PART TWO
September 1st
I’m on the train right now, back to school I go. Harry, Hermione, and I have a compartment to ourselves… never mind… scratch that! Here comes Neville. He drives me insane! I know I pretend to be his friend, but, gosh, he’s so annoying! Those chubby cheeks and those messed up teeth! AHHHHHH! He’s so freakin’ annoying!
September 13th
Someone’s been following me. I don’t know who but I know someone is… I can feel it. I know they don’t think I know that they know that I know. Wait…does that make sense? Sorry I was trying to be cool. Okay, whatever, guess not.
How many guys keep diaries… I mean secret files! Well whoever doesn’t is a cotton headed ninnie muggins! HA! Whatcha got to say to that? Sorry I know I’m a loser, but at least I have my own secret file!
September 20th
Guess who the bloody person who is following me is? DEAN THOMAS! I always knew he liked me! Come to think of it…I’ve always known I liked him. AHHH! Did I just write that? Bloody hell! Ewwww! What if he sees this? Wait…he can’t see it… it’s a SECRET file! He could still get it somehow. Gosh, why am I being such an idiot! I’m a wizard, I can use magic to keep that son of a wizard’s hat away! No way he’s getting into this! SUCKER! I’m good…oh yeah…beat that….
September 25th
Oh my! Guess what? I heard Hermione say ‘Bye Professor’ to McGonagall! How stupid is she? You don’t talk to a teacher! Wait! This is Hermione Granger we are talking about! I’m so stupid, she’s stupid, Harry’s stupid, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle are stupid! Heck! We’re all stupid!
September 29th
I was in the bathroom today, (doing my business) and I looked down and saw something that made me jump. I nearly blew up the loo! Holy crap, it was wicked scary! I felt like a giant spider was attacking my butt. Then I looked down AGAIN and saw something so small I needed a microscope to see it! It was as small as like…I don’t know. I guess that its that time. You know that time. *Nudge Nudge Wink Wink* NO! Not that time! That’s for girls! No well I don’t know what time, but I am going through a time! Whatever!
October 2nd
Today is Wednesday! I love Wednesday! You know what that means? I don’t know! I made a shirt that says ‘I heart Wednesday’ and I wear it under all my clothes. You know what else I love? Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! And not just any flavor bean thought. I like the earwax flavor! It reminds me of Dumbledude…um…I mean Dumbledore. I love that guy! He’s so cool. I’m thinking about growing a beard like his. Do you think I’d get more chicks that way? I hope so.
October 3rd
Do you know why I have been acting so weird lately? I don’t know, I think those stupid house elves are drugging my pumpkin juice! Those bloody things!
October 20th
Halloween is 11 days away! That means a feast! I love those house elves! They cook the best food! Apart from my mummy’s cooking of course. Fred and George have been giving the first years a problem. They keep testing their products on them. It’s wicked funny! It scares those little midgets into next week. I do NOTHING to stop those twins. I just sit back and watch. I know I should try to control them, but its just so funny. Hermione gets ticked though. She’s so hot. And with that I leave you here…under my pillow.
October 25th
Tonight I was in the common room and I was kind of drowsy. (I’ve been studying a lot). I saw a really cute girl sitting on the couch all by herself. I went over and sat close to her and then I put my arm around her. Then I said ‘Hey cutie.’ She stared at me and kept staring. She never said anything. I moved away from her a little. When I looked back over at her I saw…HARRY! (yes, Harry, Harry Potter) I blinked and then I was Harry again! Blink- Harry, Blink- Harry, Blink- Harry, Blink- Harry, Blink- Harry, Blink- Harry! I suddenly realized that was no girl”it was Harry! I screamed! I kept screaming. I was horrified. I screamed some more. Then I went and sat in the corner rocking back and forth, whimpering like and insane person. “Ron, are you okay?” Harry said to me completely cool. He wasn’t the least bit bothered. I looked up, my eyes grew wide. “It’s okay, mate, just PLEASE, don’t ever do that again, please,” He said. “Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey?” he continues on. “NO!…Yeah,” I replied.