Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or anything in their magical world. These characters and their world belong to the talented J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
Pacing the Death Chamber, Rodolphus Lestrange refused to face his fellow Death Eaters. This was the end. The Anti-Disapparation Jinx was strong. There was no way to break through it. He and the others had no choice but to await their fate. Soon he would be returned to Azkaban, or worse.
And oddly, he wasn’t sure that he cared. It was true that Azkaban was a dark and evil place, but being free of it had brought him no peace. It was almost as though the gloominess of it had seeped into his very soul. In truth, he had never been free of his cold prison cell. The coldness had lived on in him.
Besides, it wasn’t as though his life had improved upon leaving the prison. He went from prisoner to slave; there was little improvement. If only he had known what the Dark Lord truly was when he was young, perhaps his life could have been different. Maybe then he would not have lived his life surrounded by eternal darkness. But he hadn’t known, and he had signed his life away. His life had gone so bad that returning to Azkaban would almost be like returning home.
His thoughts were interrupted when Aurors stormed the small room. Some of the Death Eaters attempted to run, desperate to maintain their delusional freedom. He didn’t move. They could take him. He would not fight. There was no need.
He looked up in time to see Lucius Malfoy hit with a stunner. The foolish man truly seemed to believe he could run past various Aurors. Briefly, Rodolphus wondered what he planned to do next. He couldn’t very well return to his precious mansion and beautiful wife. Lucius Malfoy would not survive in hiding. He had lived the life of a prince. Rodolphus doubted he would be able to survive Azkaban, even with the Dementors gone.
Of course, Rodolphus was no longer certain that he could survive there either. In one way, it would be like going home, but in another, it would be much worse than before. He had survived his years in Azkaban by clinging to the belief that the Dark Lord would save him. He would return and shower his loyal followers with gifts beyond their wildest dreams. Rodolphus waited for his lord; he waiting for his rewards; but more than anything, he waited for his wife. All those years, all he really wanted was to be reunited with his beautiful Bella. When the Dark Lord returned, Rodolphus learned that his dreams were far sweeter than reality. What he wanted was gone. He would have nothing to cling to.
He was grabbed roughly from behind and all thoughts left his mind as pain surged through him. Briefly, he wondered what curse he had been hit with, but concluded that it didn’t matter. Aurors were free to use whatever spells they liked on Death Eaters. Who was going to stop them? Very few people cared about what happened to Death Eaters, and those who did were too terrified to say anything for fear they would have an Azkaban cell of their own.
Rodolphus knew that he was at the mercy of this Auror, and soon he would be at the mercy of a guard. The knowledge had no real impact on him. He had always been at the mercy of someone”never free to run his own life. First he obeyed his father, then the Dark Lord, and then his life was controlled by Dementors. For the first time, he realized that the only choice he had made in life was to marry Bella. She was the only thing that was truly his and he loved her.
Within seconds, he found himself tossed into a pile on the floor with the other Death Eaters. Accidentally, he caught Lucius’ eye and saw a spark of fury. His brother-in-law was clearly feeling degraded. It was true that they were being tossed to the floor like rubbish, but Lucius was soon to learn that being treated like rubbish wasn’t half bad compared to the way you were treated in Azkaban.
Breaking eye contact with his brother-in-law, Rodolphus realized that he was exhausted. His eyes refused to remain open, but it didn’t feel like a natural tiredness. Just before dozing off, he realized that it must be the effect of the curse he had been hit with. A curse that caused him to sleep; he couldn’t help but hope the new Azkaban guards would be fond of that one. The less time he spent conscious the better off he would be.
As he began to fall into a deep sleep, he could hear voices around him. The Aurors were talking. He was certain he heard them mention his Bella. He tried to listen, but the words faded in and out with his consciousness. They couldn’t have found Bella. He prayed they didn’t find her. Unlike him, she could be happier in hiding than in prison and he wanted her to be happy. Her face was the last thing in his mind before he finally fell into a dark and dreamless sleep.
When he awoke he was surrounded by a familiar environment. His robes were gone, replaced by a drab prison gown. He was rather grateful that he had been unconscious when being dressed by a guard. The water on the floor had already soaked through his robes and the smell of mold meant his nostrils. The cell was far too dark to see, but he knew that there would be a chamber pot in the corner and a single rag for a blanket. Sadly, the place felt just right. He was used to it.
Forcing himself into a sitting position, pain surged through his head. He ignored it. It was most likely a side effect from the curse. If his head happened to blow up, he didn’t have much to lose so he wasn’t overly concerned about it.
The darkness of his cell was welcome. Darkness had followed him since he left this place and it was somehow comforting to be reunited with it. He was grateful for the darkness; but most of all, he was grateful for the solitude. Finally, his thoughts could roam free and there was no Dark Lord to invade his mind and punish inappropriate ideas.
Immediately, his thoughts turned to his wife. He pictured her on their wedding day. She had been perfect. Her thick, black hair had been piled a top her head, hanging in luxurious curls. Her face had been fuller then and it made her appear youthful. The way her black eyes sparkled only added to her young appearance. And of course, she had had the perfect gown. Being a Black, she could afford anything she wanted and Bella always had the best. The gown was white, but changed to pale pastel colors in the sunlight, the train hanging far behind her. She had been the perfect bride, and the perfect wife.
He liked remembering Bella in her youth. She had been so full of life. There was a time when she could light up an entire room. Her personality could tame the fiercest dragon. She was the woman he loved and he had waited for the last fifteen years to have her by his side again.
But when he was finally with her, he learned that the strong, vibrant woman he had loved was gone. The Bella he was reunited with was hardly the same person. Her eyes didn’t sparkle; her hair was limp and her face skeletal. Of course, her appearance wouldn’t have troubled him. That would have never changed his feelings toward her. But her heart, her soul, even her personality had suffered along with her body. She was no longer fun and pulsating. She was sullen, withdrawn and sometimes she even appeared insane.
His Bella no longer showed love for him. She showed love for no one. Her loyalty was the only part of her that had remained intact. He knew that he could not have her love, but she would protect him. His wife would go to the end of the world for him, but if asked why she wouldn’t have an answer. The part of her that loved was gone; she was forced to live by pure instinct.
Naturally, he had not taken Bella’s withdrawal well. He tried to make her come back to him. Her baby sister was also left devastated as she tried to find her mentor in the shell that their beautiful Bella had become. They worked together, trying to remind her of the past, but nothing worked. She continued to stand by both of them, but they knew that she was no longer capable of loving them. That knowledge had nearly killed him.
However, Bella was not capable of seeing his pain. She was glad to be free. Serving her master and attending to normal tasks seemed to please her. He was happy about that. He wanted her to be content. That was why he prayed that she was still free. Being back in the darkness would take away what was left of her mind. He couldn’t bear the thought of that happening to her. It simply couldn’t be. She escaped, he told himself, she had to.
He allowed his body to fall back to the floor. His head was still aching. Thoughts of his Bella continued to swirl through his mind. The more he thought about her, the more furious he became. She didn’t deserve the life she had. She had been beautiful and smart, but he encouraged her to join the Dark Lord. He wanted his wife beside him. It was his selfishness that destroyed her. He and his Dark Lord would rot in hell for what they did to her and what they did to countless other innocent lives. Why hadn’t be seen any of it before? Why didn’t he realize it before it was too late?
Resting his head on the wet and moldy floor, tears came to his eyes. How could he continue to live with himself? How could he remain sane knowing that he destroyed the love of his life? All he had was silence and time to contemplate the horrible things he had done. If the Ministry knew one thing, it was how to punish the wicked. There was no doubt that he would spend the remainder of his days in emotional agony, praying that his wife would somehow get a second chance.
Although, he knew that chance would never come from the Ministry. She would be even higher on the Most Wanted List when they learned all that had happened earlier that evening. It had been painful for him to watch his wife. She attacked a child”used Crucio on a child! There had been a time when she loved children and had been looking forward to having a baby of her own. Her spell sent her cousin to his death and she simply ran in the other direction. Once she had loved her spunky little cousin and she was able to take his life without another thought. How could his Bella have ended up like that?
He was sobbing on the floor when his cell door opened. Glancing up quickly, he could make out the figure of a guard carrying a tray. Breakfast? Was it morning? He had forgotten how hard it was to keep track of time in the darkness.
“Please,” he said weakly as the guard sat the tray on the floor. “My wife? Please, tell me what has become of her?”
The guard stopped dead in his tracks. Apparently, it wasn’t common practice for a prisoner to speak to a guard. Perhaps he would be punished. He really didn’t care as long as his question was answered. He needed to know where Bella was. He needed to know if she was still in the real world. If there was still a chance that she could find herself. If she was returned to the darkness she would be lost forever.
“Bellatrix Lestrange has not been found,” the guard told him as he slammed the cell door shut. “She is still loose.”
Relief flooded through him. Perhaps Bella would get her second chance after all. He hoped that she would. She was all he ever had. He didn’t want to go to his grave knowing that he destroyed her.