The cold moist air rushed into my lungs as I waited. I sat quietly, watching the mists carefully for any sign that they were coming. I had felt when I set off for this fetid little place that I was on a wild goose chase; it was a chance in a million that they would show. Now I knew it to be true. The Dark Lord had just sent me here to be rid of me for a short while. Who wanted a boy to do their bidding anyways?
That was what they called me. A boy. It was always, ‘Do this, boy, do that, boy.’ I found myself infuriated by the simple word that I felt was not meant for me. It was demeaning, as though I was not a man like them, so I would not be treated like one. I suppose I would not want to be treated as a man by them, sadistically insane people they were. Then again, I should have expected that when I joined the Dark Lord’s ranks. I had seen what they did to the Muggles at the Quidditch World Cup. I believe I should have been wary after that, but I was an incorrigible child with only one thought on my mind. “They must have done something to deserve it.” Now I know that all they did was simply the fact that they were born.
“Damn,” I cursed as I felt the dampness leak into my shoes. It wasn’t long until the cold muck I was standing in infiltrated the soft, once clean leather of my sneakers as well. I breathed a heavy sigh and leaned against the tree I hid behind. “It’s not like I had a choice,” I said to no one in particular, “It was join or die.”
“Do you not think it would have been better to die?” A voice laden with the ages said. I jumped up.
“Who’s there?” I asked uneasily. A chuckle resonated in the mist. Or rather, it sounded as though two chuckles were combined as one. I looked around for the source, but saw none. Not even a dark shadow in the mist to betray a weary traveller toying with my mind. “I said, who’s there?” I called out to the empty road. I struggled with my fear for a moment, but then forced it back in where I could hide it away from watchful eyes.
“You should not bother with that neat little human trick young man. At least, do not bother with me. I can see everything in your head whether or not you do, even the deep thoughts you do not know you have. The memories. The next steps in your life.” I thought I glimpsed a man, walking towards me in the mist. He looked quite ordinary and I pulled out my wand to strike him down, but he disappeared before I could mutter even the slightest spell. “Nor will that trick work, child.”
“I’m not a child,” I roared angrily. I walked out into the middle of the road and looked around for him. “I’m not a child,” I said again with more pout than anger, knowing full well that I sounded like one.
“I will not add insult to injury by voicing those thoughts aloud,” said the voice, and I had the sneaking suspicion he was right next to me. “You should know that you did have a choice, Draco. You still do. You do not have to wait here pathetically until the three you were sent here to kill come along. In fact, you do not even need to kill them at all.” And then he was there beside me. His face looked far too much like Dumbledore’s for my liking, the long beard covering his smiling face and those twinkling eyes looking out. I muttered ‘go away’ to him, though I was sure he wouldn’t here. Surprisingly he turned and marched away. To my horror, I found a head facing me still.
“Who are you?” I asked, unable to block the terror from my voice. The second face curled upward in a smile as he walked towards me once again.
“My name is Janus,” he said gently, and I felt myself shiver slightly. I tried to remember the name: was it in Divination or History of Magic that I had learned it? I was not sure. “I am the god of doors and beginnings,” he said lightly, and my head buzzed in recognition, though from where I could begin to postulate.
“You do not have to become a murderer Draco, but now there is no one to step in to take the fall for you. If you do not kill them, Snape will not step in to save you this time. No one is here to protect you. Death is not in your life’s journey yet, neither yours, nor your killings of others. We all die eventually, but it is not your time, nor is it there’s. But it is if you choose it to be so. All is not as fate deems it to be. It is your choices that change fate, not a god or creature of sorts. In fact, I intervened fate as we speak. And all I’ve done is tell you that you do have a choice.”
And then he was gone, leaving me all alone in this dreary place with nothing but a choice.