I’m sitting here on the swing in our backyard, pumping myself slowly. Daddy used to push me on this swing; we would have a lot of fun together here. People keep telling me that he’s in a better place now. What place could be better than here, with me? I know that my daddy would rather be here with me right now instead of wherever he is now. He died because he had to save the world. That is almost funny to say now; that he saved the world. The war was already over; he just had to finish the last part off. He had to destroy the necklace. I thought that he was just going to go, and break it, and then come back. I was wrong. I guess I’m wrong about a lot of things.
I’ve heard people talking about my family and me. Most people say that my mummy and daddy were too young to have a baby when they had me. They were nineteen, and the war wasn’t over yet. I was almost four when the war ended, when they killed Voldemort. Mummy and I had been in hiding in a little house where only our family could visit us. There were lots of parties when the war ended, but Daddy said that it didn’t feel like it was real. He found out that it wasn’t real, that a necklace was still out there that kept Voldemort from being dead. He said that he had to make sure the necklace was gone before we were all safe. Well, Daddy, the necklace is gone, and it took you with it.
I don’t really understand what it means to die. One can’t possibly just disappear for ever, can they? No, that couldn’t be true. What happened to all of the love that Mummy and I gave him? Just because he hasn’t been here to tuck me in for the past week doesn’t mean that I can’t still feel that he loved me. I was his daughter, his Lily, isn’t that important? I have a big family that tells me that they will take care of me and stuff, but it isn’t the same as having my daddy back. Mummy will always be here for me, but she misses Daddy too.
It’s time to go to the funeral now. I have on my nicest black dress, and my hair is brushed all smooth. They are going to burry Daddy in the ground; I think that that’s mean. He can’t breathe in the ground, but every one says that he doesn’t need to any more. The graveyard where he is going to be buried is right near my house, so I am going to bring him flowers every day; I’ll bring him lilies.
People keep walking up to Mummy and me and telling us how sorry they are. Are they really sorry? What are they sorry for? Are they sorry that my daddy won’t be able to tell me that everything is alright when I have a nightmare? Are they sorry that no body is going to sit under the stars with Mummy and me at night and tell stories? No body really notices that I’m crying; they expect me to. Some short old man is talking about Daddy now. I don’t really know what he’s saying because he isn’t talking about the Daddy that I knew. Not the one that reads me stories, teaches me how to fly on his broomstick, or tries to cook but ends up making a mess so that Mummy has to cook. Not the one that chases me around the garden or taught me how to tie my shoes. No, they are talking about some one else, a stranger. Are they burying a stranger as well?
They are starting to put his coffin in the ground, and people are standing up to put flowers on it. I stand up too and walk over.
“I’ll miss you Daddy, I’ll miss you ever day,” I whisper as I put my lily down. The coffin is going in the ground now, and they are putting dirt on top of it. “Stop! Don’t do that!” I scream at the man who is waving his wand around. Mummy takes my hand and tells me that the man has to do that. She is crying too. I see Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione not too far away from us; they are both crying like every one else around me, except they are really going to miss him. They knew my daddy for real and know how sad it is that he won’t be here with us anymore. They, like Mummy and me and the rest of my close family, loved Daddy for who he was and not what he did.
“No, no, I want them to take him out again!” I cry, shaking Mummy’s hand.
“No baby, he needs to stay there now,” Mummy tells me.
“But I didn’t even really say goodbye. I just told him that I would miss him, and that isn’t enough!” I plea, letting go of Mummy’s hand and running over to Daddy’s grave. I fall and skin my knee on top of it, but I don’t care; all I want is my Daddy back, and he can’t come. I want to say something to him, but I don’t know what, and I’m crying too much to get any words out. People are telling me to get up and go back with them. I tell them to go away, and that I won’t go back.
“No! Put me down! No, I want to stay with him!” I am kicking and screaming as much as I can as Uncle Ron dries his tears and picks me up so that he can take me back to the sad party. “He needs me to stay with him! Put me down!” I can’t get out of Uncle Ron’s grip, and Mummy is telling me to calm down, saying that it will be alright. “No, it won’t be alright!” I scream back. I can’t kick anymore; it’s too hard. So I just cry and let Uncle Ron carry me back to the Burrow where every one is waiting.
Uncle Ron puts me down in a big chair in the sitting room. I don’t want to be here; I want to be with my Daddy. Why can’t any one take me back?
“That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do,” Uncle Ron tells Aunt Hermione as she hugs him; both of them are crying again. I know that they are talking about me, but I don’t care.
Mummy sits down next to me, and I crawl into her lap; she strokes my hair and cuddles me. I want this to make me feel better, but it doesn’t.
“I want Daddy,” I cry to Mummy hopelessly.
“I know, love, I know,” Mummy whispers to me.
“Why did he have to die?” I ask, a little louder than I meant to. Every body in the room goes quiet and looks at me. “Don’t look at me like that!” I shout angrily. Every one pities me. I don’t want to be pitied; I want my daddy!
~~~**|**~~~**|**~~~
I look down at the grave stone that’s labelled Harry James Potter. Brushing off my jeans, I sit down on the earth that covers the grave and put down a lily.
“Hi Dad,” I whisper, “I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ve wanted to. Hogwarts keeps me busy, you know, but now I’m back for the summer holiday, so I can come here every day. I think I did okay on my O.W.L.s, but I’ll have to wait and see. I want to be a Healer, so I can help people like you did. I know that you were an Auror, but you still helped every one. Ha, you saved the world. People at school call me ‘Princess Potter’ because I’m ‘The Saviour’s Daughter,’ but I don’t care. They can taunt and tease me all they want, and it doesn’t affect me. I’m proud to be a Potter, proud to be Lily Ginevra Potter. I know you were teased a lot in school too. Potter has that affect on people. I wish that I could have a little brother so that the name will carry on. I guess I could keep it when I get married, actually, would love to keep it. McGonagall says that I’m the spitting image of your mum. I think that’s sweet since I’m named after her.
"Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione are doing well. So are Catherine, Spencer, and Erin. They still have pictures of you up in there house, hell, so do we. I have every picture ever taken of us together. Mum’s put a preservation charm on them for me. My memories of you are all good and ever lasting. It’s funny; I sometimes feel closer to those memories than to what ever happened yesterday.
"Genevieve can be a right pain in the neck, but she’s my cousin so I kind of have to love her. I’m just glad that she goes to Beuaxbatons instead of Hogwarts; she was at our welcome home dinner though. So were Chase and Haley, but since they’re in Hogwarts I guess they would have to be.
"I get a bunch of great stuff from Weasley Wizard Wheezes every time I go to Hogsmeade. Uncle Fred and Uncle George give me stuff for free because they say that you gave them a thousand galleons once. I believe it.
"I think I might be Quidditch Captain next year, but I’m not sure, so I don’t want to get cocky or anything. I still remember those days when you taught me how to fly. At school I play on your Firebolt which is still one of the fastest there. People tell me that I’m a pretty good Seeker; they say that you would be proud. I hope so. Well, Mum is calling, so I’ll come back tomorrow. I love you, Dad.”
Lily jumped off and brushed at her jeans again before heading back over to her house. She rubbed her tears away with her hand and put on a smile. Not a fake smile, but a smile that showed that she had talked to her dad and brought him her lily just as she had promised him eight years ago.
Proud to be Lily Ginevra Potter by HJPCATI
Chapter Notes: Okay, I actually wrote this in mid October, 2006 but I some how never got around to posting it. So, thanks to my beta ~Magical Mischief Makers, Inc. who made this story presentable though I doubt she even remembers it now.
Disclaimer: This is J.K.R.'s world, I'm just playing around in it. Meaning, I own nothing.