Revenge, Strange Behaviours and Detentions
“No, that’s too obvious; it has to be more… I dunno… less obvious.”
“What do you suggest, then?”
“I suggest we hang him up by his knickers for everyone to see.”
“Of course, because he wouldn’t notice us lifting him up in the air by his underpants. Brilliant suggestion, Sirius.”
“At least I’m trying.”
“There’s trying and then there’s being stupid.”
Sirius groaned and shoved James off his bed onto the floor. Sirius, James and Peter had been sitting on Sirius’s bed, furiously trying to come up with a plan to get revenge on Crane. It was well after midnight, but they were not tired at all. James and Sirius were still far too disgusted with their detention task and Crane’s treatment of their friend to even think about sleep. When they told Peter what had happened, any thoughts he might have had of sleeping were quickly put on hold. They were not having much success, however, as they had not thought up a good idea. Peter then suggested putting a Dungbomb in his office.
“We can’t just do a Dungbomb in his office,” James said, lying back on the floor. “That’s too played out, it’s been done before.”
“Yeah, but not to him,” Peter said, resting his head against the bedpost.
“If he’s been a teacher at other schools, it has definitely happened to him.”
Sirius fell backwards onto his pillow and stared up. He didn’t think that he could have ever despised someone so much that wasn’t in his family, but Crane was the limit. There was no other way to describe him except as a git. He was so heartless to Remus when he had an honest reason as to why he couldn’t attend that detention. But Crane didn’t care; he didn’t care if Remus’s mother was sick, that Remus himself was ill. He seemed to find it funny, actually. Sirius shook his head.
“I hope Remus’s mother is alright,” he said, sitting up and resting back on his elbows.
“Hopefully she won’t be sick too long,” James agreed, finally coming up off the floor and dropping down on Remus’s empty bed.
“Didn’t you two say that he was sick too?” Peter asked curiously.
“Yeah, he was,” Sirius confirmed, nodding his head. “He got sick right before our detention.”
Peter cringed, but said nothing more.
“Come on,” James said, looking at his watch. “We should get to bed, classes tomorrow.”
Revenge would have to wait.
When the boys awoke the next morning it was to discover that Remus’s bed was still empty; this did not surprise them, though. He probably would not be returning until the evening, wanting to spend as much time possible with his mother. There was just one problem: He had another detention with Crane, as did Sirius. This detention paid off in one way; when they finally thought up their scheme, Sirius would be able to put it into action while he was in Crane’s classroom. They would not give any part of it to Remus, who would most likely not be up to it and not all that eager to get further on Crane’s bad side.
They dressed and headed down to breakfast. As they entered the Great Hall they immediately noticed the absence of Professor McGonagall from the Staff Table. She was always there, usually conversing with Professor Slughorn. The boys found it odd that she should not be there that morning. Still, they decided not to think on it and continued their discussion from the night before “ how were they going to get Crane back? What were they going to do to make him absolutely miserable as retribution for making them absolutely miserable?
“I still like the knickers idea,” Sirius insisted, loading bacon onto his plate.
“And how do you suggest we do that without him knowing it’s us?” Peter questioned, searching for the goblet of pumpkin juice.
“We have magic, don’t we?”
“Yeah, but we’ve only been in school a few days; we haven’t learned anything that would help us,” James said pointedly.
“Of course we haven’t.”
“What are you getting at?”
“Why don’t we ask some of the older students?”
“And why would they help a bunch of first years?” Peter asked incredulously.
“Because hatred of Crane is universal!” Sirius exclaimed, a strange glint in his eyes. “Who couldn’t hate a git like that? Even the Slytherins can’t stand him!”
James and Peter looked at each other, both thinking the same thing “ Sirius had lost his mind. But, despite his lack of brain power at the moment, he did have a very good point. Every student they had come upon had the same dislike of the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. They would all want to see him suffer certain well-deserved humiliation. Maybe they would enlist the help of some of the older students; Sirius’s knickers in the air idea did have a nice ring to it. If only they could pull it off.
Peter opened up his copy of the Daily Prophet and flattened it out on the table so he could read it. Sipping his pumpkin juice, he read a story on the front page about a building in Hogsmeade that some were speculating held violent spirits.
“This is interesting,” he murmured, catching the attention of James and Sirius.
“What is?” they asked simultaneously.
Peter pointed to the story and the boys read. It explained how the night before in a building that had been recently built, and never used, was now producing loud cries. Banging noises filled the air and the howls continued through the entire night. The villagers of Hogsmeade suspected that poltergeists were behind it. They had labeled the building the Shrieking Shack.
“Hmm, I wonder if there really are poltergeists in there,” James wondered, biting off a piece of his bacon.
“Could be,” Sirius surmised. “Wouldn’t be too surprising.”
They set off for their first class, which was unfortunately Defence Against the Dark Arts. They walked in and took their usual seats, waiting leisurely for Crane to appear. They honestly didn’t care how long it took for him to come into the classroom. Frank, Alice and Lily all filed in a minute after the boys and also took the same stance as the boys did. Crane could have been sick in bed, for all they cared. Crane was not sick in bed, to their intense dismay, and came into the classroom only three minutes after his students had. He took out the class roster and read off the names.
“Black, Evans, Gordon, Longbottom… hmm and where is Mr. Lupin?”
“He went to visit his mother,” Sirius said.
“Was he authorized to do this?” Crane wondered, looking up thoughtfully at the ceiling.
James had to work hard to keep from saying the nasty comment he was so bursting to say. “If Professor Dumbledore has no problem with it, then he must have been authorized.”
“I don’t recall the Headmaster saying anything of the sort.”
“Professor McGonagall didn’t have a problem with it either,” Peter added, knowing very well that if the Head of House didn’t saying anything otherwise, Remus was certainly allowed to go see his sick mother.
“I’ll have to check on this,” Crane went on, as if he had not heard a word Peter said. He looked up when he saw Lily Evans’s hand in the air.
“Miss Evans?” he asked.
“Why don’t you believe them when they say Remus went to see his mother?” she asked. She had not asked this in a rude manner; she sounded like she was simply interested.
Crane looked like he was going to get violent. Luckily for Lily, he calmed himself down enough to say, “Why is that any of your business?” And, luckily, Lily was smart enough to not answer that question. “Now that we have that out of the way….”
The lesson was surprisingly bearable. Crane seemed to be in an oddly good mood, which could only be attributed to the fact that his least favourite student was absent. He spent the period, yet again, teaching them about the Dark creatures that they had been quizzed on the first day of school. This time, fortunately, he did not go so deep into detail that his students were struggling to keep up, and they also only used one sheet of parchment for notes.
During break the boys headed up to Gryffindor Tower to deposit the books from their morning classes and collect their History of Magic textbooks. As they were approaching the portrait of the Fat Lady, they saw an all too familiar back of the head. Remus was pleading with the Fat Lady to let him in. The Fat Lady usually kept the same password for long periods of time, but she had had too much wine with her friend Violet and had changed the password early as a result.
“Please, I don’t know what the new password is!” he begged.
“No password, no entrance,” the Fat Lady said tipsily, though somehow managing to keep the entrance firmly in place.
“I wasn’t here last night,” Remus explained. “I didn’t know you changed it!”
“Mulled mead,” James said, coming up on the right of Remus. The Fat Lady swung her portrait open and the four boys climbed inside. James led the way to the dormitory, and it was only until they were all assembled in the room did they get a good look at Remus.
“Remus,” James said, turning to face his friend. “How’s your mum “ what happened to you?”
Remus did not look as bad as he did when Madam Pomfrey picked him up at the building, but he still looked beaten up. He had a dark bruise under his left eye, which stood out twice as much on his pale face. He had three presently healing scratches along his right cheek and his lip was swollen. Madam Pomfrey had spent the majority of her time healing his more critical wounds; she had gone to heal the rest, but Remus, eager to escape, said he could tell people his dog got too rough with him. He did have a particularly restless dog that tended to jump on him a lot; it wasn’t so far from the truth.
“Nothing,” he said quickly, whirling around and heading for his bed. He sat down and picked up his book bag, placing it in his lap. He began shifting through its contents, needing something to do with his hands. His friends walked over to him and bent forward slightly, trying to get a better look at his face, which was staring determinedly at the floor.
“Remus, have you looked in a mirror lately?” Sirius questioned, folding his arms across his chest. Remus shook his head fiercely, ignoring the throbbing sensation he received in return. “Maybe you should. What beat you up last night?”
Remus bit his lip, wincing in pain when his teeth pierced the swollen portion. “Nothing did… My dog… he likes to jump on people.” He chanced looking up at his roommates to see if they believed him and he saw that they didn’t buy his story for a second.
“A dog couldn’t bruise your eye like that,” James said, pointing to Remus’s blackened eye.
“I walked into something!” Remus snapped, his patience wearing thin. “I’m klutzy! What else do you want from me?”
James stepped back in shock; in the few days that he had known Remus he had never pictured him having an outburst. He assumed this came from Remus having to visit his sick mother; it was enough to put anyone on edge. “Sorry,” he apologised.
“It’s fine,” Remus said, his voice calming down somewhat. He got up from his bed and swung his schoolbag over his shoulder. “What class have we got next?” he asked.
“Err… History of Magic,” Sirius replied, pulling his folded up schedule out of his pocket and consulting it.
Remus frowned and sat back down. “Teachers aren’t expecting me in class anyway.”
“We’ll see you after class, then,” Peter said, nodding at this friend and collecting his History of Magic textbook.
Remus watched silently as James, Sirius and Peter left for their next class. Once they were gone he laid down and looked blankly up at the ceiling. He could hardly remember anything from the night before, aside from the usual excruciating pain of transforming. Though he couldn’t remember any specific details, he felt that it had been much worse than usual. He could only connect this with the fact that it was his first transformation away from home, and he had not been in the best of moods. His parents had explained that this might happen, but he had not thought to take them seriously.
This thought reminded him that he had promised his parents he would write after his first transformation; they would not rest until they heard from him. They had always been at his side when everything was over, ready to help him in any way he needed. Now he had to take care of himself. Even with Madam Pomfrey there, it was his own responsibility. He sat up once more and looked around for any spare parchment and quills he could use. Sirius usually left some scattered on the floor. Sure enough, when he glanced in the direction of the boy’s bed, he saw some quills, parchment and an ink bottle half shoved under his bed.
He picked the items up and rested his stomach on the floor, propping himself on his elbows. He scratched his chin with the tip of the quill while he thought of what to write. He couldn’t tell his parents that he was fine, because he wasn’t. But he didn’t want to upset them by telling them that he was feeling much more ill than he ever did. That detention the night before didn’t help matters either; extracting the Flobberworm mucus made him, if possible, even sicker. He groaned suddenly, remembering that he had another detention to fulfil with Sirius that night. He hated Crane.
He sucked on his swollen lip and put the quill to paper.
Mum and Dad,
I got back from my transformation okay; Madam Pomfrey brought me to the Hospital Wing while I was still sleeping, so I woke up there. Madam Pomfrey took good care of me, all I have are some bruises and cuts. There’s not much else to say about last night. I’ve been better, but nothing else. I’ve made some friends, my roommates “ James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Frank Longbottom. They’re interesting people to live with, especially when Sirius is plotting revenge on portraits of old hags.
Remus paused and scratched his chin once more, receiving inky blots splattered on his skin. He considered writing about how Crane was treating him, but thought against it. He didn’t want to upset his parents about it when he could handle the situation.
I’ll write again soon.
- Remus.
“I’m serious, this isn’t a stupid idea.”
“Yes it is.”
“It is not; don’t you want to humiliate this guy?”
“Of course I do, but your idea is just dumb.”
Sirius stepped backwards, looking highly affronted. He, James and Peter had been scouting the castle since they had left History of Magic, looking for some older students who would be likely to help them in their quest to serve justice. Every student that they had caught sounded interested at first, until Sirius pitched his idea of hanging Crane up by his knickers; they didn’t want to get too far on his bad side. They had just approached Jacob Finley, a seventh year Gryffindor. He, like all the others, sounded intrigued when they initially spoke to him, but was turned off when he thought their idea was stupid.
They watched dismally as Finley made his way through the crowds of students, trying to get away from the boys.
“I think we need a new plan,” Peter said.
James nodded. “I told you in the first place that your idea wouldn’t work.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “At least I had an idea.”
“A dumb one.”
Shrugging in defeat, Sirius checked his watch and saw that he had to leave for his detention with Crane in a half hour. He left the Great Hall and headed up to Gryffindor Tower, intending to find Remus so they could go and face their doom together. After delivering the password to the Fat Lady, he made a beeline towards the spiral staircase leading up to the first year boys’ dormitory. When he entered the room, he saw that the curtains were drawn around Remus’s bed. He pulled them back around and saw an exhausted Remus sleeping. Sirius didn’t want to wake him, knowing the he must have stayed awake for a good portion of the night with his mother, but Remus would be worse off if he missed another detention with Crane.
He lightly shook Remus’s shoulder in an attempt to wake him. Remus mumbled some nonsense and waved his hand toward Sirius’s arm, trying to swat it away. Sirius shook a little harder and slowly Remus’s eyes opened. He blinked against the light and looked up at Sirius, wondering why on Earth he had to wake him.
“We have detention,” Sirius said.
Remus groaned, annoyed. He had completely forgotten. He really didn’t want to go, but had no choice unless he wanted to have a third detention in three days. He sleepily sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll meet you there,” he said to Sirius. “I have to change.”
“I’ll wait,” Sirius said, sitting down on his own bed.
“You’ll be late for it, then.”
“Nope, we’ve still got a half hour to get there.”
Remus nodded mutely and knelt down beside his bed to get some clothes out of his trunk. Once he had a clean set of clothes and robes, he sat back on his bed and yanked the curtains around. When he reemerged, he and Sirius made their way down the familiar path to Professor Crane’s classroom. As they walked, Sirius relayed the idea of getting revenge on Crane to Remus. He seemed to find it somewhat funny, but wasn’t too keen on having any actual part it in. The man already hated him; it wouldn’t be a smart idea to encourage that any further. So he was relieved when Sirius said that they had already planned on not giving him a direct part in it, he could play the part of a spectator.
The door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom was open when they came upon it, but they did not see Crane inside. Sirius would have taken advantage of this and choose to linger outside, but Remus still looked worn out and it would be better for him to sit down, even if it was in that man’s room. Resigned to the worst, Sirius and Remus entered the room and took two seats at the front of the room, as it would only infuriate Crane more if they sat in the back, a thought that was tempting but best avoided. They waited for five minutes in silence, and still the professor didn’t appear.
“This is great,” Sirius muttered. “He gives you detention for being late and he doesn’t even show up on time.”
Remus nodded, his forehead in his hand. He could be catching up on lost sleep right now, instead of sitting in a classroom.
Sirius frowned slightly. “If he doesn’t show up in ten minutes, want to leave?” Remus made some noise in his throat that Sirius took for a “yes.”
The ten minutes passed by slowly, but Professor Crane seemed to have forgotten about his detainees, which he would most likely regret the next day. Sirius glanced down at his watch and saw that time was up. He tapped Remus on the shoulder, as Remus had fallen asleep where he sat, and motioned for his friend to follow him. Just as they reached the door, a voice from behind stopped them.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
They wheeled around to see Professor Crane standing at his desk, looking as though he had been standing there the entire time and had anticipated their escape. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.
“We didn’t think you were coming,” Sirius explained. It wasn’t a very farfetched assumption, as Crane had taken his time getting to the classroom.
“So you just decided to leave?”
“We’ve been waiting fifteen minutes.”
“That still does not give you permission to leave without my consent. Did you think that I’d forgotten about you?”
“That’s what it looked like.”
“In that case, maybe you should go. You need your sleep for classes tomorrow, it’s a shame I don’t have you tomorrow. You could have taken a specially prepared test or perhaps stayed after class to discuss a third detention.”
Sirius felt Remus tense beside him; this man was taking this too far. “Professor,” Sirius said, trying with difficulty to keep the anger out of his voice, “what did we do wrong?”
“That really is a ridiculous question, Mr. Black,” Crane chuckled.
“You’re really a ridiculous person,” Remus hissed under his breath. Sirius side-glanced at his roommate, was he asking to be killed?
“What was that, Mr. Lupin?”
“I said you’re ridiculous!” Remus repeated, his voice reaching a volume that he didn’t think he would be able to reach in his current state. “Why do you keep giving us a hard time? We didn’t do anything!”
“Remus…” Sirius said warningly, but Remus didn’t hear him, or chose to ignore him.
“I said I couldn’t do detention yesterday and you know why I couldn’t! You’re taking advantage of what’s going on!”
“I am your teacher, I have the right to tell you when you can and cannot fulfil your detention.”
“Not with this, you can’t.”
Sirius looked between confusedly Crane and Remus and then back to the professor. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw Crane’s hand grip his wand, but the next he was sure he had imagined it. Instead, Crane’s shoulders relaxed and he forced a smile on his face, though it came out something like a grimace.
“You’re absolutely right, Mr. Lupin,” he said in his most pleasant voice. “I have not been fair to you.”
Remus was shocked into muteness.
“You two may go; you do not have to do detention.” Sirius and Remus were still too shocked to move. It only took the threat of fifty points from Gryffindor to make them leave. Once in the hallway, Sirius noticed Remus’s face had gone pale once more.
“You’re going to be sick again, aren’t you?”
Without a nod or word, Remus dashed past Sirius in the direction of the bathroom. Sirius folded his arms across his chest; there was something strange about that kid.