It was Saturday, and so I wasn’t expecting too many people in college, and especially not Ben, but he was the first person we ran into.
“Lauren! You didn’t tell me you were going to be in today!” His voice was full of pleased surprise. Hermione elbowed me. My look of shocked horror must have been obvious. Ben himself looked taken aback and rather hurt.
“You don’t look pleased to see me,”
Belatedly I plastered a smile onto my face. “Just startled. I was thinking about you, and there you are suddenly!” I sounded stagy; an amateur actress caught unawares, and not sure of her lines.
Ben leant in to kiss me, as kiss as easy and natural as sunshine on water, and as usual, all my coherent thoughts left me apart from the growing conviction that this was certainly not the kiss of a Death Eater. I must be wrong.
We broke apart and he looked over at Hermione. “Hermione! How nice to meet you at last!”
Hermione’s expression didn’t change. She held out her hand. “Hello. You must be Ben. I have heard all about you. I’m Hermia. I share a flat with Lauren.”
Ben raised an eyebrow, and for a fraction of a second, I thought that he looked over her head at somebody. They shook hands a bit formally, and Ben nodded at her case.
“Do you come here too?”
Hermione hesitated. She was not much better than I was at dissembling, and she couldn’t remember what I had told him. I laughed, sounding a little forced.
“Hermia is just here with me today. I was going to show her around.”
“Well, why don’t I come with you?” he asked, smiling at Hermione in a very fake manner and grabbing my hand. “We can do the guided tour, and then I can stand you both a coffee in the canteen.”
I looked at Hermione with consternation. She smiled at me, with a warning look in her eyes. I had known Hermione for years, so I waited.
“No, you two go on,” she gushed in a very un-Hermione like manner. “Three’s a crowd. I’ll just go and find - John “ and give him his clarinet.” She waved the case brightly, with a fake dazzling smile.
Her look to me said plainly that I was to keep Ben well occupied while she looked around. Well, she could hardly go wrong: the registrar’s door was marked in big bold letters. All I had to do was to get Ben to come and practice with me.
I sighed heavily. “Oh well. Have fun. Ben, shall we find a practice room?”
If Ben was amazed at the speed and ease at which I ditched my friend, he didn’t show it. He allowed himself to be swept downstairs, where, for the first time ever, I could not concentrate on my practice. I was wondering what Hermione was doing upstairs, and making some very odd mistakes. My mind jumped like a frightened rabbit.
The kiss had been wonderful. Then he had not believed Hermione when she told him she was Hermia. But if he suspected her, how come he had allowed himself to be taken downstairs? Was there someone else upstairs watching Hermione? Now we were playing, and usually I would have enjoyed myself, but I was actually feeling shaky and rather sick. My bow arm wobbled and Ben stopped playing.
“Is something the matter Lauren? You are not focusing today.”
“I -,” I looked up at him, wishing for the moment that I didn’t have to fence with somebody who was obviously better at it than I was. I probably shouldn’t ask him, but I really wanted to know.
“Why did you ask me out? I mean the real reason.” There. I had said it, and my voice hadn’t trembled “ much. I surreptitiously wiped my damp palms on my skirt.
Ben looked taken aback. “Well, it was your cello playing at first,” he said hesitantly.
I shook my head. “Leave it, if you can’t answer. I am not sure I want to know. Perhaps I should ask instead why you want to keep on seeing me?”
I looked up at him, trying to read the truth in his face, but his eyes had fallen. “Is it because I am useful?” I asked him bluntly.
He looked up at that, with a laugh caught in his throat. “I wouldn’t say you were useful, Lauren! In fact, you have been everything but. We have been out for weeks now, and, since we seem to be talking face to face at last, I still don’t know what you are after. Is it something to do with the Ravenclaw music?”
I felt a little as if he had poured a bucket of cold water over me. I know it had been me who asked first, but still I had not expected him to be quite so direct, or to figure out so much.
“Actually the Ravenclaw was coincidence,” I said cautiously, only giving him part of the truth. “Since I am related to her in a way. I still don’t quite know how, but I know I am somehow. That makes it interesting to me. My father does genealogy.”
“And why is Hermione Granger here at college with you?” asked Ben. His eyes seemed to pierce mine, and I dropped them. I sighed as if weary. “I keep telling you. My friend is not Hermione Granger. She is Hermia. There might be a superficial resemblance, but it ends there.”
There was a silence. I had realized it was probably impossible to deny actually knowing Hermione. He had obviously recognized the three of them somehow when they came to that fateful concert, but with the glasses and plaits I didn’t see how he could be sure that it was Hermione with me today.
I raised my eyes to his, as if in indignation. “Do you really think I would bring Hermione Granger here when I know there is a possibility you or your cousin may be around? Why would she want to visit the Academy anyway?”
Ben shrugged. “You obviously weren’t expecting me to be here today. And Hermione is important. We know she is still in contact with Harry Potter, and I need to know why they are interested in the Academy.” He added with a slight sneer, “That is; Harris. Ron Harris, if you need to carry on your charade? I know you left with him after the last concert.”
He saw me rub my suddenly cold arms, and his mouth twisted in a wry smile. “You don’t need to worry Lauren. You know I would never torture the information out of you.”
My mouth was dry. “Why?”
I met his eyes. He was still wearing that twisted smile as he put down his viola and got up. He came over to me, bent down and kissed me. It was a tender, almost coaxing kiss, very loving, and full of sunshine and warmth.
“You know very well I couldn’t hurt a hair of your head.” He ran a thumb down the side of my face.
I was very confused. Surely Ben could not be a Death Eater? Yet why would he want to keep tabs on Harry Potter? Was he in the Order? Reluctantly I opened my eyes.
“Can you show me your tattoo now?”
Ben shrugged again. “You know what it looks like. Why do you want to see it?”
My mouth was still dry, and my words came out in a whisper. “I need to be quite certain.”
There, in the quiet practice room at the Academy, in the Muggle world, Ben rolled up his sleeve. On his lightly tanned and fairly muscular arm, the Dark Mark burned, the snake swaying from the skull’s mouth.
I felt faint, and a familiar sour taste filled my mouth.
“I’m going to be sick.”
Ben leapt forward, with a plastic bag that he had probably magicked up from somewhere.
I was sick. I had expected that he would leave, but he stayed, muttering a cleaning spell, and then stroking my bent head, probably with a view to restoring my well-being. It just made me feel horribly insecure and terrified. I found it difficult not to shake. After a while, he moved my cello, and knelt down in front of me, so that he could look up at me.
“Lauren. I give you my word you have nothing to be frightened of. You have been told some terrible things about my Lord. None of them are true. All that he wishes is to make the world a better place for magical people to live. To accomplish that, we need to know how Harry Potter is working against us. If you could help us at all, you would have the Dark Lord’s gratitude and a place at his side for as long as you wanted it.” His face glowed with the fervour of his belief.
I felt sicker and sicker as I looked at the boy I had loved for so many years. I know the sweat on my back felt as cold as ice, while my face was flaming. How could he think well of a man who chose for his emblem a skull vomiting up a snake?
“What about Muggles?” I asked, my voice coming out in no more than a whisper. “Where do they figure in his plans?”
Ben took my hands and gently massaged them between his. I know my hands were freezing cold and shaking, because his felt burning hot.
“Lauren, sweetheart, what do you think he is going to do to the Muggles? What have your friends led you to expect?” He rose and sat on the chair next to me, keeping my hands in his. “The Dark Lord is not unkind. They will still have a place in the world. We will allow them to marry and bring up their children. We will keep schools open so that they can be educated. There is much that needs doing for which they will be useful. But we will be able to practice our calling in public. Don’t you wish for that?” He laughed lightly and indulgently.
“I know you have a soft heart. I love you for it. I have seen you with Katy and Alexander. We would not hurt the Muggles you are fond of. After all, of all living things they are the closest to us. They need looking after wisely “ you have seen what they are doing to the world on their own. We need to control them, to set up breeding programs to -”
I was trying not to breathe in gasps. Ben thought I was a witch. He was talking of Katy and Alexander as if they were pets that I had taken a fancy to. I swallowed. There was no way I could tell him that I was a Muggle. It would be desperately dangerous. Yet I could not see how I would be able to keep up the fiction that I was a witch now that we were at last out in the open. There was no way I could ever do magic, and he would find out sooner or later. I made up my mind and raised my head.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know where Harry Potter is. He approached me a few weeks ago for some information, and that is the first time I ever met him or Hermione Granger. And even if I did know where he was, I wouldn’t tell you. You want to kill him, don’t you?”
His bent head said it all. He looked up at me. “Believe me Lauren, if there were any other way…” his words trailed off into silence.
I stood up. Hermione had had long enough now to find the address we needed. My legs felt strange, a bit like overcooked spaghetti. I smiled in a rather strained way. “I suppose you have had my friend followed?”
Ben’s smile was also strained. “And I am supposed to follow you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Suppose I Apparate?”
He shrugged. “Then I suppose I will lose you. It won’t be that difficult to find you again, Lauren. The Dark Lord is not concerned with you at all.”
I started to pack up my cello. “I am not in the mood to practice. I’m “ too cold. How about that coffee you were going to stand me? Does that still “ I mean “ “
“Of course!” Ben stood up and picked up his viola. “Let’s just pack up, and then we’ll go up. I want to introduce you to my cousin anyway, and fill you in on a few things.”
My heart sank. I was in way over my head. I can’t remember ever having felt so helpless in my entire life. “Draco Malfoy?”
Ben smiled. “You are quick Lauren! You will like Draco. He has always been a favourite cousin. Well, he isn’t actually a cousin, but our families are so close we might as well be!”
Seeing that my cello was in its case, he held out his hand to me.
I didn’t take it immediately.
“Lauren?”
His face showed how much he was hurt by my rejection, and part of my heart melted in spite of myself, at his entreating sea blue eyes. I put my hand into his. It did not send tingles down my arm in the way it usually did when I held Ben’s hand. My hands were still freezing, and his hand was strangely comforting, but only because of the warmth, and the assurance that I wasn’t in immediate danger yet.
We left the practice room for the canteen, with my mind teeming with all sorts of implausible ways of getting home alone. The only thing that helped me remain sane was the knowledge that Hermione was used to shimmying out of tight situations. She also had Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. She was probably going to be all right, so I only had myself to worry about. On no account must I mention the word “Horcrux”, and I must not let Draco Malfoy look into my eyes, as he had been trained in the art of reading thoughts - Legilimency.
I knew that Ben would be mostly in the dark, as Draco would be himself. Lord Voldemort did not trust his nearest and dearest with his plans and ideas. They would certainly not know about the Horcruxes.
We were halfway through a coffee in the canteen, and I was trying to muddle Ben about what Harry and Hermione wanted quite successfully when Draco Malfoy entered. I had never met him, but I knew who he was. His eyes were as gray and cold as pebbles, and his hair platinum silvery gold. He looked as if he had a bad smell under his nose. If he hadn’t looked so psychopathic, he would have been handsome. As it was, I felt gooseflesh cover my arms. He nodded to Ben, who pulled over a chair so that he could sit with us.
Draco nodded at me and slid into his seat, looking around at the people at neighboring tables with a sneer. “You must be Lauren.” His voice was curiously light in timbre, with a sneering sound that reflected the look on his face. “Ben has told us all about you.” His voice sounded as if I definitely did not live up to expectations, and in spite of knowing he was a despicable, cowardly Death Eater, my feminine side was wounded, and I sat up straighter. Ben’s hand tightened on mine, almost as if unconsciously. Draco turned to Ben.
“Didn’t see anybody I knew. That wasn’t Granger with her. She was quite good looking. The Mudblood is frizzy and has buck teeth.”
(Buck teeth? Hermione had won her battle and her parents had straightened her teeth out years ago! I sat up indignantly.)
Draco went on, “She went off and found some boy who called her his “angel”, and I followed them to a practice room where they ended up snogging. Obviously some kind of Muggle slag. Is she going to help us?” He inclined his head toward me.
I tried to make sense of what he was saying, but I couldn’t imagine what boy had miraculously come to our rescue, unless Draco hadn’t recognized Harry or Ron, which seemed a bit incredible. On the other hand, my mind boggled at the thought of Hermione going off and snogging some random boy in a practice room. Of course, Draco Malfoy wouldn’t expect that either. My respect for Hermione grew.
Ben’s hand was clenching mine so hard now, my hand hurt.
“Lauren doesn’t know Potter very well,” he answered for me. “She will try to arrange it. She is seeing him in two weeks to give him a progress report.”
Draco Malfoy shot me an unloving look. “Come on, Ben, you’ve been going out for months “ what is taking so long? People are starting to get impatient.”
Ben gave me an embarrassed look. “Only you and your father. My orders were specifically not to push.”
Draco looked around the hall, his lip curling. “I could almost believe you had become a Muggle lover. How could you stand it, you two? Having to mix with them daily? The stench is just foul.” He leaned his chair back, and put his feet on the table.
Ben looked even more embarrassed. “Actually, Lauren quite likes Muggles,” he admitted, sounding as if he were excusing the foibles of a spoiled child. “There are a couple of them she is quite fond of.”
Draco shot him a disbelieving look, and then looked at me with profound aversion. “I think they should all be put down. Disgusting. They overrun everything.”
He pointed his wand under the table and laughed as a girl slipped and fell, overturning her tray. I knew her slightly and had a great admiration for her, as she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met, and she was actually nice with it. She was Sally, a flautist. As she lurched to her feet it was obvious her arm was broken, and she had tears in her eyes. Draco smiled, a thin cruel smile, as people rose in consternation and began to crowd around her.
I rose with indignation so furious I could hardly speak. “I think you should take your cousin out of here.” I told Ben. I am going to the Ladies, and when I get back, he had better be gone, or I will tell you sod all about anybody and especially not Potter. Lord Voldemort won’t be pleased with him blowing his cover to get a cheap thrill. Muggles aren’t blind after all, and he is being very stupid. Even a wand puller can get shot through the back of the head if the police are called in. And get him to put that poor girl right!”
I stormed off, expecting a curse from behind any second, but I reached the Ladies unharmed.
As I swung the door open, I got the shock of my life. Something unseen grabbed me around the waist and hurried in after me. Of course it was just Hermione under the Invisibility Cloak, but I had to stifle a scream anyway. You have no idea how unnerving it is to have something that isn’t there touching you.
She took the cloak off once we were in the bathroom. “Thank goodness you thought to go to the Ladies. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want anyone to see the door opening on its own. We have to Apparate out of here. It was lucky Harry had me bring his cloak; Draco Malfoy has been wandering around all morning like he was on sentry duty or something.”
I was shaking now. I nodded, not feeling very brave at all. Hermione didn’t seem at all put out that my college was infested with Dark Wizards planning to keep us Muggles as pets. She seemed as cool as a cucumber and completely in control of the situation.
I turned to the door. “I need to get my cello.”
Hermione managed to grab my arm before I swung the door open again.
”Lauren, wait! We have to go without your cello.”
I looked at her, my mouth open, finally grasping the whole horror of the situation.
“What do you mean? Of course I have to go back for my cello “ I can’t go without my cello -” I could hear my voice rising hysterically.