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Meetings by dink

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Not the mansion this time, but a deeply-shadowed clearing within what looked to be a pine forest. Snape's panic subsided as he realised Lord Voldemort was nowhere to be seen. The silence was oddly deafening, and the thick carpeting of old brown pine needles on the forest floor ensured that his footsteps made no noise. He was of course reminded of the elaborate forest he had imagined during his Occlumency lesson with Dumbledore. Did the Dark Lord know of it? Was this his way of showing Snape that he knew of his betrayal? Were these to be his last few moments of life, walking through a mocking reference to his own troubled mind?

Snape walked the perimeter of the clearing, examining the jumble of thoughts and memories that had been stirred up by the burn of the Dark Mark. Now that he knew the truth of his own choices, he was shamed by the way he had cowered before Lord Voldemort. It seemed to Snape that he had stooped very low in his desire to be a part of something. And the Death Eater meetings too -- discussing, and sometimes carrying out, torture and murder and deceit. He could not now deny that he had enjoyed having a position of some significance within the circle. They had respected him, once he had shown his strength, and he had even respected them for their ruthless determination to carry out Lord Voldemort's plans. Now that he could see the emptiness of the Dark Lord's intentions, and the self-delusion of the Death Eaters' belief that pain and fear could ever lead to freedom, Snape felt only scorn.

He was as contemptuous of himself as he was of his former allies. At Hogwarts he had yearned to belong to the inner set of Slytherins. Malfoy had taken a liking to him, and he had been grateful (pathetic, he thought now). He did not like to think of the last few years there, after his older friends and (why deny it?) protectors had left. Small wonder that he had immediately sought out their company once more after he left the school. Looking back on it all, the chain of cause and effect seemed so obvious. Even now, he could tell that part of his fear and insecurity was simply the result of being alone in this forest. He knew, irrationally, that he would feel more at ease if he could hear something -- the distant call of a bird, or the drone of insects. Wait. There had been something -- a quiet flutter, as if a bird's wing had grazed the branch of a tree.

He was suddenly aware that he was no longer alone in his mind.

It seemed to him that terror and anxiety rushed through his carefully built defences, churning everything in their wake. Where was the Dark Lord? He wheeled around, scanning the darkness of the forest on all sides, searching in vain for signs of movement. There was a soft rustling in the trees behind him but still there was nothing to be seen. He began to shake. The mark on his arm was throbbing in time with his accelerated pulse and each wave of pain seemed to leave him weaker than the last. He wanted nothing more than to curl up on the ground, to retreat into himself, to shut out the world, to hide from Lord Voldemort.

And then, just as had happened in Dumbledore's study, Snape found he was practising Occlumency almost automatically. Lord Voldemort's presence was like a subtle poison, seeping into Snape's mind. It would be ... inadvisable for him to access anything but the surface panic. Fear was acceptable, because Snape had always been afraid in the presence of the Dark Lord. He began the delicate task of altering the appearance of the contents of his mind. In fact, he did not have to change much after all. By a clever manipulation he managed to conceal his decision to switch sides, his meeting with Dumbledore, his new knowledge of occlumency and legilimency -- by transforming them all into what had previously been the unexplored territories. He sensed (with relief which was immediately hidden) Lord Voldemort approach and pass these areas. Clearly, he was searching for anything new.

Abruptly, the silent invasion ceased. Snape relaxed very slightly, determined to guard his thoughts closely until he was once more safe in his own house. There was another shiver of sound from the trees near the edge of the clearing.

"My Lord," said Snape, as evenly as he could.