War isn’t over when it ends
Some pictures never leave your mind
The fighting might be over, but the war hasn’t finished yet. Before we can call it over, we have to put the world to rights. We’ve spent the last few years messing it up, and now those that are left standing have to put it back together, piece by piece.
We have to rebuild everything. Diagon Alley, ruined by flames, has to be rebuilt. Knockturn Alley, left untouched, will be destroyed. Will a little more destruction make any difference to our lives? The Ministry will be rebuilt, bigger and better than before, both in physical structure and in people. The new government will not allow this to happen again.
Some are optimistic about life after the war. They say it’s a fresh page, a new leaf, free from all our troubles of before. I don’t know about that. Nothing can be perfect, however much we want it. And what about all those we lost, all those who cannot be here to help rebuild?
Someone has to pay for their chance to live
They are dead, gone from the world, so we could live. There would be death; I knew there would be death in war. We fight wars to kill. Muggles and wizards alike fight for what they believe to be right. Does this make war right, having the right intentions? Does this justify killing?
The dead paid the price for us, dying so we could live to fight another day, and so we could rebuild the world after the war. Many are nameless, mangled bodies found in out of the way places. Some have just disappeared. We have names, but no fate attached. People can hope, like Arthur Weasley, hoping against hope that Percy will come back, but not many hope any more.
So many dead. We found bodies everywhere, Death Eaters, Order members and non-combatants alike. All died for the cause, the Ministry told us. They’ve set up memorials to the dead, and a graveyard set aside for the bodies, a place where we can go to mourn. So many dead.
I go there, sometimes, and walk amongst the graves. Some I never knew, others were dear to me. Everyone lost someone they knew and cared about. Death wasn’t picky who it took, Death Eaters and Order members, wizards and Muggles, young and old, all are represented here. The grave of a baby, just seven months old, lies next to the grave of a great-grandmother, killed protecting her great-grandsons.
But we were given a chance. Fate spared us, those that are left. It took friends, wives, children and siblings, but gave us a second chance. Why us, I don’t know. But we were saved, both by fate and by the sacrifice of others. Now, all we have to do is come to terms with their deaths.
Some have found that easier than others, those who have lost less or those who find death easier to cope with. It has driven others insane.
It’s another fact of war, some may say, that there’s always some that simply cannot cope. There have been suicides, people driven over the edge by the war. They survived until the end, only to find that they couldn’t go back to how they were before. Nobody can, I suppose.
They are the living reminders of all the good we’ve failed to do
Many live on, unable to cope, not dead, but not quite living either. We’ve failed these people, just like we’ve failed the dead. They suffer worse than the dead, in a way, as they have to live with their pain every day of their lives, until they too die.
‘Life must go on’ some say, those that set about rebuilding, smiling at nothing. But how do you explain that to someone who is grieving? I tried to tell Molly that, but she doesn’t listen. She lost more than most in the war, two children dead, one lost, one maimed for life. I sit with her every morning for a few hours, talking and helping her as much as I can. Molly Weasley, a source of strength to everyone before the war.
Sometimes, I think fate should have taken her. It’s unfair to leave her here, without the family that was her life before the war. She was helpful, kind, easy to please. Now, the only person that can light up her face is little Holly, her granddaughter. Maybe she sees something of Ginny in her.
War brings out the best and the worst in people, they say. It brought out the best in Ron, never quite taken seriously by many before the war, but now holding his shattered family together. He has lost people, many people, but somehow, he manages to look forwards. He mourns alone; making sure everyone sees the positive side of him as much as possible
Will the world remember you when you fall? Could it be your death means nothing at all?
I will not forget the deaths. I will remember. I saw many of my friends and family die, and the memories will stay with me. Sirius first, falling through the veil in full view of us all. I never saw Dumbledore’s death, but it affected me. Something I couldn’t have helped, the same as Sirius’ death, but still felt guilty for. We were all affected.
I feel, sometimes, that I could have prevented certain deaths. Part of me says that maybe, if I’d acted quicker, I could have prevented Hermione’s death, that last day of the war. If I’d just Stunned Bellatrix before she’d had time to shoot the spell, maybe, instead of after, or if I’d somehow avoided the duel with Lucius Malfoy that I’d been caught up in and fought Bellatrix instead. But, another part of me knows that it was impossible. I did all that I could.
That day was the worst of them all, thirty nine dead on the battlefield, and three died of their injuries later. The only good thing that came from the day was Voldemort’s death, if any death can be described as ‘good’. Harry killed him, before he too died. Once the prophecy had been fulfilled, he was allowed a few brief minutes before his injuries got the better of him. We didn’t tell him about Hermione before he died, or about Ginny, Fred, Hestia, Moody, Mundungus or any of the other dead.
I remember that day clearly, and will do for the rest of my life. They died to defeat Voldemort, and my only comfort is that they knew they could do it. So many lives, all lost to rid the world of evil.
I often think there must be a better way than killing. Not everybody sees it that way though, Voldemort was proof of that. Hermione once told me about one of the Muggle wars, when they were fighting someone called Hitler. They tried to compromise with him, but he just kept on fighting and killing, and so they were forced to fight. Most people thought this was the right thing to do, to stop the death he was causing. But is fighting killing with killing the right thing to do?
I think of those we have lost, and I think its not. They shouldn’t have died; they should have been alive to see the world rebuilt. Not just those who died in the final battle, but those killed before, like Peter Pettigrew in a repayment to his debt to Harry, or the teachers and students killed in the siege of Hogwarts. McGonagall died there, defending her school, along with Flitwick, Filch, Seamus Finnegan, Terry Boot, Cho Chang and many others. The school has its own memorial for the events of that day.
They didn’t deserve to die, they had their whole lives left to live, free of the shadow that was Voldemort.
Some died before the war began, too. Sirius died in the Ministry, in the fight that launched the war, James and Lily Potter died to protect Harry and create a hero.
But those that are left will never forget them. We’ve changed since the war, loosing some of our light heartedness and instead becoming graver and more reflective. I know I have, and I’ve seen the others around me change. We are stronger, we are the survivors. No better than those that have died, but we had luck on our sides it seems.
The Weasleys are strong, Ron holding the family together emotionally, Charlie always there for his mum, Arthur determinedly helping to rebuild the wizarding world and earning everybody’s respect. George works hard at his joke shop, in the memory of Fred, and Bill and Fleur are looking after children orphaned by the war.
But life will never be the same for them, not without Ginny, Fred and Percy.
We hope for the best, what remains of the Order. Snape is getting better every day, despite the curses used on him in the war. We help him as much as we can, myself and Remus, and hope that the world is changing for the better. We remember the past, and we hope for the future. We try our best to change, so that nobody else has to go through the pain we did. Through all the pain comes hope.
After the End by Biscuits
Chapter Notes: None of this is mine, except the plot. Song lyrics are taken from 'Bui Doi' from Miss Saigon and 'Drink With Me' from Les Miserables.