A few months after Hermione’s funeral, Ron and Harry went to Diagon Alley to get out for a while. Neither had been himself since Hermione’s death. Harry had to spend a whole day persuading Ron to come with him to Diagon Alley. Ron had never hesitated to come with him before. Harry, however, knew that Ron needed to get himself back into the world and continued to beg Ron to come with him until, finally, Ron agreed.
They tapped on the bricks leading them into the Alley and stepped through the newly formed archway. They looked at all of the careless faces on the street. Students, parents, teachers, old wizards, young wizards, all were gathered here for a day of good shopping or perhaps a trip to the wizard bank, Gringotts.
Harry and Ron joined the throngs of people moving about the crowed alley. They hastened to Eelop’s Owl Emporium for more owl treats for Pig and Hedwig. They both paid the wizard behind the counter and left the crowded shop. Harry suggested that they stop by the ice cream parlor but Ron seemed anxious to get back home. His heart wasn’t in the shopping, it was somewhere many months ago, still in a raging battle that had somehow altered his life. He was lost in a world of thought and hatred. He ate the ice cream with Harry, but he bit his tongue with every lick. It was too cold. It made his insides freeze. He felt like screaming. Harry noticed his friend’s strange behavior and pulled him away from the ice cream parlor.
Before they left, however, they stopped by Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes to visit Fred and George. They found the shop much too crowded with young witches and wizards. Fred and George seemed to have enough to deal with so they snuck back out the front door before either of the twins saw them. They slowly made their way back up the road to the Leaky Cauldron.
When they got there they sat down at a table. A pretty witch was sitting alone at the table next to them. Tom, the barman took their orders. When their firewhiskeys got there, Ron drained his in seconds. Harry gave him a sympathetic look and took a sip of his causing his throat to begin to burn. The girl at the table next to them glanced over occasionally. Ron sat in a daze, thinking about the past, the good, the bad, and the in between. He didn’t seem to notice the girl’s stares.
She seemed to be about two years younger then Harry and Ron, eighteen or nineteen. She had waist length blonde hair that cascaded in waves down her back. She had clear blue eyes and her nose; much like Ron’s, was dotted with light freckles. She had a copy of the Daily Prophet propped up against a butterbeer bottle on her table. Her plate of food was now empty but it had obviously been something cheesy. Orange residue still littered her plate as well as her napkin and silverware. Tom came over and cleared her plate.
Harry nudged Ron and pointed at her.
“What?” said Ron, apparently oblivious to the girl’s presence. He rubbed his nose and then his eyes.
“Ask her to sit with us,” hissed Harry. Ron looked at her and shrugged. “Come on, she looks like she could use the company as much as we could.”
“You ask her then, and leave me out of it!” snarled Ron as he rapped for another firewhiskey. His head burned with thoughts and he didn’t want to add some silly girl to the mix.
“Fine,” said Harry curtly. He stood up and crossed the room. Ron watched out of the corner of his eye as Harry spoke to the girl. Even Ron had to admit, she was very pretty. She came back with Harry and sat down. She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ears.
“Ron, this is Eva Grint. She just graduated from Hogwarts. She was a Ravenclaw. That’s why we didn’t know her.” Harry explained to Ron. It was obvious however that Ron didn’t care when all that he did was grunt. He slid his firewhiskey closer and took a sip.
“Nice to meet you.” She chimed sweetly as Ron took a longer drink from his firewhiskey. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I think I’d better go. I have things to do. Thanks for having me join you Harry. I’m sorry I can’t stay. Bye!” She stood to leave.
“Wait, don’t go…I’m sorry, it’s just that”” Ron put his head in his hands. He didn’t feel like explaining Hermione to some random girl.
“Harry told me about your friend Hermione. She must have been a wonderful person. All of the Ravenclaws knew about her. She was really smart, best in her year I heard. Everyone said she should have been a Ravenclaw. She was nice. She waved to me a couple of times…” Eva trailed off.
She sat back down and looked at Ron, “I’m really sorry.” She put a comforting hand on his arm.
“Don’t be. It’s silly. I shouldn’t be moping but I…she was a good friend.” Memories came flooding back. The funeral, the cemetery, the battle to the death…memories he had been trying to forget.
“You loved her didn’t you?” Eva stared unblinking into his eyes. He nodded. She smiled.
“I know how you feel. My dad died about four months ago. I loved him. He was my best friend.”
Ron looked at her, “Somehow I don’t think it’s the same thing…” Nobody knew how he felt. He felt death. He felt rage. He felt…
“Let’s have a round of butterbeers shall we?” Harry tried to brighten the mood.
“No thanks,” said Eva. She stood up and put her hand on Ron’s shoulder; “If you need to talk…” She pulled out her wand and waved it once producing a small slip of paper, “Stop over sometime.”
“Ok…” mumbled Ron still deep in his own thoughts.
“See you Harry.” Eva pushed in her chair and made her way towards the door.
“Bye!” called Harry. Ron stared at the paper in his hands.
“She seemed nice…” said Ron.
“You should go over tomorrow,” said Harry as Ron slid the paper towards him.
“No, I don’t think I really want to talk about it…”
“You need to sometime,” said Harry.
“Not yet…” Ron stood up and shoved the paper into his pocket.
“Fine,” said Harry curtly, “Your loss.”
Ron walked out of the pub. He was still thinking about Eva. “No,” he said to himself, “I don’t like Eva! I love you Hermione!” He looked to the sky. “Help me!”
The next day Ron sat at the table at the Burrow and held his head in his hands. He was still deep in thought about Eva. Over and over her hair would flow through his mind only to be replaced by her stunning blue eyes. Then he would look at a photo of Hermione now thumbtacked to the wall. Tears began to flow freely down his face. He was caught in a whirlwind of emotions and didn’t want to think; didn’t want to breathe.
He rubbed at his temples trying to rub out his headache. It throbbed in every part of his body not only his head. Every time he tried to escape the pain it sunk in deeper until he was in a heap on the floor, sobbing like he would never cease. He didn’t want to love again. He knew he didn’t. Eva was causing him nothing but pain. How could there be real life without Hermione? He tried to make things seem all right, make them look better then they really were. What would happen when he couldn’t remember her anymore? Some people may have photographic memory, but what about the people like him who didn’t have any film? Soon he would forget what she looked like, and then what she sounded like…pretty soon he would forget her altogether.
Things kept going over and over like a broken record in his head. Things he should have said, but didn’t, and now would never get to. He looked over all of the times that they fought yet miraculously made up. He thought of all the joy he had experienced in her presence. He thought of everything that now would never happen again. Was it ok to move on?
Everything was quiet. The house was still asleep. Ron tried to stop his thoughts, tried to make them cease. He tried…Ron felt that there was no good way. No matter what he did he could feel the shame burning his heart and mind. His stomach turned and his mind throbbed. There was no escape from this mental prison. He didn’t want to miss Hermione. He didn’t want to love her anymore.
Sitting on his kitchen floor with his knees pulled to his chest, he felt lost. Hermione had left him alone. She had left him like this; cold and lifeless, miserable. It was not her fault, yet Ron couldn’t help but blame her for everything. She didn’t have to leave him. She didn’t have to be gone. She could have chose to stay home with Ginny and pretend nothing was wrong while he and Harry left to battle Voledemort.
He wanted to cry, wanted to hurt. He sat there for a long time inside his own thoughts. He took a deep breath. A different feeling filled his insides. He wanted to punch something. To curse it, to make it hurt as he had. This torture was too much. He stood up and headed for the door. He needed an escape from this nightmare.
He thought of Eva’s smile, how it had made his chest tighten. He fought for breath. That smile made everything worse. How he hated that smile. He couldn’t wait to talk to her again, yet he felt the same about Hermione. What would she say if she could see him now, sitting by the pond in his yard, rocking back and forth like he was in the asylum? He felt like he could die there and now. He hated acting like everything was ok, like he didn’t miss her…
Someone in the house stirred. Ron wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He didn’t want to face his family. He didn’t want to pretend he wasn’t thinking about Hermione, about Eva, about anything. Why did she have to leave him in this world where everything is moving fast, too fast?
He didn’t like waiting for something bad to happen. That’s how it was now. He was always waiting for the next horrible thing to happen, but it never came. His inside slowly turned from mush back into something solid. He didn’t want another surprise. He wanted his life back. If Hermione were here things would be different. But she was gone. Gone. Gone…
Ron's New Life by rupertgrintlover13
Chapter Notes: Ron is having a very hard time with Hermione's death but Harry finds a solution...which doesn't really help...yet. I would still like comments please!