“Now I want each of you to collect the rest of your ingredients from the front of the class. Of course, those of you who were paying attention last week should have already have collected the daisy roots and the pomegranate juice.” Remus glanced down at the mysteriously shrunken collection of daisy roots in front of him and, looking to his right, he saw that Sirius had obviously not been paying attention in their previous Potions class, and had not even asked before helping himself to the roots Remus had collected.
“Moony…can I…” But Sirius didn’t even have to finish. If he hadn’t bothered to collect the daisy roots, there was no way he had remembered the pomegranate juice. Remus had automatically reached for his vial and was already in the process of halving the juice he had collected with Sirius.
“Thanks…I owe you…another one,” Sirius added as an afterthought.
“For those of you who haven’t done the set reading for this week’s lesson, I have made a list on the board here of the other ingredients needed. Orchid petals work much better than daisy roots, but here at Hogwarts we must make do with what we have to hand. Pettigrew!”
Peter jumped, narrowly avoiding spilling the pomegranate juice he had miraculously remembered to collect, as Professor Slughorn called his name.
“Page fifty six.” Peter seemed to have frozen and was now staring blankly at an increasingly impatient Slughorn. Luckily, Lily reached across the bench and turned to the correct page for him and, after throwing Peter a warm smile, turned back to Snape with a flick of her auburn hair. On the other side of Remus, James sighed.
“I love it when she wears her hair like that.” Sirius snorted as he began to copy down the measurements of ingredients Slughorn had written on the board.
“I thought you said you were doing this last night,” Remus mumbled.
Sirius said nothing in response and James grinned before he winked at Sirius and said, “Oh yeah, you were in the library all night, weren’t you, Padfoot? Working really hard…”
Sirius looked up from his parchment, his eyes black with the threat that James should keep his mouth shut. James grinned and, after giving another extremely unsubtle wink, he once again turned his attention to the back of Lily’s head.
“What do you think, Moony?” James continued, drawing Remus’ attention away from Sirius, who now seemed a little too involved with task at hand. “Don’t you think Lily’s hair looks pretty pinned back? She had it up like that last Thursday.”
“Well, excuse us if we all have better things to do with our time than to keep a dairy of Evans’ changing attire.” Sirius looked up from his parchment and with his best look of mock sincerity before he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “Tell me, Prongs, how exactly did she have her hair on 25th November?”
James kicked Sirius hard under the table, causing him to yelp so loudly that the whole class turned round to look. Slughorn scowled at the three boys, who dutifully turned their attention back to the parchments in front of them as Slughorn continued to preach about the various properties of salamander blood.
“I suppose we can’t all have such a varied and exciting love life as yours.” At once Sirius stopped laughing and Remus saw the way James seemed to be delighting in his next comment, “How is Marianne by the way…still as enthusiastic as ever?”
Sirius’ face was thunderous as he tried to pull his wand quick enough to hex James without being seen. He was not quick enough, however; Remus had anticipated it all and had performed a quick charm that had turned Sirius’ wand into a wilting flower. James struggled to stifle his giggles and Sirius, who had been so furious, now melted under James’ laughter with the words, “Very funny, Moony.”
“Why does she spend so much time with that slimy git?” James began again, his eyes once again fixed on Lily. Both Remus and Sirius looked at where Lily was sitting, studiously weighing out the correct amount of moonstone to add to her cauldron.
“God knows,” Sirius said as he watched them, “I don’t know how she can stand the stench.” James laughed and this seemed to be enough to once again draw his attention back to the task at hand. Remus, however, continued to watch the way Snape switched from staring fixedly into his cauldron to staring at Lily. There was something about Lily Evans that seemed to draw people in; she was in everyone’s confidence and yet she betrayed no-one. Lily Evans was a girl that everyone could trust and perhaps that was part of the reason that so many of the boys in their year seemed half in love with her - none more so than James, of course. As much as the Marauders mocked him for it, Remus knew that what James felt for Lily was more than just a teenage crush. Maybe in the beginning it had been almost fun for him; a sort of challenge to get one of the only girls that wasn’t interested him, to like him. Yet now they were all older and things had changed. Remus had the unshakeable feeling that James was serious about Lily and that, maybe, behind a façade of hatred, she was serious about him too.
“So,” Remus said as he finished stirring his potion in the figure of eight he as instructed by the book in front of him. “Prepared for Christmas at the Potters’ yet?”
Sirius leant back in his chair and, running his hand idly through his now very long hair, he exhaled deeply before saying, “I don’t know…I mean I don’t know if it will all be too much.” Sirius looked at James and raised an eyebrow before continuing, “We might kill each other, James.”
“Don’t be soft, course we won’t. Oh, that reminds me, Dad’s invited you and Peter to stay with us over the New Year for a few days. I guess by their logic, if they’re going to have one of you lot over, they might as well have the rest of you too.”
“Yeah, but I’m not just staying for the New Year, am I?” Sirius’ lips had barely moved and his words were small and uncertain in the packed Potions room. It may have been quiet but Remus had clearly heard the fear behind what Sirius had said and he remembered that despite the fact that Sirius was now to live with the Potters, he was, relatively, without a family…without a home.
It had been more than a month since Sirius had told Remus all that had happened when he had returned home to Grimmauld Place. Another full moon had come and gone and now there was only a week to go until most of the pupils at Hogwarts would return home for the Christmas holidays. Since Halloween there had been no more talk of what had happened between Sirius and his family; that was the only time Sirius had confided in Remus about what was happening. Of course, maybe Sirius had been talking to James; telling James all the things he was feeling and fearing. Remus felt his mind grow hot with that thought of that and as he glanced up from his parchment he couldn’t help looking from James to Sirius. What was it about the thought of Sirius telling James those things that bothered him?
Sirius looked up from his parchment and for one terrifying moment Remus had the horrible feeling that Sirius was reading his mind. Those eyes seemed so light for a moment, searching Remus’ face for whatever it was he was so consumed with. Remus glanced to his side and saw that James was talking to Peter, whose potion looked nothing like the description in the book. Sirius’ eyes never left him however, and as he turned back round Remus did something that he hardly ever did; he pulled a square of parchment towards himself and wrote across it in his looping hand Are you sure that everything’s alright?
Sirius was surprised when he glanced down at the desk to see Remus pushing a note towards him, and Remus could barely watch as he slowly opened it to read what was written there. This was not like him at all. This was usually James and Sirius’ past time in Potions, not his. Remus could feel his cheeks burning as he listened to Sirius’ quill scratching a response next to him. After a few moments, waiting for Slughorn to pass their desks, Remus slid the folded piece of parchment out from the book Sirius had hidden it beneath and read; with a mother like you, Moony, how could I not be?
Beside him Remus heard Sirius laugh as he leant over his shoulder to read back what he had written. Remus turned to find Sirius smiling at him, his dark eyes dancing with amusement. Remus could feel the beginnings of a smile. He tried hard not to succumb to the laughter that was bubbling inside his throat. Yet it was impossible to ignore Sirius’ smile which made his eyes twinkle darkly. Sirius leant back in his chair, his eyes still fixed on Remus’ faltering stern façade and, after shrugging flippantly, he beamed as he watched Remus finally giving in to the laughter, which caused both Peter and James to stop talking and to turn and look at the two laughing Marauders.
“I’m glad you find your failed potions so amusing.” Slughorn’s voice cut through the laughter as he peered down into both Remus’ and then Sirius’ cauldron. “I hope you find it even more amusing in detention.”
Remus’ heart sank; all hopes of finishing his Transfiguration essay tonight in good time for the end of term were lost. Sirius, on the other hand, was smiling down at his parchment, almost as if some sort of small victory had been won and, as soon as Slughorn had swaggered back to the front of the classroom, Remus kicked Sirius hard under the table.
Without you, I'm nothing by Clare Mansfield
Chapter Notes: Back to the past now and the Marauders discuss Christmas and their love lives rather than concentrate in Potions.
Chapter Endnotes: Let me know what you think!
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