“I’m already on your sister’s hate list. Won’t this just make it worse for you? I mean to see you and me together””
“You have exactly one second to shut up.”
James immediately clamped his mouth shut, but threw Lily’s friends one last, desperate look. They waved at him sympathetically until the crowd swallowed the couple up.
“LILY!”
The students, for one brief moment, paused and searched for the source of the noise. Lily finally broke through the mass of people enough to see Petunia. She was cowering, visibly cringing away from the crowd, as the stares pinpointed the noise and locked eyes with the woman.
“L-LI-LILY EVANS!”
Lily hurried up to her sister, literally dragging James by the hand. For one moment, Petunia looked relieved to see the familiar red head, but complete rage replaced the emotion as quickly as it came. Lily suddenly turned her head back to see the students still eyeing her warily.
“WELL?” she yelled at them. They jumped and instantly restarted their partying antics. Lily sighed heavily. When she returned her gaze to Petunia, it was Lily who shrank back. She collided slightly with James, who put his arms around her instinctively.
Petunia narrowed her eyes in disdain at the small gesture and James, getting the point, released his hold.
“Let’s go into the hall,” Lily said hurriedly and, before Petunia could protest, rushed into the small corridor.
Petunia stalked angrily after her and stopped inches from Lily. She shakily pointed towards the family room. “There is a party in there with m-magic!”
“Way to point out the obvious,” Lily said without thinking.
In a rash movement, Petunia swung her hand back and slapped her little sister. The sound echoed through the room and bounced off the walls, until finally creating an invisible barrier between the two sisters.
Lily and Petunia both gasped. Lily shakily lifted her hand to her cheek and then looked at it, as if expecting to see blood.
“I-I’m sorry.” Petunia’s eyes were fastened onto the quickly appearing hand print. “I’m sorry.”
While Lily stared at her in disbelief, James stepped between the two sisters. “Stay away from her. I don’t want you near her.” He was blazing with the same vivid anger that Petunia had caused once before.
“I”” she started, but another voice interrupted.
“I always knew you were the real witch.” Everyone turned towards the sneering tone. The teenager was wearing all black, his hair swinging around his face ungracefully. He stepped out of the small alcove hidden from where the three were standing.
“Snivellus!” James snarled. He whipped his wand out and pushed Lily behind him all in one motion. Petunia’s face had turned white.
Severus rolled his eyes at the Gryffindor in front of him, but James continued, “Get out of here.”
Severus just smirked at the angered man. “I don’t believe I have ever taken orders from a prat before. Besides, I wasn’t talking to you but to Tuney here.” He sneered her name. “Tuney and I go way back. Remember the tree branch?” Petunia took a step back, but Lily wrenched herself away from James’s restraining hand. Snape’s eyes never left the imprint on her cheek.
“Leave, Severus.”
Hurt clouded the black eyes for a moment, but it was quickly hidden under an impassive expression. “Why should I? I’ve always been welcome in the Evans’ house.”
“Used to be,” Lily corrected. “But the Mudblood’s house isn’t good enough for you now, is it, Sev?”
“I never meant”” he started hurriedly, as if forgetting there were other people in the room.
“Save your breath. Go back to your little Death Eater friends. You can insult me all you want, but don’t you dare start anything in my house.”
“Actually, if you even think about insulting my girlfriend, that tongue of yours will go missing,” James growled. His hand was clenching his wand so tightly that sparks were flying out in small increments.
Snape’s eyes glittered oddly. “Fine,” he spat. “But know he won’t always be there to protect you. It’s a new world, Lily, and you have no idea what you’re up against.”
James lunged forward, but Snape had already gone with a small pop. The teenager cursed violently, his hands up as if he was strangling the air.
Lily closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. Inch by inch, she slid down the wall until her head was lying on her knees.
“I swear Lily, I’ll kill the””
“James,” Lily began tiredly. “Just get everyone out of here, alright?”
He hesitated for a long moment and glanced warily at Petunia as he spoke, “I’m not leaving you.”
“Please. For once, please listen to me.” James stared at her small, fragile figure and, throwing Petunia a disgusted look, he ran into the adjoining room. The two sisters heard James’s voice magically magnified.
“OY! EVERYONE OUT! NOW!”
There was a mutual groan and complaint as the music came to a crashing stop, but James ignored it. “EVERYONE HAS FIVE SECONDS TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE! DO YOU WANT ME TO JINX YOU?” There was a mad rush and a sound like a bunch of bubbles being popped.
“You too, Mary, Adrianna, Alice.”
“Where’s Lily?” Mary’s demanding voice carried out to the hall.
“Go.”
“Excuse me! I don’t believe you have the right to keep me from seeing my best friend!”
“She’s my girlfriend.”
“Ever heard the saying witches before Snitches?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Girls before boys, you idiot!”
“And how the hell does that refer to a Snitch?”
“You’re a Quidditch player for Merlin’s sake! Everyone knows Snitches are boys.”
“Really, ‘cause I thought a Snitch was an it.”
“A Snitch is a he not an it! And you call yourself a captain.”
“Get out, Mary.”
She huffed angrily. “No.”
“Get out or I’ll make you get out.”
There was a tense silence in which Mary’s muttering could be heard. “Over-controlling boyfriend! You know that’s the first step of an abusive relationship”when the man tells his girlfriend who she can and cannot see. I will be speaking to Lily about this!” There was a whizzing sound, an OW! and then, three angry CRACKS filled the air. James hurried back to Lily and Petunia who were unmoving statues.
“Ok”” James started but another voice interrupted him.
“Where’d everybody go? I wanna…wanna…dance...like a leprechaun. Hee Hee!” Sirius stumbled out of the room, holding the wall for dear life. “You!” He pointed to Lily who just groaned. “You the leprechaun now! Not a skunk! You…you…red hair…” He hiccupped loudly before collapsing on the floor in little fits of giggles. James smacked himself on the forehead just as Vernon waddled into the room.
“H-Help. They had those…sparks everywhere …the boys had…sticks.”
“Yep, boys do have sticks.” Sirius grinned wickedly, acting almost like his old self, until he saw Lily again and started singing about gold.
“Things flying…and pigs! Pigs!” Vernon couldn’t put together a coherent sentence.
James cried out in exasperation, “Oh for Merlin’s sake!”
He pointed his wand at Vernon but Petunia yelled in alarm, “No!” James looked at her sideways.
“Vernon, go into the kitchen,” He pointed his wand at the doorway and then back at the huge man. “And Petunia just…just go.” She cast a worried glance at James and Lily before pulling on a still-muttering Vernon’s arm and leading him out of their sight.
“And Padfoot, go to bed or something.”
Sirius stopped singing for a moment and cocked his head towards James. “Bed? I lurve beds, especially when girls””
“NOW PADFOOT!”
“Okey dokey.” He looked at Lily still curled on the ground and waved. “Bye, Leprechaun.”
Then with a loud pop, he was gone.
“I didn’t mean Apparate, you idiot!” James shook his head and muttered to himself. “He’ll be back within the hour.”
Lily stayed silent, refusing to look James in the eye. He slouched to the floor next her and gently took her chin. He slowly turned it so that the handprint”still red and obvious”could be seen.
“If that bruises, I swear, I’ll””
“Stop,” Lily whispered. “Please stop.”
James glanced at her in concern. “Lily flower, is it the party? Because I promise I’ll punish Sirius for the rest of the year.”
She said nothing, however, just dropped her chin back onto her knees.
“Was it Petunia? Want me to hang her upside down? I”” He trailed off when Lily turned her head away from him.
“Lily, love, you’re scaring me!”
She moved her head, slowly, ever so slowly, until her watering eyes met James’s hazel ones. “What if he’s right?” she breathed.
“Lily?”
“Will you be…gone?”
“Lily, what are you talking about?”
She drew in a ragged breath as she whipped her face away from James again. “What if Severus is right? What if everything is changing and not for the better?”
James gave a quiet chuckle. “You’re worried about what Snivellus, of all people, said?” Lily glared at him.
“That’s my girl,” James said with a small smile. But the phrase seemed to flicker something on in Lily that caused her to close her eyes as if in pain.
“Do you really mean that?” She said in a tone so low, James barely caught it, and when the question finally registered with his brain, James heard himself gasp.
“Do I mean that?” James stuttered. “Lily, Lily, Lily.” He took her hands and squeezed them. “You really doubt me?”
She shrugged, not meeting his eyes.
James was quiet for a long moment and then he began to speak with conviction. “Lily, first year, I thought you were a know-it-all, goody-two-shoes, rule-abiding, should-have-been-a-Ravenclaw kind of girl. Then at the end of the year, I was teasing Snivellus, and you stood up to me. Yelled at me so loud, my eardrums still aren’t the way they used to me; slapped me across the face so hard, my teeth shook; and hexed me with so much power, I spent a night in the hospital wing. I respected you.
“Second year: you were no longer the quiet, studious girl. You were a true Gryffindor”a leader to follow, one to look to in times of trouble, a courageous girl that fights for her beliefs. You were the first person that made me stop and think of the consequences of my actions. I can still remember your words…
-Flashback-
He was on the third floor and in his element.
“Faster! Faster!” The students screamed before erupting into laughter.
James smirked as the Slytherin boy rose on his toes and pirouetted with an unnatural speed. The prank would have been better if the boy was Snape, but beggars can’t be choosers…
He flicked his wand, and the boy did a flying leap.
“Nice tights!” someone hollered and James stifled a laugh. Merlin, he was good.
The laughter in the room suddenly died and James looked over his shoulder, expecting a professor.
Instead, a girl, her red hair swinging around her head like a fiery halo, was slowly marching towards him. James sighed, already readying himself for a slap.
The students slowly moved and pressed against the wall as if Lily was parting the Red Sea.
“Come to ruin the fun, have you?” James called.
But Lily walked straight past him to the boy. He was sitting on the ground, his face bright red.
“I’m sorry. Go to your common room, get yourself changed, and go get a hot cocoa from the house elves. I’m so sorry…”
James waited, expecting an insult from the boy, but he was sorely surprised.
The Slytherin looked Lily in the eye, and whispered, “Thank you.” The two grasped hands and Lily pulled him up so that he was standing. With one more grateful glance toward Lily, he was running. No one laughed.
Lily turned and began walking the opposite direction.
“What, no scolding for James?” the messy haired boy called.
Lily paused and unhurriedly rotated so that it felt like years when the two were finally face to face. “I’m done wasting my breath on you. You don’t deserve to be in Gryffindor. Our founder would have been ashamed to have you in his noble house.”
James felt something creeping inside him. It was clawing around his stomach until he couldn’t breathe, because guilt had always been conveniently missing during his pranks. It wasn’t until now that it decided to show its face.
Lily was already walking away by the time James found his voice.
“He was a Slytherin!” One last defense to excuse his actions.
Lily stopped but didn’t turn around. “Really? Because the one I saw being a true, cruel Slytherin was not the boy wearing the serpent. It was the one holding the wand.”
-Flashback Ends-
“…I hated you that year because I hated myself. Here I was, a twelve year old boy, realizing life wasn’t black and white. Slytherins were not always Slytherins; Gryffindors not always Gryffindors. I eventually disregarded your statement, but it took me weeks to do another prank”something Sirius still says he’s going to kill you for. But eventually, I went back to my ways and it was like you hadn’t spoken…at least that’s what I told myself.
“Beginning of third year, I felt like we were forever in a never-ending cycle. I would mess up, you would a) scream at me b) slap me c) hex me or d) all of the above. Then the cycle would begin all over again. But it was that year that I grudgingly began to like you.
“Fourth year changed everything. You were beautiful, Lily. Emerald green eyes that sparkled with passion, gorgeous locks of red curls, and a fire that consumed you whenever you spoke. It was that year”as I’m sure you remember”that I began my chase to try and catch you. I liked you, wanted you, and was determined to hex everyone in my way.
“Fifth and six year was a continuation of fourth. You refused to acknowledge my feelings for you, and I was devastated every time. You were never a thing to win”and you must understand that!”you were everything I wanted in a girl.”
“Then this year, seventh year.” At this, Lily gave the smallest of smiles as James grinned wildly. “We were made Heads together, and I know you thought Dumbledore had gone insane. We worked together, and finally, finally you said yes! It was the year I fell in love with you.
“Lily, I love you. I can’t imagine life without you. You make me the man I should be, and you represent everything in the world that is good and pure and righteous. So please, Lily, I wear my heart on my sleeve just so you can grab it and never let it go. I know I sound corny and clichéd and cheesy, but Lily Flower, I love you!
“In fact…” James rummaged in his pocket for a second and pulled out a box. Lily’s eyes widened in fear and wonder. Her heart flew into her throat. “Now, before you start to freak out on me, listen.” He popped the box open and a ring caught the light.
“James”I””
“Shh! I said listen.”
“This is a Claddagh ring”cliché, I know”but the hands represent friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart is for love. The emerald is for your eyes, of course. Lily, this is a promise ring…you know what that is, right?” She nodded and James cleared his throat and continued, “ I’ve had it for a while now, months actually, but there was never a right time to actually give it to you, and Sirius said that I was a girl for doing this because giving promise rings is a very girly thing to do, though I didn’t really understand because you like the ring, don’t you, and you will wear it, right, and promise that we will get married soon after school and have little green-eyed, red-haired children running around a white picket fence and brick house with a Quidditch field, of course? Not that you have to, say yes that is, I mean only if you want to, I mean wear it, and…”
Lily pressed her hand over his mouth. “You always ramble when you’re nervous.” She smiled at him and whispered. “Yes, James Potter, yes.” She held out her hand.
James had frozen. The box clenched tightly in his fingers.
“What did you say?”
Lily burst out laughing. “Are we always going to do this when my answer shocks you? But yes, James! Yes, I love you! Yes, I want to be with you! Yes! Yes! Yes!”
James shakily slid the ring on her left hand. And then he was whooping and hollering and swinging Lily around in his arms. He placed her on the ground and pressed his lips to hers. He pulled back the slightest amount just so that he could murmur one last promise to her.
“I do love you, and I always will. Snivellus was right; things are changing, wars are forming, but he was wrong, too. I will never leave you. Even if you can’t see me, I will always be there and my love for you will never fade. Now, have I been cheesy enough, yet?”
“Yes,” Lily laughed, tears sliding her face.
“I never tire of that word…”
She said nothing but kissed James with every ounce of strength she had. She should never have been scared; Severus was wrong”James loved her.
Petunia watched her sister and James kiss each other as if there was no tomorrow. But for once, it didn’t bother her. She felt numb, spent, exhausted. She had been so afraid tonight. Of the magic. Of Snape. Of love. She felt like darkness was overwhelming her until soon, nothing would be left. All because of this night.
Way to point out the obvious…
Petunia shivered. She had slapped her baby sister. Slapped her! Yes, both sisters couldn’t stand each other, but they had never gone to blows before. Sure, they had thrown things and spit words at each other. Lily had even hexed her! But that was in a sisterly anger that all families had.
But in that moment, in that rash second, Petunia had been scared of her sister and the world she lived in. The strike hadn’t been because of Lily’s sarcastic comment. That may be what James had thought set Petunia off, but the sisters knew better. Petunia had hit her because of who she was, what she was…because of magic and spells and a world Petunia was forbidden to have. And there was no going back. They had been treading on thin ice for awhile, but now they had broken through and drowned.
She would be invited to Lily’s wedding, but she wouldn’t go. She would be asked to attend her nieces and nephews’ parties, but she wouldn’t go. When the light finally left her sister’s eyes and she was buried in the ground, Petunia wouldn’t go to the funeral.
They were in different worlds now. Two worlds forever divided. All because of a single slap.
And now as she watched her sister, she was jealous. Jealous because Lily was a witch, because Lily was strong and willful and beautiful. Jealous because James loved Lily in a way Vernon didn’t love her. Jealous because Lily was happy.
And she hated Lily because she hated that she was envious.
From this moment on, life could never go back to the way it was. She stood watching until everything became too much and Petunia retreated to the night where it was only the stars, flowers, and her hatred for herself.
Questioning the Freak and the Whale by Phenioxsong22
Chapter Notes: Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling :)
Chapter Endnotes: Ok, so after months and months of waiting (SORRY!) chapter seven has arrived. It is definitely darker than some of my other chapters, but things are always changing in the Evans's house. Thanks being the wonderful reviewers and readers that you are!