The Curtain Call
Chapter Three: Claustrophobia
“No, Lily,” James corrected her, “you have to duck and then swing.”
Lily clenched her fist around the plastic sword in her hand and took a deep breath, trying very hard not to scream back at James; it wasn’t easy taking orders from him.
“Sorry,” she muttered dryly with no signs of remorse whatsoever. She sluggishly returned to her starting position at the top of the stage, furthest from James. Once in her spot, Lily turned and glanced down to find James leaning casually up against the stage with a smug smile on his face. To the right of him, she saw her father, watching James in admiration; he was turning into Mr. Evans’ own little apprentice.
Lily crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, very tempted at that moment to throw her fake sword at the pair of them.
“Alright, come on,” James hurried the younger boys playing soldiers to run off stage. “Let’s do that scene again.” He clapped his hands loudly.
Everyone but Lily and Peter cleared the stage.
James nodded to the pair of them, taking a step back. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Lily composed herself and stepped back into character.
She pulled open a door built to look like a prison. The door swung open and Peter crawled out, throwing his arms around Lily.
“Adelaide,” he called Lily by her character’s name, “you shouldn’t have tried to free me “ think of what your parents will think! A princess “ saving a thief!”
Lily shook her head, quickly glancing down at her script. “That doesn’t matter to me “ I love you!”
Peter seemed to appear happy. Before he could say anything else, shouts from offstage rang through the theater and several thirteen-year-old boys dressed as castle guards ran onstage, brandishing their weapons.
Peter looked around the stage and found two swords hidden behind a set piece and picked them up. He handed one sword to Lily and kept the other for his own protection.
The fight began. Lily ducked and then swung and proceeded to fight the guards off until she and Peter were standing back to back, surrounded by knights.
One of the younger boys playing a guard shouted. “Princess, move away from the thief!”
Lily was about to open her mouth to respond to the dialogue, but James cut her off with a wave of his hand.
“Good,” he nodded. “But it needs “ well, it…” James trailed off, mumbling to himself. He held his fist to his mouth and began pacing back and forth on the carpeted floor directly in front of the stage.
Lily moved from her spot to watch James more closely. She relaxed her battle stance and lazily swung the fake sword onto her shoulder, appearing very bored. It had been one month since they started, and James was already drilling a stupid sword fight routine into everyone’s heads! They had just gotten comfortable moving around onstage during dialogue “ now James had to go and add an action sequence!
James did not appear to see Lily’s annoyed glare drilling holes into the back of his head. He merely held his hands out in front of him as if he were holding a sword. He stepped to the right and swung horizontally. He moved to the left and swung, again, horizontally. Slightly irritated, Lily recognized his movements as her character’s choreography.
With the look of intense concentration on his face, James brought his hands above his head as if he were about to swing down hard on his opponent’s sword, but instantly stopped in the middle of the swing with a loud clap of his hands.
“I got it,” he proudly boasted, stepped forward toward the bottom of the stage.
“And?” Lily interjected, putting an impatient hand on her hip. “What is it?”
“You need to act like there’s more weight on your sword,” James stated, looking directly in Lily’s direction. “I couldn’t put my finger on just what looked so strange, but I’ve got it now. More weight.”
“More weight,” Lily repeated dryly with a raised eyebrow, making his idea sound ridiculous.
“Yeah,” James nodded, either missing Lily’s lack of interest or choosing to ignore it. “You’re playing a princess, Lily “ most women in those times could barely lift a sword as easily as you were just now.”
“So, basically, you want me to act weak?” she asked with a sting in her voice. She didn’t care if her father overheard her; James was stereotyping women!
All of the actors standing on the stage were silent for a moment, waiting for James’ response, unsure of how James would react to this accusation. Slowly, James looked down at his feet, clearly trying to control his temper. It would be very easy for him to shout back at Lily when she was nothing but rude to him during rehearsals, but James always managed to hold back.
Finally, in an extremely calm whisper, James looked back up and asked, “Lily, do you realize how heavy an actual medieval sword is?” He paused, waiting to see if she would answer. When Lily did nothing but glare back fiercely, James tilted his head a fraction of an inch to the side and continued. “Do you even realize,” he started to raise his voice so the entire room could hear, “how much work it took for an actual knight to use a sword?” He stepped closer to the stage and locked his gaze on Lily. “Have you seen a picture of a typical knight during the middle ages?”
Lily did not answer. She tried to quickly think of a clever comeback, but all she could focus on was how upset she was that James was trying to correct her in front of the entire cast.
Unable to hold her glare steady much longer under the pressure of James’ gaze, Lily made a show of rolling her eyes so that she could safely look in the opposite direction without appearing to have backed down from the look he was giving her.
With a shadow of a smirk tugging at his lips, James planted the palms of his hands on the stage and gracefully jumped up, landing on his feet. He stepped forward with both hands on his waist. He glanced quickly at everyone, turning his question on the entire group instead of pinpointing it on Lily. “Has anyone seen a picture of a knight in the middle ages?”
No one said a word. Everyone silently stared down at their feet.
“These guys,” James spoke in an easy tone, pointing to the actors playing the knights onstage, “were enormous. I’m talking “ easily six feet tall.” Lily glanced up just in time to see James holding up one arm and flexing his bicep. She let out another eye roll at the show he was putting on for the group. Sure, his position as the Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team had certainly helped him build some very nice muscles, but he didn’t have to show off every chance he had…
James gestured at his arm, pointedly ignoring Lily’s eye roll. “Imagine every one of these knights like they were on steroids.”
The room laughed at James’ comment. Lily, along with several others, sent questioning looks at Mr. Evans to see whether or not he thought that James had crossed the line with his comment. As Mr. Evans laughed with the rest of the group, Lily realized, much to her dismay, that her father approved of James’ method of teaching.
James stepped up to Lily before she had a chance to register that he had; she had been too busy watching her father’s reaction.
“They could have snapped these plastic things in two,” James explained as he took Lily’s fake sword without asking, “with one hand.”
The group of young boys seemed to be very interested, now. Feet started shuffling past Lily to get a closer look at James’ demonstration.
“Now, if this had been a real sword,” James spoke with a hint of excitement in his voice, holding the prop in front of him, “you would really need to put some effort behind the swing.” James pulled the sword back and swung. The group stood still, in awe of James’ ability to make the sword look thirty pounds heavier than it was.
The boys playing the knights in the play started picking up their own swords and acting like the plastic toys weighed more than they actually did. They exaggerated their movements, hitting each other with their swords and grimacing at the impact.
“Good,” James grinned, hopping off of the stage to admire his handiwork. He stepped back to stand beside Mr. Evans and crossed his arms, smiling. “Yes “ everyone watch Brent and Johnny, over here, they’re doing a great job.”
The thirteen-year-olds blushed in surprise as they realized that James knew their names and quickly resumed their battle, now that they knew that James was watching them. They swung and hit their swords together in midair.
James nodded, very proud of the work that he had accomplished. He turned to Mr. Evans and spoke in a softer voice as the group continued to attack one another. “Anything else you need them to do before you let them out of rehearsal?”
Mr. Evans smiled and shook his head as he thumped James hard on the back. James felt his glasses nearly slide off the end of his nose. “I think I’m finished with them, James.”
James pushed his glasses back up over the bridge of his nose and took in a deep breath before shouting, “We’re done for today, everyone can go home!” He turned to pick up his own script, but stopped midway to shout out a reminder to the group. “And don’t forget what I told you today “ we’ll review the fight scene first thing on Monday!”
Lily did not stick around to listen to James. In fact, she was the first to leave the stage, disgusted. She threw her sword down, hearing it make a very loud and very satisfying smack as it fell to the floor. She didn’t worry about picking it up; if no one else picked it up, James would. He would do anything for those stupid props of his.
Lily stormed through the back of the theater, slamming the door against the wall behind it as she barged through. She was sure that she had even run into several younger cast members during her rampage, but she was too upset to even care.
She entered a small room backstage where many people’s belongings were kept during the practice. Both large and small bags were tossed carelessly across worn down tables or broken chairs. Occasionally, Lily would find a small purse hanging off of an old set prop or a jacket that had fallen onto the floor, but she walked straight past it towards a different location.
Taking several steps across the room, Lily approached a large table in the corner and ducked down beneath it. Just behind it, she had stored her own small, green bag that she carried with her everywhere with her. Despite the fading color and the frayed edges on the corners of the fabric, threatening to unravel, Lily toted the bag wherever she traveled.
She dropped her extra pencil into the bottom of the bag and tucked away her script. During the break today, Lily had even brought her own book. She quickly hid that in her bag, too, before James could find it and make fun of her for reading a Muggle romance novel.
Lily made sure everything was tucked safely inside her bag. She lifted the strap over her head and was about to stand when she heard a familiar voice say her name.
“Did you see Evans today?”
Lily froze behind the table. For a split second, she had assumed that the speaker had to be James because the voice had called Lily by her last name, but she soon deciphered the voice not to be that of a male, but a female.
It’s Jess, Lily finally realized in horror. Her stomach flipped nervously while her throat constricted, making it hard for Lily to breathe normally. What did I do to her now? Lily panicked, playing nervously with the frayed corners of her green bag. She swallowed and took in a gasping breath. I didn’t even see her today! How could I have done anything to her when I never saw her?
“What happened?” a second voice asked, sounding very interested.
“Just now,” Jess replied. Their footsteps moved across the room to pick up their own items. Other footsteps entered the room behind theirs, making it harder for Lily to hear. “That last scene.”
Another conversation started up on the opposite end of the room that did not belong to Jess’ voice. Lily leaned closer toward the girls, straining her ears as much as she could to listen for Jess.
“They’ve been working on that sword scene for days,” Jess drawled, not bothering to lower her voice whatsoever. If anything, Lily could have sworn Jess was speaking louder than before so that everyone “ including the others in a separate conversation on the other side of the room “ could hear her clearly. “Everyone but Lily has that scene down!”
It’s not my fault I can’t stand working with Potter! Lily silently tried to redeem herself. I’d have done better if he wasn’t the one directing it!
“I just knew Mr. Evans made a bad choice putting her in the lead role.” Lily imagined Jess trying to appear upset, but her voice had a gleeful lilt to it, revealing her true feelings.
Lily heard a bag snap close as Jess’ voice got softer. She was walking away. “Anyone could have done better in her role…”
Jess left the room.
Lily did not budge from her spot, hidden from sight, as she let Jess’ words sink in. Several other members of the play came and went, grabbing their belongings, but none of them spotted Lily beneath the table in the corner.
Anyone could have done better in her role.
The words echoed in Lily’s mind. They weren’t true, and she knew it! Lily had earned her role “ she had been an extra for just as many years as everyone else in the cast!
But if she knew Jess was lying “ why did she feel like it was the truth?
Lily sternly shook her head and looked down into her lap, causing her hair to fall out from behind her ears and cover her face. You’re being stupid, Lily reprimanded herself, holding a hand to her eyes. She didn’t let any tears fall. Don’t listen to Jess. She’s just jealous.
Lily sat in the corner of the room for several more minutes before lifting her head. And to her astonishment, she realized that the entire room had been cleared of all possessions. She was the last to leave.
Lily stood, attempting to shake off her bad thoughts. She was about to exit through the door to join her father, but paused. She felt the weight of the script in her bag. Slowly, Lily pulled it out and stared at the plain cover, biting her lip as she did so.
He’s right, she told herself, unable to believe that she was actually thinking it. Potter was right.
It’s not easy being the director’s daughter.
Lily flipped through the book, carefully analyzing each scene. Did she really know it as well as she thought that she did?
I could do better… Lily mused, flipping pages. She snapped the book shut and closed her eyes, imagining the start of the play. Silently, she recited her words from the very beginning, scrunching up her nose in concentration. But by the time she had reached the second page in the script, Lily had already forgotten a line.
I can’t be average, Lily pressured herself as she thumbed through the first pages of her script, trying to find the words that she had missed. I need to be ahead of the game “ I can’t let them believe that I got in without any effort.
Lily hastily shut her script and stuffed it back into her green bag. She spun on her feet and left the room, running to find her father.
“There, you are,” Mr. Evans beamed at Lily once she had walked back onto the stage. She descended the steps off to the side of the stage in order to stand next to her father. “I was wondering whether you had left without me!”
Lily smiled weakly, wringing her hands together. “Actually “ I thought I might just stay here and work on a few things “ that is, if you don’t mind.” She held a hand behind her back and tugged nervously at her long red hair pulled back into a pony tail. “I can walk home later.”
Mr. Evans grinned, looking very proud. “Practicing already, are we?” He chuckled and kissed his daughter’s cheek. “You have fun “ but don’t overwork yourself all in one night, alright, honey?” Mr. Evans patted Lily on the back and started to walk towards the exit. He shouted over his shoulder, “Your mother and I will have dinner ready for you when you get home.”
Lily nodded and waved to her father as he left the theater.
But as the door closed, she dropped her hand and sighed.
Lily pulled out her script, dropped her bag at the base of the steps, and climbed onto the stage. It seemed oddly vacant when none of the other cast members were present.
“Alright,” she swallowed, flipping through her script. She found a spot at the end of the first act; it was the part of the show where she, not only, started to fall in love with the thief, but also where she had the most difficulties with her lines.
Lily glanced quickly over the page and then snapped it shut. She closed her eyes and started to speak to an invisible actor.
“Why did you kidnap me?” she spoke to the empty theater. “Was it all for the ransom money?” She put on an accusing face as if she were yelling at another person that was not present onstage. “Didn’t I have some sort of attraction to you “ or am I just a bargaining chip?”
“I’m beginning to regret it, now.”
Lily could have sworn she had just jumped several feet in the air. In a split second, her eyes had opened, darting around the room. She had most definitely heard a voice other than her own. I thought everyone already left! Lily remembered the empty room behind the stage; she thought all of the belongings had been taken home! Who would be here so “
Lily caught a glimpse of a dirty rag, hanging from someone’s hands. The person threw the rag casually over their shoulder and stepped into the bright light; she could, now, clearly see the intruder.
James Potter walked to the center of the stage. His pants and shirt were covered in a layer of sawdust. He must have stayed late to work on the set, and Lily hadn’t heard him.
She was shocked. She knew that she should be upset that James had barged in on her like that, but, for some reason, she wasn’t. Lily blamed it on the fact that he had taken her by surprise, and she didn’t have enough time to react.
Before James gave her anymore time to organize her thoughts, he nodded to her, as if telling her to continue her lines.
And, with just the slightest bit of hesitancy, she did.
“What do you regret?” she asked him, frowning slightly. Her throat seemed to go dry and she had a hard time swallowing. I can’t believe I’m running lines with James Potter, of all people. He’s not even in the play!
James took in a heavy breath and released it slowly as if he were actually struggling with his words. Suddenly, he lashed out at her with fierce, hazel eyes. “What do you think I regret?” James stepped towards her. He took the script from her fingers and threw it down onto the stage. It slid several feet, stopping just before the edge.
Lily made a motion to retrieve her script, but James stepped coolly in front of her and slowly picked up her hands.
She swallowed.
“Listen “ I “ I didn’t kidnap you because you were a princess. In fact “ I had no idea who you were.” James let his head drop onto his chest in a defeated manner. “I picked you because I thought “ I thought you were beautiful.”
Lily was impressed. He really knew his words! She dropped his hands and moved to the opposite side of the stage, playing out her character’s role. “Why would a low-level thief, such as yourself, even care whether or not he kidnapped someone “ er…” Lily felt her face go up in flames. I can’t forget my lines “ not in front of him!
James raised his head, glancing at Lily out of the corner of his eye. He watched as she stopped speaking, trying to find the correct words. Finally, in a soft breath, he whispered her line. “‘As long as they got money out of it.’”
“I was getting there!” Lily shouted back at James, frustrated with herself for forgetting her lines. She crossed her arms over her chest for a moment, waiting for James to respond. Instead, when he said nothing, Lily made up her mind and moved swiftly to the front of the stage, snatching her script off the floor and walking briskly towards the exit.
“Hey,” James called softly to her. He reached out for her hand, but missed and caught her wrist instead. “I can help, Lily.”
Lily wrenched her arm free from his grip, narrowing her eyes at him. “Help with what, Potter? Do you want to insult me some more?”
James shook his head, desperately wishing he could avoid an argument. “Lily, I was never trying to insult you “ and I’m not now.”
Lily blocked out his explanation with a silent shake of her head. She was too focused on trying to get away from him that she hadn’t heard anything he had said.
Once she was off of the stage, Lily took off in the opposite direction with the fastest walk that she could muster. She didn’t slow her momentum, even when she stooped to the ground to scoop up her ratty, green bag.
But James was faster.
He leapt off of the stage, landing solidly on both feet, and started running towards Lily. Once he saw her start to turn towards a second exit, James expertly slipped in front of her and cut her off, blocking her path with a determined look. She struggled to push past him, but James put both hands on her shoulders and held her firmly in place, unwilling to let her walk away from him.
“Stop, Lily!” James struggled to hold her in one spot; he could tell she was not going to back down that easily. After several minutes of resistance, James finally shouted. “I’m sick and tired of us always arguing!”
Lily stopped fighting. He had caught her off guard.
James carefully studied her confused look, wishing he could read her mind. Believing it safe to back away, James slowly released his grip on Lily’s shoulders and nervously scratched the back of his head, trying to say what he had been meaning to say for quite some time.
“Look,” he tried to soothe her by speaking in a deep, calm voice, “I know this play better than anyone here.” James waited for any sort of reaction, but Lily’s face was emotionless. “Maybe not as much as your dad,” James added under his breath as a side note, speaking for the pair of them, “but I work on the set all day. I hear more than you think I do, Lily.”
James swallowed before continuing in a softer voice. “Trust me,” he pleaded. “I can help you learn your lines.”
Lily swallowed, momentarily wary. It wasn’t long, however, before her senses kicked back in. She straightened her back and cleared her throat, attempting to act as dignified as possible. James bravely stood in his spot, anxiously awaiting Lily’s response.
“If I was desperate enough,” Lily heard herself speak, as if it were someone else’s voice and not her own, “I could easily find someone else to help me learn my lines.” Her stomach was doing cartwheels; her heart rate was much faster than normal; she was starting to grow light-headed once her had knees locked beneath her. But Lily jutted out her chin as she spoke in an attempt to appear stronger and more confident than she actually felt.
James looked stunned. He squinted at Lily, as if unable to believe what she had said. His eyes darted back and forth, analyzing every inch of her face. And when he finally realized that she had meant what she said, he let out a loud yell of frustration and walked back to the stage. “God, Lily,” James threw his arms into the air. “Here we go again!”
Lily frowned. She felt her eyes slowly follow James as he stepped onstage, trying to process what had just happened.
Instantly, her nerves and confusion turned to anger.
He can’t do that! Lily protested in disbelief, taking in deep breaths to steady her emotions. He can’t just shout at me and then walk away thinking he’s off the hook! Lily’s feet started to move involuntarily in his direction.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” she hissed, following James’ shadow up the stairs and onto the stage.
James abruptly spun on his heel, nearly causing Lily to run into him. She stopped just before colliding into his chest. Instead, she chose to take one step back down the staircase, but didn’t let the fact that he was now at least a foot “ or more “ taller intimidate her.
“This is the second - ” he held up two fingers to make a point “ “ time that I’ve offered to help you. And both times, you’ve turned me down because you’re too damn stubborn to let go of the past!” James opened his mouth to say more “ but nothing came out.
When he stopped speaking, Lily put a hand on her waist and raised an eyebrow at James, acting very irritated. “What?”
James slowly closed his eyes and shook his head. With a frustrated sigh, he calmly climbed up the rest of the steps and dropped to his knees beside one of the red curtains that normally covered the stage. He hastily started throwing his own belongings together into a bag of his own, but paused just before throwing in a pile of sketches. He felt his hand ball into a fist, accidentally crushing the papers. James started pointing them in an accusatory manner towards Lily.
“Why won’t you ever let anything go? You know,” he added in a sarcastic voice, looking up at Lily with a questioning glare, “move on instead of dwelling on the past.”
Lily held a finger up to her lips with an exaggerated expression, as if she was thinking intently about the question and displayed a look of mock concern. “Oh, gee, I don’t know “ maybe it was all of those stupid pranks that you played on me at school, Potter!” She felt her heart race. “It’s not like its just one event that I can forget, is it? There’s too many to count!”
James shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. He stuffed the sketches into his backpack, and zipped it closed. “You must have forgotten about all of the reciprocated pranks, then, Lily,” he growled back at her. James rolled his eyes and brushed past Lily, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “I’ve forgotten about the pranks!” he shouted back at her, keeping his gaze focused on the exit. “I’ve been willing to put our past aside for over a month, now “ what about you?”
With these last words, James spun around on Lily unexpectedly, as if knowing that she was trying to chase him around the room again. And, sure enough, she had been following him back down the stairs, but instead of standing one step below James, she was now one step above him. But, interestingly enough, this time she seemed to be looking him directly in the eyes, his face now inches from hers; she felt far too close for comfort.
While still attempting to keep an air of superiority, Lily indiscreetly shuffled as far back on her step as possible before answering. “Well “ maybe your pranks hurt me more than mine hurt you!” she stabbed at a ridiculous answer, poking him in the chest for emphasis.
James raised an eyebrow at her response. Slowly, as if he were trying to draw out Lily’s discomfort level, James stepped up beside her onto the same stair “ several inches taller than Lily, now that they were both standing on level ground “ and much closer than she would have ever imagined they would be. Lily struggled to maintain eye contact when she felt so small next to his large form. He took a second step forward, forcing Lily to lean back. He was inches from touching her.
“Maybe the pranks did hurt you,” James continued their conversation in a louder voice, “but you can’t say that your pranks weren’t as bad as mine.” James started to yell. “Besides “ that still wouldn’t change the fact that you have never forgiven me when I let the past slide!” He looked like he was seconds from shaking her. “People change “ I’m not who I was seven years ago. You need to understand that!” He took in a deep breath and was about to continue shouting at her “ Lily could sense the anger building up inside of him “
But he backed off without another word.
Lily knew their conversation was not finished. The tension in the air had not been resolved. He still had more to say to her.
And for some strange reason, Lily felt like she needed to hear it.
James silently shook his head, as if answering Lily’s unspoken question. He turned and ran down the steps and walked quickly towards the exit.
Lily climbed back up the stairs and moved to the center of the stage, her eyes following his every move.
“Potter!” Lily shouted at the top of her lungs. He didn’t stop. She took in a second, deep breath. “What were you about to say?”
James halted just before he hit the doors. His hands were poised at the door handle, ready to shove it open, but Lily had held him back. His head dropped onto his chest, exhausted. He didn’t want to do it “ it would only make things worse.
“Nothing,” James finally called out with a general wave of his arm, resigning to keep it to himself. He pushed the door open. “I’m not fighting you anymore.”
“James.”
It was the first time she had called him by his first name. There was no menace in her voice; she was not accusing him of anything; she only wanted his opinion.
“Tell me.”
James released the door leading to the streets and it slammed closed behind him, breaking the silence.
Blinking several times at his feet, he crossed his arms over his chest. Slowly, his eyes rose and met with Lily’s.
“You really want to know?”
Lily did not answer. She could only nod.
James sighed, summoning all of the energy he could in order to prepare himself for the battle about to ensue. He dropped his hands to his side and stepped back into her line of sight.
“Alright,” he agreed, scuffing his feet against the floor as he walked, “then tell me “ who would read lines for you?”
Lily frowned, very confused. She felt her knees shake involuntarily at James’ strange question. Feeling it was wiser not to fall, she chose, instead, to sit on the edge of the stage with her legs dangling off of the side. “What does - ”
“You told me,” James cut in, his pulse rising as he retraced his steps, back towards the stage, “that you could find anyone else to help you with your lines “ right?” By the time he finished his sentence, he had reached Lily.
James dropped his bag and stepped close enough to be less than a foot from Lily’s face. He narrowed his eyes at her “ but not in the cruel manner. He looked genuinely interested.
“Who?”
“Who, what?” Lily quickly retorted, frowning. She had not been expecting an interrogation when she asked for his opinion.
James knew that she was only trying to stall for time; he also knew that it wouldn’t work. He merely repeated his question.
“Who would read lines for you, Lily?”
Lily blinked several times and averted her gaze from James’. She tried looking above his head and at the bare walls, but consistently felt her eyes fall into her lap where her hands were clenched together, cutting off the blood flow to her fingers. “Well, Anna and Chelsea,” Lily heard herself speak, adding forced laughter to the end of her answer. “Of course. They’re my best friends.”
James shook his head with a small chuckle. He dropped both of his hands onto the edge of the stage, on opposite sides of Lily, and leaned in closer. Lily felt a jolt of energy shoot through her as James’ thumb accidentally brushed against her thigh. She was powerless; she was sitting on the stage, but James still seemed to be just as tall as her standing on the floor. As her heart thudded faster in her chest and her face heated up, Lily wondered if she was beginning to develop claustrophobia.
James’ voice broke through her thoughts. “I’m talking about within the cast, Lily. Not at Hogwarts.”
Lily moved her legs closer together, and shifted her shoulders, very uncomfortable with the situation at hand. “Well, my dad - ”
“No,” James cut her off for the second time that night. “He doesn’t count.” James moved closer. Their noses were nearly touching as he uttered his final words.
“Someone in the cast.”
Lily felt her head fall. She was staring at her hands again, but she felt much worse than before. He was absolutely right, and they both knew it; she had no friends other than those she had made at Hogwarts.
Lily had always tried so hard to be a perfect actress, that she had never bothered befriending anyone her age; she never thought that it would ever improve her acting skills, so she never worried about whether or not people liked her. Even James had waltzed in out of the blue and been able to get to know the cast better than she ever had.
But the moment she looked up to respond, she realized with a pang that he had already left.
He had apparated home.
Lily breathed out a sigh of relief. Her claustrophobia had subsided for the moment; she could finally breathe again.
She didn’t move for several minutes, letting the events sink in.
“I asked for it,” Lily muttered to herself, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. “I can’t blame him for that…”
With a heavy sigh, Lily tried to clear her head. She lifted her gaze from her lap, but something in front of her caught her eye.
It was James’ bag.
Lily felt her stomach seize up.
Her anxiety was far from over.
*
Lily held up a sheet of paper that she had taken from one of her father’s many notebooks he had stored in his office at the theater. It was an informational sheet with a list of the cast members and their contact information.
She squinted at the small penmanship at the bottom of the page that listed James Potter’s address. Her heart thudded against her ribcage when she realized what she was about to do.
Taking one last deep breath, Lily readjusted her stance, trying to keep James’ bag, as well as her own, to stay comfortably on her shoulder. She clutched her own green bag for security with one shaking hand, and knocked timidly on his door with the other.
But, to Lily’s surprise, it wasn’t James that answered the door. It was a beautiful woman with a pleasant smile.
“Hello,” her voice rang with happiness.
“Uh “ hi,” Lily felt her own voice croak, sounding downright ugly in comparison to this woman’s voice. “Is James “ is he here?” Lily started to glance back down at the sheet in her hand, wondering if she had come to the right address. I knew that three looked like an eight. And that four is definitely a nine…
The woman scrunched up her nose in thought. “I’m not sure,” she shrugged.
“Oh,” Lily sighed, immensely relieved. She started to roll James’ heavy bag off of her shoulder. “Since he isn’t, could you just give - ”
“But,” the woman interrupted Lily with a quick glance behind her toward the back of the house, “if he is, he’s most likely in the backyard.”
Lily nodded, feeling her stomach drop. Reluctantly, she pulled his bag back onto her shoulder and she backed down from the door mat with a small wave. “Thank you.”
“No problem, dear.”
Lily trudged around to the side of the house as she heard the front door close. Part of her had almost been wishing that this wasn’t the right house; anything, at that moment, would have seemed easier than delivering a lost artifact to someone that had just called her bluff.
Soon, she felt her mind reel, absorbing several pieces of information all at once. She’s gorgeous! Is she James’ mum? She seemed really nice. However, Lily immediately put a stop to her wandering thoughts as soon as she started to debate whether or not James would inherit the woman’s everlasting beauty.
A hill blocked Lily’s vision from the back of the Potter’s house. She climbed up and over the hill and felt her jaw drop.
Down the stretch of grass was an open area just behind the house that she had been expecting to find James; however, he was not there. She hesitantly looked further in the distance and found a small creek, running into the Potter’s yard, and out in the opposite direction. Several rather large trees surrounded the creek and seemed to continue for miles.
James had to be somewhere within the mass of trees.
She didn’t wait any longer. Eventually, she would have to say something to him, and she would just assume it be sooner rather than later.
Lily followed the water into the thick mass of trees, unsure of where it would end. She wasn’t even sure if she was still on the Potters’ property any longer. For all she knew, Lily was trespassing on someone else’s land.
It wasn’t until Lily stumbled over a left shoe “ and was inches from rolling into the creek “ that she even knew she was close.
Lily lifted her gaze. She had followed the creek upstream and was now looking at a large, shallow pool of water: the source of the creek. Trees circled the bank of the small pond, giving it a secluded look, and branches hung over the rippling water, blocking out the strong beams of light from the sun.
She stepped carefully onto the rocks and dirt that bordered the pond, noticing a pair of socks and a right shoe beside her that were thrown onto the grass. Slowly, Lily glanced up, swallowing her pride.
James stood directly in the middle of the pond with his pants rolled up to his knees. He was currently ankle deep in the pool of water, skipping rocks across the surface.
“James!”
Startled, the dark-haired boy turned his head, surprised to hear a voice other than his own.
James reached up to run his hand through his hair “ a nervous habit of his. He hadn’t been expecting Lily to follow him to his own home. Especially after he had just verbally attacked her back at the theater…
He clutched onto the rocks that he was holding, making small indentations in the palm of his hand, and braced himself for the argument they were about to have “ yet another conversation James would be more than willing to forget about.
Lily set down his backpack next to his right shoe. “You left your bag at the theater.”
James showed no sign of hearing anything that she had just said. He raised an arm to his side and threw a rock, watching it skip across the top of the water.
Lily bit her bottom lip, far more nervous than she had ever been in her life. Carefully, she stepped onto a smooth stone. “Can you come out of the water, please?” Lily asked in the kindest voice she could muster. She swayed back and forth, unable to steady her feet on the slippery slope beneath her. “I want “ I need to say something.”
He didn’t move, afraid that Lily might physically assault him. Or worse, throw some sort of an advanced spell at him that he couldn’t break until someone else found him stranded in the middle of his large backyard. But by that time, it could be too late.
James felt for his wand through his pocket “ just in case.
“Look, I’m sorry,” James apologized with a heavy sigh. Things would just get worse if he didn’t do something about it now. “I got carried away back there, and I shouldn’t have.” He threw a rock and it bounced several times before sinking into the water. “I was out of line.”
“You’re “ no,” Lily felt her own voice crack, as if she hadn’t used it in several days. “You shouldn’t be apologizing for anything.”
James looked down at the rippling water. He was very confused. Since when did Lily tell him not to apologize for something he did?
“Could you just “ come out for a minute?” Lily asked. She squinted as a small patch of bright light from the setting sun forced itself in between the branches of the hovering trees and hit the surface of the pond, bouncing the light back into her eyes. She blindly walked around the bank to avoid the sun until she reached a tree, large enough that she would not be able to fit her hands around the trunk if she tried. She put her weight up against the trunk to steady herself. “I want to say something.”
James did not move.
“Alright,” Lily started to speak loudly in response to his unwillingness to leave the water. Still leaning against the tree, Lily stepped onto a mound of dirt bordering the small pond, debating whether or not she should walk into the water to speak to James face to face, or shout at him from several yards away. “I know you’re upset with me, so… I’ll make this as short and painless as possible.” Lily braced the tree trunk behind her for support.
“I’m sorry.”
James’ ears perked. He had forgotten entirely about whether or not he had his wand to protect him any longer.
Lily was apologizing to him.
Lily was apologizing to him.
In the seven years of knowing her, she had never done this to him before.
Ever.
He tilted his head and looked into Lily’s eyes, waiting for her to continue.
“You’re right,” Lily finally admitted. “About everything.”
James turned so that his whole body was facing Lily now. He dropped the rocks he had been holding and put both hands in his pockets, listening to what Lily had to say.
“You were right about how much I’m afraid that I won’t live up to other people’s standards because I’m the director’s daughter.” Lily kicked a rock into the water, unable to make eye contact with James. She was much too embarrassed. “And about how stubborn I am that I can’t forget the past.” Lily laughed sadly. She blinked furiously as tears clouded her vision. “And you’re right about how I “ I don’t have any friends in the play.” She shrugged and scratched carelessly at the back of her head, hoping James wouldn’t realize she was as upset as she felt. She fought to keep her gaze focused on the ground and as far away from James as possible. “So “ I’m sorry. And, I guess it’s a little late, you know, but, uh…” Lily’s voice trailed off as soon as she saw a pair of feet step onto the dry land and felt two hands grab her arms.
“I can help,” James spoke kindly, cutting off Lily’s lengthy apology.
Lily blinked several more times before she was sure that her tears had vanished. She fell back against the trunk of the tree, grateful that it was there to hold her upright. She looked up into James’ eyes and couldn’t help but smile. She had found a new friend.
“On one condition,” James quickly interrupted the moment. He dropped his hands from Lily’s arms and crossed them over his chest, as if analyzing Lily. He moved backward, back into the cold water, with a sly smile.
Lily didn’t move. She didn’t blink. She didn’t breathe.
Anything, Lily found herself silently responding.
“Our past,” James said, “is all put behind us.”
Lily nodded immediately. “Alright.”
“All of the pranks,” James reminded her. “The bad arguments. Everything.”
Lily nodded again. “Of course.”
“From here on,” James pointed to the ground to make a point, “this is all a brand new start. This is where it begins. Right now.”
Lily smiled. “Absolutely.”
James surveyed the girl before him. After looking her up and down multiple times, he finally cracked a smile. “Alright, then. It’s settled.” He held out a hand to Lily as if he were being formally introduced to her. With a grateful smile spreading across her lips, Lily took his hand and firmly shook it. It was a new beginning.
They laughed at the awkward situation that they had been plunged into. Neither of them were used to being around the other without arguing. It would take some time to grow on them.
“I’ll see you on Monday, then,” James spoke loudly, breaking the gentle hush that had fallen around them. “We’ll run lines.”
Lily backed away from James and his friendly, hazel eyes. She ran into the tree trunk and smiled nervously. After maneuvering to the side, she backed out properly. “Right,” Lily agreed. “After play practice?”
“Until then,” James replied, hiding his laugh. He slowly moved his bare feet backwards, back into the water with a smile.
Lily gripped at her green bag, tugging at the loose threads sticking out at odd angles. She protectively pulled it in front of her and started to fiddle with the strap of the bag. “Bye,” she waved. Lily walked backwards over James’ other shoe “ his right one “ and stumbled. She quickly caught herself and blushed, exiting hurriedly from the forested area so as not to make an even bigger fool of herself.
James scooped up another pile of stones and began chucking them across the water, smiling to himself.
This was the first conversation with Lily that he actually wanted to remember.