I’ll look back
To the time
I’ve been trying
To forget;
But then, some
Memories
Never leave
No matter
How you fight.
They creep into
My thoughts at night,
Unbidden
By my conscious.
They take their place,
And quickly replay
What it is
I’ve grown to fear:
The prison
That I escaped
And left miles
Behind me.
The prison's now
A memory,
Seperated
By the seas.
I escaped it
Forevermore;
But somehow,
I find it hard
To escape my mind;
The prison
Plauges my very dreams,
And so, I still
Remember:
My time in
Azkaban
Is worse than
Loneliness and filth.
It is worse
Than coldness
And Dementors,
That around me lurk.
The guilt pounds
Upon my mind,
Filling every
Empty crevice.
My worst memories
Add to my
Heavy weight.
I am plagued
By flashing
Images
I’ve long tried
To forget:
My father shouting,
Mother shrieking,
Regulus glaring”
My family’s hate.
Sounds I’ve hope
To never
Again hear
Were now persistent
In my mind:
The harsh tones
Of Remus
After the prank
And his glare
Of distrust
That went with it.
Looking back,
Not even
Snivellus
Deserved that;
Even James had
Been angry then.
Even James…
And the image of
His body,
Cold on the ground;
The house in ruins,
Harry’s crying,
My own howl of pain”
They flood into me,
They caress my mind;
The Dementors glide
Eagerly, sensing
My weakness.
I am not weak!
I never have been!
My mind suddenly
Supplies as
I stare into
The darkness
That is Azkaban.
I will not permit
Them drain me.
I will not permit
My sanity cease.
I do not deserve
That fate I’ve been dealt,
As I didn’t deserve
The family I’d had!
“I’m innocent!”
I shout to the wall,
I will not allow
Myself to suffer;
These Dementors
Won’t result
In my downfall.
But I cannot deny
The sadness
Upon my chest.
So I lend
My dog-form
When my sorrow’s
At it’s best.
For twelve years
I repeat the
Cycle I have
Fallen in.
I embrace despair
And transform when
I feel I’m
On the edge.
And one day,
When I feel
Even innocence
Won’t salvage my time,
I learn of Peter’s
Whereabouts.
I look at
The picture,
Revenge quickly
Comforts my mind.
He’s at Hogwarts…
The thoughts are
Always on my mind.
He’s at Hogwarts…
So close to Harry,
My godson.
He’s at Hogwarts…
He killed them all,
Betrayed us all;
How could we
Have been so blind?
He’s at Hogwarts…
A danger to Harry;
He ruined it all.
He’s at Hogwarts…
Peter will be mine!
And I escaped
My prison,
As I had
Escaped my first:
I left the prison,
Left despair,
Allowing
Obsession
To fuel my ride
To Hogwarts where
My foe resides.
My Prison by allura mystique
Chapter Notes: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I do not own anything from Harry Potter, especially Sirius Black. Now then, this is poem depicting Sirius Black's reflections on Azkaban while in Grimmauld Place. Please R&R!