Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter series. I do not own Doritos, though I like to eat them. I don’t own the chicken dance.
So I sit down next to Ron. He gives me this concerned look, and then pays attention to Flitwick. For once, he’s paying attention and now is the worst time. I groan at him. He’s still eating those Doritos.
“What’d I do now?” he asks. He’s giving me that look. Y’know the one you get when you’re yelling at someone for doing the right thing. I look from his face to his Doritos bag, and back to his face. “What? You don’t like these things? They’re great! Try one!!” he holds the bag out to me and I shudder. Unluckily for me, Malfoy and one of his goddamned cronies are sitting behind me. So now they know. Great. How torturous are they going to be to me? I can’t concentrate on our advanced cheering charms, though I could use one right now.
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Today, November 1st, is going perfectly. Really it is. NOT. Malfoy just met me in the hall. If I don’t lose our quidditch match tomorrow, he’s going to tell the entire school about my Doritos fear! Screw that. I’m not letting that ego eccentric freak win. First I forget about quiddich starting early. Now this? AAAHHHHHHH! Oh, about quiddich, a happy dance for me, I’m captain!! Tryouts were held last week. Ron’s still the keeper. I’m still the seeker. Ginny is a chaser along with Alana Spinnet, Alicia’s younger sister, and Molly Etalon. I had to get rid of the oafs that were on the team last year for beaters. The replacements are Eric Leland and James Millings. Yup you guessed it, Jon’s brother. Hopefully growing out of geekiness runs in the family. I walk to the common room, seeing as it is Friday and I don’t have a class. The afternoon is free for students today. I found Ron. I put a charm on myself to make me sound like Hermione, we learned it last year.
“Ronald Weasley!” I say, screaming at him. The voice is weird coming from my mouth, but seeing Ron’s expression is way worth it.
“What’d I do now?” Ron whines “stop yelling at me!” he turns around as he says this. When he doesn’t see Hermione he freaks out. “OHMIGOD what happened? Harry? I thought Hermione said something!”
“I did.” I tell him. Then he starts freaking out. Again. I take the charm off my self and begin to laugh.
“Is a heart attack all I get from my best friend?” he says to me.
“Yep.” I say back. I run up our dormitory laughing still as he follows, cursing and throwing things at me. I get my broom and fly out the window. He reminds me of his mother, because he’s waggling his finger at me out the window now.
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Those Doritos are really getting to me. I’m thinking about asking Dumbledore to let me murder their yummy cheesiness! I MUST I MUST I MUST!! But whatever. They’re freaking me out and they need to die! Shall I ask? Yes I shall. I ponder this as I walk alone to Potions. I am late again.
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Well that went well. *Flash back* I’m walking to Dumbledore’s office and I call to him. Sounds all like, slash-y and pedophile-y but it’s not.
“Professor,” I start.
“What is it Harry?” he asks.
“Can you take Doritos out of the snack machine?”
“I’m afraid not Harry. Why don’t you like them, they are quite delightful, try one!” He holds out the bag to me and I scream and try to run away. “Calm down Harry. Why don’t you like them?” he asks me. I relive the horror of the burnt chip, the screaming and even the lightning.
“I see your point Harry, but still I cannot take them out.” he tells me.
“Why not?” I ask him.
“Because, Harry, it is ever so delightful to see Professor Snape do the chicken dance whenever he eats them.” the twinkle in his eye makes me laugh even more than the sentence itself. He walks with me down to dinner which is where I am now. *End of flash back*
I’m eating dinner with Hermione, Ron, and Neville and we’re doing what we normally do talking. Or in Ron’s case stuffing our mouths full of food. Neville’s actually being social, it’s about time, we’re six effing teen for god’s sake. What the hell? Malfoy is walking towards the head table. He’s wearing a monkey suit, but you can still see his platinum blonde hair. He’s making monkey sounds at us. So we laugh our heads off! Now he’s giving us his stupid little glare, but who cares? Lightning crashes, filling the Great Hall with a momentarily eerie light.
“Would you fuck a british man to hear him go ‘oh, oh’?” Malfoy asked us. More laughter. “Did I just say that?”
“Yes Malfoy.” I say through my laughter.
“Well, what I mean is that Harry Potter is scared of DORITOS!!” he yells to us. The laughing is directed at me now, and they’re all shoving Doritos at me so I’m running. 3…2…1 GO!
Authors Note: Hey I know this is short but so is the last chapter, which is REALLY short. I hope you enjoyed my fanfic!