Distance
This was surreal. It couldn’t have happened. There was no way the Death Eaters had known where to find them. Yet they had known and they had come and it was just lucky James had spotted them before it was too late. He was frightened to think of what would have happened if he hadn’t spotted them. They were lucky they were able to Apparate into Sirius’s home. Some of the Order had been sent immediately to the Potters’ home to fend off the Death Eaters before they destroyed everything. Unfortunately most of their kitchen was smashed apart, as well as a good part of the living room.
Fortunately the Order had shown up before anything else could be damaged.
James and Lily, along with Harry, had taken up residence in Remus’s old bedroom until they were able to go back home and collect their belongings. Dumbledore had made it clear they were forbidden to remain there for longer than that. They were going to have to find another home. How had the Death Eaters found them? They were so far removed from society, only the Order knew where to find them. No one else did. Well, James may have mentioned their residence to someone at work, there was always the chance he had said it offhandedly. That could have been the reason.
Though they both hated to think one of his coworkers would do him in like that. Besides, they were the only ones who knew about the prophecy aside from Frank and Alice and neither of them would do that. Merlin, Frank and Alice were lucky. Or were they? Was Voldemort going after them as well? Was he trying to kill their son? Was Neville in just as much danger as Harry was? They hoped he wasn’t. They were children, babies, they shouldn’t have had to go through this. They were months old and someone was already trying to snatch their lives before they had had a chance to live them.
Their parents had signed up for the Order, not them.
“Hey,” Sirius said when he walked into the living room and saw James, Lily and their son were already in there. James was speaking quietly to his wife and he only looked up when he heard Sirius’s voice.
“Hi,” James greeted tiredly. “We were just saying that Dumbledore’s found a new place for us.”
“Is this one safe?” Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. They could have been killed if James hadn’t seen the Death Eaters coming. Sirius would be damned if there was a repeat occurrence.
“We think so,” Lily said, nodding. She hoped so, anyhow. “We’re not telling anyone other than you, Peter and Remus, when he contacts us, where we are. Dumbledore will know as well, of course.”
Sirius still looked doubtful, but he nodded. He supposed that if their location was safe with anyone, it was with those they had just named. He couldn’t imagine any of them divulging the information if they were told not to, even to people they thought they could trust. Sirius knew he would take the information to his grave if it came to it.
James stood up. “We’re going to start bringing our stuff there, what the Death Eaters haven’t gotten, I mean.”
“I haven’t got anywhere to go today,” Sirius told them. “Auror training isn’t until tomorrow, so I’ll watch Harry for you.”
Lily smiled grateful. ‘Thank you. We won’t be very long.” Lily carefully placed Harry in his godfather’s arms and she and James left to return to their home.
Sirius looked down at the innocent baby in his arms, whose brilliant green eyes were watching him curiously. “You know, the world isn’t always so crazy,” he told the infant as he took a seat on the couch. “You may find this hard to believe, but there was a time when our worst problem was getting rid of a crazy professor. You’ll thank us for that when you get to Hogwarts.” He doubted Harry would have taken to Professor Crane at all; the man was a bloody menace to society. Merlin, what Sirius wouldn’t give to go back to that time. Eleven and innocent, it was a nice time.
“So, you want to watch me clean the kitchen?” Without wasting a second, Sirius brought the baby into the kitchen and set up a sort of makeshift bed for the boy with a pillow he had taken from Remus’s old bedroom. Once he was sure the baby was settled, and safe, there, Sirius pulled out his wand and thought for a long time. He drew a blank. “Merlin, Moony was the one who usually did the cleaning.”
He had forgotten all the spells.
Remus didn’t think it was possible to feel so cold for the end of August, but there he was. He was freezing and all he had was his threadbare cloak to keep him warm. He couldn’t light a fire and spells only helped so much. He was just grateful that he was walking continuously until he found the pack of werewolves. Dumbledore had given him a position to Apparate to that was far enough away that they didn’t detect his presence immediately upon his arrived. He had yet to find them, but he had a feeling he was getting close. He didn’t know why, but that was what his gut was telling him.
He just wanted this over and done with. He wanted to find out what he had to find out and get home. He’d been gone for not even three days and he missed home terribly. He wanted to wake up in his bed in the flat he had shared with Sirius, not wake up in the middle of the forest. He wanted to see his friends, wanted to show them that he hadn’t abandoned them. Yet he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t contact them yet. He couldn’t risk being found before he found out the necessary information. If he was, it would jeopardize the entire operation and it would be entirely his fault. He didn’t want to live with that.
Remus paused and leaned against the nearest tree trunk, shutting his eyes and rubbing them. He was tired. He didn’t think he had slept properly in weeks. When his parents died, he may have gotten one or two hours of sleep on the nights following. Now he was afraid of sleeping. He was afraid that if he lay down for even a few minutes, something would find him and kill him. If the werewolves found him out here, who knew what they would do to him? He was glad just thankful that he didn’t actually have to consort with him.
Any werewolf shunned by society would smell wizard on him in a second. They would clearly recognise that he had been living amongst wizards for his entire life, that he hadn’t gotten the shaft as they had and wouldn’t understand the lives they led. Merlin knew they wouldn’t take kindly to that. He hated to think of what they might do to him. They would probably force him to live under their laws, never go back to London, and strip him of his wand. He didn’t want that to happen. He wanted to see his friends again. He wanted his life to go back to normal.
Of course, when had his life ever been normal?
He was a bloody werewolf, for Merlin’s sake! He had never been normal. Ever since the age of three he had been completely and utterly abnormal. He was definitely the most abnormal student to ever attend Hogwarts, definitely the farthest from normal amongst the Order of the Phoenix. Hell, he was even the most abnormal werewolf because he had attempted to live amongst wizards for his entire life. He had his parents to thank for that. They only wanted what was best for him and it had worked for the longest time. Unfortunately it had not prepared him for this.
Remus straightened up and felt a shudder run up and down his spine. How could it be so cold? Had the Dementors made it here with their breeding? It wouldn’t be the shock of the century. They had infiltrated most of the country, so why not here as well? He hoped he wouldn’t have to be here for long. He hoped the information would be revealed quickly so he could high-tail it back to London. Unless Dumbledore wanted him to come back? Dumbledore hadn’t exactly given an expiration date on this mission. He could be here for the entire duration of the war and who knew how long that would be?
Remus had no clear idea of where his feet were carrying him; he only hoped it was in the right direction. He had to find this pack. He had to do his job so he could go back home and see his friends again.
What he wouldn’t give to see his friends again.
Lily felt like a mother. After the complete hell of the recent past, it was nice to just feel like a mother. She enjoyed being able to spend time with her son in a way that didn’t end in them having to move because Dark wizards had come knocking on their door. She could do such simple things for now. Right now she was simply able to go to the park with Harry, who was resting comfortably in the pram she was pushing. The sun wasn’t so bright, so she didn’t have to cover his face from it and he was able to enjoy the view. The park was somewhat crowded. There were children swinging and running up and down slides while their mothers told them that what they were doing was dangerous and they should stop.
Lily couldn’t believe that was going to be her one day. She was going to be one of the mothers who was dissuading her son from climbing too high on the monkey bars or swinging much too high for her liking. She couldn’t wait for that.
“Lily.”
She glanced up and couldn’t help her eyes growing wide when she realised who it was that had spoken. “Petunia?” What was more “ Petunia was also pushing a pram. Both women were staring at the other as if they didn’t know what to do. Lily hadn’t seen her sister since her wedding and she honestly had not expected to see her again. Not for another ten years at the least. Merlin, this was awkward. “I… erm… how are you?” Lily asked with noticeable hesitance in her voice.
Petunia, however, did not seem to hear the woman’s question and was instead gazing, with a certain amount of horror, at the pram the woman was pushing. A pram could mean only one thing. “You… you’ve had a baby?”
“So have you,” Lily pointed out. The woman moved around so she would be able to see the baby, but Petunia deftly moved the pram around so she couldn’t. Lily sighed and placed her hands on her hips, glaring up at her sister. “Really, Petunia, are you going to be ridiculous about it?”
“I’m not being ridiculous,” Petunia insisted.
“Then let me see.” When Petunia obviously wasn’t going to budge, Lily sighed again and simply asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?”
“A boy.”
“What’s his name?”
“Dudley.”
Oh Merlin, the poor kid, Lily thought to herself, but she dared not say it aloud. Merlin knew the boy couldn’t have been given a worse name, at least in her opinion. As if his last name wasn’t bad enough. Then again, his name did have a sort of ring to it “ Dudley Dursley. “That’s… that’s a lovely name,” she said, hoping her true feelings weren’t betrayed in her voice.
Luckily, Petunia seemed to have not heard her. “What’s your baby’s name?” Petunia demanded, causing her sister to raise an eyebrow.
“Harry,” Lily replied, noticing how Petunia didn’t bother to hide her disgust at the name. At least Lily had tried to be discreet about her feelings. Petunia probably thought the name was common, but she didn’t know the meaning behind the name and Lily very much doubted the woman would care if she did. “Harry James Potter,” she added. She didn’t care if Petunia liked the name, Lily and James liked it and that was what mattered.
“Well,” Petunia began, unsure of what to say. “That’s… good to know, I suppose.”
Lily nodded, unsure of what that could possibly mean. “Yes… I suppose. Listen, Petunia-”
“I should be getting home. Vernon will be back from work soon.” Without another word, the woman had continued to march on forward without as much as a backwards glance towards her sister.
When Lily arrived home, the first thing she did was tell James, who was getting ready to leave for his shift at the hospital, about her trip to the park. When James couldn’t stifle his laughter about the baby’s name, Lily didn’t bother to either. At least they could have a good laugh over that. Lily wanted to be mad that her sister hadn’t told her she’d had a baby, but Lily knew that would have been hypocritical. Lily didn’t exactly go out of her way to inform Petunia of the same. Still, the fact that Petunia looked absolutely horrified at the idea of her sister being a mother was one that Lily was not likely to forget.
Sirius was bored. He was bored out of his mind and the worst part of it was that he had no one to tell this to. James was always at St. Mungo’s or with Lily and the baby. Peter was always at work or off doing Merlin knew what. Remus had all but been swallowed up by the abyss. He had said he would contact them soon, but what exactly was his definition of that word? It had nearly been two months since he moved out and disappeared. Sirius missed having his roommate around. He always had someone to talk to. Now he was likely to start talking to himself and then he would know it was time to check into St. Mungo’s.
The only times he really ever spoke to anyone know was during his Auror training and the Order meetings. Even then, it wasn’t the same as having his friends around, just joking and laughing about complete nonsense. Merlin, he couldn’t remember the last time he and his friends had done that. Everything had become so bloody complicated. He knew life often got in the way of living, but this kind of life had invaded in the cruelest way possible. Now Sirius never got to see his friends.
He had half a mind to go against Remus’s request for no one to contact him until he did, but he always stopped him just as he was about to pull out his wand and conjure up a Patronus with a message. If Remus had specifically said to wait for him to contact them, he must have good reason. Sirius supposed he could always go track Peter and James down. They could go to the Leaky Cauldron or just spend time in his flat, talking and throwing things at each other like they used to. Sweet Merlin, they were only twenty! This should have been the high point of their lives and yet they barely had time for each other. It was all because of this stupid war.
“Padfoot!”
Sirius heard the slightly muffled voice coming from the inside of his pocket. He quickly slid the two-way mirror out and saw James’s face in the glass, where Sirius’s own reflection should have been. “What’s up, Prongs?”
“I’ve got off work early; you want to get Peter and head to the Leaky Cauldron?”
For a moment Sirius had thought something bad may have happened. Relief didn’t quite cover how he felt when he realised it was just James wanting to hang out like they used to. “Sure. If I can find Peter, I’ll drag him along and meet you there at around seven, I suppose?”
“Sounds good to me.” James’s face vanished from the glass and Sirius felt a grin cross his face. Maybe it wasn’t the entire group, the four of them, but three was better than nothing. Hell, two would have been better than nothing. Anything beat being alone. Sirius locked up his flat and set out at once to Peter’s store in Hogsmeade. If he couldn’t catch him there, Sirius would check the man’s home and see if he was there. Sirius really just wanted to see his friends. He was sick and tired of being bored.
He managed to catch Peter just as the man was locking up the store. “Wormtail!” Sirius said excitedly, causing Peter to jump slightly.
“Sirius, what are you doing here?” Peter asked, considerably surprised. It wasn’t like Sirius to randomly appear at his shop.
“We’re going out “ you, me and James are going to the Leaky Cauldron.”
“We are?”
“Yes, of course we are. When was the last time we did that?”
Peter seriously thought about this and came to the conclusion that he hadn’t the slightest idea. “Good point,” he conceded before following Sirius away from the shop and Apparating to Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley was, as usual, more or less deserted. No one wanted to stay out later than necessary. Sirius honestly didn’t care. His identity was already known to probably every Dark witch and wizard, what did he have to lose? Peter, on the other hand, didn’t worry for a different reason. The Death Eaters weren’t about to come out and attack one of their own. He was perfectly safe.
James was already sitting at the bar when they arrived. He was quietly talking to Tom, who had slid a glass of butterbeer towards the younger man. James looked around and grinned when he spotted his friends entering the pub. “Harry was crying, Lily was telling me I was useless, I needed to get out,” James explained as they sat.
“Oh, but we always tell you that you’re useless and you’ve never had to get away from us,” Sirius jibed, elbowing his friend in the ribs.
James chuckled lightly. “She’s just stressed out, what with having to move again and the reason why we had to move. I don’t blame her.”
Peter was glad neither James nor Sirius seemed to notice him shift uncomfortably on his stool. If it hadn’t been for him, Lily needn’t have to worry about moving, but he had to do what he had to do. If he had to give the Dark Lord that information, he was going to do it. He didn’t know if he should say anything on the subject, so he said nothing and settled for ordering a mug of butterbeer.
“Have you heard from Remus?” James asked Sirius concernedly.
Sirius shook his head as he thanked Tom for the butterbeer he’d slid towards him. He dug for gold in his pocket and set some down on the counter. “No, not a word. Have you?”
James shook his head sadly. “It’s like he vanished. He said he would contact us soon.”
“He’s probably got a different idea of what soon means,” Peter muttered offhandedly before taking a sip of his drink.
James and Sirius looked at him. “What do you mean?” Sirius asked.
Peter shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to us anymore.”
Sirius raised a doubtful eyebrow. “I don’t think so, Wormtail. Why would he not want to talk to any of us?” They were the first real friends he had ever made. They were basically his only best friends. Sirius couldn’t even fathom the idea of Remus wanted to cut ties with them, for any reason.
“When people go through terrible things, don’t they change?”
Sirius couldn’t deny this, though he didn’t think this would drastically change. “Well… yes, but I don’t think it would make him stop talking to his friends.”
“Have you heard a single word from him?”
“Wormtail,” James abruptly cut in before Peter and Sirius were at each other’s throats. “Let’s just give him some more time. Can’t you understand what he’s gone through?” If anyone would understand that, it would be Peter. His father had been murdered by Death Eaters the same way Remus’s parents had been.
The past few full moons had been horrible. Remus had found the werewolf pack he was supposed to be spying on and when the full moon rolled around, Remus had to run as far as he could from them, lest he be spotted. Remus was sure that these werewolves would recognise a newcomer and, when the moon set, he would be questioned about his intentions. Dumbledore had been very clear “ he was not to be spotted. Yet it was horrible that he had to wait out his injuries, which seemed to be worse than ever now that he was in this unfamiliar environment. He doubted any broken bones he may have had healed correctly.
He would have to ask James to fix them the next time he saw him, whenever that was.
Remus had long ago lost track of the days, only that it must have been winter by now, if the snow was any indication. Maybe he was just imagining the snow, he wouldn’t be surprised. With all of the sleep he’d gotten since he started this mission “ which was very little “ he would not be shocked if he began seeing things. All he knew for certain was that he was unbearably cold, tired, and hungry. He just wanted to go home. Yet he needed the word from Dumbledore before that was possible and he had had no word from the man since the second week he was out in the wilderness.
Remus was now concealed by a very large tree trunk, peering out from behind it as he watched the pack at work. He had to admit, for people shunned from society, they knew how to make their own. They clearly had those in higher positions than others and it seemed everyone had some sort of job to keep their lives going. He couldn’t deny that he was impressed by it, though he was worried as well. If they could do this, they could certainly be helpful to Voldemort when he finally came to recruit them.
Yet that had not happened yet and Remus was beginning to wonder if it ever would. Maybe Voldemort was taking his time, going to all of the different Dark creatures before he settled on one. Maybe he was going pick more than one and had to decide which ones? He could be paying a visit to the werewolves soon. When that would happen, Remus didn’t know; he only hoped that it would never happen. Maybe the war would end long before that ever came about. If there was an end to this war, that was. As the days went by, he was beginning to doubt that more and more. Maybe that was what being on your own for so long did to a person “ make them think about the worst case scenarios.
Remus heard rustling from behind him and quickly looked around. He had half a mind to believe that one of the werewolves in the pack had noticed his presence and was trying to get him from behind. However, it wasn’t anything of the sort. In fact, it was a welcome sight. It was Dumbledore’s Patronus “ the shiny, silvery phoenix. This could only mean something good, couldn’t it? The phoenix was moving in a way that suggested Remus follow it and so he did. He walked for what seemed like ages until he came upon the most welcome sight in the world.
Professor Dumbledore was in the forest.
“What are you doing here, Professor?” Remus asked. His voice was hoarse from lack of use.
Dumbledore was silent for a moment as he observed the young man through his half-moon spectacles. The effects of living in the wilderness for so long were clear on him. There were heavy bags under the man’s eyes, his hair was knotted and clumped with dirt. The dirt was all over his shabby and torn robes and the injuries he had sustained from the full moon were very noticeable. “I think it is in your best interest to spend Christmas with your friends.”
The group in the Potters’ flat was small “ it only consisted of James, Lily, Harry, Sirius and Peter “ but it was a happy group, nonetheless. This was Harry’s first Christmas and they were doing their best to make it a happy one, one that wasn’t marred by the war raging outside these four walls. They had the biggest tree they could find that could fit into the flat and decorated it with brightly coloured ornaments and lights. Harry seemed enthralled by the colourful tree. They knew Harry wouldn’t remember his first Christmas “ what baby did? “ but they wanted to remember it, at any rate.
“What is this, Sirius?” Lily asked curiously when she opened up the present Sirius had bought for Harry.
“It’s a stuffed dog, Lily,” Sirius said. It was a large, black dog, though the face was slightly smushed from being crushed under of the Harry’s other presents.
“It looks exactly like you in your Animagus form,” James pointed out with a laugh.
“That was the intention, mate. The kid needs to know just how awesome his godfather is, doesn’t he.”
James shook his head, though he couldn’t keep from laughing. Lily set the stuffed dog down and Harry stared at it with mild interest before turning his attention away from it, as though he was already bored with it.
The most important thing was to still have a Christmas. So many parts of their lives had been uprooted because of the war, yet they wanted to prove they could still enjoy a holiday. Christmas had always been one of their favourite days of the year and they didn’t want that to change, especially not now that Harry was here. Every child should be able to enjoy a holiday without the worries of the war.
Just as Lily was setting dinner on the table, there was a knock at the door. James and Sirius were instantly on their feet, wands out. Peter had slowly risen from his seat and was taking his time drawing his wand. The people who knew about this place were all here, with the exception of Dumbledore. Who would be knocking on their door on Christmas? If it was another trick of the Death Eaters… James made his way towards the front door, Sirius not too far behind him. “Who is it?” James barked.
There was no denying the hoarse, tired voice that replied from the outside. James flung the door open and saw Remus standing on the steps. He looked more tired than they had ever seen him and there were a number of new scars visible on his face and neck, but he was there. They hadn’t seen him in months, hadn’t heard a word from him and the best Christmas present any of them could ask for was for them all to be together on Christmas.