“Sirius? Sirius? Padfoot, where are you?” James searched fruitlessly. His best mate had been here for not even two minutes, and he was already causing trouble. James suddenly widened his eyes in alarm as new thoughts emerged in his head. What if Sirius was inside Lily’s house already? What if he blew something up? What if”
“I’m right here, Jamsie-Poo,” came Sirius’s voice after a while.
James whipped around to see Sirius leaning against a red-bricked house.
Sirius grinned at his best mate’s obvious relief as James quickly hurried over to him.
“Padfoot, now listen”” James started quickly, running a hand through his hair for what had to have been the millionth time that day
“I know. I know.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t blow anything up. Don’t think about blowing anything up, and don’t make someone else blow something up,” stated Sirius in a bored voice as if he had gone over this procedure many times before.
James nodded his head before adding, “Also, I need you to stay out here until I tell Lily that you are coming, too. Got it? Stay.”
“I will not be treated like a dog!” exclaimed Sirius, raising his arm in the air and pointing at the sky in order to make his point.
James smirked at the pun, and Sirius gave a small grin before continuing,
“Just because I’m Snuffles half of my life doesn’t mean I can be treated like him at every minute! I, Sirius Black”Hogwarts Number One Hottie”should be treated with respect!” finished Sirius dramatically.
“Padfoot, Padfoot. I think you might have hit your head recently. You know that you are Hogwarts Number Two Hottie; you can never live up to my standard,” said James, shaking his head in mock pity for his best mate.
“Prongs, my dear fellow, when will you learn? The girls like my gorgeous hair and mysterious eyes,” Sirius batted his eyelashes. “Plus, they like a rebel.”
“Well, Padfoot, old pal, you are the one mistaken. Girls like my mischievous manner and stunning good looks. And, they like a prankster.”
“You mean Lily likes your mischievous manner, stunning good looks, and prankster ways,” snorted Sirius.
“Hey, that’s what matters.” James shrugged.
“You do remember that Lily is waiting inside for you.”
James yelped, running a hand through his hair again before saying, “Padfoot, you stay out here until I tell you to come in, okay?”
“Prroonngsss…” whined Sirius.
“No! Stay out here! I need to prepare Lily for your arrival, and god knows what she’ll do. You two aren’t on the best of terms.”
“Was it my fault that she was thrown into the middle of the Slytherin table last year?” asked Sirius, throwing his hands into the air.
“Yes.”
“Well, she didn’t have to get into such a huff about it.”
“She landed into a pile of pudding,” remarked James.
“So,” argued Sirius, “I like pudding,”
“Well, Lily obviously didn’t.”
“Besides,” said Sirius, ignoring James’s last comment, “I was punished for my so-called crime most severely. Evans and I should be even.”
“I punished you; Lily has yet to. Besides, you know she keeps grudges for a long time.”
“But you made me bald! I had to walk around the school bald for a week!"
James snickered, remembering his payback.
“It wasn’t funny!” said Sirius, frustrated.
“You’re right. It wasn’t funny,” said James seriously.
Sirius nodded.
“It was hilarious!” James erupted into laughter.
“You prat! I lost half of my girlfriends that week! I was left with only six different girls. Six!” yelled Sirius, in a horrified voice, over James’s laughing.
“How truly dreadful,” mocked James, calming down enough to talk.
Sirius glared at him, and then smiled. “Prongs, you are the most forgetful person I know."
“What do you mean?” asked James, confused.
“One word,” said Sirius. “Lily.”
James yelped again before running to the door. “Padfoot, I’m begging you; stay out here!”
“Shouldn’t I be the one begging?” smirked Sirius.
James smiled briefly before turning toward the door. Here it goes. Then, he knocked.
**
Lily and Petunia were lounging in their family room, waiting for their guests. Neither was speaking to each other. There was dead silence except for the ticking of the clock and the hum of the washing machine. One sister had more to worry about than the other though. Petunia was doing all she could to stay composed, but this day was falling apart. Not only was this the first time Vernon would meet her father, but Lily’s freak-of-a-boyfriend was coming over. Petunia sighed. Why couldn’t Vernon have chosen any other day? He’d had many chances to meet her dad, but he always said he wanted to meet her father when the time was right. Why was now the right time? Petunia groaned to herself.
Lily shifted on the couch, causing Petunia to glance at her sister. Of course, Lily looked content. No signs of worry were etched on her face, and she was still beaming in that annoying way. Petunia frowned. Her sister’s life seemed so perfect…why did Lily have to be a one of them? Sisters were supposed to do everything together, but Petunia couldn’t do that with Lily. Lily was abnormal.
KNOCK! KNOCK! Both sisters jumped at the noise. Lily quickly slid off of the couch, almost bouncing as she flew towards the front door. Petunia narrowed her eyes. She wanted to meet the person who had succeeded in making Lily this happy.
At the sound of the door opening, Petunia sighed, closing her eyes briefly. It was going to be a long night.
**
Lily practically sprinted towards the door. The stillness was killing her. She had never been one who dealt well with silence. But then again, Petunia might as well have been yelling at her, the tension in the room was so thick.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Lily slowed herself down enough to grab the doorknob. With no hesitation, she practically ripped the door open. Her sparkling green eyes met hazel ones. How she had missed those eyes! Lily noticed how James’s smile immediately broadened at the sight of her. It made her own smile even wider.
“Hey,” the messy haired boy said softly. Had James always looked this cute?
Lily quickly closed the space between them, touching her lips to his.
“Hey, yourself,” she answered as she pulled back. Then, she kissed him once more.
James laughed. “Did you miss me that much? I mean, I know I’m irresistible and all, but””
“Oh, just shut up and keep kissing me you prat!” interrupted Lily with her own laughter.
James quickly complied, but pulled back yet again as snickers emerged from the bushes behind him.
“Let’s go inside,” he suggested, glaring at what seemed like the empty space behind him.
Lily quickly let him in, closing the door behind them.
“I really have missed you,” she said, throwing her pony tail behind her shoulder.
“Me, too,” said James, smiling at Lily. “Are your parents here?”
“Not yet; they should be back in an about an hour.”
“Well, in that case……” replied James huskily.
The space between them was no more. Lily’s hand moved to James’s hair, reminding her how much she had missed this boy. James’s hand moved to the small of Lily’s back to bring her even closer when”
“Ahem!”
James backed off Lily so quickly it was as if a bomb had exploded between the two. Lily turned around, her lips slightly swollen, to see her sister glaring daggers at her.
Lily smoothed her clothes before returning the glare. “What do you want, Petunia?”
“I wanted to see what was taking you so long,” Petunia glowered, “But now, I see why.” A smirk appeared on her face.
“Well, now that your curiosity is settled, can I get back to James now?” Lily quickly touched her lips to James’s before James could refuse.
“Lily!” cried Petunia, scandalized.
“What?” Lily snapped back, whipping around to face her sister.
“Vernon will be here soon, and I will not have you and that freak snogging right in front of him!”
“STOP INSULTING JAMES!” snarled Lily, reaching for her wand and pointing it at her sister for the second time that day.
“She’s not worth it, Lily flower,” James murmured softly, coaxing Lily to lower her wand. “I’ve been called a lot worse. That isn’t even an insult compared to the words Snivellus uses.”
“Still, Petunia needs to get over her nasty habit of talking about people,” Lily said, trying to aim her wand.
“Lily, it’s fine,” reassured James.
Lily lowered her wand, though she threw her sister a dirty look.
“Petunia, is it? You’re Lily’s sister?” asked James, changing the subject.
“Yes,” Petunia answered stiffly, “And you must be James.”
“That’s me,” James smiled proudly. “Glad to meet you, Petunia.” He held out his hand.
“Well, it’s so nice to meet you, too,” said Petunia, sarcasm dripping off every word. She ignored the hand in front of her until James lowered it. Lily looked murderous.
James frowned for a moment before saying, “Well, like I said, I’m glad to meet my Lily flower’s sister.”
Petunia nodded briefly. There was an awkward silence until James suddenly spoke again.
“Lily, before I forget I have to-uh- tell you something.” James shifted uneasily from side to side, thinking, Lily’s gonna kill me.
“AHA! I told you,” sneered Petunia. “I told you he’d toss you away like a piece of meat. He’s going to break up with you, Lily. He’s”” Petunia stopped speaking at the terrible look on James face. His face had changed to utmost anger; he looked absolutely livid. Petunia trembled a bit.
“I would never do that to Lily,” he hissed, his face now just inches from Petunia’s cowering figure. “I would rather be thrown into the wizarding prison Azkaban and be guarded by dementors than betray Lily. Understand?”
Petunia gave a swift nod, terrified by the figure in front of her. He seemed to be giving off power. It was as if this force was full of lightening shooting throughout the room. It grew stronger whenever he said Lily’s name. Petunia just continued to nod, petrified, before watching James quickly turn back to Lily and kiss her fiercely as if to prove his point.
“Now what did you want to tell me?” murmured Lily, a bit dazed from the words and the kiss she had just received.
“Well,” James began, ruffling his hair, an action Lily quickly noticed.
“What did you do?” she asked sternly, crossing her arms. It was as if James’s outburst had never occurred.
“Nothing”honestly! It’s just I-uh- kind of invited someone over here, and I””
James never got to finish as a CRACK resounded through the room, causing Petunia to scream.
“Hey Evans, did you miss me?”
Lily groaned, muttering to herself, “Black? Black? Please let it be anyone but Black!” She slowly swiveled around to be looking into the gray eyes of Sirius Black while James yelled, “Padfoot! I told you to wait for me to come and get you!”
“Well, Prongs, you were taking an awfully long time, and I thought I should intervene before you and Lily got too cozy.” Sirius argued back, a sly smile on his face.
Petunia stood there, aghast, before saying to herself, “Not another one. Oh god, no. Not another freak!”
“Why did you have to come?” asked Lily in a hopeless voice.
“Glad to see you, too,” muttered Sirius.
Lily just glared at him while James rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Evans! It wasn’t my fault! James wouldn’t let me stay in the mansion by myself!” tried Sirius.
“You caught it on fire last time!”
“You did what?” screeched Lily, her eyes widening and her hands on her hips.
“How was I to know that muggle matches made fire?” defended Sirius. “Besides it was no big deal.”
“Yeah, we only had to repair half of the third floor,” remarked James sarcastically.
Lily threw her hands in the air. Some things would never change.
Sirius suddenly turned at the sound of a snicker behind him.
“And who are you, my fine maiden?” he asked in a suave voice.
“Lily’s sister, Petunia,” she snapped, all amusement gone. Her glower suddenly intensified at the tone of Sirius’s voice.
Sirius yelped, “Does everyone in your family glare like that, Lily?”
“Only at you,” she answered, smiling sweetly.
Sirius huffed, muttering to himself, “Well, aren’t we biased…”
“Black, you can go into the family room,” interrupted Lily, pointing to a room down the hallway.
“Whatever you say, Ma’am!” saluted Sirius. He started down the hall before adding slyly, “I realize that I am not wanted when you snog the life out of Prongs here.”
“Black, GO!” yelled Lily furiously.
“Still being treated like a dog. Some things never change…” Sirius shook his head good naturally before exiting the hallway.
The three watched his retreating form turn around the corner and disappear.
“Now where were we?” Lily asked James, forgetting about her sister for the time being.
Then the phone rang. Lily groaned. You just couldn’t kiss your boyfriend without any distractions anymore.
“Petunia, go answer it.”
“You answer it!” said Petunia stubbornly.
“Answer it or I’ll curse Vernon when he comes!” threatened Lily.
Both sisters glared at each other before Petunia turned on her heel and stomped towards the phone. It rang once more before Petunia answered it.
“Hello?”
“Petunia darling, is that you?” came the voice of their mother, Rosemary Evans.
“Yes, mum,” Petunia answered dully. “How was your trip?”
“Oh! It was so romantic; I had the best time!” gushed Mrs. Evans. “Your father””
“No details, please,” interrupted Petunia.
Her mother’s laughter rang out.
“Are you going to be home soon?” Petunia asked impatiently. She didn’t want to be alone with those freaks any longer than she had to.
“That’s actually why I’m calling, dear. You see, our flight got delayed, and we won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon. So, you just tell Vernon and James to stay the night.”
Petunia almost dropped the phone. She would have to stay an entire night with them? With those weirdoes? Wait”did her mother say James? She knew?
“Petunia, are you there?” came her mother’s voice worriedly.
“You knew?” Petunia almost shouted.
“Knew what?”
“You knew that Lily was bringing her boyfriend over here?”
“Yes, did you not?” her mother’s voice sounded confused.
“Lily told me today!”
“Well, she must have had her reasons…” Mrs. Evans’s voice trailed off.
Of course, Lily must have had her reasons. Petunia mocked in her head.
“Is James over there now?”
“Unfortunately,” Petunia muttered quietly.
“Sorry dear, I didn’t catch that last bit. What did you say?” questioned her mother.
“Yes, he is, Mother.”
“Do you like him? Tell me what you think,” urged Mrs. Evans eagerly.
“He’s”” Petunia stopped herself, smiling wickedly; she knew how to get Lily back. “He’s absolutely horrible, Mum. To be honest, this boy scares me. I mean, he was all over Lily when I walked in on the two of them, and he smells like he had been drinking seven days a week!”
“WHAT?”
“Oh yes, Mum. I think he needs to leave,” Petunia smiled nastily.
“Get Lily on the phone,” her mother said quietly.
“My pleasure,” announced Petunia. “LILY! MUM ON THE PHONE!”
Lily came running into view, but stopped dead at the look on Petunia’s face. Lily knew that look well; it was look they both wore when they knew the other was in trouble.
“What did you say to Mum?” Lily growled dangerously.
“Nothing at all,” Petunia smiled sweetly, “But you better talk to her soon or she’ll have a heart attack.”
Lily snatched the phone out of Petunia’s grasp, glaring at her sister’s retreating form. If Petunia had done anything then she was going to curse her.
“Mum?” Lily asked hesitantly
“LILY MARIE EVANS YOU TELL THAT BOY TO GO HOME THIS INSTANT!” yelled her mother.
“What?”
“Petunia told me all about him. I will not have a boy who is an alcoholic and never””
“SHE TOLD YOU WHAT?” screamed Lily.
Mrs. Evans quickly repeated herself.
“Mum, calm down. Petunia lied! The b””
“Stop right there young lady! I’m warning you. Get that boy out of here!” scolded her mother.
“MUM! Do you actually believe that I would date an alcoholic?”
“We all have a lack of judgment sometimes”” reasoned her mother.
“I WOULD NOT! PETUNIA IS LYING TO YOU MUM! SHE JUST DOESN’T WANT ME TO MESS UP HER PERFECT LIFE! I HATE HER!” Lily was near tears.
“Now, Lily””
“No! I’ll even prove it to you!” Lily cried. “James, come here!”
James appeared, concern written on his face when he saw Lily.
“Lils, what’s wrong”” he started.
“Just talk to my mum into this,” she held the phone to him.
James took it hesitantly. “Hello, Mrs. Evans. What””
Lily snatched it back, nearing screaming into it. “DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A DRUNKARD TO YOU?”
James’s eyes widened.
“It does to me,” Sirius said, poking his head into the hall.
Lily seized her wand from her back pocket and flicked it towards the Marauder. Sirius barely had time to duck.
“Mum, answer me!”
“No, it doesn’t Lily, but””
“You’ll see tonight how wonderful James is. You’ll see!”
“Honey, we won’t be home until tomorrow,” said her mother gently.
“Fine! Then I’ll prove it to you tomorrow! Good-bye mum!” Lily slammed the phone down onto the receiver.
James looked at her quizzically. “What was that about?”
Lily ignored him, shouting, “PETUNIA! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”
Lily sprinted towards her sister, ready to murder her.
Sirius and James watched the sisters raced around the house, both screaming.
Sirius chuckled as Petunia ducked, yelling at her sister to stop trying to curse her.
“Do you think we should stop them?” asked James.
“And ruin the entertainment?” said Sirius incredulously. “I think not! Besides, I’ve been hit with enough of Lily’s curses to know when to step in or not.”
James nodded his head, thinking that it was going to be a long two days.
Questioning the Freak and the Whale by Phenioxsong22
Chapter Notes: It all belongs to Jo!