She stood there, watching him. She watched him be adored and loved, but not by her. Harry was being adored by his fans, not her.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong you made right
Ginny couldn’t stand it. She loved Harry so much, so much. But it couldn’t happen. Harry was famous and had a fantastic destiny awaiting him. Ginny, she wasn’t special. Ginny, she was poor. A poor family with nothing to give.
The tear that was fighting to escape finally reached its goal and ran down her face. She liked the feel of it. Ginny liked the feel of the tear, like the sadness was leaving her through it. But when she looked back at him, it all came back. The years of simple puppy love, giving up on him, and a brief relationship. More tears came, and these, she didn’t like.
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
She gave him one last glance, and turned away slowly. Walking away from him, Ginny trudged along the street. She ducked into an alley and sat down on the damp ground.
It was dark, and lonely. Her mind wandered to a similar scenario a few months ago…
~**************~
Ginny sat alone in her room. Her knees were brought up against her chest, held by her arms. As the tears grew in quantity, her head felt heavier and heavier. It felt so heavy, she just laid on her side on her bed, her knees still on her chest.
She wanted someone to come and comfort her, like her mom used to. But Molly wasn’t around. No one was. They all decided to help themselves rather than those who can’t do it. No one had spoken to her since their deaths. In fact, no one spoke to anyone.
Ron would help her, if he were there. Hermione would help her, if she were around. But they weren’t. They were gone. Dead.
In a fight, Hermione was the main target; she was directly in the line of fire. Ron couldn’t leave her like that. He gave his life to save her. In vain. A few days later, she killed herself.
Molly had made herself scarce. She hid away in her room all the time, coming out only to use the bathroom or to pay a visit to Ron’s room for the umpteenth time that day. Arthur stayed in the room with her, trying to soothe her, and crying over the old pictures and other memorabilia with her. Fred and George stayed in the shop, and came by very few times, almost never. Bill stayed with Fleur at their house and Charlie never wrote from Romania.
That left her. Her and Harry. But Harry was in mourning too. At least, that’s what she thought. What else could he be doing? His two best friends, the ones who he’d do anything for and who’d do anything for him, the ones he loved more than anything, the ones who had rescued him and made him feel like he was special after all those years of being bullied, they were dead. What else could he do, but mourn?
As she thought of her family, and how they could comfort themselves, she decided to comfort herself as well. Go to Ron’s room, go through his stuff, the memories will come back, they will help her.
As she straightened herself, she heard the doorknob turn. Someone was entering her room. And they didn’t knock? Curious.
“Who’s there?” she whispered. It was all she could do with such a huge lump in her throat.
“Ginny?” came the hoarse voice of a person she knew so well. But the voice had been broken, it was no longer smooth. Melancholy had changed it. “I thought…I didn’t know you were in here.” Harry stepped inside her room.
“What do you want in my room?”
“I just…I, um, not sure actually,” he said, scratching his head and chuckling slightly. Though it was forced.
“Go away.” Ginny lay on her bed again and turned her back to him.
“What?”
“Go away! I don’t want you here!” She was now sitting up straight, shouting at him, and tears were like a waterfall.
“Ginny, what’s wrong with you?” Harry seemed worried now and he was inching toward her.
“What’s wrong with me? Are you crazy?! The same thing that’s wrong with you, and everyone else! Ron and Hermione are dead! They’re gone. So are Sirius, Dumbledore, Tonks, Percy, and Kingsley! The whole Order is in mourning, my whole family is in mourning, and Lupin has to be followed around by Moody because everyone is afraid he’ll try to kill himself again! That’s what’s wrong with me!”
Ginny slid off the bed and rolled into a ball on the floor. She stained the ground with her grief.
“Ginny,” he whispered as he knelt beside her. His voice was no longer hoarse, but soft and kind as usual.
Harry sat on the floor, picked her up and placed her on his lap. She snuggled her head under his chin and he ran his fingers through her fiery hair.
~**************~
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through it all
Ginny fiddled with the hem of her jacket. That memory hurt her. Badly. It reminded her exactly how many she had lost. Ron, Sirius, Dumbledore, Tonks, Percy, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. All lost to Voldemort. Ron stopped Hermione from being hit by…it hurt her to even think who had done it, Sirius was killed by Bellatrix Lestrange, Dumbledore by Snape, Tonks in battle, Percy by Lucius, Kingsley in battle. Hermione and Remus were lost as well, but not to Voldemort. At least, not directly.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
“I’m going home,” she told herself. Ginny stood up and patted off her clothes. She closed her eyes and vanished.
She arrived in the middle of a messy living room on a dirty flat. The walls were gray and bare, cracking and mouldy. The floor was an even mouldier carpet. On it were papers. Newspapers. Mostly the Daily Prophet obituaries.
In the past month, familiar names were erased from life. Hannah Abbot, schoolmate, Horace Slughorn, former professor, Parvati and Padma Patil, schoolmates, Madam Rosmerta, friendly bartender, Seamus Finnigan, schoolmate, and countless others. She spent too many hours crying over those articles, it was hard to believe she still had tears. No one was ever there to help ease the pain.
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me
Ginny made her way to the kitchen, where she left her purse on the counter, and sat in a chair by the window. Three stories up, she could see the cars zooming on the black road that glimmered from the rain. She could see people walking on the sidewalks, entering and exiting buildings on the opposite side, and just standing there, stiff, looking around them.
Ginny’s eyes were downcast. She was looking at the sidewalk in front of her building, but she wasn’t seeing it. Something bright orange darted just under her range of view. She sat up straight to get better look.
A young man, around her age was looking up. Directly at the sky. Ginny recognized who it was and gasped. Tears ran down again. Ron. Her older brother Ron. Her brother was looking at the sky, transfixed, he looked as if he were…in love.
Ginny upturned her face to look at the sky as well. What she saw made her collapse out of her chair. Hermione. Hermione’s face was painted on the starry sky. She was looking downward. At Ron.
Ginny felt their love. Her brother and friend were in love, and she could feel their love. It made her heart feel light, as if it were floating.
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
Ginny got up again to look at them. But when she looked out of the window, they weren’t there. On the sidewalk, no Ron. The sky was full of stars, but was virtually Hermione-free.
The Weasley girl, whisking away tears, ran into her room and plopped herself on her bed. Crying into her pillow, Ginny fell asleep.
“Harry’s a good lad, you know.”
A voice, kind, awoke her. It came from the opposite side of the room. She recognized it, but from a far off memory. A voice she hadn’t heard for many, way too many, years.
Ginny sat up on her bed and looked at the skinny, gaunt man intruding in her room.
“And he loves you very much,” said Sirius Black.
“Sirius?” she whispered. “Is that you?”
“Oh, Ginny,” he chuckled. “How you’ve changed. If I remember correctly, you were always annoyed how your brother, Ron, would taunt you. He would say that Harry should watch out if you ever got together with a boy, Cole something.”
Ginny smiled fondly at the memory. “Collin. Collin Creevey.”
“Ah, yes. Well, he would say that you would make a Harry Potter fan club.”
Ginny chuckled. “Yes.” Then she realized something. Sirius turns up in her bedroom after being dead for several years, and talks about Collin Creevey. Something was missing. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Oh, Ginny. I must say, I am disappointed. I remember you were turning into a girl much like your twin brothers. Mischievous and cunning. Being the marauder that I am, I was rather fond of that part of you. But you have a point, I am not making myself clear. Do you remember those times when Ron warned of Collin? Well, do you remember what he would always do every time Ron said that?”
Ginny frowned in confusion and shook her head.
“He would blush. The sign of embarrassment. But why would he be ashamed of that? Love. He loved you.”
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this must be true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
Ginny shut her eyes before the tears could overcome her. When she opened them again, Sirius was gone.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me
“I’m losing my mind!” she yelled at the empty room. Ron, who is dead, turns up on the sidewalk and looks up at Hermione, who is dead, in the sky. Then, she comes into her room and finds Sirius, who is dead, talking to her about her love life.
“What next?” She crossed her legs on the bed and buried her face in her hands.
“What next, indeed.”
Another voice, more recent and more familiar than Sirius’.
Without bringing up her face she asked, “Professor, what is going on? Why am I being visited by dead people?”
“Death,” said Albus. “You say you have been visited by dead people today Miss Weasley? Are you sure?”
Ginny was now facing Dumbledore. She was too accustomed to Dumbledore’s strange philosophical views to be confused.
“Miss Weasley, I happen to know for a fact that you witnessed your brother Ronald again, did you not?”
Ginny nodded.
“And Miss Granger?”
Again, she nodded.
“And of course, beloved Mr. Black. But are they dead? Are they really?”
Ginny thought about it for a moment, and, considering Dumbledore’s famous words, made her decision.
“No,” she replied. “They are not dead.”
“Would you mind explaining?”
“I love Ron, and Hermione, and Sirius, who can’t love him?” she said, chuckling. “Those who we love and who love us never truly leave us.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” he said, smiling, and with the familiar twinkle in his blue eyes.
“Now, sir, I understand why Sirius came, I don’t understand why I saw Ron and Hermione, but why are you here?”
“Well, Miss Weasley, I am here for the same reason the others were. To help you realize your feelings. Do you understand your feelings?”
Ginny thought a moment again. She thought about Harry. How did she feel about him? She remembered the first time she saw him, on Platform 9 and ¾, when she was ten. She didn’t know who he was then, but when Fred and George told her, it was all she wanted to do, look at him. And a year after that, at breakfast in the Burrow.
And fifth year, the kiss. The relationship.
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
“No, I don’t. I don’t understand my feelings. But how are you going to help me with that?”
Dumbledore stepped closer to the bed. “May I?” he asked, motioning to the empty space next to her.
“Oh,” she moved slightly to give him more room. “Of course.”
Dumbledore smiled appreciatively and sat next to her. “You want to know how I am to help you. Let me explain. Harry is a special boy, no, man. I trust you know that?”
Ginny looked at the floor. Harry was special. For innumerable reasons. She nodded.
“Yes, everyone knows he is special. But to every individual, he I special for a different reason. Let me give you a few examples. Do you remember Rufus Scrimgeour?”
She nodded again.
“Harry was special to him because he made the public feel more assured. Sirius, to Sirius, Harry was a beautiful reminder of a long-lost friendship. Ronald, he always felt inferior to his brothers, and you as well, but Harry, taking him on all sorts of adventures and always helping him, Harry made him feel important. Hermione, intelligent, successful, loyal, honest. She is all those good things, yes, but she was also bossy, to many insufferable, and also a bit of a show-off.” He chuckled and so did Ginny. “But Harry, being a good friend to her, and also taking her on wild adventures, changed her. She is less insufferable because Harry had such a great influence in her life.”
A light in the dark, shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
“Voldemort too.”
Ginny gave him a deeply perplexed look.
“Yes, amazing as it sounds, Harry is special to Voldemort. The only one who can defeat him, the only one who ever stood up to him…and won. Harry is special to Voldemort. But he is also special to you.”
Ginny knew what Dumbledore meant, but didn’t want to admit it. “Harry is a good friend. He always was. He saved me from the Chamber, I fought with him in the Department of Mysteries, and the year after that…”
“Yes, before my tragic accident, you and Harry were more…close to each other. I believe you both…fell in love?”
Ginny snapped her head up so fast she cricked her neck. “Fell in love? I think that’s an overstatement.”
“I don’t believe so. But, during my service, something far more tragic happened.”
“Now, that’s an overstatement. We just broke up. No big deal.”
“Why did he leave you like he did?”
Ginny’s thoughts went back to those many years ago, at the funeral of the same man who sat beside her. Harry had told her it couldn’t go on. If it did, Ginny would be in terrible danger, and he couldn’t live with himself if she got hurt and it was his fault.
“He didn’t want me to be in danger. He said that if we went on with the relationship, Voldemort would come after me because I mean so much to him.” She sobbed.
“Did you agree with that decision?”
“Of course not! I love Harry! And I don’t care if someone comes after me because of me!” She stood up in indignation. “Let them! I don’t care! It’s them who will be sorry if they even try to touch me!”
“I doubt truer words have ever been spoken. And you might not care, but Harry certainly did. After that, what happened?”
Ginny cried. Harder and harder. “He-he left. H-Hogwarts. He left Hogwarts to f-fight. He fought with R-Ron and Hermione. They joined the O-Order and forgot about m-me!”
“They did no such thing. When Harry wasn’t in battle, or planning his next move with the Order, he spent every waking and sleeping moment thinking about you. Right now, he is thinking about you.”
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
A bloodcurdling scream cam from outside and Ginny ran to the window. The tears didn’t matter, as if they weren’t even there.
Outside on the street people were screaming, running, some were lying face down on the road, still and stiff, not moving as if…dead. Ginny was too high up to see their expressions, but it was obvious that they were afraid, and innocent.
Suddenly, a green blast shot out of nowhere and hit the side of the building in front of hers. Dust and fragments blew out and people screamed louder.
“I have to get out there!” Ginny whipped out her wand and made for the door, but when she got there, Dumbledore blocked her way. “Professor! I need to help! Someone is using the Avada Kedavra!”
“I know. And you will help, but first I shall tell you something else. First, Harry needs you. My visit and Sirius’ visit, are to tell you that Harry is fighting this war alone, and he cannot win. Not without you. Second, Ronald and Hermione’s visits are not over. And third, close your eyes.”
Ginny couldn’t understand. People were dying and all her wise old mentor could say was ‘close your eyes’? “Sir!”
“Close them,” he repeated kindly.
Ginny wanted to protest, but Dumbledore’s voice and eyes told her it was a direct order that could not be neglected. She shut her eyelids and stood still.
“Now,” said Dumbledore. “Wake up!”
Ginny awoke in her kitchen. She was sitting down on the chair next to the window and the glass was serving as her pillow. The cold window was dotted with glittering water droplets. It was raining.
“It was a dream. I was dreaming. Ron wasn’t there, neither was Hermione. Nor Sirius nor Dumbledore. It was all a dream.” She smiled. Nothing had happened.
She spied a box of Bertie Bott’s Beans on a counter some few feet away. Getting up, leaning, and stretching her arm, Ginny grabbed the box. She sat back down and ate them, not caring about the odd flavours she put in her mouth.
“Help! Help!”
Someone was screaming outside. Just like in her dream. The Bertie Bott’s Beans box slipped out of her fingers and the colourful candies were strewn over the kitchen floor. People were running, frightened. They were running away from something. A blast, exactly the same as in her dream, came shooting out of nowhere.
“Oh, please tell me I’m dreaming again!” But she knew she wasn’t. This was real, and it was happening right outside her front door.
She looked down again, this time at the sidewalk in front of her building. A young man was standing. Instead of running, he was looking in the direction from where everyone was coming from. Another green blast shot at him, but he jumped backward just in time so the blast hit a nearby trash bin. It toppled over, shooting refuse everywhere.
But when the blast had sot past the man, Ginny had seen his illuminated face. Harry. Harry was down there, and he was in danger. Without thinking twice, Ginny jumped out of the chair and pulled out her wand.
She completely forgot about Apparition and ran to the front door. But before she turned the knob, she heard a scream. A loud, cold screech that made her whole body freeze and the hairs on the back of her neck prickle up.
She knew who had screamed, and she knew why. She didn’t know how she knew, she just did. It felt as though an empty feeling just dropped onto her and her heart was breaking right there and then. Her limbs felt sore and weak, she couldn’t support her own weight. She dropped to her knees, and let her head fall onto the mouldy carpet. Her red hair fell around her like a fiery halo, and as the tears flew out of her eyes, it became a wet, salty halo on fire.
“Harry!” she wailed, her voice muffled.
Even though she knew it was true, she had to see it. Picking herself up slowly, Ginny turned the knob and opened the door. Taking the steps tow at a time, she ran as fast as she could. Down, down, down, down. She didn’t care how sore and heavy her legs felt, she just wanted to know that she was wrong. Harry was still alive, she was wrong, he wasn’t dead. Harry wasn’t gone.
She knew that couldn’t happen. The empty feeling was too much. It told her everything.
Ginny reached the bottom step. In front of her was a glass door. Outside, rain was falling on the road, battering against the door, spraying on a dark lump. The lump was motionless. It just lay there, silent and unmoving…like the grave.
Ginny had inkling as to what it was, but was hoping with all her might that she was wrong.
Bursting through the front door, she stood in the rain, watching the lump. Hoping it would move, hoping it would stand up, walk towards her, hold her, and kiss her. But it didn’t. It just lay there. Motionless. Lifeless. Dead.
Running toward the lump, Ginny knelt down next to it, and she already knew what it was.
A person. A man. On his side. A stick was under his hand. His hand, wide open, on top of the perfectly straight stick. She picked it up. Not the wand, but the hand. She held his hand, close to her chest, close to her heart.
“Oh, Harry,” she sobbed.
She turned him, and put him on his back. Touching his soft cheek gently. It was wet. Wet and cold. Cold as ice. “Goodbye, Harry.”
Looking around her, Ginny felt lost. Lost and alone. Just like she had that day in her room. Before Harry had come in, and made her feel better.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
“Hello, Ginny.”
Another voice. So familiar. So familiar. Oh, how she loved to hear that voice again. It was Ron.
Turning her head, she saw her brother, but not alone. Hermione was next to him.
“Hi, Gin,” she said. Ginny was surprised to see a tear on her cheek.
“Ron? Hermione?” she whispered. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t you remember what Dumbledore told you?” asked Ron.
“Our visit isn’t over,” continued Hermione. “We’re here to help you.”
Ginny felt lost again. “Why? Harry’s gone. And even though I love him, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone and I’ll never be able to tell him.”
“You sure about that?” said another voice. This one was behind her. Where Harry was. It was Harry’s voice. She spun and looked down at his body. It hadn’t moved. Ginny realized Harry’s eyes were open. She turned down the lids gently. He should be dead with some dignity. But where had the voice come from?
Kneeling, opposite Ginny, on Harry’s bodie's other side, looking at her lovingly, was Harry.
“Harry?”
“I came over here, wanting to tell you something.” He motioned to Ginny’s building. “I saw you.”
Ginny was confused. What did he mean by that?
“Back in Diagon Alley. I saw you looking at me, surrounded by them.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “You mean your fans?” She said it choked, and a bit cooler than she had wanted.
“Ginny, that’s not like you. I thought you, of all people, knew I hadn’t asked for all of that. It wasn’t my fault.” He sounded hurt.
Ginny hung her head. Ron knelt next to her and Hermione on the other side.
“You have changed Ginny,” said Ron. “You aren’t the fun, merry and joyful little squirt you once were.” At any other time, this would sound like a funny, brotherly thing to say. But it wasn’t. It was a fact. Ginny had changed. And not for the better.
“When you two left,” she sobbed, “I kinda lost myself. I felt so bloody alone. I couldn’t go on. Harry tried to help me,” she looked at him, “but I bet he felt the same way. He wasn’t the Harry I used to know.”
Now Harry hung his head.
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
“I’m so sorry!” wailed Hermione. She buried her face in her hands and wept.
“Hermione,” soothed Ron. He laid a hand on her shoulder.
“The knife,” she cried. “It was right there. In my hands. I remembered Draco, and what he did to you Ron. The knife was in my hands. I thought about you, and I couldn’t stand it.”
She brought her hands up, holding an imaginary knife. “I just thought about you, how you died, why you died and I… I just…” She brought her hands down and punched herself in the stomach with them, piercing her abdomen with the imaginary blade.
“Everyone,” said Ginny, “everyone is gone. And one of them is my fault.”
Ron looked at her skeptically. “What do you mean by that? You didn’t kill anyone.”
“I know. But before Draco shot you, I was…fighting him. If I had stopped him, you wouldn’t have died, and neither would have Hermione.” Ginny laid her head on Harry’s unmoving chest and cried.
“That doesn’t mean it was your fault,” comforted her brother.
“Well, I can’t live with it!”
Now the three dead people looked frightened.
“Ginny, what are you talking about?” asked Harry, worry in his throat and face.
“I’m going with you. Wherever that may be.” She had made up her mind.
“No Ginny!” they screamed together.
“Don’t do it,” said Harry.
Hermione cried. “Ginny, no.”
“Don’t even think about that!” commanded Ron.
“Ginny,” said Hermione, calmer now, “if you go, who will fight Voldemort? No one is left! You can do it Ginny. But you can’t if you’re dead.”
“I don’t care! Without you guys, that victory, if I even achieve it, won’t mean anything to me. Harry, I love you.”
Harry’s eyes softened and a smile played on the corners of his mouth. But it was a sad smile.
“And the sooner I’m with you, the better. Ron, you’re my brother. I love you too and I want to be with you as well. Hermione, I’m nothing without my best friend to guide me.”
Ron and Hermione managed to smile at her. But those were sad as well.
Harry spoke up; his voice was cracked as if he were going to cry. “Are you sure about this Ginny?”
Ginny gave it a last, brief thought. Nothing changed. “Definitely.”
Without waiting for more protests, Ginny laid Harry’s arm down in its original position and rolled out the other arm on the street. Laying down next to him, and placing her head gently in a comfortable position on his shoulder, she shifted her arm so she could point at her chest with her wand.
“You really have changed Ginny,” whispered Harry. Ron and Hermione stood up and walked around Harry’s body to kneel next to him.
Ginny smiled and choked back her tears. “I blame you.”
After she said her two final words, her last vision alive was the one of her brother, best friend, and sweetheart, their faces glowing green from the spell.
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me
~*********************************************************************~
A/N: This sort of reminds me of 'The Sixth Sense'. "I see dead people." But this is Harry Potter, which makes it so much better.
Because You Loved Me by ravenclawhero
Chapter Notes: Before, I wrote this when I found the lyrics, but never heard the song. Well, I heard it, and I think it's beautiful!!! Disclaimer: I am not JKR :' ( So I don't own any of this. And I'm not Celine Dion either, so the song isn't mine either.