the case all along “ that he really was trying to stay away from her “ but it had been so much easier to tell herself that she was overreacting and jumping to conclusions. But now, she knew the truth “ she hadn’t been overreacting at all.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, staring at the water that lapped up over the bank and touched the toe of one of her shoes. “For everything I did to make you avoid me.”
Lily stopped speaking at the sound of a small plunk. She looked up and realized that James’ hand had released the small stones into the water and had spun around to face her with a disbelieving stare.
“You’re “ you’re sorry?” he asked, squinting at her. “Damn it, Lily, I’m the one that should be apologizing for hiding like some coward when all you wanted to do was say that you were sorry!” He clenched his fists at his side, looking infuriated with himself, but he didn’t move.
Lily immediately shook her head. “No,” she responded, “it’s my fault “ if I hadn’t done all of those “ stupid things “ you wouldn’t have “ you’d never “ ”
She broke off, struggling to find the words to say. She opened and closed her mouth at least three times before she impulsively started to move forward through the cold water.
“What are you doing?” James asked, shocked to see Lily dragging her dress through the water. “You’re ruining your costume, Lily.”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes locked on James’ as she moved forward. “I don’t care, James. I just “ don’t “ care. The dress can “ ” But what she was about to say was lost as one of her shoes slipped between two stones in the water and she stumbled, falling to her knees. She started to shiver, watching as her other shoe went floating away from her, but she didn’t give it a second thought.
As Lily tried to hoist herself back onto her feet in the shallow water, she felt two, strong hands grab her wrists and gently pull her upwards. But, unlike before when James had helped her up, he didn’t let go of her this time.
“I’m sorry, James,” she whispered without waiting to regain her balance. She clung to the front of James’s, now, wet shirt, refusing to let go, no matter how much she wanted to warm herself up at that moment. “I’m sorry that I was always mean to you in the past. I’m sorry about all of those horrible pranks I played on you at school. I’m sorry I never told my friends about us. I’m sorry I ran out on you after you “ kissed me. I’m sorry that I hurt you.” She swallowed, locking her eyes on his. “And I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am that I lied about what I felt for you.”
James didn’t say a word. Slowly, he released Lily’s arms and dropped his hands to his side. Reluctantly, Lily let go of his shirt, but she kept her hands clenched together in front of her. A slight breeze hit her arms and she started to shake uncontrollably without James standing there to block the wind. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to stand the cold for much longer, but she was also determined to stay until she was forgiven.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again, watching as James turned to the side. She clenched her teeth together, trying to stop the annoying chattering.
James looked down at the water, studying the ripples of water that their movement made. He didn’t say anything.
“I was so “ stupid,” Lily hissed at herself. If James hadn’t been there, she probably would have smacked herself in the forehead as well. “I made the biggest mistake of my life,” she told him. “I didn’t realize what I had right in front of me.”
She stopped speaking at the sign of the slightest movement. James was turning around, facing Lily once more. His height seemed much more intimidating than it ever had before, now that he was standing inches away from her. He stared down at her, watching her with curious eyes.
He blinked once. Twice. And then he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
Should I leave? Lily wondered. He’s not saying anything “ is that my sign to go?
Her heart sped up as she contemplated this horrid idea. But she didn’t want to leave “ she wanted to stay here. With James.
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. I don’t want to go, she thought, arguing with herself. I can’t “ I need to stay here. Don’t make me leave.
A single tear fell down her cheek, dropping into the water with an inaudible splash. She quickly averted her gaze, embarrassed to be caught crying in front of James. She ducked her head down, staring at her feet “
But James gently touched a finger to her chin and lifted her gaze.
She found herself staring openly, unashamedly, into James’ eyes, wishing to do nothing more than stay like this for the rest of her life, even though she was unbearably cold from the water that was lowering her body temperature.
Her temperature, however, quickly became irrelevant. Because, at that moment, James took one final step forward, pressing himself up against her chest, and leaned down to kiss her.
This kiss, like her first with James, had been a surprise. She had no idea that he had been about to kiss her “ but this time, she didn’t object whatsoever.
Lily gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling James as close to her as was physically possible. As she did so, she was sure she could have felt a small smile spread across James’ lips.
He dropped one hand to her waist, wrapping it around to the middle of her back, but kept the other cupped around her cheek. And then, sending a chill of delight down Lily’s spine, he slipped the hand on her face to the back of her neck and pulled her close as well.
Slowly, reluctantly, James pulled away, allowing them time to breathe. He didn’t, however, remove his hands. He stood with his eyes closed and his forehead pressed against hers as, together, they gasped for breath.
Lily felt warm air hit her lips. She opened her eyes to see James smiling down at her.
“You’re not going to run away this time, are you?” he asked in a teasing tone.
Lily couldn’t have felt any more relieved to see the grin on his face and the sparkle returning to his eyes.
“No,” she replied, placing a soft kiss onto his lips to reassure him of her answer. She lifted her arms to circle his neck, smiling back at him. “I’m not planning on running away anytime soon.”
James’s eyes darted around her face, trying to take in every detail. Then he nodded. “Good,” he whispered, slowly dropping his smile. He leaned forward just enough so that his nose touched hers. “But if you do, warn me,” he told her. And then she could feel his lips against hers as he spoke.
“Because I’ll make sure to stop you.”