My Prison by allura mystique
Chapter Notes: Okay, I don't own anything, it's all JKR's. Now then, this is a poem about Sirius' thoughts remebering the day he was sent to Azkaban.
My prison,
My life,
They are one
And the same.
But I thought
I'd escaped
When I ran away.
The years that passed
Were nothing but
Temporary
Vacation—
An illusion,
False hope that I
Had forever escaped
My prison.
I couldn’t see then
My prison was
Indeed life itself,
For nothing good could
Ever last within
My own black life.
I was given
False good fortune:
A Hogwarts
Graduation,
Best man on
My friend’s best day,
A godchild
I loved dearly.
I couldn’t see all
Would be taken away
By who I thought
Was my true friend—
The rat, he did
Betray me.
But not just me;
Who cares about me?
He killed my
Only family.
I’d been impulsive
All my life;
I never thought
About decisions.
When rage stung
At my heart
And tears burned
My eyes,
I thought only of revenge.
I kissed my
Godchild goodbye,
Looked back once
At James’ blank face;
A rush of sadness
Beyond compare—
As a father,
I would take his place.
I’d go and hunt down
Pettigrew;
Then, of course,
Return to Harry.
But no, the rat
Had fooled me again.
He framed me
Without pity.
The street exploded,
Voices screamed;
I knew that
Many had died.
The rat was now
His physical form,
And I’d been
Left to die.
There were no tears
That I could cry,
I’d used them all
For James.
The salty sadness
I’d held within me,
I’d wept for
Dear, sweet Lily.
I’d cried for Harry,
Now alone, as I’d been
My entire life;
But now, there was
Nothing more to weep—
I laughed wildly;
In some strange way,
To laugh was all
I could do
To save my sanity.
The rest of the world
Didn’t see it as such;
They saw me as
Demented.
They thought my mind
Had finally cracked,
So sent me to
My prison.
Dementors feasted
At my thoughts—
But worse than
Walls and bars
Was my own guilt.
What had I done?
James was dead;
It was my fault.