AN: Merry Christmas! Janey is back, due to popular demand. I hope you like this as much as you did “It Unscrews The Other Way” (which I would recommend you read before you read this, things would make more sense that way). Well, remember, anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling, and I am a humble teenage girl, who likes to write. However, Janey is mine. Now, on with what you came here to read ...
(From Minerva McGonagall to Ron and Hermione Weasley)
To the parents or guardians of Jane Molly Weasley,
I am writing to inform you of your daughter’s receiving of a weeks worth of detentions, following an incident on June 1st. Your daughter was using supplies from the known commercial enterprise, “Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes” to terrorize fellow students, predominantly of Slytherin House, on their way from the Herbology Greenhouses after their lesson there.
When asked how she had gained access to the items in question, she insisted that she had purchased them by her own means. However, you may wish to investigate any ways in which she could be being sent them from someone outside school. Namely any connection she may have with the founders of that company (I think you know what I mean, Hermione).
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall,
Headmistress
(From Hermione Weasley to Fred and George Weasley)
Fred, George “
You’ve done it now. Tonight we’re going to have to have a chat.
- Hermione
(Also From Hermione Weasley, but to Janey Weasley, and in Howler form)
JANE MOLLY WEASLEY, YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE THIS TIME! AND SO NEAR YOUR EXAMS, TOO! NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO DETENTION AS WELL AS REVISE, BECAUSE IF YOUR GRADES AREN’T UP TO STANDARD, I WILL NOT BE PLEASED! AND ANOTHER THING: DID YOU GET THOSE SO-CALLED “SUPPLIES” FROM YOUR UNCLES? BECAUSE IF YOU DID, THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! HOW DARE YOU SET THIS KIND OF EXAMPLE TO YOUR BROTHER? HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO SEND A HOWLER?! YOU’RE FATHER WAS HORRIFIED AT IT, BUT I FELT IT WAS MY ONLY CHOICE! CROSS THE LINE AGAIN, AND YOU’LL HAVE A LOT MORE TO ANSWER TO! YOUR EDUCATION IS THE IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW, SO CONCENTRATE ON IT, RATHER THAN TERRORISING OTHER STUDENTS!
(From Fred and George Weasley to Janey Weasley)
~~ From the desk of Mr Fredrick Weasley and Mr George Weasley, of ninety-three, Diagon Alley “ Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes ~~
Janey, our humble apprentice,
Do not be disheartened! A minor howler, and measly WEEK of detentions is nothing! Everyone gets caught sometimes, and you know what? Using a howler is the worst thing dear Hermione could have done to punish you. And there are several reasons for this. Which is why we are writing to you.
Yes, I agree with my brother (we have a reliable Quick Quotes Quill dictating us both; we’re far too lazy, really). I am presuming you laughed about it as we did when we were in your position, rather than slowly turning a particularly unnatural red, like your father did (it would clash with your hair). Oh yes, your father got a howler, too, when he was a young lad. I can’t tell you what he did, but it involves the words “stealing”, “flying car” and “all the way to Hogwarts because he missed the train”. And “second year”. Oh, and “Harry went too, fun was had by all”.
Indeed, brother of mine. Now, as I was trying to say, since you recieved said howler, and in light of the fact that you probably laughed about it, I am guessing that the rest of your school friends laughed too. Anything involving you that makes them laugh is a good thing, as long as you are joining them.
A valuable lesson. Congratulations, by the way. Terrorising Slytherins is fun whether you are caught or not.
As long as you don’t hurt anyone.
Of course.
Because we have morals.
Absolutely. You can speak to Remus if you don’t believe me. Hurting people for fun ends in all manner of near-werewolf-bites, and several-enemies-who-hate-you. We don’t want that. Old Remus is a reluctant teacher of these things, but if we could find a way to get him to spill his juiciest maraudering secrets, so can you!
By “maraudering” my brother is not referring to The Marauders, who made your map, but the activity of maraudering.
That was a pointless thing to mention.
Yes, I imagine it was.
Isn’t this Quick Quotes Quill amazing?
Yes, George. Yes it is.
Wait ... Janey’s going to read this, isn’t she?
Should we start again? And not get sidetracked?
Hmm. No, I don’t think so. Sixth time doesn’t tend to be the charm. And we do have that box load of doxy ears to attend to. They’re beginning to smell that time we charmed the plumbing to spurt mud every time Percy wanted to refresh himself. Let’s just sign off.
Okay.
Yours,
Fred Weasley.
Also yours,
George Weasley.
(From Janey Weasley, to Fred and George Weasley)
Uncles of mine “
Your last letter made me snort in an unladylike manner. But in a good way. And yes, I managed to laugh the howler off. Detention is getting boring, but I don’t mind it too much, and people seem to like me more since then “ they seem to think I’m some kind of martyr, because of the sheer amount of detention I received. I get a cheer, and pats on the back each time I leave the Common Room. It’s like they don’t care that a First Year lost them so many house points.
However, I’m a little out of ideas, and when Mum mentioned my exams, I did get a little worried. And McGonagall gives me that little lecture very often. Should I take a break from my “maraudering” ways?
Appreciating any advice “
Janey
(From Fred and George Weasley to Janey Weasley)
~~ From the desk of Mr Fredrick Weasley and Mr George Weasley, of ninety-three, Diagon Alley “ Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes ~~
Janey,
Do not fret about exams. They’re easy to pass “ at least, the necessary ones are “ and you can revise secretly if it bothers you that much. I recommend a broom cupboard. Also, if you spell-o-tape an ignited wand to the ceiling, it serves as a handy impromptu lighting system. George and I revised separately, however.
Yes. Couldn’t have anyone seeing Fred and I going into dark broom cupboards together, and emerging a sufficient time later. No one can laugh their way out of THAT one.
But don’t let your havoc cease, merely ebb it. Don’t want Professors thinking you have a weak spot around exam time, do we?
As for quick, easy ways of maintaining your reputation at the same time as secretly studying, the immortal words “fire is fun” can be interpreted many different ways. In fact, we have a recipe for a powder which, if poked with a wand, creates a fire-like substance that is actually quite harmless. It’s not been released into the public domain yet, so it could never be traced back to us!
We’ve sent you five boxes. We’ll instruct our owl to deliver them to your dorm, and then take the letter to you, so as not to bring attention to yourself. For future reference, this method of smuggling will be referred to as “Operation Delilah”.
Delilah?
Yes, George, and yes, Janey, “Operation Delilah”. You may want to remember that.
Janey, you may also want to DESTROY THIS LETTER as soon as you have memorised the above, erm, “code”. Wouldn’t want it falling into the wrong hands, would we?
For future reference, destroying our letters because they could be used as incriminating evidence will be referred to as “Operation Mildred”.
Uh ... yes.
Yours,
George Weasley
What’s wrong with “Operation Mildred”? Oh, never mind.
Yours,
Fred Weasley
(From Ron Weasley to Janey Weasley)
Janey,
Your mother was “ and still is - fuming. I’m sorry about the howler, because I know it can be ... uncomfortable when your mother’s disembodied voice is screeching at you, and the whole school is watching. Not that I ever got one, of course.
What I’m trying to say, is that you should maybe tone things down a little for your mother’s sake. She worries that you are throwing away your education, and you’ll end up working in your uncles joke shop, with no husband or friends, spending all of your time locked away, exploding things in the name of invention.
I must say, I don’t entirely agree, but respect her opinions, and as your father, I think you may want to try a little harder, at least around exam time. Sorry.
David misses you, and looks forward to when he can go to Hogwarts as well. You know he idolises you, and if he decided to follow your disrespect for the more unimportant rules, I think your mother may break down and cry. Again.
Just think about it, okay? I’m not asking you to become one of those Muggle women who wear black robes, and those funny hats, and never break rules. I think they’re called nans, but I could be wrong. All I’m asking is that you try to pass your exams well, and prove how bright you really are. For your mother’s sake, at least?
Dad
P.S. But at least it was Slytherins you terrorised, so I’m not as annoyed as I suppose I ought to be.
(From Janey Weasley to Hermione Weasley)
Mum,
I’m sorry I
I’ll try in the exams, and I’ll do my best. It will be hard, but I know I should try and at least get an above average, and I’m pretty sure I’m capable. Except maybe in Potions. Ever since I accidently burnt down the dungeons that time, I've lost all confidence in my abilities.
I miss you, Mum. Dad and David, too. Call him a munchkin from me. (David, not Dad).
Janey x
(From Minerva McGonagall to Ron and Hermione Weasley)
To the parents or guardians of Jane Molly Weasley,
I am writing to inform you of your daughter’s receiving of another weeks worth of detentions, following an incident on June 16th. Coincidentally, the incident occurred immediately after the exams were officially over. Your daughter was using a substance that is as yet unidentified, to create something that resembled fire. However, it did not seem to be capable of actually causing any damage, other than mass panic.
When asked how she had gained access to the substance in question, which we believed to be a powder that can be manipulated, into this “fake fire”, she insisted that it was using “Operation Delilah”. If this means anything to you, or you can find out what exactly this is a code for, we would appreciate your help in getting to the bottom of this.
I must say, I was surprised at your daughter. I thought she had seen the errors of her ways, for she had been unusually quiet during her examination period. Suspiciously quiet, some seemed to think, and I suppose it turns out that they were, indeed, correct in this assumption. However, she is a bright enough girl, and I wouldn’t worry about her grades. I must say, I am pleased that she seems to have at least an inkling of respect for her education.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall,
Headmistress
(A fragment from Ron Weasley to Harry Potter)
Harry “
You’ll never guess what Janey just did “ talk about perfect timing! That girl has cheek, and it makes me so proud ...
AN: Hurrah! What did you think? Better? Worse? Equal? Let me know! Also, check out the third in the series, Everybody Loves Janey Weasley!
BN: Mwahaha!! This is Twizzle_loves_Lupin, and I’m here to say that if you don’t review I will be very mad. And not read your stories, no matter how much you beg me. So there! By the way, Pussycat, this is great, keep writing!!