Snape bowed low before him. ''My lord,'' he said. ''If there is anything I can do, any information I may gather, after my long disloyalty....'' Voldemort laughed.
''Do not think I will let you off that easily, Severus,'' he sneered, his thin slits of eyes glowing. ''We must remember how you deserted me for that champion of Mudbloods and Muggles, Albus Dumbledore. We must remember how you left me in my hour of need, how you were not even there at my re-birth. How you have remained loyal to Dumbledore throughout this time. How I have seen no evidence of your wishing to aid me in any way.''
''I did not see Lucius Malfoy profess himself as your humble servant, nor did I see Macnair declare you as his master. Forgive me, Lord, for my betrayal, but remember that for some years it has not been wise to reveal oneself as a Death Eater.'' Voldemort looked down upon Snape, a cold smile playing at his lips.
''Yes, that is true. Few remained truly loyal to me. Those that did are being duly rewarded - to them I am grateful. Those who were not, those such as yourself, Malfoy, Macnair - they will suffer my displeasure. I think it is time to remind you, Severus, of what my displeasure feels like.''
Snape did not move. He knew what was coming. The Dark Lord raised his wand and whispered. “Crucio.”
Snape began to scream as agony pervaded his limbs. He felt himself twitch and jerk, and with every jerk came new pain. His eyelids bore down upon him heavily, all he could see were white sparks beating against his sockets, and his limbs seemed to be tearing from his body. He had to make a physical effort to tell his lungs to breathe, for the pain was causing them to stop and start suddenly. ''Please, stop,'' he cried. ''I am your servant. I am humble. I will do anything, just stop, stop.''
Voldemort flicked his wand, and the curse lifted. '' There,'' he soothed, as Snape lay panting with exhaustion, an ache running through his body. ''There. That wasn't so difficult, was it?''
Snape was rasping for breath, yet he drew himself into a bow. '' My lord,'' he said. ''You teach me yet of your power. What may I do for your forgiveness?''
Voldemort paused. ''It is not a difficult task,'' he said. ''It could so easily look like an accident, like a fatal blunder of Potter's. He is not so proficient at Potions, I am told. Poison him, curse him, do what you can, then bring him to me while he is yet weak, and I myself will finish him off. Do not come back to me with excuses. You are a teacher at the school - there is no one in a better position than you to undertake this. If you fail, it will be the worse for you.''
Inwardly, Snape wondered how he could remain a spy for the Order with a task like this. Yet he knew it was best not to muse in front of the Dark Lord. ''Master, it is done,'' he said.
''Very well, Severus, here indeed is a chance to prove yourself. Do not disappoint me.''
''Master, never again will I incur your wrath. I am faithful.''
'' Then you will bring me the boy. He will not outwit me again. He is young, and relatively unlearned. It will be interesting to see what becomes of my equal when matched against me.''
''Your equal, Lord? He is but a child.''
''Yes, but he has escaped me too many times to be a mere child. He is difficult to kill, which is why I will enjoy doing so. I have always relished a challenge.''
''He will be yours.''
''I would hope so, for your own sake. You may go, Severus.'' With this the Dark Lord vanished. Snape was left to wander through the countryside alone. His head was teeming with worries - he was almost a dead man. Voldemort did not truly believe he was loyal, and if he delayed bringing the boy.......He would go to Dumbledore. It was impossible that he could remain a spy while Voldemort waited for Potter to be delivered, the Dark Lord's impatience would culminate in his own death. And Hermione....he resolved to treat her as he had before. With this epitaph hanging about his neck, she couldn't get her hopes up - it was cruel. He had known what it was like for a lover - no, she had never been his lover, for someone you loved, to suddenly be taken from you at the hands of Lord Voldemort. She was still at school; it wasn’t even morally right. No, he decided, he must convince her that he hated her, and treat her with the business-like severity he reserved for most of the student body. With this thought firmly in his mind, perspiration clinging to his forehead from Voldemort’s recent attack, he made his way shakily back to Hogwarts.
Snape’s first lesson happened to be NEWT level Potions, and as he entered the clammy dungeon he saw Hermione brooding miserably over her books. He was not to know that she was still feeling guilty over hexing Ron, and assumed that she was uncomfortable about him teaching her after what had happened. Well, he would show her, he would show her how bitter and vile he could be, and he would crush their feelings for each other once and for all.
''Good afternoon,'' he announced, pacing the dungeon. ''Those of you who perhaps possess more than one brain cell will have had no problems with the Brinythistle essay I set last Monday. For the majority, I will explain its properties in the hope that this will finally sink in to your tiny brains. Did you have a question, Mr. Thomas?''
Dean had waved his hand in the air. '' Professor, I couldn't find any information on Brinythistle,'' he said. This was followed by murmurs of ''Nor could I,'' echoing around the room.
''Brinythistle isn't registered under that name,'' Hermione said absently. ''It's registered under hortibrinius only. Brinythistle's just its common name.''
Snape raised his eyebrows. ''Correct, Miss Granger - you never do resist the temptation to show off, do you?'' This was met by sniggers from the Slytherins.
Hermione flushed, but said nothing.
''Well, moving swiftly on. Can anyone tell me how Brinythistle is used in medi-wizardry?'' Snape continued. Hermione raised her hand. ''Except, of course, for Miss Granger, who clearly knows everything.'' Hermione let her arm fall to her sides. The Slytherins laughed harder.
There was no response from the class. Nobody knew. Hermione gazed hard into her book, not wishing to attract Snape's attention. Why he wanted to humiliate her, she did not know, but clearly the kiss they had shared meant nothing to him.
'' Can no-one tell me?'' Snape said, looking through Hermione towards the back row, where Crabbe and Goyle sat, basking in their own stupidity. ''Nobody? Very well, Miss Granger, let us marvel at your mental prowess. Your brain has grown so much it may have even caught up with your teeth.'' And your breasts, too he thought, gazing at them. Then he shook himself out of that thought. She was just a toothy little know-it-all, the same as she always had been. He owed her nothing. And while it was hurting him to be so vicious towards her, somehow he was enjoying it.
Hermione looked at him, her eyes expressionless. ''It is used to counteract Petrifying,'' she said dully. She tried to make her voice sound bored and disinterested, as though his cruelty did not affect her.
''Correct. Did anyone else actually do the homework, or is Miss Granger the only insufferable know-it-all amongst you?'' Malfoy was almost crying with laughter. He stopped only to look around with curiosity, for Hermione had just stood up.
''What exactly is your problem?'' she said, her eyes boring into Snape's. He faltered.
''I advise you not to address me in that manner, Miss Granger,'' he said. He was trying desperately to keep his cool - why had she got up? Why did she look at him so penetratingly, so that he was so full of desire?
''I would advise you not to make personal comments about me,'' Hermione retorted. ''No one in this room would deny that you are a greasy-haired, hook-nosed bastard, but I don't intend to call you that.''
''I think I shall see you after the lesson, Granger, so that we can arrange your detention. What you just did was not a smart move, I think you will find.''
Hermione shrugged. ''Whatever,'' she said, sitting back down. ''I don't really care.'' Snape ignored her as the class whispered excitedly. For the rest of the lesson, Snape would not look at her.
Finally, the bell rang out, and she waited by his desk. Snape walked over to her from the other side of the dungeon, and watched her chest rise and fall with passion.
''Well well, Miss Granger, so I'm a hook-nosed, greasy bastard, am I?'' He looked at her keenly. ''That's an interesting, and probably accurate description of myself that I did not need to hear.''
Hermione looked at him, tears faltering in her eyes. ''I know,'' she said shortly. ''But my teeth didn't bother you when you had your tongue down my throat.'' She thought she saw him wince.
''Hermione, you know my reasons for backing off that night, and they were good reasons,'' he said, relenting as he saw how pained she looked. '' I didn't want to. But our relationship should never be more than that of teacher and student, particularly now, when the Dark Lord shows his suspicions by torturing me. And the way I just humiliated you - well, I humiliate most of my Gryffindor students in that way. I am not a very nice man.''
''That wasn't just your regular treatment of Gryffindors. That was vicious. And when you talk to Malfoy, you're all courtesy and charm.''
''Hermione, Lucius Malfoy is a very powerful man. If I do not give Malfoy, as the son of a fellow Death Eater considerable privileges, somebody is going to smell a rat.''
''Don't worry about my parents then. What threat could they pose? I'm a Mudblood, remember?''
''It's not like that. I would never support, I would never condone, the sort of crimes against Muggles-''
''But presumably you have to murder people? People like my parents, perhaps? Otherwise, someone indeed will smell a rat.''
''I have never had to do so as a spy for the Order. And my role amongst the Death Eaters is more subtle. My value is not that I commit brutality, but that I am here, in Hogwarts, near Harry. However, as a young man - I did things. I did things of unimaginable cruelty. And I was a boy of about eighteen, and I enjoyed doing them.''
Hermione shuddered. ''Why?'' she said. ''Why would you enjoy murder, and torture? Whatever upbringing you had, whatever happened at school, still cannot explain what the Death Eaters do, what you did.''
Snape looked pale and his lips were set. ''Hermione, I would rather not speak of it,'' he said.
''Of course you wouldn't. It's too uncomfortable for you, isn't it? It's a touchy subject. What about the millions used as casual playthings by you? All the lives destroyed while you amused yourself with a bit of murder.''
Snape looked lost. ''Hermione, I cannot explain these things away. I live in the hope that Voldemort might kill me - it would atone a little for what I have done. But I was brought up to be full of hate. My father used the Cruciatus curse upon me when I was three years old. Our house was never what it should have been, never a haven, never a home. I saw my mother beaten and raped by the man who had fathered me. I was despised by all at school and I despised everyone. I was a nobody, a vicious loner, and then Voldemort found me. And suddenly here was this wizard who felt the same, or so I thought. He hated everything, and so did I, I was accepted, even admired. It is a potent feeling.'' He bent his head away from her.
''Severus,'' Hermione began.
''Don't,'' he whispered, his lips drawn. ''Do not repeat what you have heard. I did not wish to reveal anything to you, I do not wish to be attracted to you. In some ways, I hate you. Yet I cannot help myself.''
He looked at her pleading eyes, and felt his hand caress her breast. '' God, if only you were not so...'' he trailed off. Hermione clung to him. ''Severus,'' she murmured.
''Do not,'' he said. ''Do not tempt me. It is best that I am left alone. It is best that I am hated - if you love me, trust that I will hurt you in good time. I cannot cope with your love, I would trample on it. And I don't even like you freely, it is against my will and judgment.''
Hermione stroked his cheek. ''But you've changed. The fact that you like me shows it.''
'
'No. A man like me can never change. The poor lessons I learned in early childhood are ingrained too deeply. Please, Hermione, stop for your own sake.''
Hermione kissed him. ''I will carry on for yours,'' she said.
And I'll leave it there - what happens next will be in Chapter 5!!